by Jenn Leigh
Off to the side was a door that led to the small bathroom. The toilet had some sort of pull chain mechanism and seemed to be just a porcelain hole in floor, very old world, but it worked, nonetheless. I found that interesting. The shower was big enough for one person, barely. It was tiled in a mosaic pattern.
If anything, the space was very eclectic and quaint enough for people to be travelling through. It was clean, so at least that was a good sign that someone took care of the place.
I came out of the bathroom to see Nil lying down on one of the cots and Daniel quietly sitting at the table. He had brought over some paperwork with him to pass some of the time. Josh and Daniel were still hard at work, trying to find Cassie’s parents while I took time off to be with Nil during her time of need. Josh and Daniel kept me in the loop if anything came up, but it seemed that, every time we found a lead on Cassie’s parents, we came to a dead end. We were going to have to come to terms soon with the fact that maybe we wouldn’t be able to find them. She seemed well-adjusted with the Bennett’s and had made friends, and I thought we would always be in her life, whether we found her parents or not.
I went over to Nil, who had her eyes closed, and kneeled down next to her, brushing her hair off her face.
“Hey, how you doing?” I asked tenderly.
When she opened her eyes, I saw raw pain, and I knew she wasn’t handling this as well as she was letting on.
“Oh, baby, I know this is terribly hard for you. I wish I could help you more. What do you want me to do?”
She placed her hand against my cheek. “You’re doing it by being here,” she whispered. “I just didn’t think it would consume me as much as it does now. I still remember the smell of the dirt, the essence of this place. It’s taking me back to a deep, dark place, but I think I just need to ride it out”
Although my heart hurt for her, there was nothing I could do except offer my support. I lay down behind her and pulled her into me as we lay in silence, the only sounds coming from outside and Daniel turning over pages periodically.
I wasn’t sure whether she was asleep, thinking there was too much on her mind to fall asleep. It would ultimately be exhaustion that took her over the edge, and I could only offer my silent strength as comfort. I pulled her tighter to me, and she didn’t resist.
Several hours later, I was startled awake. Nil was still tucked into me, and Daniel had fallen asleep at the table, his head over his forearm. He’s going to pay for that later.
I didn’t know what awakened me, but it must have been the middle of the night by then.
I untangled myself from Nil then headed over to the window where I saw some older men standing around. They didn’t seem overly suspicious, but I headed over to the door, anyway, to make sure it was locked. Foreigners could be easy targets for unsavory locals. I made sure the door and windows were locked tight, but then I found myself wide awake.
Stupid jet lag.
There was a small fridge in the kitchenette, and I noticed it was stocked with bottled water. The temperature seemed to have cooled down slightly, which was probably a saving grace over here in Egypt.
I unscrewed the cap and took a long swig then walked over to Daniel and poked him in the arm. He jolted up, scaring both him and me from his reaction.
“Holy fuck, don’t do that,” Daniel said sleepily with a scowl. Then he marched over to his cot and promptly fell back asleep.
Must be nice.
I sat down in Daniel’s spot at the table and decided to start going through the documents he had spread out over the table.
I spent the next several hours going through paper after paper, but like so many times before, I came to a dead end. All we could come up with was that, at one time, her parents had lived in Edgewood or potentially lived here. The more and more we went through the documents, the more and more suspicious I became of the information I was given from Cassie. I thought someone might have tricked her into going there, leading her on a wild goose chase. The question was, why?
I rubbed my face and scratched the back of my neck. I was so completely engrossed in what I was doing that I didn’t see Nilka approach and sit across from me at the table until she cleared her throat.
I looked up and immediately smiled at her. She looked much more rested, and I wished I could say the same for me. Jet lag was finally starting to get to me.
Nilka smirked at me. “You look like you could use some coffee.”
I laughed. “What I need is a caffeine IV drip.”
We both chuckled.
Daniel walked in, looking better rested than I did.
Bastard.
“You find anything interesting in the documents?” Daniel asked, pointing his finger at the stack of papers.
“Not really. It’s getting frustrating,” I breathed out heavily.
“Well, no sense stewing on it. Artub should be here any moment to take you to the clinic where your parents were treated. There is some paperwork that needs to be completed before the morgue will release the bodies to you. At least that’s what this letter states,” Daniel remarked.
I looked over at Nil, and I could see her visibly tense up again. It was going to be a long ten days.
Chapter 18
Nilka
I dreaded having to do this. Thank goodness Mark and Daniel were there with me. I didn’t think I would have the strength to be there on my own.
We were sitting in a clinic that really looked more like a small hospital. Artub was interrupted by a nurse, and he excused himself from us.
We took a seat in the waiting room where I looked around at my surroundings. The place looked quite modern and fairly new. There were lots of nurses and orderlies running around. I found myself wondering what kind of care people received here. Was it an emergency facility or a bit of everything?
It didn’t take long for Artub to come back to us.
“Sorry, patients needed assessments signed,” he explained.
We just smiled and nodded.
“We are very proud of our clinic. The community raised a lot of money to be able to have this facility, so we serve the community in any capacity we can. It’s mostly a walk-in clinic, but we do have some emergency services and a long-term care area for the elderly,” He explained as we walked down the halls to an area that was less for patients and more for staff.
Artub headed to a door on the right side of the hall, and we followed as he unlocked the door. We stepped into a small, sparsely decorated office, but it had a few chairs and a table to the side. We all pulled out chairs and waited for Artub to start talking.
“Again, I am sorry for your loss. Your parents were well known in the community, and they spoke very highly of you,” Artub stated.
I was dumbfounded. Hmmm … Proud, huh? They had a funny way of showing it.
“The details of their accident are in this report, which I have provided translated copies. I’ll give you a few minutes to review it, and I’ll be sure to have copies made for you to take home.” Artub handed over the document.
I opened it up over the table so Mark and Daniel could look, as well. It didn’t really say anything different from what I had been told. Thankfully, there were no photos, only diagrams showing where the injuries had been. I didn’t think I would have been able to stomach seeing that. The diagrams made it less personal. It seemed that both of them died pretty quickly, which was a relief to me. At least they hadn’t suffered.
After reviewing the documents, Mark and Daniel asked the appropriate questions on my behalf. Then more paperwork was placed on the table in front of me, all for signatures, of course. I was on autopilot. I wasn’t even certain what I signed, but I was sure Mark wouldn’t have let me sign anything without checking things out first.
My parents will, or what would be considered a will in Egypt, was read. Thank goodness the embassy had arranged for all the documents to be sent to Artub prior to my arrival. I didn’t think I could take travelling from one city to another just to sign m
ore documents.
I skimmed the documents, and when I came across the cemetery name, I just about lost my cookies. I visibly paled, and Daniel looked at me, alarmed.
“Nil, are you okay?”
I couldn’t answer back. I felt all the blood drain out of my body as I started to feel really tired and weak.
“Nil, baby, can you hear me?”
The next thing I knew, I felt myself slowly waking up.
“Wh-What happened?” I asked groggily.
“You passed out, so I had Mark move you to one of our patient beds,” Artub stated as he checked my vitals.
I rubbed my hands over my face, remembering why I had passed out.
“What happened, Nil?” Mark asked gently.
“I was reading the information on the cemetery where my parents want to be buried and realized I recognized the name. They are being buried in the same cemetery as our baby. I have this sinking suspicion that they will be buried right in the same area. I think our family had a plot there that is meant for all relatives,” I stated flatly.
Daniel gasped slightly and shared a look with Mark, who also looked slightly pale. Daniel placed his hand on Mark’s shoulder as a sign of comfort.
When Artub looked at us questioningly, I realized belatedly that my parents probably had never told a soul about our baby.
I took a deep breath and told Artub in the shortest form possible. He didn’t need to know all the details, just that I had a baby here when I was younger and that it passed away after birth.
“Hmm ... As the town’s head physician then and now, I think I would have remembered such a thing happening to your family, but I have no recollection of an infant dying during that time.” Artub scratched his head, perplexed.
I looked back a Mark, who was also confused.
“My parents took me to this cemetery once the baby had been buried. They brought me to the cross where the baby was, and it was freshly dug. I assume it’s in our family plot there.” I started getting slightly agitated.
“Nilka, I mean you no disrespect about your loss,” Artub tried to smooth over the situation. “I just don’t remember anything about it, but when we go to the cemetery, we’ll be able to see the plot.”
All through this conversation, both Daniel and Mark stayed fairly quiet, though I could tell the wheels in Mark’s head were turning.
“I have to go check on another patient. I’ll give you a few minutes to relax, and then you’ll be free to go. Your fainting was just a response to stress and probably lack of proper food. I’ll have the nurse bring some snacks in for you.” Artub left us in the room. .
We sat quietly for a few minutes before the nurse walked in with some snacks, stuff we weren’t really familiar with. We stuck with what came in sealed packages.
“I’m really worried to see that plot tomorrow. What if I can’t handle it?” I voiced my worry out loud.
Daniel was the first to answer. “I’m here for both of you. This won’t be easy, and I understand that. I have no expectations of how you are to act. If you both feel you need time to fall apart, just know that you have each other and me to help you through it.”
We both looked at Daniel, and then I got off the bed and walked over to him, grabbing him in a tight hug. I whispered thanks in his ear as he hugged me back. When I released him, we were ready to get out of the clinic and head over to my parents’ house.
Artub met us in the lobby on our way out, and he handed over a few other documents, mostly copies of things we had already gone over. The rest were pertaining to my parents’ house and banking information, etc. He also told us he would meet us at the cemetery tomorrow to help us navigate our way to the family plot. Mark and I thanked him then headed off to the car where Ahlie was waiting patiently for our return.
We directed Ahlie to take us to my parents’ house so we could begin the task of going through things, mostly to decide what to keep and what to give away. I knew my parents had some photos of me, so I would like to be able to take those back home with whatever other small keepsakes I could find.
The area of their home was definitely not rolling in the money, but it wasn’t poverty-stricken, either. Most homes were modest in varying forms. My parents weren’t well off, but the house was theirs outright, so that had been something in their eyes.
We pulled up, and it instantly brought back unwanted memories. I really hadn’t planned on being back.
I took a deep breath as Mark and Daniel exited the car. I opened my door then met Mark at the edge of the property. He was staring at the place in silence, but I knew he was torn into knots on the inside. This was the first time for him, while I had lived through it
I slid my hand into his, and he looked down at me, trying to put on a brave face, but he was failing at it. I rubbed my thumb over his then led the way into the house, using the key from the package Artub had given us, with Daniel following behind.
The house was all on one floor, and nothing had changed. My parents had a lot of culturally appropriate decorations: lots of carved ornaments, lots of yellow-accented furniture, and stuff with lots of patterns. The table settings were very ornate, as well, exotic looking with gold accents.
Daniel whistled as we walked through, almost like it was a museum. I didn’t want to touch anything, hoping if I didn’t, they would come back.
I stopped walking when we came to the room that was around the corner from the kitchen, the place that I was mostly holed up in during my pregnancy. The room across the hall was where I had the baby.
Mark took in my appearance and grabbed my hand to show his support, and I squeezed it in return.
I pointed to my old room. “This was my room while I was here.” I moved forward and opened the door.
Nothing had changed in here, either. My bed was still in the same place against the wall with a nightstand beside it. A small dresser was across the room. There wasn’t much in the way of decorations.
I walked over to the nightstand and opened the drawer. I had kept a small journal, which was still there, although I was positive my parents had gone through it after I had left. As I grabbed it from the drawer and sat down on my bed, hugging the journal to my chest, Mark and Daniel silently watched.
“This was my only outlet.” I turned to face Mark. “I wrote to you every day in here.”
Mark came across the room and crouched down in front of me. “I thought of you every day you were gone. I didn’t know why you left. It was so sudden. I drove everyone back home crazy. I tried to figure out why you left, and when I couldn’t, I became really … bitchy. Just ask Daniel.” He smirked at his antics.
“Oh, God, Nil. It was probably good you weren’t around. You would have kicked his ass for being ... an ass.” Daniel smiled in return.
Mark grabbed my hands. “If I had known what was happening, I would have been here. I wouldn’t have let you go through that alone.” He stared into my eyes, willing me to understand.
“I know. I don’t blame you at all for what happened. It’s just a lot to process. I want you to hold on to this book for safekeeping. I want it, but I also want you to be able to read it. It will allow you to know everything. I know that neither of us are ready to go there right now, but know that we have it, and we can revisit it together or separately,” I told him as I handed over the journal.
“I think we should go through it together. It will be healing for both of us,” Mark offered.
I nodded then got up from the bed and left the room behind. The next room was probably the one where I would break down. I walked in front of the closed door and took some deep breaths before I opened it.
Mark wrapped his arms around my waist and leaned down to whisper in my ear, “I’ve got you, no matter what.” He kissed my neck.
The inside was exactly as a remembered it: bare linoleum floor with a mattress off to the side, a small nightstand with a wash bowl on it, and a tiny closet. I walked into the middle of the room with Mark by my side and Daniel standing at the d
oor. Daniel was taking in the sights with a look of disbelief on his face, keeping his thoughts to himself.
Mark again wrapped his arms around my waist. I thought he realized my breathing had become erratic.
“It’s okay, Nil. I’ve got you.”
I couldn’t stop the loud, ugly sob from coming out. Mark tightened his grip as my body couldn’t control the sobs tearing through me. My legs got weak, but Mark held firm as my sobs broke into the ugly cry while tears streamed down my face.
Mark lowered us to our knees as I let my grief overcome me, and I barely recognized that my shoulder was also wet. I managed to turn to face Mark, grabbing his face and pressing his forehead to mine. Then we both cried for our loss as we held each other.
After several moments, we both calmed down yet still remained holding each other. Mark tipped my head down and kissed my forehead. We both let go, and he wiped my tears with his thumb and leaned in to kiss my lips. Finally, we both got up and turned out of the room.
As Daniel closed the door behind us, he looked visibly upset, so I grabbed his hand when I passed by him and gave it a squeeze. He looked grateful for the connection, and I smiled at him, even though it was teary on my part.
A soft knock could be heard at the front door, which Daniel left to answer.
Ahlie had a few boxes in his hands to help us get started. Daniel thanked him and started to unfold them.
“Where do you want to start?”
I thought for a few minutes. “I am not going to want any furniture, and out of the two rooms that we were just in, I already took the journal I wanted. I guess we can start in the kitchen. However, I don’t think there is anything in there that I would want. We can just pack up stuff for donation.”
We spent the next several hours going through the house. There wasn’t much left to do. All that was left was my parents’ bedroom, but I wanted to save that for last. It would be hard enough.
Daniel called for Ahlie, and we went back to the hostel for the remainder of the evening.