What We'll Leave Behind

by Len Webster

  Then Julian pulled them down along with her underwear. It was slow. Inch by inch, the material skimmed along her thighs and off her ankles.

  Oh, God, I’m naked.

  Well, almost naked.

  The top doesn’t match the bottom.

  With a heavy exhale, Stevie sat up, pulled her shirt off, and let it fall on the bed. Reaching behind her, she unclasped her light-pink bra, and allowed it to follow her shirt. Julian’s eyes wandered over her naked body. Hunger didn’t consume his blues eyes. Instead, they appreciated and loved the sight of her.

  “Then let me be yours,” she whispered.

  Julian got off the bed and removed his shirt. Then he stripped himself of his shorts and underwear. He stood bare. Her eyes lingering over his hardness, wondering how he’d fit inside her. He was large. Significantly larger than any man she had seen naked.

  His body covered hers in seconds, his lips on hers. His tongue explored the inside of her mouth. When she felt him at her entrance, she moaned. Knowing it would hurt the first time, she didn’t care. She wanted it; she wanted him.

  Closing her eyes, she moved her hips against him and felt the pleasure tingle up her spine. Beautiful, toe-curling pleasure.

  “Are you sure?” he asked against her mouth.

  “Yes,” she breathed. “Please, Julian. I want you this way. Inside me.”

  One of his big hands cupped the side of her face and the other was on her ass cheek. Stevie’s eyes fluttered opened and she saw him staring at her. The palm he had on her cheek moved as he held himself, and she felt the tip of him touch her.

  “I’m sorry,” he apologised softly before he slowly entered her.

  She felt her muscles almost try to reject him. There was a pinching pain as he stretched her. But Stevie refused to let her eyes cover the sight of him tensing as he continued to gently push inside her. Then she felt him stop. His thumb brushed just above where they connected. A moan slipped before he thrust hard into her, breaking her barrier and the pain caused her to let out a strangled cry.

  Uncomfortable, searing heat burned inside her. The fear and concern that washed over his eyes had Stevie grabbing his face and saying, “I’m yours, Julian. Never forget that.”

  Julian nodded, and his thumb made circular movements before he pulled out. She took this moment, just as he entered her for the second time, to close her eyes, let her lips part, and breathe out an, “I love you,” that was muted by his groans.

  Never will I love anyone like I love you, Julian.

  “Stephanie,” Julian mumbled into her hair.

  Stevie opened her eyes.

  Clothes everywhere.

  Bed sheets a mess.

  Skin on naked skin.

  The Thai sun burning inches of her exposed body.

  “No,” she whispered. Then she gently moved Julian’s arm, which had been wrapped around her. She sat up slowly, trying to avoid waking him. When she looked down, she saw a peaceful look on his face. The urge to brush his hair back was strong, but she refrained from doing so.

  As she gazed around the room, she came to terms with what had happened. They had had sex twice. The first time had been painful at first. The second had been mind blowing. Never had she believed she could feel so emotional towards someone. Somewhere between it all, her confession that she loved him had fallen on deaf ears.

  “I don’t know anything about you, Julian,” she whispered. “How can I love someone I don’t know?”

  He exhaled.

  She loved that exhale.

  Stevie stared at the ‘S’ tattooed on his chest, her eyes following the curve of the letter. The panging sensation in her heart had her struggling for air. It was all irrational. They were irrational. How she felt and how she loved him was irrational.

  “I can’t elope with you. I’m sorry,” she said in a soft voice. Then she leant down and placed a kiss on his temple. When she moved away, she let her fingers relish the feel of his hair one more time. “I love you, and maybe someday you’ll forget me or forgive me for what I’m about to do to you.”

  Carefully, she got off the bed and proceeded to pick her clothes up off the floor. Once she was dressed, she glanced back at Julian sleeping. A memory for the vault. Then she went to the bedroom door and took a deep breath. Once she had left the room, she hurriedly tiptoed through the lounge room towards the front door.

  When she reached the entrance, she didn’t hesitate. She quickened her steps down the path that led to the beach until she hit the white sand. From the corner of her eye, she noticed the sun starting to rise. For one second, she stopped and watched it. For that one second, she let herself believe she was returning to him. The truth was that she wasn’t. She’d pack her bags and return to Melbourne.

  And so it goes.

  Back to reality.

  Everything I do now is after him.

  I leave behind everything.

  My everything.

  Stevie’s eyelids fluttered closed, and she took a deep breath to contain the tears that were threatening to spill. When she opened her eyes, she glanced out at the water for one last time and whispered to herself, “This is what we’ll leave behind.”

  Almost four years later

  Julian stood by the kitchen window and stared out the glass panels. It was still early in the morning in Scarsdale, New York. But like every morning since he’d discovered them, he would watch over them. He’d act as their lookout. But they wouldn’t need it. All Noel and Clara would do was sit on the step and stare at the sunrise. Then one of them would leave the other and return to their pretend life.

  But this morning was different. This morning, Clara kissed Noel, and Julian smiled at the sight. But he knew how much it was killing them both inside. They had once been together, but circumstances had torn them apart. Now, they were in different relationships, and Julian knew how hard they had tried to keep faithful to their respected partners. It was a chaste kiss, and then Clara walked back into the house.

  Keeping his focus on Noel, Julian couldn’t help but envy his best friend. Noel hadn’t given up. He kept fighting for Clara even though she was more off-limits to him than ever before. Noel’s determination was what he wanted.

  It had been almost four years since he’d woken up alone in his Thai villa without Stephanie. She had left sometime after they had made love. When Julian had woken to discover the room empty, he had searched for her. But she had vanished. For a week, he’d tried to find for her, but she had left him behind. All she had left in the villa was her copy of To Kill a Mockingbird.

  If Noel doesn’t stop fighting for Clara, then I can’t give up on Stephanie.

  One day.

  I’ll find her again someday.

  Julian looked up at the sun shining through the window and nodded to himself. “I’m going to find you, Stephanie. I’m never going to give up. One day, I’ll find you and have you fall in love with me again.”

  Footsteps echoing in the kitchen had him turning around. Julian had expected Noel, but instead, his brother, Rob, walked in holding his phone to his ear. Julian rolled his eyes at his brother. Rob had been obsessing over some girl back in Melbourne. He was as whipped as Dean was over Willa, the two now expecting a son. But for Julian, as soon as he was done in New York, he’d return to his job in Sydney—the same job he had picked up after his return from Thailand.

  Julian turned back around and stared at the sun. It wasn’t as bright or as beautiful as the one he’d watch rise and set with Stephanie, but it gave him hope.

  “Stevie, I’m sure… Yes… I can’t stop thinking about our kiss… No, I won’t tell Noel or Clara… Okay. We’ll have dinner as soon as I get back,” Rob said, still on the phone.

  Digging his hand into his pocket, Julian took out the same Thai coin he had shared with her. Then he tossed the coin to see it land on heads.

  “I’m all in, Blondie. I’ve always been all in,” he whispered before he placed the coin back in his pocket, determined to see her again.
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br />   No amount of white sand or distance could bury their past.

  Some things are just never meant to be forgotten.

  When Julian Moors returned from Thailand he left behind all his belongings, his father and only brother in Melbourne and moved to Sydney. One girl shattered his world and left him with more questions than answers.

  Behind the persona, Stevie Appleton tries to outrun her past. Nightmares and memories have started to collide, putting her future and her heart at risk. No one can know the secrets she tries to keep locked away, even if it means betraying the people she loves the most.

  Everyone has a story but not everyone has a past quite like Stevie and Julian.

  When they meet years later, don’t expect a happy ending. The past holds skeletons and not even these skeletons can be buried.

  ____

  Continue Stevie and Julian’s story in What You Left Behind.

  August 6th, 2015.

  Writing dedications are always the toughest part of writing/publishing a book. I can never do them with enough justice. So like always, I’m winging it and hope that my gratitude is expressed with a lot of love.

  Always first, I’d like to thank my parents and my siblings. Without your love and support, I’d have an office job that I’d hate. But you all let me be free and to explore my love of writing. Thank you for being the first people I see every morning and the last I see every night. I love you all so much.

  Jaycee Ford and Alex Rosa, I met you both in person for the first time in May after two years of some awesome best friendship. My life is better with you both in it. I seriously wouldn’t be the author that I am without you both. Thank you for every memory we’ve had and for all the memories we’re about to have. Piña Verde, Gin and Tonic, and Whiskey!

  And always, Danielle Woodside. A million thank yous are still not enough. I am very luck to have you in my life. I am very lucky to have been blessed with your friendship. Someday, I’ll see you. And someday, we can cry together. And then I can tell you off in person! Okay, Woodside?

  Mickey Reed, thank you. Your edits helped me become a better author. It also made me realise I make some really silly mistakes. Thank you for being an amazing editor and for being a wonderful person.

  Najla Qamber, do you have any idea how crazy talented you are? I don’t even have to tell you what I want anymore. You just do it. And you do it with a lot of love. And for that I respect you highly. I am so fortunate to have you design my beautiful covers and for your friendship.

  Jenny Sims, I have no words for you. You came in my time of need and rescued me. You’re always there when I need you. And this year, not only were you my proofreader but also my friend during a hard time in my life. When my spirits were down, you were there. Thank you so much.

  Erin Spencer, I always need to thank you. Wherever I can. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for always being so sweet and lovely. Your support sometimes doesn’t feel deserved. Thank you for being there at my saddest times this year as well as my triumphant times. I loved finally meeting you at RT and it was an absolute highlight. Love you and can’t wait to see you again.

  Emily Tippetts and her lovely team. It’s what’s inside that always counts and you always make the interior of my books beautiful. Thank you for always being there and so willing to take my manuscripts. You’re all seriously brilliant!

  Chloe Meyer, consider yourself my beta for life. Thank you for loving all that I write. You are incredible and I am very thankful for your friendship.

  Carine and Fanny, thank you for your help with the French! Maybe I shouldn’t have continued home economics and really stuck with French but I got an overall A+. You girls are amazing. Thank you!

  And finally, thank you to my readers. I am nothing without you. Thank you for continually buying and reading my books. I write in hopes that one person will read my book. So, it always surprises me when even two people pick up my books and turn to the first page. Thank you for letting me grace you all with my stories. Thank you for letting me take up some of your time. Whether you were a reader from the very start or this is your first book of mine, thank you. With all my heart, thank you.

  Oh! If Colleen Hoover ever sees this (not that she ever will but I have to thank her), thank you for your brilliance. Your books want me to be a better author. Your books make me want to write. Your books cured my flu (I have no scientific evidence but believe me, it did). And the person that you are, make me want to be a better person. Your humility is beautiful. Your kindness is inspiring. Someday, I wish I could be a fraction of the person that you are. Thank you, Colleen.

  Len Webster is a romance-loving Melburnian with dreams of finding her version of ‘The One.’ But until that moment happens, she writes. Having just completed her BBusCom from Monash University, Len is now busy writing her next romance about how a boy met a girl, and how they fell completely and hopelessly in love.

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  What We’ll Leave Behind

  Copyright © 2015 Len Webster

  Published by Len Webster

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, including electronic or mechanical, without written permission from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be re- sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return it to the seller and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author’s work.

  Published: Len Webster 2015

  author.lennwebster@hotmail.com

  Editing: Mickey Reed

  www.mickeyreedediting.com

  Proofreading: Jenny Sims

  www.editing4indies.com

  Cover design: Najla Qamber Designs

  www.najlaqamberdesigns.com

  Ebook designed and formatted by:

  www.emtippettsbookdesigns.com

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Books by Len Webster

  About What We'll Leave Behind

  Dedication

  Quote

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  What You Left Behind

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  Copyright Notice