“Right, and you’re as pure as the driven snow, aren’t you?” With an uncle in jail for beating his wife, she didn’t have any room to pass judgment on Catia’s family. “Look, I didn’t come here to argue with you. I came here to offer you an opportunity to spend more time with our kids. Are you interested or not?”
“Of course I am, but—”
“Good. I was thinking you could come to my place next weekend. We can have a barbeque, if that works for you?”
She smiled. “That would be wonderful, but do you really think we could get through the day without arguing?”
“We don’t have a choice. Besides, I think Em and Elsie saw enough of that while we were married, don’t you?” I’d always tried to keep our disagreements behind closed doors, but when we were angry, our voices carried. Even in a house the size of ours, it wasn’t easy to hide the fact we fought a lot.
“I do,” she said, hanging her head.
“Okay, then let’s try this out. If it works, we can talk to our lawyers about amending the custody agreement. I assume we’ll have to appear in front of the judge again to make it official, but that shouldn’t pose a problem if this is what we both want.”
“I do want this,” she said, stepping forward.
My first impulse was to step back, but I knew she would see that as an affront.
“Thank you.” She kissed my cheek. “You don’t know how much this second chance means to me, Chase.”
“Just remember, I’m doing it for the kids. Not for us.”
Chapter Nine
Catia
I slid a beer across the table to John as he jotted down the names of the service people he’d contracted in the area. I needed someone to shovel snow in the winter and cut grass in the summer, and he claimed “his guys” were the best, so I’d invited him inside to fill me in.
“Thanks,” he said before tipping back the beer. “That should cover it.” He gave the list a quick once-over. “I included the names of my plumber and electrician too since you mentioned a renovation.”
“I appreciate it.” Though I already had great tradesmen on speed dial. Folding the list in two, I asked, “How long have you lived in the area?”
“I guess it’ll be eleven years in the spring. My ex-wife fell in love with the place.”
“I see,” I said, reaching for my wine glass. I was making small talk, but I didn’t want to hear his life story.
“She fought me like hell for the house in the divorce settlement, but I wouldn’t budge. She wanted to buy this beachfront condo in California ‘cause it was close to her parents. So she got that, and I got the house. It was a better deal for me since my dealerships are here.”
“How about your kids?” I asked, knowing he had a boy and a girl. “Do you see them often with them living so far away?”
“I see them when I can,” he said, shrugging. “It’s supposed to be a week at Christmas and a few weeks in the summer, but they’re at that age when they don’t have time for their old man. They’d rather spend time with their friends, so I don’t push it.”
I thought of the hell Chase had gone through to get custody of his kids while John seemed content with birthday cards and the occasional phone call. “How old did you say they are?”
“Eight and ten.”
They were still young, which meant if they didn’t want to spend time with their dad, there was probably a reason. Like the fact that he was clearly a self-centered jerk.
My doorbell rang as John’s eyes drifted over me. “Expecting someone?”
“No.” But I welcomed the interruption. Any excuse to get rid of him. “Excuse me. I’ll see who it is.”
I felt his eyes tracking my every move, and I had to suppress a shudder. He was openly ogling me, making me wonder why the hell I’d invited him into my house in the first place.
“Hey, babe,” Chase said when I opened the door. He smiled before leaning in to kiss me. “My mom invited the kids for a sleepover tonight, so I was hoping I could talk you into sharing this with me.” He didn’t wait for an invitation before setting the pizza box and wine bottle on the hall table.
“Chase,” I said, grabbing his arm before he could make his way into the living room. “I, um, have company.”
He glanced into the living room, which was visible from the foyer, and clenched his jaw. “What the hell is he doing here?”
I rested my hand on his shoulder, feeling the tension. “Please be nice. We’re neighbors. I don’t want any hard feelings.”
“I told you how I feel about that guy, Cat. You can’t trust him.”
“Hey,” John said, coming out of the living room, “haven’t seen you in a while, Chase. How’s business?”
Chase took an audible breath before accepting the hand John offered. “Never better. You?”
“Can’t complain.” He nudged Chase’s elbow with his. “I guess I could, but who the hell would listen, right?”
“Mmmm.”
Chase was obviously barely able to hold his temper, and I knew something must have happened to set him off aside from finding my next-door neighbor at my house.
“John,” I said, smiling at him, “I hope you don’t mind, but I just remembered some business I have to discuss with Chase.” Anything to get rid of John.
“That’s right,” John said, looking from me to Chase. “Catia mentioned she was working for you now. How’s that working out?”
“Fine,” Chase said, clenching and releasing his fist.
“Can’t be easy to keep your mind on the job with a distraction like this, huh?” John asked in a stage whisper. “I know if she was working for me, I wouldn’t get any work done.”
I could tell Chase was about ready to snap, so I grabbed John’s arm and led him to the door. “Thanks for those names, John.”
“Uh, yeah, sure.” He glanced at Chase. “What’s he so uptight about?”
“I don’t know. Probably just work stuff,” I said, wishing he’d leave already. “I’ll see you around, okay?”
“Hey, I was thinking if you’re not busy tomorrow night, maybe we could grab some dinner?”
Oh God, this was going from bad to worse. “I don’t think so,” I said, smiling sweetly to soften the blow. “But thanks for the offer.” I closed the door before he could suggest another time, and I leaned against it with a heavy sigh. “Sorry about that, Chase. I wasn’t expecting you.”
He narrowed his eyes. “What the hell was that?”
“What?” I knew he was angry, but I didn’t think I’d done anything to warrant it.
“Why was he here?” he asked, glaring at me.
If he thought he could tell me who I could and couldn’t be friends with, it was time to set him straight. “He was filling me in on who to call for lawn care and snow removal.”
“You could have asked me.”
I grabbed the pizza and wine he’d brought and took them into the kitchen, forcing him to follow me if he expected to continue this asinine conversation. “We were both pulling in at the same time. We started chatting. He said he was having someone come in to do a yard cleanup tomorrow, and it occurred to me I needed to find someone too. I asked him who he used, and he said he had the info in his phone and if I invited him in for a beer, he’d be happy to fill me in.” Reaching into the cupboard for plates, I added, “Satisfied now? It was totally innocent. And you overreacted.”
“When I walk into my woman’s place and find her acting all nervous while she’s having drinks with another guy, I’m gonna be pissed. Especially when that guy keeps looking at her like he can’t wait to get her into bed.”
“Your woman, huh?” The feminist in me wanted to smack him, but the woman who remembered how good it had felt to share a bed with him wanted to dare him to make me his in every way. “When did we decide that? I thought we agreed to take it slow.”
“Slow? You want slow?”
He rounded the table so fast I didn’t have time to escape. Not that I would have.
“I can give
you slow.” He backed me against the stainless steel fridge as he fisted my hair and kissed me. The kiss was not only slow but thorough. He traced every crevice of my mouth with his tongue until I was moaning and ready for more than just a kiss. “I can give you fast.” This time the kiss was more demanding, almost punishing. “I can give it to you any goddamn way you want it.”
“Hey,” I said, sliding my hand into his hair and tugging just enough to get his attention. “Where the hell is all this coming from? Why are you in such a mood today?”
“I just feel like I’m gonna break any second. I’ve been walking this tightrope for so damn long, trying to do what’s right. I don’t know how much longer I can do it.”
“What happened?” I brushed my lips across his, hoping to ease his stress in some way. “Rough day?”
“Rough day. Rough month. Rough year.” He hung his head before his eyes locked with mine. “And it all started when I let you walk out of that hotel room after we made love. I should have tried to stop you. I should have figured out a way for us to make it work instead of giving up.”
“The past doesn’t matter,” I said, hoping that was as true for him as it was for me. “We’re here together now. We can figure this out.” I was expecting a bumpy ride, but I didn’t want to give up on us any more than he did. Not this time.
“I need you.” His big, calloused hands reached for the buttons running down the length of my fitted black cotton shirt. “Tell me you need me too, Cat. I need to hear you say it.”
I’d heard men say they needed me before, but I’d never understood what that meant until now. Chase was holding his breath, waiting for my response, as though the very act of breathing demanded mutual consent.
“You know I want you.”
“What I know,” he said, tearing open my shirt, “is how many other men want you.”
I should have been appalled, but I’d never been more aroused.
His eyes devoured my heaving breasts before he swiped his tongue over the swell spilling over the black lace cups. “I need to know you’re mine. This time I can’t make love to you until I hear those words.”
“I’m yours.” I had been the last time we’d made love and every day since. No other man had even come close to tempting to me to stray from the unspoken commitment I’d made to him that night.
“If we do this again,” he said, reaching for the button on my low-cut jeans as his heated gaze pinned mine, “we both have to be all in. We need to figure out a way to make this work. No more running. No more excuses.”
“Agreed.” That was the only thing I’d ever wanted, the reason I’d come back here and gotten a job with his company.
“Good.” He kissed my neck, ratcheting my desire even higher as his scruff abraded my skin while his hand found its way into my panties.
“Oh God.” It had been so long since a man had pleasured me. I hadn’t slept with anyone since him, and that extended to fooling around too. My last orgasm at the hands of another had been thanks to him, and I was desperate for another.
“Feel good, baby?” He nipped my lower lip before soothing it with his tongue.
“You know it does.”
“Words. I need words.”
That was the only thing I couldn’t give him right now. I felt like an elastic band being pulled too tight, on the verge of breaking, as I held my breath and waited to inevitably snap.
“You don’t want me to stop, do you?” His hand stopped as though he intended to carry out his threat if I didn’t find the words he wanted to hear.
“Please,” I whispered, gripping his shoulders. “Don’t stop, Chase. Not now. Not ever...” The stroke of his fingers felt like heaven, and I tried to remember how to breathe. “I want you.”
“Mmm, I love the sound of that,” he whispered, his voice husky as he twisted and twirled his tongue over my heated flesh. “But I want more.”
More? More words? Was he crazy? He expected me to talk when I felt as if I was scaling a wall where the air was thin and the summit was within view? I had no words to describe the way he made me feel. The way I felt about him. Except maybe… “I love you.”
His lips curled against my neck as his tempo increased. “Those are the words I needed. I knew you’d get there eventually… with the right incentive.”
I sank my teeth into his shoulder, making him chuckle as he finally pushed me over the edge.
When I drew back, I expected him to be smiling or at least look self-satisfied. Instead he looked awestruck.
“What?” I asked, suddenly self-conscious as I curled my hand around his wrist. “What is it? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“You’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen in my life. I knew that before, but seeing you like this, so vulnerable… it just hit me. I’ve got to be the luckiest bastard on the planet right now.”
I smiled before curling my arms around his neck while his arms encircled me. We stayed like that for a minute, relishing the closeness while my breathing returned to normal. That was when it hit me—he hadn’t said it back. I’d told him I loved him, and he hadn’t said it back. I pushed back on his shoulders so I could step out of his grasp.
“Hey,” he said, “where the hell do you think you’re going?”
“I just need a little space.” I tried to step around him, but he wouldn’t let me, pinning me against the fridge instead.
“Yeah, well, that’s not gonna work for me. I already told you I made the mistake of letting you go once. It won’t happen again. So you might as well just tell me what’s going on.”
Most guys wouldn’t have pressed me, but Chase wasn’t like most guys, and that was why he’d taken my heart hostage in the first place.
“You didn’t say it back.” My voice was barely above a whisper as shame washed over me. I’d never been one of those needy women who insisted a man spell out his feelings after an intimate moment. “I’m sorry. Forget it,” I said, shaking my head. “It’s stupid. Forget I said anything.”
He frowned before it gave way to a smile as he figured out what I was talking about. “You don’t know by now how much I love you?”
I felt it when he looked at me, but nothing compared to hearing it while seeing it reflected in his eyes.
“When you walked back into my office after all that time, I felt like someone had sucked all of the oxygen out of the room, Cat.” He kissed me as though he couldn’t keep his lips off me. “After all those months of fantasizing about you, you were finally back in my life. And I’m not going to lie, I was scared to death.”
Imagining a tough guy like Chase, who made sport of smarmy subcontractors, being afraid of anything was hard. “You were? Why?”
“I didn’t know why you were back, what you wanted from me.” Another kiss was followed by a shuddering sigh, and I knew how hard he’d been trying to hold it all in. “I was so afraid to let you back in, to trust you again. I swore I wouldn’t. But after that night in the hotel, when I watched you go back to your room, I knew I didn’t have a choice. Not trusting you meant not having you in my life, and that wasn’t an option.”
“Not having you in my life wasn’t an option either,” I said, brushing my thumb over his jaw. “That’s why I had to come back. You still had my heart, and I wanted it back.”
“Yeah?” He gave me a lopsided grin. “Well, that’s too bad ‘cause you’re not getting it back. Ever.”
“Is that so?” I couldn’t imagine ever wanting to give my heart to anyone else, so letting him keep it wasn’t a problem.
“Yeah. You think you can live with that?”
“It almost sounds like you’re asking whether I can live with you.” I bit my lip, diverting my eyes when I realized this conversation had just taken a much more serious turn. We were both thinking about forever. I wondered if it was even possible with all of the obstacles still blocking our path.
“Maybe I am. Can you?”
I lifted my eyes and saw what he was saying without using the words
. He was a package deal, and living with him meant living with his daughters, even if they vowed to make my life miserable. Could I really do that?
“You don’t have to answer right this second,” he said when he sensed my hesitancy. “Just know that’s what I want… down the road.”
I nodded, afraid to speak in case he could read the fear punctuating my words. I didn’t want anything to ruin what we were building, but I knew that wasn’t my decision. It wasn’t even his. It all circled back to a commitment he’d made long before he met me and a bond that could never be broken… between a father and his daughters.
Chapter Ten
Chase
I tried to banish the doubt clouding her eyes in every way I could think of. I kissed her, caressed her, and immersed myself in her, all while telling her how much I loved her. But that still wasn’t enough. The only thing that gave us both a momentary reprieve from her trepidation was the intense throbbing as her body answered my call for the second time.
Letting her come down slowly so I could build her back up again, I licked the shell of her ear as she shivered under me. Her nails scored my back, reminding me how incredible she could make me feel with the simplest touch.
My body remembered hers as we moved in unison as though we’d done this dance hundreds of times instead of just once. Our cadence and rhythm was perfect. I remembered to breathe every time she exhaled.
I allowed my mind to wander, pretending this was our bed, not hers. That we shared a house, a home, a family. For the first time in my life, sex wasn’t just a means of satisfaction. It was the foundation of what I hoped would be a solid relationship. But I knew I had to make it so incredible she wouldn’t want to look elsewhere when the pressures of my life came crashing down on her.
“Chase…”
A sense of urgency drove me when I saw the tenderness in her gaze. She wanted to love me. She wanted this to work as much as I did, and she was counting on me to prove to her that it could. I didn’t know how when I already felt as though I was balancing the weight of the world on my shoulders, but I was determined to find a way.
Catia (Starkis Family #6) Page 10