by Jenn Leigh
Fuck, back to the shower I go.
***
I woke to the smell of bacon and eggs. If there was any smell that could get a man out of bed faster, it was the smell of bacon and eggs.
I grabbed a pair of sweats and a T-shirt then headed downstairs into the kitchen where I found Josh and Natalie kissing in front of the food.
“Stop that!” I yelled. “You’re ruining the bacon.” I winked at Natalie as she blushed dark red.
I loved bugging her. It was so easy.
Josh shot me a warning look, but I ignored it as I sat down at the table, Nat brought me a coffee.
Something fishy was going on here. First cooking and now being served coffee?
“What’s up?” I asked.
Josh and Natalie exchanged a look as Daniel strode in, scratching his stomach and yawning like it was five in the morning.
I raised my eyebrow at him.
“What? It’s the bacon. It’s like a homing device or something,” he stated on a shrug.
Natalie poured him coffee, too. Then it was Daniel’s turn to exchange a look with me.
“What’s going on?” Daniel asked.
Josh and Nat sat across from us and linked hands. Why did this feel like bad news?
Josh took a deep breath. “I want you both to know that Nat and I have given a lot of thought to what I’m about to tell you. This wasn’t an easy thing to find out, but now’s the time to let everyone know ...” He trailed off.
Daniel kicked him in the shin.
“Ouch, fucker, that hurt,” Josh complained, rubbing his leg.
“You fucking can’t just end the sentence there, asshole.” Daniel grabbed Nat’s hand, concern lacing his voice. “Whatever it is, we’ll get through it together. I promise. We are a family, and we’ll do whatever we need.”
Nat took a deep breath. “Good, because we’re having a baby.”
Shocked. I was beyond shocked.
Daniel and I looked at each other, thinking the same thing. Holy shit, we’re going to be uncles!
“Thank, fuck, because I thought you were really sick or something. I’ve heard you puking, and I thought you were dying or some shit. Jesus, really? I didn’t even know you wanted more kids after Anthony and Julia.”
Daniel tended to get verbal diarrhea when he was worried, so him asking this was actually a good thing since I thought the same.
Josh and Nat shared an intimate look before answering Daniel’s question.
“I didn’t think I wanted any more kids, either, truthfully. However, I also hadn’t planned on meeting Josh and becoming a family again. I want nothing more than to expand that. Anthony and Julia will always be in my heart. This one isn’t replacing my kids or anything like that. This is a baby born out of love, for them and for me.” She looked at Josh again. It was so sickeningly sweet I either wanted to gag or go and start a craft project.
Daniel got up and rounded the table to the other side. Nat stood up, and Daniel wrapped her up in a big bear hug.
“Congratulations,” he mumbled into her neck. “I can’t wait to be an uncle.” He sounded really excited about that prospect.
I got up and gave Josh a hug. “Congrats, man. You’ll be a great dad.”
I slapped him on the back a few times. Then Daniel and I switched, and I gave Nat a huge hug.
“Anthony and Julia would be happy to have a baby brother or sister,” I stated, squeezing her tightly, which caused her to cry, but it was a happy cry.
I kept hugging her until she worked through it.
I was super excited. The idea of being an uncle was great. I loved kids. I wanted some of my own, but thinking on it now, I wasn’t sure if Nilka could have kids after what had happened. It would be one of those things we had to talk about when the time was right. Until then, being an uncle would be a great start.
“So, when is the big day?” asked Daniel.
“Well, I just hit my three month mark, so the baby will be due in October. And, no, we don’t plan on finding out what it is. There aren’t many surprises left in this world, so this will be one of them,” Nat replied.
We continued to chat and eat until it was time to get ready for the day. I was heading into the shop since I had a few paint projects I was working on.
***
I was in the middle of repainting a car when Dad knocked on the window in the paint area. I finished up the first coat and disrobed from the paint suit I had to wear. Then I grabbed a bottle of water on my way to his office.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“Did you hear the news?”
“Yep, sure did, Grandpa,” I stated on a smile.
The old man looked downright giddy.
“Your mother is beside herself with glee. She is going to be a thorn in our sides for the next six months, just fair warning,” he stated with a head shake.
“No worries, Dad. We know how Mom is. We’ll manage just fine.”
“Good. Now, down to some business. I wanted to talk to you first now that Josh will have his hands full. I wanted to get your opinion on … my retirement.” Dad looked at me, waiting for my reaction.
“Well, Dad, it’s not like we didn’t know the time was coming. What do you need?” I asked, not entirely shocked. After all, Mom and Dad were both getting up there in age.
He leaned back in his office chair. “I want you boys to take over the shop.”
“Of course, Dad. We actually talked about this a while ago, figuring it was coming soon, and we have a plan in place. Not to worry, your baby will be in good hands with us.”
He let out a sigh, my comments obviously reassuring him.
“We can talk about the particulars later, but I wanted it on your radar, at any rate. And with a new baby coming, it might take up Josh’s time, so you and Danny will have to take up the slack.”
“You worry too much, old man. We’ve got it covered,” I replied, getting up from the chair.
“Oh, hey, you wouldn’t happen to remember anyone around here having a baby around the time I was finishing high school, would you?” I asked, hopeful he would remember something to help my search for Cassie’s parents.
“Hmm, I’d have to think about it, but off the top of my head, no. Your mother would be the better person to ask, though; she’s into all that gossip shit.”
“Good point. Anyway, I have to go finish the car I was working on. See you later.”
I gave Dad a hug then headed back to paint area, deciding to text Nilka.
I want to see you again tonight. Are you free?
I waited for her response before going back in to finish the car.
Sure. What do you want to do and what time?
Hmm, what should we do this time?
How about take-out and a movie at your place?
I hoped inviting myself over wasn’t too forward. However, sometimes, my house was too crowded.
Sure. See you at 7 p.m.
Excellent! Project ‘Win Nilka Back’ was in full swing.
See you then.
I put my phone down, grinning like a fool, and got back into the painting gear. It was going to be a long afternoon.
Chapter 12
Nilka
I had the day off work today, so I spent the time cleaning my house for Mark’s and my evening in. I finished in record time and started putting the finishing touches on myself, though nothing fancy since we were staying in, just some mascara and lip gloss. I had done my hair earlier in the day before Mark called, so it was pretty easy to get ready.
I went into the living room and was mentally doing a sweep through to make sure nothing was out of place when the doorbell rang. I went over and opened the door, expecting Mark, but instead, I was met by a man in a suit.
“Ms. Abdani?” he asked.
I saw Mark pull in my driveway just as I peered back at the man on my step.
“Yes, that’s me,” I replied suspiciously.
Mark came up beside me.
“Can I help y
ou?” he directed his question at the man.
“Sorry to interrupt, ma’am, but I am from the Egyptian Embassy. I was instructed to deliver this to you.” He handed me an envelope.
“I’m sorry for your loss, ma’am.” With that, he turned and walked away.
“My loss…?” I was confused.
Mark took the envelope from my hands and opened it since I was too stunned to process anything.
“Holy shit,” he whispered.
“What?”
Mark looked at me and swallowed. “It’s your parents, Nil.”
Unable to grasp the situation, I merely looked at him. “What about them?” I was so confused. “What loss?”
“Come in and we’ll talk.” He grabbed my hand and led me inside.
I sat down on the couch, and he sat beside me, lifting my chin up.
“Do you understand what happened?” he asked gently.
“Something about my parents and my loss. I don’t understand, Mark.” I looked at him, deep down knowing exactly what it meant.
“Oh, honey, the letter says your parents were killed in a car accident,” he stated softly, holding my face in his hands.
My reaction should be sadness, right? I mean, these were my parents we were talking about, the same people who had brought me into the world and given me a home and cared for me. Why didn’t I feel anything?
Mark waited patiently while I worked through my thoughts, being a reassuring presence beside me.
“The letter also states that your presence is requested in Egypt. As their only remaining relative, you need to handle all the arrangements.” He watched my face as the news sunk in.
“What!” I exclaimed. I hadn’t been back since I had the baby. Now I had to go back? Oh, my God, I couldn’t handle this.
As I got up abruptly and started pacing the living room, Mark watched me intently. Then I saw him take out his cell phone and text someone.
It all finally came crashing down on me, and I fell to my knees and sobbed. “What am I supposed to do?”
I wasn’t certain what exactly I was sobbing for. Was it my parents whom I’d had nothing but a struggling relationship with, or was it the fact that I had to go back to the country where my baby was buried?
Mark came over and kneeled beside me, wrapping his arms around me and rocking me. “It’ll be okay, sweetie. I’ll be with you every step of the way.”
“Oh, my God, this was supposed to be our date night. I’m so sorry it’s ruined,” I sobbed out to him.
“Hey, this is more important than any date night. You are far too important to me to worry about that. Let’s just sit and work through one thing at a time. Date night can wait. I’m not going anywhere,” he said in a soothing voice as he kissed my head.
Just then, the doorbell rang again, and I instantly felt tense. Like I needed any more bad news. Thankfully, Mark got up and answered the door for me, and all of our friends poured into my house.
I burst into tears as Lily and Nat came and sat with me on the floor.
“Mark sent out an emergency text. We’re all here for you, hon’,” Lily said as she hugged me hard. “I’m so sorry for your loss,” she whispered.
The guys stood around the table and listened to Mark as he told them what happened. I couldn’t bear to look at their sympathetic faces, so I got up and went to my room, closing the door behind me. I needed some space and time. I loved them all dearly, but I had never had this type of support before, and it was somewhat overwhelming.
I sat with my back against the door, and now that I had some space, I finally let out the gut-wrenching sobs I had been holding back. I grasped at my chest as I tried to drag in a breath, tears streaming down my face. My body was wracking with sobs, but at this point, I didn’t care who heard me; I couldn’t hold it in. This time, the sobs were for my parents along with my child. I had hoped one day my mom would tell me more, but now that would follow her to her grave, and I would never have complete closure with the death of my baby.
I heard Mark jiggling the handle of the door, trying to get me to let him in, but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t face any of them. I had been through this before, and I needed time. Alone time.
I could hear them talking and trying to get me to open the door, but it fell on deaf ears. I was so consumed with grief that I only lay by the door and sobbed until I passed out.
Chapter 13
Mark
Her sobs were killing me. All that stood between me and her was her stupid bedroom door. She was suffering through this by herself, and I wasn’t going to let her go through something like this alone again.
My brothers were all standing by, feeling as helpless as I was, so I looked back at them, pulling my hair.
“We have to do something. I can’t just stand by while she rips apart her soul in front of me. I won’t let it happen again.” I was so aggravated. I needed to get to her.
Daniel looked equally pained.
Lily finally chimed in with, “Why don’t you take off the door?”
We all looked at each other and then back at the door. Thankfully, this was the only door in her house that swung in the opposite direction, for space reasons, I assumed.
While Josh went out to his truck and got his tools I leaned my forehead against the door, listening to her panting.
“Just try to breathe normally, babe. In and out.” I was trying to get through to her from the other side of the door, but I had a feeling she wasn’t able to hear me.
My heart was ripping out of my body at her sobs; they were so gut-wrenching I could hardly stand it.
Josh came back in with his drill in his hand, and it took no time at all to remove the hinges, thank God. When the door was removed, Nilka was laying at the base of it. She had passed out from all the crying and maybe even the hyperventilating.
Josh and Daniel took the door to another room while I picked up Nilka and cradled her in my arms. I walked with her over to her bed and cuddled her up to me. She was out like a light. She looked drained, and it made my heart hurt for her.
I vowed to her and myself that I would be right there beside her throughout the whole thing. She would not be alone.
Daniel came into her room, looking just as hurt as I did.
“I need you to book a flight to her hometown in Egypt. It’s in the letter on the counter. I can’t pronounce it, but I need you to get us there,” I stated.
“Consider it done.” He walked out to the kitchen to get the ball rolling.
The girls came in next.
“What do you need from us?” Lily asked.
I thought for a few minutes. Nilka would probably hate me for doing this, but it needed to be done.
“Have a seat. There is something I need to tell you.”
They looked at me suspiciously, but it was something they needed to know. I didn’t want to put Nilka through it again, so I figured it would be best from me.
They sat on the ground around the bed where I was holding Nilka close to me while she slept.
“What I am about to tell you will come as a shock, but it needs to be said, and she will need all of our support over the next little while.” I paused before I started. This wasn’t easy for me, either.
“Did you know Nilka had a baby?”
The girls’ faces dropped in disbelief.
I told them everything she had told me, everything I had told my brothers. Lily gasped, and Natalie looked like she wanted to throw up, though I couldn’t say I blamed her. Rehashing the whole thing made me nauseous, as well.
“Who would do such a thing?” Lily’s breath hitched.
She was going to break down. I didn’t know if I could take another female crying, but thankfully, Shane heard her and came and took her out of the bedroom.
Natalie just looked at Nilka and then at me. “I am so sorry she went through that. I am sorry that you went through that recently, too. Whatever you need, let me know. I feel gutted knowing that happened to her. She deserves so much more.
” Silent tears streamed down her cheeks.
“I know she does, and I am going to ensure that she gets everything she deserves. She won’t want for anything. I promise that to you and to her.”
My eyes watered slightly as Natalie walked into Josh’s arms. He nodded in my direction, a silent communication of support, and it was all I needed.
Shane and Daniel ordered pizza, and then everyone left as soon as everything was in order, leaving Nilka and I alone.
She eventually woke up, disoriented, but when she saw me, she couldn’t hold her tears back. She sobbed into my chest as I held her close, rubbing her back. After several minutes, she stopped, seeming surprisingly calm. Then she looked up at me, her eyes slaying me. She looked so vulnerable and sad.
I simply caressed her face and gave her all the strength I could muster as she leaned into me.
“What are we going to do?” she asked quietly.
“Well, I’ve asked Daniel to make arrangements to get us to your parents in Egypt, so I guess that is step one. I want you to know I will be with you every step of the way.”
“Okay.” She hugged me back.
We lay in silence for quite some time before she spoke again.
“I’m not sure what I am more upset about: my parents or the fact that I have to go back there. It will remind me of everything that happened. I thought I had worked through it all, but I guess it all came crashing down.” She sounded deflated.
“It’s okay, baby. I’m here for you, no matter what.”
“Thanks for everything, Mark. It means a lot. I’m sorry I tried to shut you out; it’s what I am used to doing.”
“Anything, anytime, Nil.”
Just then, her stomach started to grumble.
“I had the boys order pizza if you’re up for it. It should be in the kitchen.”
“That sounds really good right now,” she said, getting up from the bed and stretching before she walked to the kitchen.
I took the moment to swipe my hands over my face. I planned to be strong for Nil, but who was going to be strong for me? I didn’t know what to expect when going to a foreign country or how I would feel once I got there, knowing it was the final resting place for my child.