Where We Stand

by Angela White

  Angela didn’t protest, but she flinched when Adrian’s hand slid overtop hers.

  She surprised them both by not pulling away. “Tired.”

  “When’s the last time you fed?”

  Her face reddened. “Little Rock break.”

  Adrian’s heart jumped. Marc hadn’t gotten much of her before he’d left.

  “Stop it!” she hissed.

  Adrian heard her guilt, followed her into the late-morning fog. “Wait.”

  She spun quickly, upset, and instead of the words that flew to mind, he sent her a vision of the beach, of the perfect picture of her playing in the gentle surf with Brady’s daughter.

  Her face paled, but her eyes lit up with a fierce need that made him smile sadly.

  “I’m waiting.”

  Her voice was bitter. “Patiently?”

  Adrian intentionally thought of how Nancy had wrapped her legs around his waist to keep him close. He’d almost given her what she wanted. “No.”

  Angela’s mouth opened and her jealousy spewed out harshly.

  “If you give away my child, I’ll never be yours.”

  Horrible remorse hit Angela the second it was out and she glowered in pain, tired of his unexpected blows.

  “I hate you.”

  Adrian turned away before she could recognize the triumph or the agony on his face. He added another layer with spikes of lust spiraling through his voice.

  “The only body I’ll spill my seed into now is yours. Think about that tonight when you slide your hand into your jeans and wish it was him.”

  A light boot crunch...

  Adrian ducked the punch meant for his temple and caught her as she stumbled.

  He held Angela tight as the sound of her sobs ripped through him.

  “He’s coming back!”

  Adrian kissed the top of her head, holding her as she cried. “I would.”

  “I want my Brady!”

  Adrian rocked her, ignoring the audience.

  “You have his son,” he gently reminded her, hating himself. “It’s more than most came through with.”

  The tears didn’t stop. It was what the Witch was whispering in her mind and being hit with it from both sides hurt more than she could say.

  Adrian let her get it mostly out and then led her toward her tent, sure she would want a few minutes alone to get herself under control.

  He took a fast look as they ducked inside, verifying it was clear, then left.

  “Oh, Brady!”

  Except now it was complete desolation instead of passion and Adrian swore furiously at fate. If Brady came back, he would have to pay for these actions. If he didn’t, Angela would turn to him in her pain and he would help her recover. She’d never love him the way he needed her to–Adrian understood that now–but at least she would go on, and through her, his people.

  It was always for them and there was only blackness in his heart.

  6

  “Can I talk to you without anyone around?”

  Tonya’s quickly asked question was given as she knelt by him to tie her bootlace.

  In the past, Adrian would have embarrassed her. Now, he gestured toward the empty hair tent. “Ten minutes.”

  Tonya acted like she hadn’t heard him and moved away, heart thumping. She gave a sickly smile to Kenn, who had Point, and went to the showers. She would wait until she was alone and then go out the window and through the rear of camp, where the trees would give her cover.

  Tonya did just that and slipped inside to find Adrian sprawled out on the small cot Candy kept for waiting kids to play on.

  Tonya’s mouth went dry and she stayed by the flap. “I was asked to do something.”

  Adrian raised a brow. “Bad?”

  Tonya frowned uneasily. “I’m not sure. I was asked to lie about something that isn’t a lie, but the way I was asked to do it implies that I’m going to be in trouble if caught.”

  “And you’ve had enough of being in trouble?”

  “Yes.” Tonya’s expression was half remorse, half bitterness.

  Adrian sat up and gestured at the center chair. “Tell me.”

  Tonya perched nervously on the edge of the cold seat. “I was supposed to tell someone that Angela’s lonely and she needs a friend who won’t push until she’s ready.”

  Adrian had already stopped breathing. “Tell to whom?”

  Tonya studied him and Adrian put the pieces together for himself.

  Tonya wasn’t sure if she’d gotten Kenn in trouble. “Should I have told him no or maybe done it? I have no idea how this FND shit works.”

  Adrian studied her, understanding how much she’d changed. “You came to me. That’s the right thing. Kenn’s heart is in a good place, but his brains are in the toilet from being the prankster target of the camp. He thinks she’ll get over it.”

  Tonya shrugged. “Won’t she? You two are a good match.”

  Another statement he’d ever thought to hear from the redhead.

  Tonya caught his surprise, and grunted without amusement. “That’s why you sent me through your reform school right? To change me?”

  “You’ve finally become a decent person, Tonya,” Adrian conceded happily. “You’re right not to let anyone interfere with that.”

  Adrian stood up and gave the woman a shock. He placed a kiss to her cheek in respect. “I know you added your own twist because you agree. It’s okay.”

  Tonya was relieved to hear that, but she didn’t want a peck on the cheek. Kenn’s or not, she still longed for Adrian.

  And he knew it.

  “Would you betray him?” Adrian asked in a seductive whisper, hand tugging on a shortened lock. “We won’t be bothered here.”

  Tonya trembled and did the impossible. “No.”

  Adrian was glad for her. “You’ve rebuilt your life now. Don’t let anyone take it from you.”

  Tonya realized that had been the test and snorted. “She’s gonna have her hands full with you.”

  Adrian sighed miserably. “I certainly hope so.”

  7

  Safe Haven’s next call camp as they sat at the center table and waited for dawn to break so that the camp could, too. It was Jax and the news wasn’t encouraging.

  “We’ve got a few prisoners. We haven’t pulled anyone out of the rubble yet other than the soldiers.... They say there was a Special Forces team monitoring the base, sent for the Ghost. We assume they’re still alive and have sent out patrols to search.”

  Kenn, who’d seen Adrian’s actions in a new light since eavesdropping, leaned over. “Special Forces usually set up outside the hot zone and try to view the target. Then they go in, and kill or grab. They’re pretty good.”

  Kenn acted regretful as the men around them muttered angrily at her gasp of anguish.

  “But Brady’s good, too. You know that,” Kenn tossed in.

  Angela didn’t respond. This was a pain she couldn’t ease, couldn’t escape.

  None of them protested when she left the table before Jax could finish the update call and tell her the two teams had arrived and were helping. Right at that moment, it meant nothing.

  Chapter Twenty Five

  Sloppy Floyd State Park, Georgia

  8/25

  1

  “Set it up, Eagles. Kenn and Kyle have Point.”

  Safe Haven was no longer able to be with only one Point man during the day and evening hours. Only over-night still used that setup, but it would change when Brady returned.

  Searching the area, and also what was ahead of them, Angela flinched mentally and slammed that deeply shrouded door.

  The ‘Sloppy’ park was exactly that. From walkways to public buildings, the mold climbing everything left Angela no choice but to camp them in the middle of the road leading in. The waters were up as well, and it made for an unpleasant walk while patrolling the perimeter. Even the playground equipment was layered with thick, black clumps and the kids had been soothed with an extra hour in the training tent. T
he Eagles couldn’t wait to be gone, but they were also worried about the next stop. Everything in the East was either bad, going bad, or on the edge of areas that were both. Would Lookout Mountain be any better?

  The Eagles rushed out to secure their newest campsite and Angela leaned her head against the seat of the truck that Adrian was driving. Only thirty more miles after this and then they could stop running. They were making better time now. As Safe Haven had traveled over the last weeks, the roads were cleared. Sometimes it was because those towns with survivors wanted them to be gone as fast as possible, but sometimes it was to help. As their convoy passed the last two towns, they’d seen tow trucks putting the wrecks back, hoping to delay the soldiers even though they weren’t going to fight. Some areas had also realized that Safe Haven wouldn’t be able to forage for supplies as easily and were sending in loads of goods in crates and boxes that the Eagles gratefully collected. It eased the burden on them. Their camps, Safe Haven and those around them, were being flooded with wounded from the battles and food was being tightly rationed right now. And through it all, no one could tell her anything new about Marc. Their Ghost had vanished.

  “How does it look?”

  “It’s clear right now, but there’s a shadow overhead,” she answered with that voice of the dead.

  Adrian knew she wasn’t referring to the layers of grit that were lighter or heavier based on what weather blew through the night before. “Can I help?”

  “No,” she answered tiredly. “It’s too dark. Wish I could give you more.”

  So do I, Adrian thought.

  Angela winced.

  Adrian joined the securing teams instead of trying to comfort her. After the ways he’d pushed, she wouldn’t accept it. She mostly hated him now. He’d been successful.

  Angela waited until the clear call came and opened her door. It was a surprise to find Candy standing there.

  The hairdresser didn’t look good. Lee’s murder had been rough on her. She’d closed the hair tent and stayed inside it since the funeral. The only time she came out was when one of the den mothers forced her to shower. Most of the time, Charlie took her a tray. Angela had planned to give her a little more time, then go punch through the grief in much the same way Adrian was doing to her.

  “I’m pregnant.”

  Angela climbed from the truck and gave her a searching look. From the sunken eyes, to the wild locks, it was clear that Candy wasn’t in the right shape to welcome new life into the world.

  “How can I help, Candice?”

  Candy’s shoulders straightened at the name. “Yes, that’s who I am now. Candy’s dead. She was buried with…”

  The hairdresser turned away and Angela braced herself before reaching out. “Candy…”

  Slap!

  Angela caught herself on the truck door, but didn’t return fire. She held the same rage in her heart. She understood it had to go somewhere.

  Candy’s face was blank. She didn’t know why she’d struck out, only that she needed to.

  “I want you in the Kai lessons. When you pass a mental evaluation, you’ll get time on the range.”

  Candy’s voice was toneless. “I want to be on your team. I challenge you!”

  Instead of hitting again, Candy began to cry.

  Angela pulled her close and held her while she sobbed, struggling not to do the same herself. At least in her case, there was still a tiny bit of hope. Candy knew Lee wasn’t coming back and nothing would change it.

  “I accept you.”

  Candy’s sobs became harder and Angela gently pushed her into the arms of the Eagle who appeared the most concerned. “Take her to the doctor. He’ll want to drug her, as he always does, but refuse. Make him actually be a doctor and talk to her. No meds without my approval.”

  Zack led her away without the disapproval he wanted to express. He didn’t like the hand print on Angela’s cheek and neither did anyone they passed. All of them scowled at Candy, but Zack held it in. If she’d deserved a punishment for it, Angela would have knocked her on her ass. That meant she didn’t and Zack followed his orders to the letter. When the doctor insisted he leave, Zack threatened to call Adrian.

  None of them liked the new man. Doc Savage, as he liked people to call him, was still stuck in the old world mindset. When that changed, he might become popular with his patients, but not until he stopped treating them like a number. When he got to know his people, then they could do the same with him.

  2

  Seth stuck to Angela’s side as she went to the bathrooms to keep order. They had four hundred refugees here now and the lines quickly got people into bad moods and short tempers. They had put all the old port-o-lets up, but it still wasn’t enough. No one liked shitting in the woods and Angela didn’t blame them.

  She paused, face clouding for a moment, and Seth waited tiredly. He was anticipating being camped for more than two days at a time. They hadn’t been since they’d left Arkansas and the strain was hanging over all of them.

  “Bathroom tents,” Angela instructed, resuming her stride. “Put the camping setups in them, along with items people need.”

  Seth wrote it down, expanding on it automatically, and went to find Becky. She was quick at tent setups and she needed to do that type of work to help with camp issues. It would get their situation accepted sooner.

  Noting Seth’s slight limp as he left, Angela realized he was exhausted. They all were. It was almost time for a break.

  Angela heard Dog’s soft pad fall in with her and ignored him. Dog wanted Marc found and he wasn’t settling for any other answer.

  “Please.”

  That was something he’d never sent to her and Angela stopped, froze in place by his agony.

  Dog shoved images into her mind, showing her the bond between them, and Angela’s fists clenched. “Why don’t you go find him?”

  “I swore I’d protect you!” Dog snapped, drawing attention from those around them.

  Angela knelt down without fear, and placed a hand on Dog’s jowls. “I love him, too. We have to have faith.”

  Dog ducked out of her touch and stalked into the shadows of the campers being pulled into place.

  Angela grunted unhappily as she rose. If they didn’t hear something from the crew still at the base today, she’d call them and get a final word from the scene. And then remind the camp that Brady wouldn’t have planned to be inside when it collapsed.

  “Yes, he would have and you now it!”

  Charlie’s loud voice carried and Angela couldn’t take much more. She knew that well and she wasn’t sure how she was supposed to comfort her son when she couldn’t do that for herself.

  Feeling her chaotic emotions, Charlie came to her and Angela surrounded him with her love.

  The emotional scene was witnessed by the camp and Eagles, and their pain made for even shorter fuses and guilty laughs that were quickly silenced.

  Those in camp who had lost someone since joining tried to encourage her with small words and gestures, but they knew what was coming and it was unbearable to hear them thinking of all the ways Marc could have been lost.

  “He’ll be back, boy,” she whispered for both of them. “He said he would, and he will.”

  Charlie reached out to wipe at her cheek and Angela chuckled, in the middle of doing the same for him.

  “I love you, Charlie.”

  Charlie flushed. “Same to you, mom.”

  Angela slung a hand around his widening shoulders and went to do her duty.

  Inside, another piece of her soul turned black.

  3

  “Leave him be.”

  Dale stopped with his hand out and Ray quickly slid between him and the wolf.

  “Dog’s okay,” Dale protested, moving around him.

  Dog allowed Dale’s touch, but barred his fangs at Ray.

  Dale protested openly. “It’s not his fault, you know. Or hers. Marc chose this.”

  Dog whined and Dale rubbed his ear. “I wish he was,
too. I always felt safer when Brady was around.”

  Ray realized that Dale had a bond with Dog, and reluctantly backed off. Dog had growled at Angela and Ray hadn’t liked it. It wasn’t that long ago that their working animals had revolted.

  Dog moved away from them. Worried and alert, both men saw the wolf avoid Chris as he came from the animal tent.

  Chris glanced at the wolf, and quickly dismissed the animal, but Dog’s eyes lingered on the vet.

  Dale open his mouth. “Did you...”

  “Shut up,” Ray hissed as Chris joined them.

  Terrible actors, they were saved by Dog’s howl.

  “Woooooo…”

  The mournful sound echoed across the camp, and it continued for the next hour.

  Adrian was the one who got it to stop and it broke Angela’s heart a little more to witness him breaking Marc’s bonds there, too.

  “He gone, Dog. You know that. Your vow to him is over if you want it to be. Go search. I’ll care of her.”

  Dog’s snarl didn’t keep Adrian from sinking down on his haunches.

  “If you think he’s out there, show us where. Jax hasn’t found a sign of him and neither has Kenn.”

  Dog whined.

  “Don’t you think she’s tried to call him?” Adrian refuted. “My mind rings with it at night.”

  Dog slumped down. “I don’t hear her now.”

  Adrian also slid to the ground. How weird it felt to be offering an animal hope!

  “He isn’t answering. Either because he can’t or he won’t. I don’t believe that he can’t.”

  Dog looked Adrian straight in the eyes. “You want her. Of course, you think that.”

  “I do want her, but I also want her to be happy.” Forced to accept it, Adrian glanced away. “I’d give her Brady if I could. I feel it, her misery. It’s only growing and I can’t shake her out of it like I thought I’d be able to.”

  “You underestimated them both.”

  “Yes,” Adrian agreed. “That’s why you should go and find out, Dog. Not for yourself, but for her.”

  That was in his vow, a part of caring for her, and Dog padded toward the QZ gates a second later. He’d only needed a reason he could believe.

  Adrian gestured for Zack to open the gates, but that Eagle glanced to Angela for confirmation. When she nodded, face hardening, Adrian felt the wave of loss. So did the camp. The shield above them roiled a violent red for a brief moment before settling into an ugly green of mixed emotions.