by R. S. Owl
I work for a PR firm downtown – in the Loop, more specifically. When we met, I was at my boss’ place working on a pitch for a new client.
I love animals, but don’t have any. I love sushi and Italian food. I’m obsessed with reality television (I know I’m not supposed to admit that, but it’s junk food for the brain and I can’t get enough of it.) My favorite drink is a vodka gimlet (yes, I might secretly be an 80-year-old man inside). I hate the color pink. I run every single day, even when it’s raining. Even when it’s ten below (although, admittedly on a treadmill). It keeps me sane. I prefer the bus to the train. I’m not claustrophobic, but I hate the idea of getting stuck underground.
Ok, enough about me. Your turn.
Bree
***
Friday, 8:54pm
Whoa. Ok, not what I expected, you really upped the ante. Here’s mine, for what it’s worth:
I’m 31. Liberal, but hate discussing politics. Why that’s the first thing I put down, I have no idea. My favorite meal is a huge steak. I’m big into Paleo and CrossFit – yes, I know that’s totally cliché, but since starting both, I’ve never felt better. I grew up in Wisconsin and went to UW-Madison. I moved down to Chicago after school and never left. I’m actually a veterinarian, so the fact that I have a dog that knocked you down is extra embarrassing. My parents still live in Wisconsin, as does my little sister, Becca. She was a surprise baby and is 12 years younger than me, so I was an only child for the majority of my childhood.
I love Radiohead and NPR. I’m pretty sure I’ve listened to every episode of Radiolab. I ride my bike to work. Even in the rain. Even when it’s ten below. I love hiking and five of the last eight vacations I took were to national parks. I’m a whiskey guy. I don’t watch much television, but when I do, it’s usually HBO. I hate crowds, but love Chicago street festivals. I have a membership to the Art Institute, but I never go. Lots of contradictions, apparently.
Pink isn’t my favorite color either. I love your eyes.
Liam
PS. My friends might kill me for spending so much time on my phone, but I don't care. I'd like to know more about this 80-year-old man living inside of you.
***
Friday, 11:14pm
Well, your friends are in luck, because it’s past Jack’s bedtime. You know Jack – the 80-year-old man that's inhabited my body? Seriously, go be with your friends. I hope you have a great night.
Looking forward to chatting more tomorrow. :)
xo
Bree
***
Friday, 11:22pm
Sweet dreams, Bree. Until tomorrow.
Liam
CHAPTER 4
Saturday, 7:26am
Good morning, angel. I just got back from a run. I definitely don't run as much as you, but I wanted to get a workout in before the day became a scorcher. I hope you slept well and dreamt of me. Too much? I'm willing to take that risk.
So tell me more about Jack. What other kind of trouble does he get you into? Cigars? Strippers? Early bird specials?
Liam
***
Saturday, 9:23am
Well, you definitely have that CrossFit gene. How you got up early on a Saturday and ran AND went out with your buddies last night is beyond me. I'm still nursing my coffee – and Jack and I stayed in last night.
Can I interject here for a moment and say how much I appreciate your grasp of the English language and that you can spell? This has most definitely not been the norm, but I'm afraid if you had offended my nerdish sensibilities, this may have been over before it started. I'm a grammar snob and you should know that going in.
So, Jack. Yeah, he's a horrible influence. No cigars, but he's definitely a big flirt. Unlike me. The jerk is asking for you to send a picture. Please don't blame me. I'm at his mercy.
Bree (and Jack)
***
Saturday, 11:14am
He certainly is a demanding old bugger. Photo is attached. Hopefully this will replace the picture of horror on my face as I watched my dog mow you down.
Grammar snob. Noted.
Why do I feel like I'm getting to know you better than I would have if we'd gone on four dates?
Liam
PS. I see I lost the "xo" – how do I get it back?
PPS. Can you please ask Jack to take a picture of you and send it my way?
***
Saturday, 11:42am
Jack is a horrible photographer, but photo is attached.
Honestly, I'm not sure if you would have gotten to know me this well on ten dates. Since we're putting it all out there, I don't date a lot and I don't open up to too many people. I mean, I'm in PR and writing is a part of my job, so I suppose it only makes sense that I'm more comfortable in this forum. Plus, you're pretty easy to "talk" to.
Thanks for the picture. I know we met, but it's still nice not to have to rely on my semi-concussed memory. ;)
I hate to do this, but I have to go meet one of my girlfriends for lunch and a movie, so it might take me some time to respond.
xo
Bree
PS. I love your eyes, too.
***
Saturday, 11:53am
I want to hear your voice. When you're free later, can you call me? My number is 312.555.1524.
Liam
CHAPTER 5
Liam
Saturday, 6:14pm
Bree: Hi, Liam. It’s Bree.
Liam: Hi, angel.
Bree: I completely forgot, but I'm meeting my parents for dinner. Chat later?
Liam: Sounds perfect. What's a good time?
Bree: Well, I'm sure you're going out with your friends...why don't you call me when you get in tonight? I don't care how late it is. I can sleep in tomorrow. :)
Liam: I have an early flight, so we won't be out too late. I'll call you later.
“Dude, you finally ready to go?” My friend Hayden popped his head around the door just as I finished my text to Bree. “Seriously, you’ve been on that thing all day. And wipe that goofy grin off your face. You are not coming out with us if you’re going to look like that all night.”
“Hayd, if I could, I’d stay in all night just to email or text back and forth with her. No joke.”
“Wow. So this is really serious, huh?”
“Considering I met her a week ago and have been talking to her for less than forty-eight hours? Yeah, this is serious. This is it. She’s it for me.”
“Shit.” He just stared at me with a dazed look on his face.
“Shit’s right.”
“Well, this calls for a drink. Lots of ‘em. Let’s go.”
Hayden and two of our buddies from school, Trent and Jackson, were all living in Austin, so I tried to get down at least once a year to hang out with them. Soon enough, things would change. Hayden and Trent were both engaged and each getting married in the next few months. Jackson and his girlfriend, Kayla, had been together since undergrad and were heading down that road as well. This was likely our last weekend with it being just the four of us without girlfriends and wives. A week ago, I would have said I was far, far away from going that route. Now, I wasn’t so sure.
We headed out to one of their favorite neighborhood spots, Contigo. It was exactly the kind of place you thought of when you thought of Austin – rustic, open-air restaurant. Wood tables, benches, strung lights, music and lots of laughter. I could see why the guys loved this place so much. We were seated outside and got our drinks. I took my time looking over the menu for dinner, since I knew as soon as we ordered, I was going to be in the hot seat.
“Ok, spill it,” Trent said. “Take all the time you need with that menu. If you think we’re waiting any longer, you’ve clearly forgotten that we don’t give a shit if you’re uncomfortable. Talk.”
“What he said,” Jackson chimed in, his eyes firmly on the menu.
“Ok, so here’s the deal.” I took a sip of my beer while all of them just sat there, waiting for me to continue. “I was walking B
rutus last weekend and his leash slipped out of my hand. He’s all puppy legs and full of energy and he just took off. All 92 pounds of him. I could see him heading straight for this gorgeous brunette and all I could do was watch helplessly as he took her down.
I ran over to her, helped her up and literally felt like I was back in junior high trying to ask a girl to go to a dance with me. I could barely get two words out. I don’t know how long we were standing there just staring at each other, but then all of a sudden, her friend opened the door of the building we were in front of and she ran off. That was it.”
“What do you mean that was it? So how are you talking to her now?”
“Well, that’s where it starts to get a little weird.”
“So, what can I get you guys to eat?” Our waitress interrupted. I was more than grateful for the breather. Explaining the rest of it to them was sure to get me some shit. Maybe more than I was prepared to handle. After we placed our orders, they were right back on me.
“Ok. Weird? How?” Trent asked.
“So, what do you guys know about Craigslist?”
“Craigslist? Dude, like the Craigslist Killer? That shit is fucked up!” Jackson said, shaking his head back and forth. “No, no, no. Nothing good can come from Craigslist and relationships.”
“Let him talk, Jax. This is Liam. Of the four of us, he’s by far the most logical. Dude, continue,” Hayden added.
“Ok, so after she ran off, I just assumed I’d forget about her. Hours later I still couldn’t get her out of my head. So I took a chance and posted in their Missed Connections section. It’s where people try to reconnect with someone they met or saw, but for whatever reason, they didn’t exchange information. Anyway, I posted. She answered. And now, I’m even more gone. Seriously, this girl is perfect.”
“What do you know about her? How do you know she’s not crazy?” That was Jackson, the most skeptical of the four of us.
“Look, none of this is going to make sense and I’m not even going to try to convince you guys. Bottom line is this: if I had to wager everything I owned on whether or not this girl is the one – right here, right now – I’d wager yes. Nothing about this makes sense. I fully admit that. But trust me, she’s it.”
They all sat there in silence. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what was going through their heads. I’d always been the responsible one. The most level-headed. The most practical. This was definitely a departure for me and a massive one at that.
“Well, I think we all know what it’s like to know when you’ve found the one. Even if our stories were more conventional, when you know, you know,” Hayden said. “Congratulations, buddy. Welcome to the club.”
CHAPTER 6
Liam
We'd just gotten back from Contigo and after a few hours of taking shit from my buddies about Bree, I was more than ready to talk to her.
Liam: Ok time to call?
Bree: Yep, perfect.
I didn't even care to try explaining all of this to myself anymore. I just knew that I needed to talk to her. I pressed her name on my phone. It rang only once.
“Hi there.”
“Hi, angel. It's nice to hear your voice.”
“Ditto.” She sighed. “So, how was your night?”
“It was great, but I'll probably never live this weekend down. All I could think about and talk about was you.”
“I'm not sure if I should be honored or offer my apologies.” She laughed.
“God, you have the sexiest laugh.”
Silence.
“I'm sorry, Bree. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable...”
“No, no, you didn't. I'm just not as good verbally as I am in writing. I tend to get tongue-tied.”
“Look, I know this whole thing hasn't been normal, so why start now? The truth is, I like you. A lot. I don't know how we got here, but I promise I will never play games. If you're uncomfortable, tell me. If you're tongue-tied, tell me. If you want to rip my clothes off, tell me. That last part was a joke – sort of.” I laughed.
I could hear her take a deep breath, like she was preparing to say something.
“You're right. I can't explain it, but I'm tongue-tied and more comfortable than I've ever been with a guy, all at the same time. I'm not a game player either. My parents are very straightforward people and raised me to be the same. I like you too. A lot.”
“Ok, so now that we have that settled, why don't you tell me your most vivid childhood memory?”
“Oh, ok.” She laughed. “Hmm, let's see...” And she began to tell me about the time she broke her leg on a swing set when she was four.
We talked for over two hours. Going back and forth with stories of our childhoods, college days, travels and hobbies. When I could hear her starting to get sleepy, I decided to call it a night.
“Angel, you're about to fall asleep on me. Not that I would ever turn that down, but why don't you get some sleep and I'll see you tomorrow?”
“Nope,” she said, her voice becoming a bit gravely and altogether too sexy, “I'm good. Let's keep talking.”
“You know, your voice is incredibly sexy, but it's even more so when you're half asleep.”
“Hmmm, realllly? Is that a fact?” She flirted.
“Yes, that's a fact.”
“How sexy?”
I wasn't sure where she was going with this, but it was quickly becoming clear that we weren't going to be hanging up any time soon.
“So sexy that I've been hard for the past hour. Is that honest enough for you?”
“Hmmm, I like that,” she purred.
“Do you like knowing what you're doing to me? Do you like knowing that I'm hard because of you?”
“I do,” she said quietly and then became silent again.
“Bree, we don't have to do anything you don't want to do. If you want to hang up, I'll wish you sweet dreams. If you want to stay on the phone and explore this, I'm here. It's all up to you.”
“Ok.”
“Ok? Ok, hang up or ok, explore?”
“Ok, explore. Um, but can I just say I've never done anything like this before? You said to tell you when I'm nervous and while I'm sort of nervous, I'm also extremely turned on. I want this,” she said in one long rush of breath.
“Just relax, angel. I got you and we're in this together, ok?”
“Ok.”
“So, tell me – are you wet?”
“I think so...”
“Well, let's find out shall we? First of all, what’re you wearing?”
“A white tank top and black boy shorts.”
“God, you're killing me. All right. I want you to reach your hand down, slip it into your panties and tell me how wet you are.”
“Ok...”
I heard the rustle of sheets as her hand made its descent.
“Mmm, I'm so wet, Liam.”
“Oh, baby, that's good. Put me on speakerphone and put the phone on the pillow next to you. You're going to need both hands for this.”
“Done.”
“Now I want you to take your panties off. Can you do that for me?”
“Yes,” she whispered and then, “They're off.”
“Good, now do exactly as I tell you. I want you to only touch yourself where and when I tell you.”
I could hear her breathing start to get heavier. She liked being told what to do. I liked that – a lot.
“The first thing I want you to do is take your hand and slide it along your stomach, under your tank top and up to your tits. I want you to gently massage each one until your nipples are hard.”
She started to moan. Sensitive breasts. God, I wished I were there in bed with her.
“Good girl. When they're hard, pull on each nipple until they're pushing against your tank top. I want you to feel them rubbing against the fabric while your fingers are deep in your pussy – but not until I tell you to put them there.”
More moans. Thank God she liked a dirty talker.
“Oh, baby, those moan
s are making my cock so hard. I'm stroking it and it's starting to drip for you. Do you like knowing that?”
“Oohhh, yes. Yes, I love knowing that. Can I please touch myself?”
“Asking permission. I like that. Since you asked so nicely, I won't make you wait. Take one hand and slowly trace it down your stomach. I want you to stop just before you get to your pussy. Can you do that? No touching until I tell you.”
“I'm there,” she said breathlessly.
“Now, take two fingers and gently touch your clit.”
She let out a loud moan.
“Ah, yeah, right there, baby. Ok, now I want you to start moving in little circles around your clit. Is it sensitive, angel? Is it swelling for me?”
“Oh, God, yes. It's so swollen.”
“That's what I want to hear. Tell me, baby, are you still pulling and rubbing your nipples? I didn't tell you to stop.”
“Ungh, yes. They're so hard and so sensitive. Can I please put my fingers inside? Please?”
“Not yet, baby. Your clit needs a little more attention right now and just the thought of sucking on that beautiful, swollen pussy of yours is making me even harder.”
She was making these whimpers that went straight to my balls and I couldn't wait to come.
“Ok, angel, I want you to do me a favor. I want you to speed up those little circles you're making on your clit.” Her breathing began to increase and I knew she was getting closer. “That's it, baby. That's it.”
She continued to whimper and I knew it was time.
“Such a good girl. As your reward, I want you to take your hand off your breast and slowly take one, but only one, finger and slide it inside of you. Do it. Now.”