Making Her His

by Lucy Leroux

  Elynn laughed. “I said misogamy, not misogyny. Misogamy is the hatred of marriage.”

  “Oh. Well, no. Besides, I don’t hate marriage,” he protested, refilling her wine glass.

  She raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Who are you and what have you done with Alex?” she asked, laughing before taking a sip of her wine.

  “People change,” he said, looking at her intensely, unsmiling.

  The air seemed to swirl with unspoken meaning. She blinked and changed the subject. “How are you going to get the car up to London? Did you rent a trailer or something?”

  “No, I rented a house,” he announced with a big smile.

  “What?”

  Elynn turned beet red. She had practically yelled that. Twisting to look around them, she quickly scanned for irate diners. Luckily they were in a relatively private corner of the restaurant in a cozy little booth. There were no witnesses to her outburst.

  “I decided to do the work on the car myself. And I decided to do it here. So I rented a house outside of town. I’m going to come down on the weekends to work on it,” Alex said, leaning more deeply back into his chair as their dessert arrived.

  “Can you even fix a car?” she asked in genuine surprise.

  “I assure you, I am more than capable,” he said, shooting her an indignant scowl.

  “Sorry. I didn’t know being a grease monkey was on your long list of accomplishments,” she teased, aware she was one of the few people who could get away with talking to him like this.

  “Well, it can…sort of. I decided not to take the car to London until I can drive it there myself. And it’s not going to be in any shape to do that anytime soon. So I took a place here.”

  Despite the opulence of the house Costas had used as a primary residence since Alex was a boy, she just couldn’t picture him anywhere else but the bachelor pad he called home.

  “That’s some plan. I just can’t picture you down here. Or living in a house,” she said.

  “I grew up in a house.”

  “I know,” she said, “but now I can’t see you ever having lived there.”

  His mouth quirked up on one side as he leveled his gaze right into hers. “I think I’m going to surprise you.”

  ****

  Elynn was terribly flustered. She had less than an hour to get ready. After spending all morning cleaning, she had gotten a late start on preparing dinner. Luckily for her, the deep-dish pizzas were ready early, and so were the assorted hors d’oeuvres. She rushed to set the table for eight people, and then ran to take a shower. She had just finished when the doorbell rang. Wrapping a towel around herself, she checked to see who had arrived so early. Peering through the peephole, she swore under her breath. Alex was standing there in her hallway in his shirtsleeves and a pair of casual slacks.

  “You’re early. I’m not ready yet,” she called through the door.

  “Let me in. I’ve got ice cream, and it’s going to melt.”

  Elynn felt a thrill of panic course through her. Swallowing her apprehension, she shrugged off her momentary discomfort. It was just Alex. She opened the door and backed away to her bedroom quickly.

  Alex swept into the room holding a bag with a foil lining. He stopped short, his attention fixed on her towel. Her very small towel. His mouth fell open slightly.

  Elynn blushed and continued to back away. “Go ahead and put the ice cream away. The freezer is just through there,” she said, pointing to the kitchen.

  She ran to her bedroom and shut the door, catching a glimpse of him as she did so. He had closed his mouth, but his chiseled cheekbones sported a slight blush of his own.

  Oh God.

  Elynn was more than embarrassed now. She and Alex weren’t close enough for the type of display she’d just made. She had obviously shocked him—and herself—a bit.

  Why didn’t I ask him to wait outside?

  Catching sight of her red face in the mirror, she forced herself to relax. Taking several deep breaths, she did one of the relaxation exercises her therapist had taught her long ago. After a few minutes, her racing heart had calmed enough for her to get dressed.

  “Who is the Dude and why does he abide?” Alex asked when she joined him in the kitchen.

  She glanced down at the first clean t-shirt she’d found and put on. “Have you not seen The Big Lebowski?” she said, grabbing at the conversational opening as if it was a life raft.

  She proceeded to give him a complete synopsis of the movie followed by an admonishment to watch it.

  “Why do I need to? You just told me everything that happens. You didn’t even say spoiler alert,” he said, laughing and shaking his head.

  “That’s no reason not to watch it! It’s a cult classic,” she replied, taking the pitcher of iced tea and lemonade she had made earlier from the fridge.

  She puttered around, making small talk and getting everything ready while he leaned on the kitchen counter, watching her every move. Feeling unreasonably hot, she went to the windows and threw them wide open to let in the night air. I might need to turn on the AC, Elynn thought, willing her embarrassed flush to fade away.

  “What kind of ice cream did you bring?” she asked when there was a lull in the small talk.

  Alex went to the freezer to dig out the tubs. He displayed the exotic flavors with a flourish and assured her it was the best artisanal ice cream available in the area. She smiled in genuine amusement. Alex had to have the best of everything.

  Elynn was suddenly seized by anxiety. Her friends weren’t anywhere close to the sophisticated and rarified social circles Alex was used to. She herself usually avoided any social functions that forced her to mix with high society. Large groups made her uncomfortable, although after four years of being in the Hanas family circle, she had learned to cope with the odd party or business function.

  “I can tell you’re disappointed,” Alex said, breaking her reverie. “I know what you really want.”

  Smiling, he pulled out a half pint of her favorite ice cream, Strawberries and Cream Haagen-Dazs. She let out a squeal as she took it and thanked him profusely. She put it back in the freezer to avoid temptation and asked him for the tenth time if he was sure he wanted to eat with all her friends.

  “Stop repeating yourself. I told you I want to meet them, and that is that.”

  Chastened, Elynn twisted the dish towel she was holding. “It’s just they’re all lab grunts. In different labs, of course, but you know they’re not…fancy. And neither is the food I made, just so you know,” she finished with a warning finger.

  “You’re no grunt paidi mou,” he replied, crossing his arms and looking even more forbidding.

  “Don’t cross your arms like that. You’re going to terrify my friends,” she chided as the doorbell rang.

  Relieved to escape for a few minutes, she went to open the door for Eric. “Fred is going to be late,” he told her breathlessly while shrugging out of his coat.

  Elynn laughed as she took in his appearance. Eric was dressed to the nines in a sleek new suit and tailored shirt. Even his shoes shone from a fresh coat of polish.

  “Trying to impress someone?” she asked with a raised brow.

  “Who me?” he asked, doing a little twirl for her before joining in the laughter.

  Alex walked in while they were still laughing. She rushed to introduce the two of them and then went back to the door to let in her other friends. Everything is going to be fine, she thought as she turned to Alex with a smile.

  A scant half hour later, she was praying for death.

  ****

  Elynn didn’t know what had gone wrong. All of a sudden, Alexandros was doing his best impression of an iceberg. He was talking in single syllables and wouldn’t crack a smile, despite the collective efforts of her friends to entertain him. She wanted to throw her pizza pan at his head.

  The stilted conversation limped along painfully. Furious, she shot him a heated glance at odds with the frozen smile fixed on her face. Eric, who see
med to be getting the worst of the deep freeze, jumped up as if he was on fire when the doorbell rang.

  “That must be Fred,” he said, nearly running out of the room.

  Elynn leaned over to Alex. “What is wrong with you?” she hissed.

  “Nothing. Your friends are…charming.”

  His stiffness and taut features contradicted his words. Elynn opened her mouth to say something scathing when Eric walked in with Fred. Fred was the more flamboyant partner in their relationship and didn’t sit down until he had done his rounds of air kissing everyone he knew. He bravely introduced himself to Alex and sat next to Eric after giving his partner a meaningful look and a reassuring squeeze of his hand.

  Sometimes you need a gay guy to rescue a dying party. When Fred arrived, Elynn had already resolved to either ignore Alex’s grim and inexcusable behavior or take him out back and shoot him. But with Fred’s brash and amusing conversation, the evening took a turn for the better. Soon Alex was joking and telling witty anecdotes that had everyone laughing out loud. Elynn gave Fred a grateful smile as she sipped a Pinot Noir from the case Alex had sent her.

  Lingering over dessert after the others had left, Eric and Fred peppered Alex with questions about Sonia Steele and the other famous women he’d been associated with over the years. Sipping a French Armagnac he’d brought with him, Alex skillfully evaded their questions without becoming angry, much to Elynn’s relief. She finally had to rush the pair out before he had a change of heart and lost his temper. Alex had been very mercurial lately, and he’d indulged her friends far longer than she would have dreamed. She closed the door behind them with a sigh of relief.

  “They’re a nice couple,” Alex said from behind her.

  “Yeah, they’re great. They have a lot of fun dinner parties at their place. They love to entertain. They’re a lot better at it than I am,” she said, collapsing against the door.

  “I think the evening was a decided success. I even liked the pizza. Never had deep dish before,” he said.

  “Yes, well, eventually it was a success,” she replied pointedly.

  Alex flashed her a guilty glance. “You’re right. I want to apologize for earlier,” he said uncomfortably. He shoved his hands into his pockets and stared at her as if he was trying to decide what to say. “I was suffering from a misapprehension about something. It…upset me,” he said finally.

  “About what?” she asked with a frown as she began to clear the dishes.

  “It’s not important now.”

  Elynn studied Alex’s tall, tense figure and the way he avoided making eye contact. He seemed genuinely upset. She didn’t know why he was being so evasive. Her stepbrother was unfailingly direct about most things, even to the point of bluntness. She felt her annoyance melt into concern.

  “You know you can tell me anything,” she said, watching him with wide eyes.

  “And I will someday…soon. Why don’t you give me a tour of your flat,” he said. “You didn’t get the chance earlier.”

  “Well, there’s not much to see,” she said, deciding not to pry for now.

  She led him through the small series of rooms. He asked about the different mushroom cultures in the corners and smiled as he walked toward her with his hands in his pockets.

  “And the bedroom?” he asked.

  “Err…it’s right here.” Elynn took him to the door of her room. “Also not much to see.”

  Alex looked over her bedroom with interest. Glad she had made an effort to pick up her dirty laundry, she watched him examine her bed, which was large for her but probably seemed pretty small to him. Her laptop was on an adjoining table, and her closet stood open on her simple wardrobe of mainly dark colors.

  “Nothing frilly or feminine in sight,” Alex observed as he ran his hand over her mostly bare dresser. “How different you are,” he murmured.

  Elynn frowned. “Different from who?”

  “Hmm? Oh, no one, I was just talking aloud,” he said before turning around to face her. “It’s a little spartan,” he said, gesturing to the bare walls. “No paintings or pictures. Not even a mushroom poster.”

  “I’m not much for decorating,” she said with a shrug.

  The gifts he’d given her over the years were prominently displayed in her cozy living room. But there weren’t many decorations in her bedroom. She did have a few framed photos on the bedside table behind her laptop, but they were only visible from the bed when she closed the laptop—which she did every night at bedtime. There was one of her with their parents and another picture of her and Alex on her last birthday. He went over to pick up the photo of the two of them with a smile.

  “I never seem to have the time or the energy to hang stuff up,” she explained as he put the photo down next to the laptop, where it would always be visible.

  Feeling unreasonably anxious, Elynn made herself cross the threshold so she would be with Alex inside the room. She wanted to show him her collection of postcards, which she kept under the bed. Whenever Alex travelled on business to a city she had never visited, he sent her a postcard. She had tons of them and had organized them into an album of sorts using a binder with transparent dividers, so the message on the back would still be readable.

  The postcards, combined with Alex’s stories, had inspired a deep desire to travel, but so far she had only done so with Costas and Mary. She hadn’t worked up the courage to travel alone, and going with the one or two girlfriends she was close with didn’t seem safe enough.

  Feeling silly for being nervous, Elynn took a deep breath and went over to pull out the binder from underneath the bed. She sat and opened it to display her collection.

  “I saved all of your postcards,” she said, handing him the binder.

  Alex took the album with a widening of his eyes. “I didn’t expect you to keep these,” he said with a soft smile as he flipped through the pages. “This is like our whole history.” Embarrassed, Elynn didn’t say anything until he finished and handed the binder back to her. “I should let you get ready for bed,” he said. “I’m going to break in my own at the new house tonight. It’s my first night there. Tomorrow I tackle the SS100.”

  Elynn put the folder back under the bed and followed him out of the room. He paused at the front door and pulled her in for a hug. Startled, she hugged him back. It was different from the quick and polite hugs they exchanged on birthdays.

  Alex had pulled her body in so close that it was pressed completely against his. She was so much shorter than he was that the top of her head only reached his shoulder. Her legs were touching his and she could feel his heartbeat under her temple. It felt very fast, but she wasn’t entirely sure because her own blood was rushing in her ears.

  Feeling very hot and awkward, Elynn took a deep breath to calm herself. Instead, she inadvertently inhaled Alex’s scent, drawing it deep into her lungs. It was heady stuff, vaguely spicy with hints of vanilla, traces from his soap. Her chest tightened and she took another deep breath. The tips of her breasts were incredibly sensitive as they made contact with the top of his hard abs. And then she felt something else.

  Alex seemed…aroused. Startled, she tensed, and in the next heartbeat, he released her.

  “Good night,” he said, lifting her face to his with a hand on her chin.

  He studied her face before kissing her softly on the forehead. Then he left. Confused, Elynn stared at the closed door for a long moment.

  That was weird.

  ****

  Fucking idiot. Alex got into his car and sat there for a long while, willing away an uncomfortable erection. Rolling down the window, he breathed in the cool night air until the heat in his veins began to fade.

  Laughing to himself, he shifted his erection to give it more room. He had never felt so hard and hot, and all he had done was hug Elynn. Which may have been too much for her, he realized, slamming his hands on the steering wheel in frustration.

  Everything had been fine for a few precious moments. Elynn had been confused, but s
he had been soft and compliant in his arms. And then he had grown hard. He hadn’t been able to help it. He’d let go right away but she must have noticed—it was probably why her whole body had stiffened.

  Alex laughed bitterly about his stupid assumption about the redhead, Eric. He’d been pushed straight into a cavemen rage by an over-affectionate and demonstrative gay man. One with a little crush on him, if he’d been reading the vibes correctly. And now he’d gone and scared Elynn. For years, he’d kept his distance, respecting her unspoken boundaries, even if it had been hell on him.

  She had felt so right in his arms. Jesus. His heart was still pumping too fast. One simple hug had opened the floodgates of desire in him. There was no going back for him now.

  But would Elynn want him in that way? Or would her fears always lie between them? Or worse, what if she did want someone in her life someday, but not him? Not as anything more than an unofficial brother? Should he keep waiting?

  Alex stifled a curse. He couldn’t, not anymore. It would drive him fucking insane. Crazier than he already was. And really, Elynn would be happier once they were together. They would take things as slow as she wanted. Once she knew she was his, everything would fall into place. For both of them.

  Chapter 4

  Elynn stared at the message on her phone, trying to decide how she felt. Alex had texted her on and off for the past few weeks. He had been unable to spend the last few weekends in Oxford working on the car because he’d had to go to New York for a series of meetings. And Elynn was relieved. She’d managed to convince herself that the hug was nothing. It couldn’t have possibly meant anything to him. He’d only forgotten whom he was with for a minute.

  Her preoccupation with the hug was starting to drive her nuts. She needed to get her mind off it. But Alex had been texting a lot more than usual, keeping him fresh in her mind. At most, he used to call her once a week—twice if they hadn’t seen each other at brunch recently. And his calls had always been short, friendly inquiries about her life and her work.