Graceless

by Clare Kauter

  “What’s he like, your brother?”

  I appreciated Adam’s use of the present tense.

  “Unreliable,” I joked.

  Adam smiled. “I’m serious.”

  I sighed. “I don’t know. I’ve always thought we’re like that movie Twins, where he’s Arnold Schwarzenegger and I’m Danny DeVito.”

  He laughed aloud at that and then, still smiling, said, “If you’re the bad half, he must be a pretty good guy.”

  I smiled, shifting a little. “It’s weird when you’re nice to me. I don’t know how to deal with it.”

  “It won’t happen again, I promise.”

  I rolled my eyes.

  “Squirtle,” I said.

  “What?”

  “My nickname. I like Squirtle.” He looked like he was trying to suppress a laugh. “What?”

  “Maybe save that for your porn star name.”

  My hand flew to my mouth. “Oh god.”

  “Jigglypuff would also make a good porn name.”

  “I don’t want a porn name!”

  “Right, of course. You want a street name.”

  “I’ve changed my mind. Go back to being nice to me.”

  “Sorry, Charmander. It’s too late for that.” I felt him shiver next to me. We didn’t have much time left until we started losing fingers and toes.

  “We need to try to get out,” I said.

  “We tried, Charlie.”

  “We need to try again,” I said. “We can’t just wait here. No one’s coming to save us, and if they are they’re going to be too late. You can’t just give up.”

  “The room’s empty, Charlie. The only way out is through that door, and it’s locked from the outside. If we had a piece of wire I could pop the lock, but we don’t. We don’t even have clothes.”

  My eyes widened. Oh my goodness. How had I not thought of this before?

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  “Adam, I’m a genius. Like, you’re pretty smart, but I’m better,” I said.

  “What? Why?”

  “Because we do have a bit of wire,” I said, pointing at my boobs.

  His eyes widened. “Oh my god, of course! Your bra! Quick, take it off.”

  My eyebrows headed skyward. “Excuse me?”

  “Charlie, now is not the time.”

  “I’m not just going to whip it off!”

  “Remember our discussion about you being self-centred and immature? This is one of those opportunities for growth.”

  “But I don’t want to –”

  “Charlie, I’ve seen a lot of breasts in my time. Firstly, I’m a doctor, and secondly, as I’m sure you’re aware, I’m not a virgin. Plus I have my own nipples, which you can see as they’re currently on show. It’s hardly a scandal. If it bothers you that much, just turn around.”

  I turned around. Once the clasp was undone, I handed the bra to him before covering my chest with my arms and turning back to face him. He didn’t so much as glance at me, which was both a relief and slightly offensive. He was busy moving the corner of the cup across the concrete floor in a sawing motion, cutting open the material to get the underwire out. Eventually he succeeded in breaking the material and slipped out the wire before returning the bra to me. I pulled it back on and did it up (although it took a couple of goes because my fingers were so cold). It was not the most comfortable thing in the world and it made my boobs look kind of lopsided, but at least there was now a chance I wouldn’t die wearing it.

  Adam was already at work on the door and he seemed to be making good progress. (If you’re unfamiliar with underwires, they’re quite sturdy yet thin curved pieces of metal – perfect for popping the lock on, say, a freezer door.) There was a click and Adam was pushing the door open. We burst out into the main room, revelling in what felt like intense heat after the icy cold of the refrigerated room. We slunk down the corridor looking for somewhere to hide while we warmed up enough to try and mount another rescue attempt and ended up hiding behind a steel bench.

  Once we’d stopped shaking, we kept moving through the building. I wasn’t sure what our goal was now. Getting out seemed like a good idea, but I didn’t want to leave without Gracie and I doubted Adam did either. Neither of us had our phones to call for help. The guys Adam had called were already out on jobs and I wasn’t sure James had gotten my message (and even if he had, I didn’t know if he would have bothered listening to the whole thing) so we couldn’t be sure we had any backup.

  Gracie wasn’t in the room where we’d found her before, so we kept looking as we made our way through the factory until we were stopped by a locked door. We listened against it and didn’t hear anything from the other side.

  Adam held the underwire up. “I should start carrying these around everywhere,” he said before beginning to pick the lock.

  “Well, they do come in a handy carry case,” I said.

  He smiled, pushing the door open.

  And then the shots started.

  Adam pulled me to the ground and we both lay there silently for a moment before realising that the shots were a lot further away than we’d first thought. This big building was full of metal and echoed a lot. We weren’t being shot at, but someone was. There were men yelling and more shots and the sound of footsteps. I realised too late that the footsteps were heading in our direction, but Adam had pulled me out of sight of the person approaching to doorway.

  When the person crossed the threshold, though, we realised it was Gracie. Adam grabbed her, covering her mouth in case she screamed. She was freaked.

  “Gracie, it’s me. It’s Adam,” he said. Grace visibly calmed at the sound of his voice. “Are you OK? Are you hurt?”

  She shook her head. He took his hand off her mouth.

  “What’s happening?”

  “After my dad locked you in that room and that other guy took me away, I pretended to be asleep until he left me alone. Then I snuck out and went to see what he was doing.” She bit her bottom lip. “He saw the police coming.”

  “The police are coming?”

  She nodded. “Yes. My dad saw them and – and –”

  She started shaking. Adam hugged her. “It’s OK, Gracie. I’m sorry, but you need to tell us what happened.”

  “He shot them.”

  “The police?”

  “No, the guys who were with him. His friends. He thought they must have called the cops on him so he shot all of them.”

  “Oh god,” I said. My stomach turned. There were four corpses somewhere in this building, and that psycho had shot them in front of a little girl.

  “Alright Gracie,” said Adam. “We need to get out of here, OK?”

  She nodded. “I think he saw me. He was so angry…”

  “Let’s go,” I said, standing.

  “Too late,” said a voice from the doorway.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Bill Reagan, true to his brand, was pointing a gun at us.

  “Gracie, get over here,” he said.

  She shook her head and turned, throwing her arms around Adam.

  “Gracie,” Reagan said through his teeth. The hand holding his gun twitched. He didn’t like that she wasn’t obeying him.

  Shit. I needed to do something. Distract him until… Well, until something happened. Distraction was the important bit.

  “I can see you’re working up to something, so I’m gonna stop you there. Before we get to that, I need to clear this up: why did you dump Ralph’s body on my lawn?”

  “What?” Reagan asked. Adam rolled his eyes at me.

  “How did you know I was looking into you?” I persisted.

  “I didn’t. One of my friends suggested that you were the kind of person who deserved to have your house turn into a crime scene and I obliged.”

  “What friend?”

  “Does it matter?” Adam asked. “You’re not exactly the most popular person.”

  “Of course it matters! Whoever his friend is clearly needs a solid tap on the nose. And a prison
sentence.”

  Reagan opened his mouth to respond, but before he had a chance he flew forward, flat onto his face. I was momentarily confused, but then I saw a person behind him. He’d been tackled to the ground – and then cuffed – by none other than James McKenzie.

  “Guess you got my message, huh?”

  “Best thing I’ve heard all day,” James said, leaving Reagan in his spot on the floor. I suppressed a shudder as I thought back to the mess of a message I’d left. Yeesh. Oh well. I guess it hadn’t bothered James too much since he’d closed the space between us, leaving Reagan cuffed on the floor. James wasn’t playing it cool now. He wound his arms around my waist and kissed me.

  Not just close breathing this time, either. Our lips touched and everything.

  The kiss was going well – my tummy was fizzing (not in a gassy way) and I was enjoying the moment until I became aware of my arms hanging limply by my sides. I needed to do something with them. I couldn’t just leave them hanging awkwardly. Grabbing his face seemed too forward – ditto grabbing his arse – so I put my hands on his biceps awkwardly and realised immediately that this was the wrong choice. What now? I’d latched onto his arms with hands like a Lego man. How was I meant to salvage this? I panicked and gave his arms a little squeeze.

  Why.

  Why had I done that.

  Why.

  James laughed against my mouth and tried to keep kissing me, but eventually got lost in a fit of giggles. I glared at him.

  “What – what was that?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I snapped.

  He was about to respond, but we heard voices and footsteps approaching. We sprang back from each other. I glanced guiltily at Gracie, who had her hand over her mouth and was giggling adorably while Adam was giving her a quick check up to make sure she was OK.

  The police arrived in the room as Reagan was coming to and carted him off. James and I didn’t make eye contact the entire time we were telling the other cops what had happened. We left off the ending.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Tuesday night may seem like an odd night for a party, but then again I had odd friends. They’d decided to throw a ‘Charlie’s still alive’ soiree to celebrate the fact that I hadn’t been frozen into a popsicle the night before. Usually they’d just rock up at my house without telling me, but this time they’d decided that they wanted to host a proper party, so we were going out.

  I was currently post-shower, trying to decide what to wear. Matching underwear was a no-brainer. You never knew who was going to see it, a fact that I now knew more about than I wished to. The rest of the outfit was where I was struggling. You see, our previous venue of choice had been shut down since the owner had gone to prison for murder (amongst other things). Rocky’s, our new watering hole, was located in The Palace Hotel – a hotel owned by our friendly local billionaire, James McKenzie.

  James and I hadn’t spoken since… well, the sexy kissing thing. And I hadn’t been at my best then. (But! I had been in matching underwear, which is a bonus. Despite the lopsided boobs.) If I happened to run into him tonight at the bar – although I didn’t even know if he was going to be there – I wanted to look nice. Minimise the amount of regret he’d feel about kissing me.

  OK, so maybe he was just doing it for information. But even if he was, I didn’t care that much. It was a good kiss and hey, I was kind of using him too. They say treating each other as equals is the first step to a healthy relationship, right? I mean, sure, maybe they weren’t talking about this particular situation, but the general rule applied. If he was using me for information about my brother then he deserved my distrust, and if he turned out to be a good guy, he never needed to know the depths of my paranoia. Either way, making out seemed like a good plan in the meantime.

  As long as I didn’t squeeze again.

  Lord.

  Eventually I settled on an outfit of a black skater dress, faux-suede ankle boots with a slight heel (chunky to maximise balance and minimise the chance of any snapping), a brown jacket to match the shoes and a gold necklace with a little camera pendant. I sprayed stuff in my hair to make it more curl and less frizz, did my makeup (and managed to get my eyeliner almost even! Thank you, YouTube beauty gurus). I studied myself in the mirror. Good. Not trying too hard, but I still looked put-together. Ish.

  I wasn’t super keen on leaving Arnold at home alone, but I made sure she had plenty of snacks and toys to keep her occupied, plus I’d loaded up a couple of games on my iPad that she could play with her snout. She was already better at them than me. She could look after herself for one night.

  Lea and I split an Uber to the hotel. Lea had been a couple of years above me in school, but recently she had been adopted by my friendship group like she’d always been there. Probably because she was just as insane as the rest of us. I noticed her watching me as we made the trip to the hotel.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “You’re unusually quiet,” she said. “You OK?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, all good.” I wasn’t at all nervous that I might run into James. Nope. No way.

  Cough.

  She raised an eyebrow. “Right. Sure.” But she didn’t push it.

  We found the whole gang waiting inside already since Lea and I were late (as always). When they noticed us approaching, everyone stood and hugged us, and a couple of people told me they were glad I hadn’t died. I was glad to see that C and Jo appeared to still be talking to each other like friends. Lea’s friendship magic had held!

  Once everyone had finished greeting us Jo rushed over to me, taking an envelope out of her handbag.

  “It’s an early birthday present,” Jo said as she handed me the envelope. “Seeing as I’m not entirely sure you’re going to make it to your next birthday.” Wow, thanks for the vote of confidence, Jo. She could barely contain her excitement as she watched me open it. I pulled up the back flap and took out the piece of paper inside.

  “Tickets,” I said, reading, “to…”

  “To what?” Lea and Stacey asked in unison.

  I looked up and caught Oswald (Jo’s husband) mouthing me an apology. I tried to stop her, he mouthed, shrugging.

  “To a Gerongate Gators game,” Jo said. “I saw Charlie wearing the shirt the other day and I thought straight away that we should all go to a game together! Won’t it be fun?”

  It was fairly clear that no one but Jo thought it was going to be fun, but we all pretended. You didn’t want to get on Jo’s bad side. I returned the tickets to the envelope and thanked her, already trying to come up with excuses for not going, but my thoughts were interrupted.

  “Hi,” said a voice from behind. My stomach dropped and swooped and turned all in the space of a few seconds like a master acrobat. Yeesh. Lucky I hadn’t eaten yet. Ten guesses who the voice belonged to. “I didn’t know you guys would be here tonight.” Everyone murmured their greetings and I felt James sidle up to me, but I still couldn’t bring myself to look at him. “How are you holding up, Charlie? Last night must have been pretty rough for you.”

  How dare he?

  “Well I personally didn’t find it that traumatic!” I snapped, finally looking up at him. I noticed the amusement on his face and it clicked. He hadn’t meant the kiss-slash-squeeze manoeuvre. He’d meant the whole nearly-being-killed thing. Oops. “I mean, it was a bit scary, but it’s not like it was the first time someone’s tried to murder me, you know? It’s all a bit old hat now.”

  And it took me precisely that long to realise that I was in no way, shape or form ready for a conversation with him. I mumbled some sort of excuse and left the group, heading to the bar to fetch a much-needed drink, but I stopped when I heard someone talking to me.

  “I guess you decided you trust him, then?”

  I turned, finding Adam standing nearby. We hadn’t had a chance to talk since yesterday. I’d been caught up talking to cops while he’d somehow managed to find his clothes before taking Gracie home. It
took me a second to catch on to what he was talking about. Right. James. The kiss. Of course. I looked at him blankly and opened my mouth to respond that yes, I trusted James, but the no words came out. I closed my lips again without saying anything. What the hell? I wanted to agree with him, but I just couldn’t say the words.

  Adam frowned. “You don’t trust him?”

  “No,” I said. “I mean yes. I mean…”

  “Go on.”

  “I… I don’t know.”

  Adam raised his eyebrows and smiled, looking surprised.

  “So you’re pretending that you like him to get information? I’m impressed, Charmander. You’re way more ruthless than I’ve ever given you credit for.”

  I wanted to disagree, but the trouble was that there was a part of me – a part I didn’t really want to acknowledge, but one that existed nonetheless – that didn’t trust James. I knew that this would be a good way to keep an eye on him.

  “That’s not what’s going on,” I said.

  “Sure it isn’t.”

  “I’m not just using him for information,” I said. “I’m not that kind of person. I really do find him attractive.”

  “So you’re using him for his body as well as for information. That’s much better.”

  Adam was clearly enjoying this.

  “That’s not – I don’t – I didn’t –”

  “Heartless. Make sure you marry him before he realises you’re lying, though, so you end up with half of his fortune in the divorce.”

  “It’s not like he’s totally innocent in all this!” I snapped.

  Adam raised his eyebrows. “So you’re admitting that all this is strategic, then?”

  “No! It’s not like that. I like him. I really do. And I don’t think he’s betraying me. I’m just playing it safe.”

  “By spying on him?”

  “No, by…”

  I was coming up blank. Adam was smiling as he watched me squirm.

  “You don’t have to pretend around me,” said Adam. “I won’t tell.”

  “I had a crush on him before I saw him with Harcourt. It’s not like I’m totally fabricating a lie about liking him. I do like him. I just don’t trust him anymore.”