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Secrets

Page 14

by Brenda Joyce


  Sla­de pus­hed such mo­ro­se con­si­de­ra­ti­ons asi­de. He stro­de to­ward Rick's of­fi­ce. He was awa­re that wha­te­ver Rick and Eli­za­beth had be­en dis­cus­sing, the in­ter­vi­ew had en­ded so­me ti­me ago. He ho­ped grimly that Rick hadn't con­vin­ced her to marry him. He had lit­tle do­ubt that they had dis­cus­sed that is­sue. Of co­ur­se, it was crazy for her to ag­ree to such an al­li­an­ce, but then, it was crazy for her to lo­ok at him the way that she did, too. The­re was go­ing to be one hell of a bat­tle aro­und he­re if Rick had ma­na­ged to per­su­ade her. And Sla­de was used to win­ning his wars.

  But then, so was Rick.

  His sto­mach clen­c­hed at the tho­ught.

  Rick's do­or was open. He saw Sla­de and smi­led. Ap­pa­rently he was in a fi­ne mo­od. "C'mon in, boy. You re­ady to do so­me work?"

  Sla­de ig­no­red what he per­ce­ived to be a slight slur and en­te­red his fat­her's of­fi­ce, a pla­ce he hadn't en­te­red in ye­ars. Me­mo­ri­es swar­med over him. Me­mo­ri­es of be­ing out­si­de this do­or, whi­le James and Rick we­re on the in­si­de. "You stri­ke up a de­al with her?"

  Rick clo­sed the do­or. "Not the kind of de­al you're thin­king of."

  "How in hell wo­uld you know what I'm thin­king?" Sla­de as­ked.

  "She's gon­na stay a whi­le," Rick sa­id, ig­no­ring the ba­it. "And I'd ap­pre­ci­ate it if you didn't run her off first chan­ce you get."

  "I me­ant it when I sa­id I'm not go­ing to marry her." If Rick even gu­es­sed he wa­ged a pri­va­te bat­tle with him­self over the wo­man, he wo­uld at­tack with every we­apon he pos­ses­sed. Sla­de knew it, so he spo­ke with not­hing but con­vic­ti­on.

  "You'll chan­ge yo­ur mind when you go over the bo­oks. When you see that we re­al­ly are ban­k­rupt. Then you'll ag­ree to marry her and you'll ag­ree to do it fast."

  Sla­de lo­oked at his fat­her. Rick be­li­eved what he sa­id. And if Mi­ra­mar we­re re­al­ly ban­k­rupt… He co­uld al­most fe­el the damn no­ose tig­h­te­ning. And he had star­ted to swe­at.

  "Let me see the bo­oks," he sa­id ab­ruptly. In that mo­ment, he ha­ted Rick, re­al­ly ha­ted him.

  Rick smi­led. "Bet­ter sit down. It'll ta­ke so­me ti­me."

  Sla­de's jaw was tight. He wal­ked over to the desk and sat down in Rick's over­si­zed cha­ir. He lo­oked up. Rick slap­ped three big thick led­ger bo­oks in front of him. "You lo­ok li­ke you be­long the­re," Rick sa­id po­in­tedly.

  Sla­de ig­no­red the re­mark. "How far back do the­se go?"

  "Ni­ne ye­ars. They go back to the last ye­ar we ma­de a pro­fit."

  "Tell Lu­cin­da to bring me cof­fee and san­d­wic­hes," Sla­de sa­id, snap­ping on the desk lamp. "I can see I'm gon­na be in he­re all af­ter­no­on."

  It was black out­si­de. The sun had long sin­ce set, and Sla­de had be­en clo­se­ted in Rick's of­fi­ce sin­ce the early af­ter­no­on. He had just clo­sed the last of the led­gers and he was in shock. Not only we­re they in debt, but they had be­en ope­ra­ting at a loss the­se past two ye­ars. At a loss. Even if they co­uld ma­ke up the back pay­ments on the mor­t­ga­ge, how in hell co­uld they ma­ke fu­tu­re pay­ments and ope­ra­te the ran­c­ho? It was prac­ti­cal­ly im­pos­sib­le.

  Unless, of co­ur­se, he mar­ri­ed an he­iress.

  But she wo­uld ha­ve to be a mighty big he­iress.

  The no­ose was tight now. He co­uld fe­el it. And he didn't think the­re was go­ing to be a way out of this par­ti­cu­lar han­ging.

  He lun­ged ab­ruptly to his fe­et and pa­ced to the open do­ors of the bal­cony. The night was black but starry and bright. To his left the mo­un­ta­ins we­re a dar­ker, jag­ged sha­dow aga­inst the night sky. Ahe­ad, if he lo­oked hard eno­ugh, he co­uld see the oce­an glin­ting sil­ver aga­inst the night. And if he stra­ined hard eno­ugh he co­uld he­ar the wa­ves be­ating upon the sho­re with drum­li­ke in­sis­ten­ce. Usu­al­ly he co­uld be lul­led in­to a mo­men­tary pe­ace by the rhythmic throb­bing of the surf aga­inst the sand, but not to­night.

  He wo­uld ha­ve to ma­ke a cho­ice.

  He co­uld con­ti­nue in his re­fu­sal to marry Eli­za­beth Sin­c­la­ir, which wo­uld be tan­ta­mo­unt to tur­ning his back on Mi­ra­mar. And it wo­uld chan­ge ever­y­t­hing. Be­ca­use if he did so, Mi­ra­mar wo­uld be ta­ken away from Rick, from his fa­mily, from him­self. The banks wo­uld ta­ke it away, di­vi­de it up, sell it off in pi­eces and par­cels. Mi­ra­mar wo­uld go the way of al­most all the ot­her gre­at ran­c­hos in the area. It was un­t­hin­kab­le.

  He knew that if he sho­uld cho­ose to stay and ta­ke up his bir­t­h­right, that alo­ne wo­uld not be eno­ugh. Had Mi­ra­mar not be­en in such a de­ep ho­le, it wo­uld be eno­ugh. But it was too la­te for that. If he sta­yed, if he to­ok over Mi­ra­mar, he ne­eded mo­ney and he ne­eded it so­on. From the cor­res­pon­den­ce he had pe­ru­sed, he had le­ar­ned that the bank had ma­de it cle­ar that they had ni­nety days to ma­ke up the back pay­ments or Mi­ra­mar wo­uld be fo­rec­lo­sed. The ni­nety-day no­ti­ce had be­en gi­ven when the bank had be­en ta­ken over by a New Yor­ker-two months ago exactly. Ti­me was most de­fi­ni­tely run­ning out. Sla­de had thirty days to get his hands on the sum ne­eded just to pre­vent fo­rec­lo­su­re.

  It oc­cur­red to him that he co­uld bor­row the thir­te­en tho­usand dol­lars they ne­eded now from Char­les Mann. Char­les wo­uld gladly lend him the mo­ney, al­t­ho­ugh Sla­de had ne­ver as­ked him for an­y­t­hing, and he dre­aded the pros­pect. Yet that sum wo­uld not get them very far. It wo­uld not ma­ke next month's pay­ment, or Oc­to­ber's, or No­vem­ber's or De­cem­ber's. It wo­uld not gi­ve them the ca­pi­tal they ne­eded to ma­ke the chan­ges ne­ces­sary to ta­ke Mi­ra­mar in­to the fu­tu­re as a pro­fi­tab­le en­ter­p­ri­se. Sla­de had al­ways be­en very go­od with num­bers. In his he­ad he co­uld cal­cu­la­te the kind of cash and the kind of ti­me ne­ces­sary to turn the ran­c­ho aro­und and ha­ve it ope­ra­ting in the black. Fi­ve ye­ars wo­uld be a re­alis­tic as­ses­sment of ti­me, but the mo­ne­tary fi­gu­re was as­t­ro­no­mi­cal. Ne­ver co­uld he ask his fri­end for such a sum.

  And Rick, who des­pi­sed Char­les, wo­uld ne­ver bring him in as a par­t­ner. And Sla­de wo­uld ne­ver bring a third party who wasn't fa­mily in as a par­t­ner. The kind of mo­ney the par­t­ner wo­uld bring wo­uld me­an he wo­uld ha­ve con­t­rol-as­su­ming such an in­ves­tor co­uld be fo­und, which was pro­bably un­li­kely. The op­ti­ons ava­ilab­le we­re dec­re­asing with every pas­sing se­cond. Es­pe­ci­al­ly as he dis­mis­sed the very no­ti­on of Ed­ward mar­rying Eli­za­beth. He wo­uld not even en­ter­ta­in the pos­si­bi­lity.

  Yet Rick was right. Mi­ra­mar ne­eded an he­iress-now.

  To even con­si­der sta­ying at Mi­ra­mar-with Eli­za­beth-ma­de him pa­use. Fe­elings long de­ni­ed tum­b­led forth. He lo­ved Mi­ra­mar. He lo­ved Mi­ra­mar. This was his chan­ce, his ex­cu­se, to stay. Even James wo­uld un­der­s­tand the ne­ces­sity of his re­ma­ining. But marry her?

  This was the ex­cu­se he ne­eded to marry her. The per­fect ex­cu­se. But wo­uld James un­der­s­tand that? Wo­uld James, if the­re we­re a he­aven, lo­ok down on him and ap­pro­ve of him ta­king his wo­man as his wi­fe?

  "I don't want this," Sla­de sa­id des­pe­ra­tely to the night. Or may­be he spo­ke to his brot­her's ghost. At that very mo­ment, he co­uld ac­tu­al­ly fe­el a pre­sen­ce, as if James we­re the­re with him in the nig­ht-dar­ke­ned ro­om. "I don't want to marry her. I don't."

  James was de­ad, but de­ad or ali­ve, he wo­uld ne­ver sha­re what was his. Not ever. Sla­de knew his brot­her well eno­ugh to know that.

  He to­uc­hed his neck, as if to lo­osen an ac­tu­al han­g­man's kno
t. But his fin­gers me­rely brus­hed the sen­si­ti­ve skin of his thro­at. The no­ose, which se­emed so re­al, was only a fig­ment of his ima­gi­na­ti­on.

  Des­pe­ra­ti­on was­hed over Sla­de. He didn't ha­ve a cho­ice. He tur­ned from the bal­cony, his eyes pi­er­cing the glo­om. "I don't ha­ve a god­damn cho­ice," he grit­ted. He al­most ex­pec­ted his brot­her to ma­te­ri­ali­ze out of the night, his fin­ger po­in­ted, ac­cu­sa­tory.

  His brot­her, he knew, wo­uld ne­ver for­gi­ve him his lewd fan­ta­si­es-fan­ta­si­es he'd had non­s­top sin­ce he'd first met Eli­za­beth, fan­ta­si­es that we­re tho­ro­ughly car­nal-much less the ful­fil­lment of tho­se fan­ta­si­es. Co­uld de­ad men re­ad li­ve men's minds? Sla­de fer­vently ho­ped not. So­me we­re me­ant to be kept fo­re­ver.

  But James did not ma­te­ri­ali­ze. If he had be­en pre­sent-and Sla­de was torn bet­we­en ho­pe and dis­may- he wasn't any lon­ger. The­re was no one in the ink-black of­fi­ce ex­cept for Sla­de him­self.

  The so­lu­ti­on was­hed over Sla­de with stun­ning swif­t­ness. It was so ob­vi­o­us-and so im­pos­sib­le-that he la­ug­hed with ab­so­lu­tely no mirth what­so­ever. He co­uld marry her and get her mo­ney, sa­ve Mi­ra­mar. But it wo­uld be a mar­ri­age in na­me only. And ever­y­body who co­un­ted wo­uld be sa­tis­fi­ed: the bank, Rick, James. Even Eli­za­beth wo­uld be sa­tis­fi­ed, be­ing the lady that she was. Ever­y­body wo­uld be sa­tis­fi­ed-ever­y­body ex­cept him­self.

  He knew he was a bas­tard. He had be­en told he was a bas­tard by his fat­her mo­re than a few ti­mes, and the few wo­men who had slip­ped thro­ugh his li­fe had al­so be­en qu­ick to ma­lign him. Even his own mot­her had fo­und him so­me­how lac­king and had aban­do­ned him as an in­fant. His re­vul­si­on with the so­lu­ti­on to this di­lem­ma pro­ved they we­re all right. But for on­ce he wo­uld be ho­no­rab­le. For on­ce he wo­uld be sel­f­less. He wo­uld marry her, pro­vi­ding her with his ho­me and his na­me and the pro­tec­ti­on she so ob­vi­o­usly ne­eded. It wo­uld be a mar­ri­age in na­me only. To the uni­on she wo­uld bring her in­he­ri­tan­ce, and Mi­ra­mar wo­uld be sa­ved.

  A mar­ri­age in na­me only.

  He won­de­red if he co­uld re­al­ly do it.

  Chapter 10

  Sla­de left the of­fi­ce. He didn't bot­her to turn on the lights in the hal­lway for he co­uld ma­ke his way thro­ugh the en­ti­re ho­use blin­d­fol­ded. In the den he po­ured him­self a hefty glass of te­qu­ila and sip­ped it, all the whi­le sta­ring sig­h­t­les­sly at the wall. In his mind he kept se­e­ing Eli­za­beth, and be­ca­use the so­lu­ti­on was a mar­ri­age in na­me only, it was in a way he didn't want to see her, in a way he had no right to see her-in a way he wo­uld ne­ver ac­tu­al­ly see her.

  The light snap­ped on.

  Sla­de scow­led. "Thanks."

  "Knew it was you," Rick sa­id. "We ce­leb­ra­tin'?"

  "Ce­leb­ra­ting?" Sla­de smi­led coldly. "You're ce­leb­ra­ting, old man. I'm just drin­king."

  "You're gon­na do it."

  "Did you ha­ve any do­ubt?"

  "Not re­al­ly."

  Sla­de tos­sed off the last of his drink and po­ured him­self anot­her one.

  Rick ca­me to stand be­si­de him. "Po­ur me one, too."

  Sla­de obe­yed.

  "Don't lo­ok so happy," Rick sa­id. "Jesus! I see the way you lo­ok at her, li­ke a god­damn torn that's be­en loc­ked in an at­tic for a month! What in hell is so god-aw­ful abo­ut mar­rying that pretty lit­tle gal?"

  "Not­hing," Sla­de sa­id tightly. Rick was right on the mark. He felt exactly li­ke the tom­cat his fat­her had des­c­ri­bed, al­t­ho­ugh it had be­en at le­ast three months sin­ce he'd had a wo­man, not one. "Not­hing at all."

  "You just ha­te do­ing an­y­t­hing that might ma­ke me happy. That's it, isn't it?"

  "Be­li­eve it or not," Sla­de sa­id slowly, "you re­al­ly ha­ve not­hing to do with my de­ci­si­on. I'm do­ing this for Mi­ra­mar."

  Rick win­ced. "You ha­ve a way with words, don't you? As long as you're be­ing ho­nest with me, why don't you try out so­me of that ho­nesty on yo­ur­self?"

  "What do­es that me­an?"

  "It me­ans we both know you lo­ve Mi­ra­mar and we both know that be­ing my he­ir is no har­d­s­hip. We both know you're be­ing a stub­born fo­ol just to fight me."

  "You re­al­ly flat­ter yo­ur­self, Pop. The prob­lem he­re has not­hing to do with you, ex­cept that it's yo­ur damn idea for me to marry Eli­za­beth. Has it ever oc­cur­red to you that I might not li­ke the idea of mar­rying James's wo­man?"

  Rick lo­oked at him, frow­ning slightly. "James is de­ad."

  Sla­de was fu­ri­o­us. "Damn right. And that ma­kes me the ol­dest," he sa­id very tightly. "And af­ter the wed­ding, we do things my way or not at all."

  Rick had al­ways known when to back off, and he bac­ked off now. "Well, that's go­od eno­ugh for me," he sa­id. "Lo­ok, don't go get­ting ri­led. We both know you we­re lo­yal to James when he was ali­ve."

  "And we both know if he was still ali­ve this con­ver­sa­ti­on wo­uldn't be ta­king pla­ce." Sla­de sta­red at his fat­her. "No­ne of this wo­uld be ta­king pla­ce."

  "But he's not ali­ve," Rick sa­id ab­ruptly. He turn his back on his son, re­fil­ling his own glass. When fa­ced him aga­in, he was smi­ling. "Of co­ur­se, now you got yo­ur work cut out for you."

  Sla­de re­gar­ded his fat­her over the rim of his glass.

  "How co­me I get the fe­eling I'm not go­ing to li­ke this very much?"

  Rick grin­ned. "You pro­bably won't. Ed­ward wo­uld see it as a chal­len­ge, but not you."

  "Ed­ward wo­uld see what as a chal­len­ge?"

  "Co­ur­ting."

  "For­get it." He slam­med his glass down on the si­de­bo­ard.

  Rick le­aned clo­se, drop­ping his vo­ice to a whis­per. "We ne­ed cash and we ne­ed it fast. We don't ha­ve ti­me for a pro­lon­ged en­ga­ge­ment. I think you had bet­ter set a da­te for next we­ek. And in or­der to do that, you got to get the lit­tle girl to ag­ree."

  "Next we­ek?" Sla­de was shoc­ked. But at the sa­me ti­me, he knew Rick was right. The so­oner the bet­ter. But next we­ek?

  "Put on yo­ur co­ur­tin' clot­hes," Rick sa­id, trying not to la­ugh. "And may­be a co­ur­tin' fa­ce, too."

  Sla­de sta­red.

  Rick sa­id en­co­ura­gingly, "I know you can turn her he­ad if you try."

  Sla­de sa­id not­hing. It was then and the­re that he re­ali­zed that his ag­re­e­ing to marry Eli­za­beth Sin­c­la­ir sol­ved not­hing. So­me­how, he was go­ing to ha­ve to pro­po­se to her. Va­gu­ely the fa­iry-ta­le ima­ge of a knight in shi­ning ar­mor, down on one knee, be­fo­re a wo­man clad in what might be me­di­eval dress, ca­me to mind. The wo­man lo­oked sus­pi­ci­o­usly li­ke Eli­za­beth, the knight re­sem­b­led James. He grew even grim­mer. He sho­ved such lu­dic­ro­us tho­ughts from his mind. He had not the fa­in­test idea how he sho­uld pro­po­se-or even ap­pro­ach her. And Rick was right. What if she re­j­ec­ted him?

  A fe­eling very much li­ke dre­ad swam­ped him. Of co­ur­se she wo­uld re­j­ect him. Every wo­man he had ever spent a few nights with had re­j­ec­ted him. His mot­her had re­j­ec­ted him. And not one of tho­se wo­men had be­en la­di­es by any stretch of the ima­gi­na­ti­on-and that in­c­lu­ded his mot­her, who had run off to li­ve with a man ot­her than Rick. But Eli­za­beth was a lady. She was not go­ing to ac­cept his pro­po­sal un­less that knock on the

  he­ad had ma­de her in­sa­ne. Re­gar­d­less of the at­trac­ti­on bet­we­en them.

  "You're thin­king, what if she says no, right?" Rick was as­king. "You can't just go up to her and ask her. She's not stu­pid. You bet­ter put on so­
me co­ur­tin' man­ners, boy."

  Sla­de ba­rely he­ard. Now that the de­ci­si­on was ma­de, he felt a to­uch of pa­nic. He grip­ped his glass tightly. He did not think he wo­uld be ab­le to ta­ke re­j­ec­ti­on from Eli­za­beth Sin­c­la­ir lightly.

  "You can't ta­ke no for an an­s­wer," Rick con­ti­nu­ed. "You se­du­ce her if you ha­ve to."

  "I am ha­ving dif­fi­culty even be­li­eving this con­ver­sa­ti­on," Sla­de sa­id, set­ting his glass down very ca­re­ful­ly. "I am not se­du­cing her. Ke­ep yo­ur ad­vi­ce to yo­ur­self. You're the last per­son I'd lis­ten to an­y­way when it co­mes to the su­bj­ect of co­ur­t­s­hip and mar­ri­age." Sla­de pus­hed past his fat­her, he­ading for the co­ur­t­yard.

  "Then may­be you'd bet­ter get so­me ad­vi­ce from Ed­ward. God knows you ne­ed it from so­me­body!"

  Sla­de wasn't lis­te­ning. Out­si­de, the air was co­ol and swe­et with the scent of the oran­ge ro­ses that bud­ded aga­inst the thick ado­be co­ur­t­yard walls. In the cen­ter, the fo­un­ta­in had be­en tur­ned off, but the wa­ter bub­bled up aga­inst the si­des of the po­ol. His ga­ze drif­ted past, and set­tled ab­ruptly on the do­ors of her ro­om. They we­re clo­sed.

  Se­duc­ti­on was out of the qu­es­ti­on. Rick didn't know that it wo­uld be a mar­ri­age in na­me only. Sla­de wasn't abo­ut to tell him. It wasn't his bu­si­ness, and he knew his fat­her's res­pon­se wo­uld be ri­di­cu­le. Rick was too much li­ke him. He wasn't nob­le, eit­her.

  He sta­red aga­in at her do­ors. Clo­sed aga­inst the night, or aga­inst so­me­body li­ke him. An­ger sud­denly was­hed over him. If she hadn't be­en en­ga­ged to James, he wo­uldn't be go­ing thro­ugh this. He wo­uldn't be sta­ring at her ro­om and, des­pi­te his best in­ten­ti­ons, he wo­uldn't be be­gin­ning to trem­b­le. The so­li­tu­de and the si­len­ce of the night we­re his un­do­ing, al­lo­wing him to be­co­me awa­re of his body and his most ba­sic, pri­mal ur­ges. Ne­ed he hadn't felt sin­ce his brot­her's de­ath had hit him hard the mo­ment he'd se­en her, and it had be­en gro­wing un­con­t­rol­lably ever sin­ce. If she we­ren't James's wo­man, may­be he'd ha­ve se­du­ced her long be­fo­re now, even tho­ugh un­mar­ri­ed la­di­es we­re out­si­de of the bo­un­da­ri­es he'd set for him­self. If she we­ren't James's wo­man, he co­uld walk in­to her ro­om and ta­ke her, right now, in­s­te­ad of sta­ring at her do­ors and fe­eling as if he might ex­p­lo­de right out of his own skin.

 

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