The Waiting Room

by Michael White

  He thrashed and fought me every step of the way for I had sent him a sense of my intention so that he would if only for a brief moment understand the feeling of despair that no doubt his daughter had felt for almost every second of her young life. I revelled in his pain and took him screaming inwardly into the barn, forcing his legs to carry him inside where the hay bales stood stacked high, the air full of the dry earthy smell.

  Laughing at his terror I cast the lamp into the hay bales before me and watched the dry animal feed catch light and begin to burn. It took but mere seconds for flames to begin to leap high into the air. He fought against my every step but his efforts were futile. I walked him into the growing flames and stood him motionless there as the inferno built about the barn, his skin bubbling and burning in the fierce heat. I felt now his hair burning as he screamed though f course I felt nothing myself. I saw his clothes smoke and burn and as the heat grew fierce and I felt his hands and limbs combust and his eyes explode I withdrew and released him to the agony that would assail him for much too brief a time.

  Much briefer than he deserved.

  He filled the barn with his screams and fell down into flame as I drifted away, across the fields and I pushed myself rapidly away from the abhorrence in which I held both him and his much deserved fate. Was it really so that there was always such pain in the world?

  Yet I had pushed myself carelessly too far away from the cottage and the green fields were gone. Above a city I floated now, smoke drifting from below and crowds bustling through streets and roads crowded with horses, carriages and crowds of people who were completely unaware of my presence as I floated high above them. Then a sharp wind caught hold of me and I was pulled down towards the ground. With a blink I realised I had slipped into the skin of someone before I had even realised it. I saw a small brick upon which was written a large letter “A”, and beside it a teddy bear and a wooden train. Other bricks littered the floor and above was a table, the top towering high above me out of reach. How long I sat there I do not know but I marvelled at the brilliance of the colours and how impossibly high everything was and yet this tiny but huge world seemed to radiate that it was full of promise and reward. It was obviously a child’s eyes that I looked through now for all I could find in the mind of the body that I now occupied were thoughts of comfort and warmth and yes; love too.

  Satisfied that my despair was now vanquished up I went leaving the wonder of the child behind. I marvelled that the child was so young that the period of my possession of it had been yet another wonder to be experienced to it. Such is innocence! I felt as if I had been taught a lesson by some unknown hand and for some reason I felt vindicated too. This time there was no need to flee and I crossed over the city for it was now apparent by the sprawling streets and buildings far below me that this was a huge place. Yet I had a destination, for in my mind there came the sense of an invitation. Down I went slowly floating to the ground towards a large ornate building at the front of which a regal red carpet covered the grand entrance. At the doorway stood two doormen.

  “Good evening sir.” they said almost in unison as I approached, my plain to see for it was apparent that they could see me! “Come inside.” they said, holding the double doors open for me.

  “You are expected….”

  Interlude Nine

  ~ In which the state of death is questioned ~

  “… And expected you were!” Smiled Apollyon as the story concluded. He rose from the table as Farrager slowly faded back into view and clapped him heartily on the back. The Earl seemed reasonably pleased with himself for some reason, yet all I felt was a feeling of disquiet, for the story made no sense to me at all. Still, Apollyon was not done quite yet.

  “No doubt your motives were true.” He chided Farrager almost. “Yet murder is murder.” He leaned down and theatrically whispered into the sick man’s ear so I could hear too. “Some would argue of course that possession is an altogether more heinous and despicable a sin.” He stood up straight again as if considering this. “Not I, of course. I have a remarkable capacity for over-looking these things, I think you will find.” He picked at his teeth as if he had found a stray piece of food there, and digging into his mouth, flicked something onto the floor. “It is one of my more endearing traits I am told.” He smiled broadly and suddenly he froze.

  As did the entire room.

  The candles ceased guttering, even the dark licking flames in the fire that were reflected on the walls stood still. I moved my hand and as I did so I realised that I was the only thing in the room that was capable of movement. Both Farrager and the Earl stood motionless, frozen in time. Yet as I sat in wonder I looked up to see that Gabriel Moon had stood, and was now approaching the end of the table where I sat. Smiling at me he moved the now empty chair to my right and sat himself down with a sigh. Now he was nearer I could see that his form had almost a glow to it; as if he was sheathed in moonlight. For some strange reason that I could not understand, he reminded me of snow.

  “The time is near.” Said Moon, reaching out and taking my hand in his. For some reason I felt much calmer when he did this, as if he was bringing everything back into focus. “You must be ready.” He continued.

  “Ready for what?” I managed to ask, for my heart was beating fast now, my sense of foreboding increasing at his words.

  “You will see.” He smiled. “Needless to say I imagine that I do not have to warn you against the twenty seventh earl of Ranleigh here, or Artemus Apollyon as he currently calls himself.”

  “He has other names?” I asked rather querulously.

  “Oh many.” Sighed Moon. “Yet I will not speak them here for he will hear me and the fugue will be broken.”

  I had no idea of what he was referring to, but nevertheless I found myself nodding in agreement. A stern look came across his face then, as if he were to broach a subject that he disliked to do so.

  “Do you now understand the damage you have done to your wife and children and those who have loved you by your obsession with improving yourself?” he asked and I nodded, for he and I were at agreement with something at long last.

  “I only wished to prove that I had capability.” I said, a tear forming in my eye. “That everything I had was earned rather than given.”

  “And yet this was not the case, was it?” he said like an accusation as he continued to radiate a thin pale light, like moonlight or freshly drifted snow.

  “No.” I said, the admission forming a lump in my throat. “It was not.”

  “And by the nature of your drive for improvement in your standing you drove all away from you by your aloofness and obsession with gaining something of your own.” I nodded in agreement now, for I could now see the truth of his words.

  “I just wanted something I had earned rather than something that was inherited.” I sobbed. “Or given.”

  “Yes.” Said Moon, and he squeezed my hand to gain my attention. As he did so, pale light seemed to bleed from his hand, easing my pain. “Yet now you find yourself in great danger.” He sighed, tipping his towards the frozen form of the Earl who still stood unmoving at the top of the table.

  “I will just leave.” I said defiantly. “This gentleman’s club or indeed any other gentleman’s club is not for me anymore.” Moon sighed as I said this, his face filling with sorrow. He turned away from me, regarding the Earl as if he were some form of zoo creature usually found at far end of Regent’s Park for the last decade or so.

  “He is like you and I you know.” He said, nodding at Apollyon.

  “He is nothing like me!” I wailed in anger, and Moon shook his head.

  “He is exactly like both you and I. He gathers those to him that he thinks are of a similar frame of mind.”

  “Poor souls.” I spluttered through my tears and Moon nodded vigorously in agreement.

  “Indeed.” He said. “Yes, he gathers those like him; as do I and as did you. It is only our motives that are dissimilar.” He noticed the confused look on my face.
“Both he and I are opposites, if you choose to look at it that way. On your part, you avariciously gathered those about you who you felt could prove your worth; increase your standing in society.” I nodded in agreement at this now, realising finally his point. “In that respect, if not in any other you and the Earl are both the same.”

  “I will leave.” I said, trying to relinquish his grip upon me, though his hand was difficult to shake off, for he seemed to possess a strength that I did not realise he had.

  “No.” he sighed. “I am afraid it has gone beyond that.” He smiled at me sadly then, and his solemn demeanour gave me a feeling of alarm that all was not well. Yet his smile said otherwise; that there may yet be a chance of redemption. “I shall grant you a boon.” He said slowly, and standing he slowly pulled me to my feet.

  “There is hope yet.” He smiled, and there was a blaze of pure white light and the room in which we stood disappeared.

  ***

  I felt Moon’s hand on my own, yet I could not see anything at all; my vision had been clouded by the burst of white light. Nor could I feel the ground beneath my feet. Slowly I began to realise that we were moving; flying almost. A harsh wind tore at me through the cloud of light in which we found ourselves. Yet even though I could feel the wind now tearing at me, I felt no discomfort. It was as if we were both floating in a cloud of isolation that was sheltered from all harm by the light that now shone from Gabriel Moon like a beacon.

  “Who are you, Gabriel Moon?” I shouted through what I now realised was an increasingly loud wind, and as I did this my sight began to clear and I saw him looking at me, smiling.

  “I was Gabriel Moon; your manservant.” He smiled, though he also noted my frown. “Though I was and am something else as well.” He paused, as if reaching a conclusion. “Gabriel Moon the manservant will suffice.” He said finally, “For that is how you knew me.” I made to protest for an explanation, but as I did so my vision cleared and I grasped at his hand tighter to steady myself.

  It was night, and a foul blizzard blew about the hills over which we flew. Below us snow covered the ground all around, deep drifts blowing across the hills. Yet I felt nothing other than that the wind tugged at both of us; we were isolated from the cold and the night. Above us I saw dark grey clouds laden with snow, billowing around our forms as we flew over the white shrouded countryside, the angry swollen grey clouds totally obscuring the stars above. Gradually I noted that we were beginning to drift lower towards the ground, and the landscape began to reveal itself to me, even though the snow that covered it made it hard to define.

  “Do you know where you are?” shouted Moon above the blizzard, for we did not seem to be immune to either the anger of the blizzard or the roaring sound of the wind. Flakes of snow clustered about our bodies too, though I could not feel them at all. I peered down to the ground and slowly I realised where I was.

  “This is the road I take from the station to my home.” I shouted, and Gabriel nodded enthusiastically. “My house is to the north.” I pointed with my free hand and we flew a little lower, the snow covered road now coming into sight. I realised at this point just how treacherous the night was, for the road was almost entirely covered in deep banks of drifting snow. Yet as we dropped even lower I began to make out wheel tracks in the snow, but as I did so the snow rapidly covered them, obscuring the passage of whatever vehicle was foolhardy enough to be out on the road on a night such as this.

  Now two small flickering lights became visible below us, ahead on the road. We drifted further along now, keeping our height the same but gaining on the small hansom as it attempted to make its way along the road. It became obvious as I observed it that the vehicle was in terrible difficulty, yet as we drew nearer I gave out a cry as I recognised the carriage.

  It was mine.

  It was obvious to even those who would dare to venture out in such appalling weather that this vehicle was totally unsuitable to be out on a night such as this. The large open carriage was completely unprotected from the elements and even as we watched I could see that the driver of the coach was struggling to maintain the forward momentum of the vehicle too. I raged as I realised precisely what form of fool would even begin to imagine that a coach such as this was suitable for such bad weather. The sheer vanity of the occupant of the coach had not only put his life but also the driver’s life at risk too, not to mention the poor animal that was attempting to pull the cart through the snow in the first place of course.

  That man was of course, I.

  “Watch.” Said Gabriel as we came to a halt, drifting high above the road, snow rushing about us. Below in the maelstrom of the blizzard I saw the coach continue to struggle forward. I squinted and could just make out that the driver was of course Gabriel Moon who now also in some strange manner floated beside me, and inside the coach I recognised myself, though I did note that I seemed to be dozing.

  As the carriage reached a steep curve in the road it suddenly slipped on the snow, no doubt largely because of a sheet of ice seated beneath the current drifts or something of the like. Almost slowly the coach skidded to one side, the driver furiously thrashing the whip at the horse that was doubt blinded by the blizzard, and I saw too that the poor animal was being dragged to the side of the bank by the sheer weight of the hansom and its occupants.

  A loud crash and splintering sound broke the night as the carriage tumbled to one side, the occupant thrown out onto the drifting banks of snow where the blizzard began to slowly cover him. The driver was not so lucky, and we descended a little lower to see that the man’s neck was twisted at an angle that surely ensured his demise. Neither man moved. We stood waiting for a while as the horse continued to thrash at the carriage that had dragged it to the ground, but it was unable to get to its feet and soon too it lay still.

  “It took three days for the road to be passable.” Said Moon beside me, breaking the silence. “When it did it was Mister Babcoombe who found us.”

  “The postmaster.” I said, simply unable to reconcile or understand what it was that Gabriel was showing me. “He never did like me very much.”

  “He had good reason not to.” Smiled Moon. “As did many others.” I grimaced at the thought, but Gabriel was determined to press on. “Those you considered not to be your equal I imagine.” I felt as if a knife had been plunged into my chest at his words.

  “Am I dead?” I asked and Moon spun in the air to face me, my hand still clasped tightly in his.

  “Yes.” He said plainly, and I screamed aloud at the thought. I would have no chance now to redeem myself to my friends and in particular my family! Yet still the snow assailed us, starting to cover the bodies and the carriage wreckage below, for the foul weather made no compensation for my feelings of horror and outrage and still continued to fall. “Yet there is still hope, Jacob.” Gabriel said, plainly. Yet still I did not understand. Or perhaps I refused to. I would suggest that perhaps I was attempting to find a way to prove that what Moon was telling me was wrong.

  “Yet I remember making it home that night!” I shouted to Gabriel. “I received the invitation to the Earl of Ranleigh’s Club, remember? Also I have been working for these last few…” I mean to finish my protestation with how long it had been since this night, yet I could not remember. “Days?” I attempted, but could not convince myself. “Weeks?” I finished as tears took me once again.

  “There is a state of being.” Explained Gabriel, staring into my eyes as the landscape below us and the blizzard began to fade. “In-between where you soul ascends or indeed descends, and your life as it is before. Some refer to it as a state of limbo.”

  “Like a waiting room?” I asked and Gabriel nodded as the white light began to fade again and the room of the Earl of Ranleigh’s Gentleman’s Club began to take shape again.

  I remembered wandering about my house after returning from the city through the snow storm, and yet I could not remember interacting with anything or anyone at all. I had not eaten; my family was away. Even the
servants did not seem to be about. I thought about my place of work but it was almost as if I could not remember; as if it were in a fog that concealed it from me. I thought of the invitation on the tablet op, for that too had already been laid open on the table. Had I picked it up to read it? I suspected now that perhaps I had not. I thought it strange at the time of course that the invitation had been opened, but this was no doubt down to some nefarious purpose of Artemus Apollyon I would have thought.

  “Just so.” Said Gabriel as the room was now clear to my sight. “A waiting room is a fine analogy.” Still The Earl of Ranleigh stood immobile beside the deathly shade of Jeptha Farrager who was also unmoving, but had begun to less mist like by the second, as if he was returning to focus or the like.

  “I must go now Jacob.” Said Gabriel by my side. “Soon the fugue will break and I must be gone by then.” He looked at the panic on my face and placed his hand on my shoulder. Still his form spoke of moonlight and snow. “You will be fine.” He said simply. “Just be ready and remember that at the end you do have a choice!” Unbidden by him there was a sudden pillar of pure white light that shot through the ceiling, high up into the heavens and then was gone, taking Gabriel Moon with it.

  “Of course I have many traits.” Said Apollyon loudly, moving again. “Not all of them admirable I must say.” He staggered slightly as he said this, and gave me a curious side look as if he was aware that something had happened but that he was not sure quite what. “Still, the midnight bell approaches and it is time for you to join my club, Mister Jeptha Farrager.” He gave a wink to the now almost mist like form of the man who stood before him. “Though I think that I hardly have need to open the doors for one such as you, Mister Farrager.” The Earl motioned towards the still closed doors and Farrager seemed as if he floated towards them, and then he passed through the still closed doors as if they were not there at all.