We'll Meet Again

by Lily Baxter

  Hauptmann Dressler announced himself formally with a curt bow and named Major Jaeger and Captain Grulich as his next in command. Charles led the way to the drawing room and Hauptmann Dressler tossed his peaked cap and gloves onto Muriel’s escritoire sending a small ormolu clock crashing to the ground; the glass face splintered into tiny shards. Meg clenched her fists at her sides as a feeling of helpless rage welled up inside her. The Hauptmann’s obvious unconcern for this small accident made the fact that he had destroyed one of her mother’s treasured belongings even harder to bear, and she blamed herself to some extent. Last night, with Marie’s help, she had packed her mother’s valuable ornaments in newspaper and stowed the boxes under the eaves in one of the attics, but she had overlooked the clock.

  Not for the first time, Meg wondered what sort of men these were beneath the harsh grey uniforms. Hauptmann Dressler looked like a clean-shaven Santa Claus but one glance from his steel-plated eyes was enough to convince Meg that he was a man to be feared and avoided at all costs. He paced the drawing room while he stated his demands coldly and impersonally. ‘Major Jaeger, Captain Grulich and myself will need rooms on the first floor away from the rest of your household. Captain Grulich you will go now and make sure this is done.’

  Grulich clicked his heels and saluted as he left the room. Hauptmann Dressler continued to pace the floor, which was already becoming scuffed and in desperate need of a good polish. Meg could only be thankful that they had thought to store her mother’s beloved Aubusson carpet under the eaves. It was a small matter, but she would not wish to see it ruined by the careless pounding of jackboots.

  ‘This room will be used as my office.’ Dressler pointed to the door at the far end of the room. ‘What is through there?’

  ‘The dining room,’ Charles said, in a low voice.

  ‘That will do as well. Your family will not enter these rooms, Herr Colivet. Is that understood?’

  ‘Perfectly.’

  ‘My cooks will take over the kitchen to prepare our meals and my men will make use of whichever of your outbuildings they need in order to make camp.’ He came to a standstill at last and made himself comfortable in Charles’ favourite chair by the Adam fireplace. He took out a gold cigarette case and Major Jaeger stepped forward to light the cigarette. Dressler inhaled deeply and then exhaled slowly, all the time keeping his gaze fixed on Charles’ face. ‘The occupation of your island is to be a model of its kind, Herr Colivet, and as long as your family obey the rules they will be treated well. I am not a patient man and I will not tolerate insubordination. I want to make that clear.’

  ‘One question, Hauptmann Dressler?’

  ‘Well?’

  ‘My family has to be fed. We will need to use the kitchen at some time.’

  ‘Captain Grulich will make the necessary arrangements.’ With a dismissive wave of his hand, Dressler turned his head away.

  Major Jaeger gave a deprecating cough and opened the door. Meg gave him a sideways glance as she followed her father out of the room. Had she imagined it, or had Major Jaeger looked just a little discomforted by the arbitrary way that Dressler had treated her father? His expression was impassive now, but she thought she had seen just a flicker of sympathy in his grey eyes.

  As they emerged from the drawing room they heard the sound of raised voices coming from upstairs followed by what sounded like someone’s fist crashing against the wood panelling of a door. Charles ascended the staircase, taking two steps at a time, closely followed by Meg and the major.

  Captain Grulich was standing outside Maud and Bertrand’s room with his fist raised, ready to pound again. ‘Open. Open, I say.’

  ‘Go away,’ Bertrand shouted in a voice that shook with terror. ‘Leave us alone.’

  ‘Open the door.’

  Maud began to scream hysterically.

  ‘What’s going on?’ Charles demanded breathlessly.

  Major Jaeger rattled off a string of orders in German and Captain Grulich stood back, his face expressionless.

  ‘Who are these people?’ Jaeger demanded.

  ‘My brother, Bertrand Colivet, and his wife Maud. Do they have to be distressed like this?’

  Major Jaeger spoke once more to the captain, raising his voice in order to make himself heard above the noise from the bedroom. Maud continued to sob and Bertrand, protected by two inches of solid oak, was shouting obscenities.

  ‘Hauptmann Dressler is very particular about his accommodation but in the circumstances perhaps we can leave your relations where they are. Have your family remove their belongings immediately and let them know that the bathroom is for Hauptmann Dressler’s use only. They must make other arrangements.’

  Meg opened her mouth to protest and was silenced by a stern look from her father. ‘Very well, Major. Come along, Meg.’

  ‘There are more rooms upstairs?’ Major Jaeger pointed to the staircase leading up to the second floor.

  ‘They were once used as guest rooms and the nursery. The attics housed the servants in the past,’ Charles said gravely. ‘But they have not been in use for many years.’

  ‘Nonetheless, they will be needed. Captain Grulich and I will inspect them. You don’t need to accompany us.’

  ‘Pa, you can’t let them do this to us,’ Meg whispered.

  ‘My dear, we have no choice. You heard what the Hauptmann said, they want this to be a model occupation, but that doesn’t alter the fact that we are virtually prisoners and completely at their mercy. If we comply with their rules we stand a chance of surviving this ordeal; if not, I can’t bear to think of the consequences.’

  ‘But, Pa …’

  ‘If you want to do something, go and find Gerald and send him to me. And you’d better get Marie and Jane to help you move everything out of our rooms before the Germans do it for us. I’ll be in my study. It’s far too small to be of any use to our unwelcome guests. I suppose I should be grateful for that.’

  He brushed Meg’s cheek with a kiss. His lips were soft and dry like the touch of a moth’s wings and Meg flung her arms around him in response. ‘I’ll do anything you tell me, Pa.’

  ‘That will be a first,’ Charles said with a hint of the dry humour that Meg had always loved.

  In the kitchen she found herself in the centre of another bitter confrontation, this time between Marie and a nuggety German corporal who stood with his arms folded across his chest while Marie brandished a saucepan at him.

  ‘I can’t cook the lunch with you in my way, you heathen brute.’

  Meg did not have to understand German to know that the string of guttural words which flowed from the corporal’s mouth was peppered with expletives, and the grinning faces of two young privates hovering in the background confirmed her suspicions. In any case, Marie had lapsed into patois and was screaming at him so loudly that it would have been impossible for her to hear what he said, even had she understood. The noise must have filtered through the corridors to the main hall as Grulich erupted into the kitchen and silenced the corporal by bellowing the loudest of all. He seized Marie by the arm and dragged her out of the room. Horrified and frightened, Meg ran after them. Grulich came to a halt in front of Major Jaeger and thrust Marie at him so roughly that she stumbled and would have fallen if the major had not caught her and set her back on her feet.

  ‘Madame,’ Jaeger said, having listened to Grulich’s explanation. ‘Corporal Klein has his orders and he is now in charge of the kitchen. You may use it to prepare food when he says you may. Captain Grulich will prepare a roster and you will please obey this.’

  Marie opened her mouth and then closed it again.

  Jaeger turned to Meg. ‘We can’t have this behaviour from your household, Miss Colivet. Hauptmann Dressler will not stand for it, and if any of these matters come to his ears he won’t take them lightly. Do I make myself clear?’

  Meg nodded. ‘Perfectly, Major Jaeger.’

  ‘Then I suggest you call your people together and tell them what is expected of them. Y
ou may use the rooms designated to you, and the curfew must be strictly observed. Any other matters you will refer direct to me.’

  ‘I understand.’

  ‘I have observed a young man of military age. Why is he not in the British forces? You understand that we have strict orders regarding any British servicemen found on the island.’

  Meg met his gaze squarely. Suddenly she was calm and cool as if her veins pulsed with iced water instead of blood. ‘That is my brother, David. He is unfit for military service.

  ‘Hmmn.’ Jaeger tapped his forefinger on his chin. ‘He looked healthy enough to me.’

  ‘David had rheumatic fever when he was a child,’ Meg said, improvising. ‘He has a heart condition.’

  ‘Nevertheless, he will be expected to work. Your land must be cultivated to feed my men. I shall speak to your father.’

  ‘You’ll find that I know more about running the estate,’ Meg said, drawing herself up to her full height. ‘My father has enough to do without worrying about the farm.’

  ‘Then tomorrow you will accompany me on an inspection of your land, and I will tell you what to do.’

  Meg met his gaze stare for stare, drawing on the stubborn streak that had often got her into trouble when she was younger. She was determined not to let him see that deep down she was shaken and terrified. After all he was just a man, a grey ghost of a man, she thought, with his close-cropped hair and his slate-coloured eyes that seemed to reflect the exact shade of his uniform. But to be fair, he had shown some slight consideration towards them and for that she was grateful.

  Major Jaeger’s stern features relaxed for a brief moment into what was almost a smile and then he turned and walked away. As the drawing room doors closed behind him Meg realised with a start that she had begun to attribute human qualities to the invaders. She must be mad to imagine that a German would show compassion for their captives. They were the enemy. She made up her mind to hate them all.

  The family ate their dinner late that evening, Marie having had to wait until Corporal Klein had vacated the kitchen before she could commence her own preparations. Gerald had discovered Pip hiding in his makeshift workshop above the tack room, and having enlisted his somewhat unwilling help they had carried the old nursery table downstairs to the morning parlour. It was a far cry from the elegant dining room where Hauptmann Dressler and his officers ate their meal off the best Wedgwood dinner service. Captain Grulich had demanded the keys to the wine cellar, and Meg had been forced to stand by helplessly as her father’s carefully laid down vintage claret was brought up to complement the Hauptmann’s meal.

  After supper, Charles called for quiet. ‘We must all be extremely careful and remember that these men literally have the power of life and death over us. One false move and they can order deportation or any other punishment they choose.’

  ‘They frighten me,’ Jane said, with a theatrical shudder. ‘I shall sleep with my door locked and a chair pushed against it too.’

  ‘Wishful thinking,’ Meg whispered, grinning at Gerald.

  Maud shot a warning glance at her as she leaned across the table to pat Jane’s hand. ‘I shall never sleep again, not while the enemy is under our roof.’

  ‘Then I’m afraid you’re going to get very tired, Maud,’ Charles said drily.

  ‘Surely it will all be over by Christmas?’ Bertrand gazed regretfully at his empty wineglass. They had drunk the last of the cooking wine that Marie had hidden in a sack of potatoes.

  ‘We can but hope.’ Charles raised himself from one of the bentwood chairs that Gerald had found in the attic. ‘And now, I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m going to bed.’

  ‘I’m not going upstairs on my own with that man standing by the front door,’ Jane muttered, rolling her eyes.

  ‘I’m afraid you don’t have much choice,’ Meg said, making an effort to sound sympathetic. ‘If you’re scared then perhaps Pip ought to go upstairs with you.’

  ‘We’ll all go up together,’ Bertrand said, rising slowly to his feet. ‘Come along, Maud. We’ll go first. The brutes won’t attack an elderly gentleman and his lady. Jane, you and Pip follow on behind.’ He slipped Maud’s hand through the crook of his arm and led them out into the hallway.

  Jane seized Pip by the hand. ‘Come along, my precious. Mother won’t let those beastly Germans hurt her boy.’

  Marie had been quietly clearing the table and she picked up the tray of dirty dishes. ‘I’ll just see to these, if that oaf’s finished with my kitchen for the night, and then I’m going to my room.’

  Gerald stood up to open the door for her. He kissed her on the cheek. ‘Goodnight, Mother. Leave the dishes. I’ll do them later.’

  ‘I won’t say no. Thanks, love.’ She gave him a tired smile as she left the room.

  They were now alone except for Buster. He had been sleeping quietly on the rug by the fire but he leapt up suddenly, wagging his tail and looking expectantly at Meg.

  ‘Poor old boy,’ she said, leaning down to pat his head. ‘I should have taken you for a walk earlier. I’m afraid you’ve had it until morning now.’ She stood up and stretched. ‘I think I’ll turn in too. It’s been a long day.’

  Gerald reached out and caught her by the hand, pulling her down onto his lap. ‘I thought they’d never give us a moment alone.’

  ‘Are you mad?’ She leapt to her feet. ‘We’re supposed to be brother and sister. You’d better start acting like it or we’re all in trouble.’

  ‘I’m going crazy living close to you like this but not allowed to touch you or tell you how I feel about you.’

  ‘You mustn’t talk like that, Gerald. We can’t afford to make mistakes.’

  ‘It’s not easy for me.’

  His dark eyes were filled with pain and longing, but she knew she had to be strong for both of them. ‘You’ve got to let it go, Gerald. I don’t know how long the Germans are going to be here in this house, but the slightest slip could be fatal. You know it’s true.’

  ‘First I lose Dad and now you. Perhaps we could meet in secret.’

  ‘Absolutely not. It would be madness.’ The pleading look in his eyes made her feel guilty. She should never have allowed him to hope. ‘Please don’t look at me like that.’

  ‘Why not? Or are you sorry that you let me kiss you and make a fool of myself? Perhaps you’re glad that the Germans are here and you don’t have to pretend that you love me.’

  She gazed at him in dismay. ‘Where is all this bitterness coming from? I never actually said I loved you. I said I didn’t know how I felt, and I suppose that’s still true.’

  ‘Admit it, Meg. You can’t allow yourself to have feelings for someone like me. That’s the truth of it, isn’t it?’

  ‘Why are you being like this? Haven’t we got enough to bear without you making things worse?’

  He took a step towards her, hands outstretched. ‘I’m sorry. Oh God, I’m sorry, Meg. I’d no right to say that.’

  ‘No, you hadn’t, and anyway you’re wrong. I don’t see you as being any different from the rest of my family, but this has got to stop, Gerald.’

  He bowed his head. ‘I suppose you’re right.’

  ‘You know I am. We’ve got to do what my father says and take one day at a time.’ She stroked Buster’s head as he licked her hand.

  ‘I didn’t intend to hurt you, but I meant what I said. I do love you.’

  ‘I believe you, Gerald. But I just don’t know how I feel about anything at the moment. It seems as though the whole world has gone mad and we’re caught up in the middle.’

  ‘I’d die for you, Meg.’

  ‘Don’t,’ she said, frowning. ‘You mustn’t even think like that now. Who knows what will happen in the future, but for the present we’re brother and sister, and if we don’t believe it then we can’t expect the Germans to believe it either.’

  Overnight Colivet Manor changed from Meg’s dearly beloved home into a billet for German officers and a barracks for their sub
ordinates. Military vehicles churned up the gravel drive and booted feet trampled the pleasure gardens, turning them into a sea of mud. Muriel’s scented shrubbery was dug over for latrines and the stable block and outbuildings were turned into living quarters for an entire platoon. Even Pip’s little cubbyhole above the tack room was discovered and he was made to clear it out and dispose of the rubbish it contained. He scuttled about for a whole morning with his arms full of cardboard boxes containing bits of electrical appliances that had long since been discarded, carrying them to his attic room like a demented worker ant. Meg had seen the soldiers watching him and laughing openly at his ungainly walk and odd appearance and her own dislike of Pip was temporarily forgotten in a blaze of righteous indignation. It was easy to hate the common soldiers with their arrogant attitude and their leering glances. She could guess at what they said as she walked past them when there was no officer to snap them to attention like malignant puppets.

  Meg had found herself locked out of the estate office and her status now was on a par with that of Billy and Joe. She toiled alongside them in the fields, doing physical labour that left her with cracked and bleeding hands and muscles that screamed out in protest. If her lot was hard, it was preferable to being cooped up in the house and forced to listen to the bitter complaints of Jane and Maud. For the first time in their lives they had to dirty their hands with housework, cleaning and polishing to Major Jaeger’s exacting standards.

  Meg aimed to avoid the kitchen whenever possible. There seemed to be a private war going on between Marie and Corporal Klein, with bitter altercations in German and patois that stopped only when a superior officer entered the room. Meg never ceased to wonder how the soft-eyed, gentle-voiced Marie could have changed overnight into a shrill harpy who treated Corporal Klein with fearless contempt. It was as if the old Marie had gone away after Eric’s sudden death, leaving a hard-faced stranger in their midst.