Where We Stand

by Angela White

  Angela placed a hand on the teenager’s arm and the shield above them rippled with purple and orange.

  Angela let go. “I’m sorry.”

  Jennifer knew why she was getting the apology, but didn’t accept it.

  “I don’t blame you. I have a beautiful daughter because of what you did for us. Let that guilt go.”

  Angela didn’t answer. Those who weren’t leaders didn’t understand that you never let it go. It got buried so that the zombie of it could reappear in your dreams.

  “If they saw the ants helping, the outsiders might leave them alone.”

  Angela frowned at the wording, but didn’t correct Jennifer. Each of the groups around theirs had different rules and laws, different customs. It was America, there was supposed to be differences, but she didn’t like it. She also didn’t have the manpower to try integrating any of them at this point and left them under their own care. Marc had known what he was doing by sending them here. She believed that.

  “I’m still not sure how they’ll help,” Angela confessed tiredly. “I just know they will.”

  Jennifer stared at the insects thoughtfully. When she spoke, she sounded like a determined XO.

  “I’ll come up with something.”

  The teenager drifted toward Charlie and Conner while writing it in her book.

  Jennifer was carrying a lot of hate and darkness, but the brain inside those prisons was a gift that Angela intended to use. Kyle may not realize how smart his chosen mate was, but she and Adrian were clear on it. Jennifer had done what they had, what their kind was forbidden to do, and it had made her powerful in a number of ways.

  Angela pushed away the longing for death. Their gifts would be unstoppable when the soldiers came. She would get her fill and then some.

  2

  The sight of Kenn storming through the camp wasn’t anything new. Neither were the blue hands or the blue clothes that refused to be washed of the stains. It also wasn’t unusual to see him with a blue face. The number of balloons that popped when he worked in the supply trucks was astronomical.

  Kenn stomped into the Mess and only a few of the happily eating campers even looked up. When the others did, they swept the signs of his ordeals and then glanced away before the laughter could escape.

  As he stood before them now, there was a feeling of something coming and people walking by began stopping to observe.

  Kenn glanced around, big fists clenched. As he glared, the conversations stopped and more people took notice.

  Angela and Samantha, doing rounds before eating, also paused nearby.

  “I’m sorry.”

  All of them were shocked. Kenn’s next words added to that feeling.

  “I am. I haven’t been that way in a while now and I’m making amends and helping, and damn it, can you please turn my piss back to normal? I almost shit myself.”

  Laughter, thick and needed, rolled over the camp.

  Angela’s was the only one missing. Samantha was still chuckling as she caught up.

  Kenn glared at the happy crowd. “Can I be forgiven now?”

  “I think I’m done,” Allan casually stated, chuckling. “What about you, Jeremy?”

  Jeremy grinned wider. “Yeah, I guess we’ve gotten our money’s worth.”

  Kenn hadn’t expected it to be Eagles and he scowled angrily, but didn’t shout at them like he wanted to.

  “What do I need to do to get rid of the color?”

  Zack cackled from behind him. “It’ll wear off in a few days if no one doses you again. It was Methylene Blue.”

  “Three of you?” Kenn asked, confused.

  More laughter spilled out and Zack shook his head. “No, not exactly. Seth and I turned you blue on the outside. Daryl helped there, too. Kyle did the honor of your insides.”

  “I did the water bucket,” Peggy spoke up. “Almost used cow piss, but the animals aren’t very friendly these days.”

  Snickers came and then more voices confessing:

  “I put the oatmeal in your shoes,” Joseph stated.

  “I switched your rolls of toilet paper for cotton balls glued together,” Jeff snickered.

  Kenn gaped. They’d all been against him.

  “I did the vomit trip,” Tracy laughed from a rear table. “With some help.”

  “Why would you all do that?” Kenn was baffled as they cackled at him.

  “Because I asked them too.”

  Kenn’s stomach dropped. I should have known.

  “Yes, you should have. I told you that you’d pay.”

  Charlie was leaning against the Mess truck in arrogant triumph, and instantly reminded everyone of his absent father.

  Kenn waited, bracing to be struck from his place again.

  “I don’t want that now,” Charlie stated, openly reading his mind. “But there is something you have to do.”

  “What?” Kenn asked warily. He could feel the trap, but couldn’t determine from which direction it was coming.

  “I need a running target for my team practices at night. You’re it.”

  When Kenn started to protest, Charlie turned from the approving Mess with a light warning.

  “Unless you’d rather keep pissing blue. Did you know you were the one who brought back the Methylene? Ironic, huh? We’re gonna start calling you Smurf-balls next.”

  Kenn heaved a resigned grunt as the laughing restarted. “One running target, check.”

  3

  “It’s getting worse here. We can’t recover the bodies or try to dig for survivors. They’re attacking at all hours, returning the favor, and we’re sleeping in shifts as the fighting continues.”

  Marc’s weary voice over Safe Haven’s speakers had all of them in and outside the gate mesmerized with fear and anger. He’d brought every class and activity to a screeching halt as soon as Angela told Kevin to pipe it over the new speakers. Kenn had rigged them up recently for exactly this purpose.

  “We’re pinned in, using the deepest areas so they can’t bunker-buster us out. There are only three days ammunition left and then I’ll have to get mean. If you’re close by and can fight, I need you. If you’re close by and trapped, stay down and get out when they take us. Go to Safe Haven. You’ll be free there.”

  The static came for a few seconds and then Marc’s voice echoed again.

  “If I go to sleep, none of us may wake up. To fill the time, I’m going to tell you a true story. I’m going to tell you what caused the end of our world.”

  Aching, Angela tuned it out. She knew what he was going to say and it would only stir her up when she needed to calm down. Unlike the camp, who needed to know the truth before they would be ready to fight, she needed to un-hear Marc’s desperation. It was killing him that his men were dying. It was what he’d brought them together for and she could feel his sorrow. It matched her own. What awfully good life-takers they’d become.

  “What if he doesn’t come back?”

  Angela shoved the Witch aside and cowered inside her crypt. “You can have it.”

  Greedy enough to want full control, but in love with her host the same as every other demon, the Witch offered another solution.

  “Let Adrian in.”

  Angela wouldn’t do that, not willingly.

  “Just stay where you are and I’ll…”

  “No.”

  The Witch roughly yanked Angela’s arm and shoved her forward. “Then get out of here and go do your job!”

  Forced from her mental shelter, Angela drew her armor on tighter and tried to pretend her soul wasn’t darkening faster than the moon could rise.

  4

  “I want a team put together.”

  Angela’s words were met with unrest instead of the support she’d been expecting.

  “Marc told us what to do when this moment came,” Kevin told her, not making eye contact.

  “No team is allowed to go leave Safe Haven for any type of rescue attempt. He made it very clear that anyone who left you unprotected would
be on the receiving end of his wrath,” Kenn added.

  Angela viewed Kenn in a hateful glower. “I know what your plan is, Smurf-balls. Shut up.”

  Smirks and pointed leers came at her open defiance of Kenn’s power over her. It was a good moment and Angela let the men have it, turning her back to the table.

  She pulled on her falling levels of patience and control, but her voice wasn’t the rock these men were used to hearing.

  “Either I’m the leader here, or I’m not. Put together a team to go pull all our men from that damn base. Do it right now!” she ordered.

  “Or I’m resigning. Tonight.”

  Angela left the Mess amid the protests.

  “He should have foreseen that coming,” Adrian commented.

  Kenn waited until she was out of earshot. “Well?”

  Adrian grunted, rising. “I’ll walk before I take over like this. You all make your own choices.”

  Adrian followed her and those left behind were forced to ignore the possibility of Marc’s displeasure to start making plans. None of them wanted to die or have Marc killed, but it was easier if their current chain of command stayed together and they hadn’t missed that fact.

  Adrian trailed her, but gave plenty of space. She wanted time to think, to figure out what came next. She knew what he’d said, how he longed to be the one who led this mission. Would she send him? He was the only one besides Kenn who might even have a chance at it.

  “No.”

  Her broken tone in his mind was the proof that she wasn’t allowed to do what she wanted either. “Why not? You don’t need me here.”

  Angela stopped at the edge of the perimeter and used a moldy tree for support. “Yes, I do. I don’t want you in the same ways, but I need you and so do they.”

  “You won’t risk them for him.”

  “Never.”

  “It hurts to accept what’s honestly inside, to allow yourself to be who you are. You love the sheep more than your mate, as do all the Eagles. Well, maybe not Kyle anymore, but once Jenny…”

  Angela left him standing there, not caring about his attempts at distraction or the reality check he felt she needed. The pain in her heart was too heavy to carry. If they didn’t go, she would be on her way come dawn. That was the reason Adrian couldn’t be sent. She wasn’t strong now. She was crumbling by the hour and even if she sent him, she might still break and fly to Marc’s side, leaving Safe Haven without a leader. That couldn’t ever happen.

  “It will, though,” Adrian vowed from behind her. “If you leave, I’m duty-bound to protect you. So are the Eagles. If you go, so do we.”

  “And so would everyone else.”

  “Yes. You’ll lead them to slaughter,” Adrian confirmed.

  Angela began silently begging fate to spare Marc. “I want two teams sent instead of one.”

  “You’ll stay here while I relay that?”

  Angela pulled her gun and headed for the training course, where a large group of camp men were being instructed. “You’ll hear me the whole time you’re gone.”

  Adrian still hurried, and he did keep track of her shots echoing furiously across the camp.

  “Another radio report like that and she’ll come to you. We can’t stop her.”

  Adrian sent the message as hard as he could, hoping Angela didn’t pick up on it while she was shooting. Those moments were often daze-like and he had a hope that she wouldn’t. He had his own mental lines to use, but Angela was evolving faster than any descendant he’d ever known and there was no way to be sure that she couldn’t hear him. Adrian listened for a return message from Marc, but there was only a tired hatred that didn’t make it far through Safe Haven’s strong boundaries before it was gone.

  Adrian sighed. He wouldn’t sleep again tonight. Her misery was his now, and not being able to challenge those bonds like he wanted to made for a surly former leader roaming the camp.

  In the QZ parking area, two full teams were preparing for departure. The top Eagles had seen enough by now to understand that Angela had complicated plans to ensure their victory and each of them felt that Marc’s anger was a small price to pay to keep her here and working. Even Adrian hadn’t accomplished as much in this short of time.

  That fact was also on Adrian’s mind as he stepped aside for two team members who were carrying heavy crates from the weapons truck. Despite how deeply he cared and how hard he’d tried, Angela was a better leader. Why?

  “She only lies when she has to, when it serves the good,” his own mental voice spoke up brutally. “You commit sins for your own convenience.”

  Adrian didn’t deny it. Instead, he asked what mattered to him, to the future he could almost taste. “How close is she to giving in?”

  5

  “You should go workout.”

  Angela didn’t stop her restless pacing and those watching scowled when Adrian fell in step with her. If not for Marc’s orders...

  “I can listen if you’d rather talk.”

  Angela sent him a hot glance that made him snap his mouth shut. She was beyond pissed.

  Adrian sighed. His warning to Marc hadn’t gone unnoticed.

  “I’m trying not do anything.”

  The words carried an accusation that made Adrian cringe inside. It said she had to shut up to keep from rocking the boat. His boat. Not Kenn’s or Marc’s, but his. If he wasn’t careful, he could become dead to her.

  Angela waved her shadows off as she neared the tape. “I’ll be out for an hour. Try to keep shit together.”

  Her words were unexpected and it took Adrian a minute to realize she’d gone by her blazer and was moving towards the gate. Her stride was angry, body rigid, and Adrian waved away his own shadow and followed her into the trees.

  Once out of sight of all the camps, Angela slid to her knees.

  “I’m sorry.” Adrian offered, starting to honestly understand how much pain she was in after the answer he’d gotten from that voice inside.

  “I’m staying right here for a while,” she told him tonelessly.

  Angela not fighting was so different from what he’d known that Adrian wasn’t sure what to do. There was no way any of the teams would make it there in time, no way he could rescue Brady and make sure she got what she needed now. Was there?

  “No, there isn’t,” Angela said, starting to shiver lightly from the cool darkness inching further into her soul. “If he dies, so will I.”

  Adrian didn’t doubt that she would waste away, but he did think she would pull out of it with the right tender care.

  Angela’s head snapped up and the red orbs of the Witch greeted him. “How strong do you think she is?”

  Adrian jerked at the blast of anger, stung.

  “She labors for you and these sheep endlessly, and now you’ve taken the one thing she won’t be able to stand losing twice. Save him!”

  Adrian heard the warning, but also heard his own voice telling him that wasn’t entirely true. He fired back based on both responses.

  “She’s done her duty as a descendant and so has Brady. We weren’t put here to have love. We are the givers of it.”

  Adrian grabbed her jaw and forced Angela to listen. “We have a destiny that only a few could ever be strong enough for. You can stand this and anything else they throw. You didn’t kill him. The government has him pinned down. They have us trapped. They always have.”

  Angela’s crimson faded to blue pools of desolation.

  “But I need him…”

  Adrian’s hand smoothed her tanged curls as he smiled sadly. “Our country needs him more.”

  Angela knew it in her heart–it’s why she’d been able to send him at all–but the pain!

  Adrian only knew one way to stop a woman’s pain when it came from heartbreak. If she was pissed, she would keep fighting. He needed to shake her out of the depression and return the fire to her guts.

  “There’s a tiny flame left,” Angela told him. “When it goes out, I’ll know he’s…”

>   Angela froze at the lance of desperate panic and Adrian couldn’t take it. If she hated him a little more, what did it matter? Anything was worth erasing that lost misery she was oozing.

  “I can help you.”

  Angela wasn’t listening. She was blowing carefully on that tiny flame, trying to keep it alive.

  “Angie, will you let me show you something?”

  Angela grunted, but didn’t respond otherwise.

  Adrian leaned forward.

  “You told me to care for her,” he whispered. “And I will.”

  Angela didn’t realize what was happening until she heard the Witch groan. The levels of need in that sound brought her out of the daze to find Adrian’s lips against hers and desire flowing freely between them.

  “Stop!”

  The Witch ripped her mouth away long enough to sneer, “I’m in front, remember? He’s mine. You stay in there and grieve.”

  Angela lashed out in fury and knocked them both to the ground.

  Adrian stayed where he was, trying very hard to remain unaroused. He didn’t like the Witch and that made it easier.

  Angela also stayed where she was, regaining control of her emotions. She wanted to attack him, but she also wanted another of his kisses. She’d now had that magical contact, but didn’t have it. The memory wasn’t there because she hadn’t been.

  Adrian rolled over suddenly. “May I?”

  Angela opened her mouth to scream at him and found no rage left, only a lonely ache that needed to be filled.

  “No...”

  Adrian’s hand on her arm wasn’t a surprise. He’d heard her weak answer and was taking advantage of it.

  “I won’t…”

  “Shh...”

  Adrian’s mouth settled over hers and Angela kicked out, fighting herself harder than she was him.

  “Be still!” the Witch commanded. “For one damn minute, be still!”

  Adrian’s soft lips sent chills over her, lighting up those places she didn’t want him in.

  Adrian wasn’t immune this time. It was Angela allowing his kiss, Angela feeling the pleasure he could give. He moved back reluctantly, ready to bleed. These stolen moments were worth any price she wanted to extract.

  “It makes it so hard for me, knowing you feel that way.”