Thoughtless

by Jacqueline Gardner

  "It's not my place to say anything," he responded. "Sharlene, it's time you told her." My mom was afraid. She didn't want to lose me the same way she had lost my dad. She'd spent my whole life trying to shelter me from the world, hoping that I would feel normal one day.

  "Mom?" I looked at my mom. She was frowning. "Mom, what's he talking about?"

  "Sharlene," Agent Squire continued. "Professor Matthews is right outside." Her thoughts went back to many years ago – before I was born. She'd been hiding the past but she knew it would eventually catch up with her.

  "Bridget," she said quietly. "You have to know that I did what I thought was best. I kept you away from all this as long as I could."

  "I don't understand."

  "It's your father, honey," she continued. My heart jumped when she mentioned my dad, she never did. I'd never known him. I'd seen pictures. He had the same blond hair and similar eyes as me. I'd never know anymore than that.

  "What about him? I thought he was dead?"

  "He is," my mom said in a sad voice. "But there's something I never told you. Your father was like you."

  "Like me?" I touched my blond hair. My mom shook her head. She meant the mind reading. I laughed which wasn't the reaction she expected.

  "Rory was right," I muttered. "Big surprise."

  "Bridget," Agent Squires interrupted. "Your father was part of a program designed for people such as yourself." I started to worry. I immediately thought he was suggesting a trip to an institution.

  "I'm not crazy Squires," I said firmly.

  "No it's nothing like that. This is a training program that'll teach you everything you'll need to know for survival."

  "And who's gonna teach me?" I asked. I still wasn't processing his claims. I wasn't even sure he was being serious. "You?" I laughed.

  "This program goes beyond my spectrum of knowledge," he replied. "I'm just a recruiter." It felt strange to imagine myself in a room full of mind-readers. What happened when someone had a thought? Did it relay around the room, going in and out of everyone's head?

  "So what's the point of it, to teach me how to control everything? I don't know."

  "Accepting a spot comes with a lifelong career, Bridget. This is something that you should seriously consider." Agent Squires wasn't joking around. He thought I'd make the perfect student. "This program is privately funded and privately run. I first met its creator, Professor Matthews, when he turned up at our house to visit my sister." I was listening intently now. "His goal is to eliminate the Coven and its many chapters that spread across the globe." My eyes were wide.

  "Oh." That was the only thing I could think to say.

  "Coven members have been killing innocent people for hundreds of years. Professor Matthews was the first one to create a way to beat them."

  "And he wants me?" I pointed at my chest and thought of all the times I'd been picked last in gym class. I'd barely survived Terrence and that was with help. And yes, I had more power than most but I sucked at using it. What had happened was a mistake. I didn't see the power inside me as an excuse to do whatever I wanted. I saw it for what it was – stolen souls and stolen talent.

  "Bridget, you escaped these people once without any training. That's a huge accomplishment." It would've been nice to have some moves to use against Terrence, especially when he punched me in the face.

  "I guess," I sighed. I looked to my mom. She knew that the training would mean my safety, but she was still opposed. My dad spent his whole life hunting down Coven members. He was hardly ever home and when he tried to retire the House of Doom had taken him down. My mom and were in the next room. I gasped. I'd had no idea.

  My mom opened up her memory to that night. All the screaming made her feel like nothing would ever be right again. My dad was able to wound the psycho who broke in but he was powerful. My dad didn't survive. My mom was forced to start over without any help. She left the south and moved west towards the mountains. She lost touch with all her friends and the little family she had. That was the only way.

  "I had no idea," I whispered with a tear in my eye.

  "I just wanted you to be safe," my mom said quietly.

  "I understand." I stroked her hair reassuringly. I looked at Agent Squires. "I can't do it." He frowned but he wasn't going to argue. My mom took a deep breath.

  "You have to," she sighed.

  "But mom, I thought . . ."

  "You already know too much," she interrupted. "They will come for you. You need to be able to protect yourself. I can't be selfish anymore. This is what's best for you."

  "I can't just leave and never come back," I replied, thinking of Emma and Rory.

  "You'll still be able to see your mom," Agent Squires responded.

  I ran my fingers across the bed sheet. I wanted to control this force inside me but I also wanted to finish the school year with my friends – Emma and Rory. And then there was Terrence. What would happen once word of his capture got out? And when the Coven figured out that Dru was dead – what then? I wouldn't be able to sleep. Every noise in the night would haunt me and drive me insane. On the other hand, I'd never been the new kid before. The whole idea kind of scared me. I was never that good at making new friends. I mean, I only had two at the moment. What if everyone thought I was a joke?

  "Take your time with this one," Agent Squires said. He opened the door and let in a short man with white hair. He had on thin glasses and a brown suit that smelled like roses. He had a tiny smile and he walked with confidence. I waited for a thought of his to be pushed into my head. It made me nervous when nothing happened. His mind was blank like Terrence's. He had a wall up but he had worked his entire life to build it.

  "Bridget," the old man said. He reached out to shake my hand.

  "Hi, Professor Matthews?" I still wasn't sure what to decide. The old man nodded. "I'm not the girl you want." I looked down. I felt guilty about taking Dru's life. I knew it wasn't my fault, but I couldn't stop seeing her lifeless body or the look on Terrence's face.

  "Oh but you are," Professor Matthews replied. He spoke firmly like he meant every word. And he did mean every word. "You have great potential. I have no doubt."

  "Honestly, sir. I just got lucky."

  "And destroyed someone worthy of the House of Doom? Not just anyone could've survived Drusilla." I cringed when I heard her full name. No wonder she went by Dru. Who would name their daughter that? "I know you have a lot to think about but I would like to show you what I can offer." I agreed. Professor Matthews opened a door in his head and I was granted a peek inside.

  I saw countryside. There were miles of rich green gardens, all with blooming flowers that housed a huge number of small birds. It was beautiful, and at the base of these gardens was a huge manor made of brick. It looked like it stretched for miles. This was where I'd stay. Inside the manor with its grand staircases and antique furniture were classrooms. These weren't ordinary classes. I'd learn about weapons, hand to hand combat, and ownership of the mind. The Coven trained their members in similar areas. Professor Matthews did his best to give his students higher quality learning. Being stealthy was key.

  I blinked and the manor was gone. Did a place like that really exist? If it did, I'd be stupid to turn it down.

  "You didn't show me any students?"

  "They are forever changing," the Professor replied. "But they are average teens, boys and girls; all are confused and eager to learn just like you."

  "I'm eager to not get killed," I responded. Professor Matthews smiled. He liked my sense of humor. It reminded him of my dad. I gulped when I realized that this was the school my dad had attended. He had walked those halls, learned those same lessons. "So you knew my dad?" Professor Matthews nodded. My mom smiled at me still holding my hand. I felt like this decision was being made for me.

  "Think about it," Professor Matthews said. "This would be a life-changing decision, Bridget. I understand if you need time. Leaving friends and family is always the hardest part."

 
"And is it worth it?"

  "To some . . . yes." He nodded, turning to leave the hospital room.

  "I have a lot to do as well," Agent Squires said. He followed Professor Matthews. My mom and I were alone again.

  "I'm sorry you had to find out this way," my mom sighed. She didn't want there to be any feelings of resentment between us.

  "I want to do it," I replied. Another tear ran down my mom's cheek.

  "I know. I can see it in your eyes. And for what it's worth, your father loved his job. But when you came along, he loved you even more." My chest felt warm. My mom had never spoken this way before. I liked it.

  "I want to hear more about Dad," I said quietly. Now that there were no secrets, my mom felt more comfortable talking about him.

  "Ok," she agreed. "How about I start at the day you were born?"

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Christmas Day

  My room was quiet but downstairs was the sound of chaos. I could hear my mom barking orders as people came in and out with tables and chairs. Our Christmas morning had been the best morning my mom and had spent together in years. I think it was because we'd made a new rule about full disclosure. The lack of secrets in the room cut all tensions down and we were able to laugh and reminisce about whatever we wanted.

  This would be my last Christmas before leaving for Hartfield Manor. Of all places it was in England, Terrence's old stomping grounds. A few plates crashed to the kitchen floor. Even though I was alone, I winced at the noise. Whoever had broken those plates was going to get a scolding. My mom wanted tonight's party to be absolutely perfect. Her entire office, including her boss, would be in attendance. It was a big night for her. And leaving for England was a huge step for me. It was something that would change my life forever. Once summer came, I wouldn't be Bridget Ferns the loner anymore. I'd be Bridget the Brave – fighting off Coven members in my sleep. I hoped.

  I made my mom swear that she'd go after what she wanted. We'd both gotten a wakeup call this fall. Each of us was almost killed. It was time to do what made us happy, no matter what other people thought. My mom wanted the corner office. She wanted to be head Accountant. This party was the first stepping stone. I hated boring office parties with people I barely knew, but my friends were coming. I hadn't seen Rory or Emma since school got out for the holidays. Emma's family went on an early vacation to the Caribbean. She'd just gotten back yesterday. Rory won a wild card spot on some College Research Team that was conducting biomedical experiments. He had a lot of reading to do to get him up to speed. He claimed it was the perfect thing for his college applications.

  I sat at my vanity, staring in the mirror. The new ball of energy inside me always beckoned me to try new things. I'd tried focusing on animals, objects, people – all the stuff Rory had talked about. Dru's powers were now my powers. But I was still lousy at using them. I could push thoughts wherever I wanted. A whole new range of possibilities had opened up to me because of that. I stared at my lip gloss.

  "Come to me," I muttered. I pushed my demand into the tube of lip gloss. It slowly floated through the air on its own and eventually landed in my hand. I smiled with delight, but this was all I could manage to do so far – make my cosmetics move. I'd been doing it all month. And yes, I was starting to get lazy because of it. Walking across the room to grab nail polish felt like a hassle.

  I put on the shiny lip gloss. It was sort of a plum color, very Christmassy. It went well with my dark green turtleneck and black skirt. Skirts were something I never wore, but I was craving change. That's why I cut my hair. The haircut I chose went to my shoulders, almost like a bob. It made me look different. My hair had been long my whole life and a natural shade of dirty blond. I wanted a new color. I wanted to be the blondest of the blond. I chose to go platinum. Emma went nuts when I told her.

  "You're bleaching out your gorgeous hair? Are you insane?" she had argued. It was a good thing I didn't mention wanting the nose ring. One day, I'd build up the courage to get one.

  Emma, of course, changed her mind when I came home from the hair salon. She got more and more used to it, and so did I. I loved it. I ran my fingers through my platinum blond strands. It was the perfect color for now. I could already feel an inkling inside me saying Go brunette – maybe next year.

  "Bridget!" Mom shouted from downstairs. The party was starting in less than two hours. It was time for me to pitch in. I stood up, opening my drawer and grabbing my early Christmas gift from Professor Matthews. It was something to get me by until I joined him at Hartfield. I switched open the small metal blade. It smelled like spices. In his letter, the Professor said that was a bad thing. I wasn't allowed to touch it. The spicy smell was a side effect of the poison embedded inside. It was a mixture that only a Coven member would recognize.

  I closed the knife. Its handle had been customized with engravings of hummingbirds and vines. It was a piece of art. I couldn't wait to learn more about it. I stuck the knife in my bra. It was the best place for it, I thought. I never liked the bulge in the pocket of my jeans. My drawer held an assortment of other things – knives, pepper spray, a few stun guns. My mom had drawn the line at a real gun. I was paranoid, and these toys brought me piece of mind, for now. I'd never used any of them and I hoped that I would never have to. But it had only been two months since Terrence was locked up. Dru was dead which meant that he was taking the fall for all the girls that were killed.

  I shut my weapons drawer and adjusted my sweater. Jogging down the staircase, I felt like I was entering a new world. The front room and the family room had been cleared out. All our furniture was in the basement. Tables with crimson colored tablecloths had been setup. They matched the centerpieces – huge poinsettia plants. A buffet table was laid out. The silver trays and serving platters made it look really classy. And I especially loved the antique-looking wooden chairs my mom had rented for the tables. They made everything look rustic.

  "Looks awesome!" I smiled, probably over-exaggerating to make my mom feel more confident. She'd insisted on hosting this party even though the doctor had ordered her to rest.

  "Thanks honey," she replied taking a sip of water. "I'm really nervous about tonight."

  "I know. We've never done anything like this before." I gave her a disappointed look. She was still wearing jeans. "Mom! You need to get changed."

  "I can't," she replied. "The caterer is due here any minute and I still haven't heard from the band. They need to hurry up and set up their equipment if they're going to start playing music in time." She was starting to sweat. She wanted this night be flawless. She'd invited potential clients – a big move for her – and everything needed to be perfect.

  "Don't worry," I reassured her. "Everyone will be impressed. I'll be sure to tell you so." She smiled. I took her cup of water and set in on the counter, scooting her towards the stairs. "I'll let the caterer and the music guys in. You go upstairs and shower." My mom smiled again and nodded, rubbing the scar on the back of her head.

  The doorbell rang. I ran to answer it. The caterer needed to get moving and set up the buffet. My stomach was growling. I was saving my appetite for the fancy desserts and eggnog. I pulled open the door, hoping to smell something tasty coming from the driveway. Instead I saw Rory. He was dressed in a button up collared shirt. It was the same shade of green as my sweater. The color brought out his eyes. I was impressed to see his hair gelled and he was a wearing his new pair of glasses, much thinner frames that didn't crowd his face.

  "Nice shirt," I said. "But now I'm gonna have to ask you to go home and change. Green is my thing, not yours." Rory stepped inside anyway.

  "This is your house. It makes more sense for you to change." He chuckled and held the door open. "The food people are right behind me."

  "Good." I waited and saw a line of people with white boxes come rushing inside. They all wore matching black shirts paired with red vests. Their shoulders had a small dusting of snow. We'd gotten snowfall this morning. It was just enough to cover every lawn
and line the streets with white. Little snowflakes were falling again. "The kitchen is just over there."

  "Where's your mom?" Rory asked. "At least I know I'll get a friendly greeting from her."

  "It's nice to see you," I muttered. Rory smiled.

  "It's nice to see you too, Bridget."

  "My how the days have been dreary since our last meeting," I continued.

  "Getting ready for your senior year abroad?" Rory laughed and followed the catering staff to the kitchen. I glanced outside. There was a white van in the driveway. The doors were open and there were stacks of boxes inside. I left the front door unlocked and joined everyone in the kitchen. The smells made me even hungrier.

  "So," I said leaning against a counter with my arms folded. "What are college boys like?"

  "You mean the kind I hang out with, or the kind you want to hang out with? Because I don't think any of the guys on my research team are your type."

  "Haha," I said in a monotonous tone. "See if I ever try and compliment you again."

  "You haven't," he replied, ". . . ever."

  "Well sometimes I think it." I had a playful smirk on my face. Rory and I never had an encounter that didn't involve teasing and sarcasm.

  "Oh, if only I had the power to read your mind."

  "Good one," I murmured. There was a knock on the door. "Come in!" More shoes clanked against the tile floor. It was the band. They carried in their instruments, sporting expensive looking cases. The house was now full of chatter, although not many people were talking. I blocked off what I could. I could control my mind-reading now. When something was too overwhelming, I had a solution.

  "You can set up in that corner over there," I said pointing to the corner near the buffet table.

  "Look at you ordering people around," Rory commented. "You're a natural." I rolled my eyes.

  "You heard from Emma today? She said she'd be by soon." I checked the time. One hour until the party started. Rory shook his head. He'd been too busy with his research assignments to keep up with anyone.