My gaze held hers as my hot ache grew more demanding. I wanted her to see and feel how much I wanted her in a way that was undeniable. The heat of fire licked through me, pushing and punishing me when I failed to answer it.
She implored me with her eyes, questioning why I was holding back. I didn’t know. The only thing I knew for sure was that when I let it end, I couldn’t count on it happening again. Tomorrow we would both return to our real lives. Mine bound by obligations, hers free of commitments. A surge of desire seemed to spiral through her as she took matters into her own hands, clenching me hard, pulling me deeper, taking me down whether I was ready to go or not.
I cursed softly, angry with myself for not being able to hold out just a little longer.
Catia kissed me sweetly, and I closed my eyes, hungry for more. I threaded my hands through her hair, my body still joined with hers. We were silent for a minute, obviously trying to collect ourselves and decide what was supposed to come next.
We hadn’t discussed whether I would spend the night, and I suddenly remembered her telling me she wasn’t a fan of overnight guests. Of course, if she wanted me to leave, claiming she needed her space, I wouldn’t object, but it would hurt my pride. And my heart.
“Be right back,” I whispered and brushed my lips across her cheek before heading into the adjoining bathroom.
After taking care of business, I washed my hands and splashed water on my face, but I knew I was just killing time. I didn’t want to face the conversation I knew we would have to have when I returned to the bedroom.
What next? kept filtering through my head. We’d claimed to love each other, said we wanted to figure out a way to make this work, but now we had to figure out the logistics, and I didn’t have the answers. Admitting as much to her would be akin to admitting I thought it was hopeless, and I’d have swallowed glass before I admitted that.
When I walked back into the bedroom, she was facing me, stretched out on the mattress and lying on her side, her head propped in her hand. “Hey.”
“Hey.” Awkward wasn’t a word I would have used to describe any of our previous interactions, but this felt different. As if we were suddenly feeling each other out, looking for answers the other didn’t seem able to provide.
“Come back to bed,” she said, patting the mattress beside her.
At least she wasn’t asking me to leave. That was a start. I crawled back into bed beside her and pulled her close.
“You’re still way too tense,” she said, circling her hand over my chest. “I thought that would have helped relax you.”
“It did,” I lied. I felt like a coiled spring ready to give way. Trying to put her at ease, I moved my fingers over her scalp, massaging gently.
She sighed, resting her head on my chest. “That feels good.”
“We have to talk, baby.” I felt her whole body stiffen, as though she’d conditioned herself to believe the worst with me. “We need to figure out where we go from here. You know that I want you—”
“But you have to think about your daughters.” When I didn’t respond, she kissed my chest. “I’m in no hurry. It takes as long as it takes for them to warm up to the idea that there’s another woman in your life now.”
I exhaled slowly, not wanting her to know that I’d been waiting to hear those words. Most women would have pressured me to “get my girls in line” and insist they accept her or risk punishment, but Catia seemed to understand that approach would never work.
“I know it’s not fair to ask you to be patient, especially since I don’t know how long it’ll take for Em and Elsie to accept you.” I was essentially asking her to put her life on hold, to wait for me when there were hundreds of men without my issues who would love a chance to make her happy.
“I don’t expect you to have all the answers,” she said, looking at me with a sad smile. “Your daughters have minds of their own, and no one can tell them how to think and feel. We may even have to accept the fact that they’ll never learn to like me.”
I refused to entertain that possibility because I knew I could never ask the woman I loved to live in a house filled with animosity and frustration.
“Will you do me a favor?” she asked.
“Anything.”
“Will you just try to relax?”
Easier said than done when I felt as though my future was hanging in the balance. She’d come back for me because she loved me, and the thought of letting her go because my girls refused to give her a chance was gut-wrenching. “I’ll do my best.”
“Will you do one more thing for me?” she asked, her expression solemn.
“What?”
“Spend the night with me.”
“I can’t think of anything I’d rather do, sweetheart.”
***
I’d taken my daughters to a Saturday matinee after I picked them up from my parents’ house. I’d had an incredible night and morning with Catia, making love to her several times before dawn interceded and reminded us it was time to get back to real life.
“I liked da movie,” Emily said, slipping her hand into mine. “Did you, Daddy?”
It felt like the first time in forever she’d voluntarily reached for me, and I savored the contact. “It wasn’t bad.” In all honesty, my mind had seen more images of Catia than the animated characters.
“Can we get pizza now?” Elsie asked, claiming my other hand.
It was a little early for dinner, but since I didn’t feel like cooking, I conceded. I wished I could have called Cat and asked her to join us, but it was too soon to expect the girls to welcome her into their lives.
After we’d crossed the parking lot to our favorite pizza spot in the sprawling plaza, I was stunned to see Catia walking toward us and holding another man’s hand. She paled when she spotted us, whispering something to the good-looking blond who promptly released her. If I’d been alone, I would have made a scene and demanded answers, but with my daughters at my side, I had to hold my temper as we all approached the door at the same time.
“Hey,” Elsie said, pointing at Catia. “I know you!”
“Hi,” Catia said, smiling at both girls before she glanced at me. “Hi, Chase.”
I couldn’t take my eyes off her companion long enough to respond.
“Um, Dev,” Catia said, linking her arm through his, “this is Chase. He’s my boss. And these are his adorable daughters, Elsie and Emily.”
“Hi,” Dev said, offering me his hand. “Pleasure to meet you.”
I would have told him where to shove it if my impressionable kids weren’t standing by, watching my every move. “You from the area?” I asked, trying to figure out whether he and Catia had just met or if they had history.
“No, I’m from Chicago.” He put his arm around Catia. “I was just passing through and couldn’t leave without seeing my girl. We all miss her like crazy.”
“Is that right?” I asked, glaring at his girl.
“Dev and I went to school together,” Catia explained, patting his flat stomach. “We’ve been friends forever.”
She was clearly trying to send me the message that their relationship was platonic, but just because she viewed it that way didn’t mean he did.
“Daddy, I’m hungry,” Emily said, tugging on the sleeve of my leather jacket. “Can we eat now?”
“Pizza again?” Catia asked, looking amused.
The memory of eating pizza in her bed eighteen hours ago flashed through my mind. “I’m humoring my girls. What’s your excuse?”
“Dev’s been on a low-carb diet,” Catia said, rolling her eyes. “I told him if he’s going to cheat, he has to make it count. Since pizza is his absolute favorite—”
“And our Saturday-night tradition,” Dev said, winking at her.
So she used to spend every weekend with this guy? What the hell? “Is that right?” I demanded, hoping for more information about the nature of their relationship.
“Come on, Daddy,” Elsie said, stomping her brightly c
olored sneakers against the pavement. “It’s cold. Let’s go inside!”
“Sure,” I said, holding the door for them before nodding for Catia to precede me.
“Thanks,” Dev said, entering behind Catia, his hand on her back.
I could barely breathe with the effort it took not to blow up at the sight of his hands on her. Last night, my hands had been all over her, and I was going to lose my mind if I didn’t find a way to convince myself his touch was as innocent as she claimed.
The hostess appeared, smiling at Elsie and Emily. “How many?”
“There’s three of us,” I said, trying to ignore the fact his hand was still resting on Catia’s back.
“And two of you?” the waitress asked Dev.
“Yes,” he responded, charming her with a smile.
Dev was well over six feet with dark blond hair and light green eyes. He was dressed in jeans and a button-down shirt with a blazer and scarf. Not the type of guy I’d normally hate on sight, but the way he was cozying up to Catia made me want to knock out every one of his perfect white teeth.
“Right this way,” the waitress said, leading us all to two booths in the back of the crowded restaurant.
And they just happened to be side by side. Great. I didn’t know if I should be grateful I’d be able to listen to their conversation or pissed that I’d have to continue to witness their obvious familiarity.
“Perfect,” Catia said, sliding into the booth as though she didn’t have a care in the world. “Thank you.”
“Can I get you guys something to drink?” the hostess asked. “Your waitress will be by in a minute, but I can get you started with drinks.”
“A white wine would be great,” Catia said. “Chardonnay, if you have it.”
Normally I would have been impressed that a girl like Catia, who enjoyed thousand-dollar-bottles of vino with her family, could be just as content with cheap wine in a pizza joint, but I was too pissed at her to give her credit for anything. Why hadn’t she told me she had a friend coming in from out of town? Was she trying to keep it from me because they were more than just friends? Logically I knew that was crazy given the things we’d said and done last night, but after the number Karen had pulled on me, I knew better than to think anything was impossible.
We placed our drink orders while the girls chatted about the movie. I caught Catia glancing at me every once in a while, but I could only return her smile with a frown. When I couldn’t stand it any longer, I pulled out my phone and texted her. WTF?
She glanced at her screen before sighing and responding with two words that made me even angrier. Grow up!
When I gave up on the idea of having a fight via text while we were only a few feet away, I slipped my phone back in my pocket and tried to focus on my daughters. I asked them about their sleepover with my parents and what was going on at school, but every few minutes, my questions were punctuated with laughter from the next table, prompting me to curl my hands into fists and glare at our neighbors.
“When can we start Christmas shopping?” Elsie asked.
“Christmas?” I took a deep swallow of the beer the waitress delivered along with soft drinks for the girls. “Thanksgiving isn’t even here yet.”
“Nana says it’s never too early to start thinkin’ ‘bout Christmas,” Em said, her blond curls bouncing with that emphatic shake of her head.
Figured my mother would say that. She’d always been obsessed with the holidays, even more so now that she had grandchildren to spoil. “Well, let’s just focus on getting through Thanksgiving, then we’ll talk about Christmas.”
I thanked the waitress when she placed our pizza between us along with plates and utensils. I watched the girls dig in as though they hadn’t just shared popcorn at the movies less than an hour ago.
“So I talked to your mom,” I said, hoping the topic would distract me enough that my eyes wouldn’t keep drifting to the left. “She’s excited about spending more time with you.”
“Yay!” Elsie said, clapping as her eyes lit up. “When can we see her?”
“Next weekend. She’s going to come over to the house, and we’ll all have a barbeque.”
“Just like we used to,” Emily said, stealing a glance at her sister.
“We’re going to do everything we can to make this transition easier on you guys,” I said before taking a bite of the pizza. “But you need to understand that we’re taking this one day at a time for now. A lot will depend on how well we all get along together.” I hoped the girls understood they had to be on their best behavior for this arrangement to work. I didn’t want them trying to manipulate us, thinking they could get whatever they wanted.
“We promise to behave,” Em said, raising her hand as she nudged her sister. “Don’t we, Els?”
“Uh, yeah, sure.”
It was still hard for me to believe they were so young. They seemed so mature for their age, and I hated to think I’d blink and be dealing with makeup, boys, and cars.
Elsie looked at Catia, who caught her eye and smiled. “Her boyfriend’s cute.”
“He is not her boyfriend,” I said, gritting my teeth.
“You don’t know,” Emily argued, pulling a string of cheese off her pizza and shoving it in her mouth. “He could be.”
I wanted nothing more than to argue Dev couldn’t be her boyfriend—because I was. But that would have raised questions I couldn’t answer, and since we hadn’t really defined our relationship, I didn’t think I had the right.
“Eat up,” I said, pushing my half-empty plate aside. “I’m ready to get out of here.”
Chapter Eleven
Catia
“Oh my God, he’s gorgeous,” Dev said, covering my hand with his as he watched Chase leave the restaurant with his kids. “I don’t blame you one bit for moving all this way to be with him. I would have too.”
“Did you see the way he looked at you?” I asked, not even trying to hide my disgust as I downed the rest of my cheap wine. “He thought there was something between us. I can’t believe him! I slept with him last night—”
A mother across the aisle frowned at me before returning her attention to her two rowdy boys.
“I slept with him last night,” I whispered, “and he still doesn’t trust me.”
Dev raised a shoulder. “You can’t really blame him, hon. Any guy would be jealous of me.”
I laughed before kicking him under the table. Because I’d known Dev for so long, I thought it should be obvious to everyone he was gay. Apparently not.
“Honestly, how does he expect to make this work if he can’t trust me to have male friends?” Half of my social group in Chicago were guys, and only Dev and his partner were gay. How would Chase react when he learned I had plenty of heterosexual male friends? A couple I’d even slept with a time or two.
“Don’t be too hard on him,” Dev said, patting my arm. “This is all new to both of you. You’re still feeling each other out, trying to figure out what the boundaries are.”
“I guess you’re right,” I said, smiling when he poured the rest of the carafe of wine into my glass. “Thanks.”
“How cute were those kids of his though?” He sipped his soft drink. “They could be models!” Dev was so animated when he got excited about something. I loved that about him.
“They are pretty cute,” I admitted. “Too bad they hate me.”
“They don’t hate you,” he said, making a face that made me laugh. “They’re just used to being the center of Daddy’s world, and they’re not anymore. You are. They’ll get used to it.”
“I’m not the center of his world, Dev,” I said, feeling guilty my friend would even imply that I’d somehow displaced his daughters. “They are, and that’s how it should be.”
He tipped his head as he drew an air circle around my face with his fingertip. “Not liking this whole martyr thing you’ve got goin’ on, Cat. Doesn’t work for you.”
“I’m not trying to be a martyr. I’m trying to b
e understanding. I fell for a man who has kids. I knew that going into this.”
“Still, you have to let them know who’s boss, or they’re going to think they are.”
Maybe they are. I downed the rest of my wine. “I just don’t see how this thing with Chase can work if they hate me. I mean, what kind of future will we have? I can’t sleep with one eye open for the rest of my life, can I?”
He laughed. “Come on. I don’t think it’s that bad.”
“You have no idea.” I’d caught them glaring at me a couple of times when Chase wasn’t looking. He may have tried to reason with them after the incident at his house the other night, but they clearly didn’t intend to budge.
“So what’s the plan?” He raised his hand before I could respond. “And don’t even tell me you don’t have one. You always have a plan.”
Given my career choice, I had to be a planner, but I was coming to realize some things couldn’t be organized as deliberately as a multi-million-dollar construction project. “Honestly, when I moved here, I planned to get a job working for Chase and living across the street from him. Over time, I hoped we’d rebuild our friendship. Obviously, I hoped it would lead to an intimate relationship—”
“Which it has,” Dev said, opening his hand. “So far, I’d say all is going according to plan. So what’s next?”
“That’s just it,” I said, trying to tamp down my frustration. “I don’t know. I never even considered the possibility Chase’s girls would have a problem with our relationship. Now that they do, I don’t know what to do.”
“I’ve known you a long time,” he said, stroking my cheek with a smile. “You’re one of the most tenacious women I know. You’re not going to let two spoiled divas keep you from getting your man, are you?”
“It’s not that simple, and you know it,” I said, squeezing his hand. “His kids are the most important thing in the world to him. He fought for months to get full custody, and now that he has it, he’s not going to do anything to jeopardize his relationship with them, nor would I expect him to.”
“But if you’re important to him, he won’t let you go without a fight.”
Catia (Starkis Family #6) Page 11