Life Support: Escape to the Country

by Nicki Edwards

  He chuckled, clearly not in the least offended. “Yeah, true. You must be sick of hearing my voice. Anyway, I came over to talk to you about last night. You stormed off and left me hanging. You owe me an explanation, Emma. I wouldn’t have kissed you if I’d known you were married—”

  “I’m not married,” she retorted, interrupting him.

  He blinked, flustered. “What do you mean? You told me Lleyton is your husband.”

  She rolled her eyes. “No. What I told you was it’s complicated.”

  Josh sat next to her. “So why don’t you explain it to me?”

  Emma glanced at her phone and checked the time. “It’s a long story and the next session is about to begin.”

  “Skip it.”

  “But don’t you have to be somewhere now?”

  “No. I’m doing the session straight after lunch. I was about to head back to my room when I saw you sitting here.”

  Emma sighed and eased back in her seat.

  Josh leaned closer and lowered his voice. “How about you tell me what’s so complicated? I happen to find you incredibly sexy, and I thought there was chemistry between us. But right now I’m trying to get my head around the fact that last night you said you were married and your in-laws caught the two of us kissing and now you’re telling me you’re not married after all.” He shook his head. “You have to admit, you’re sending out screwed signals.”

  Emma ran her fingers through her hair. “I told you last night I’m not that kind of woman. I’m not the kind who dresses flirtatiously and sits in bars drinking and waiting for men.”

  Josh leaned closer and his thigh grazed hers. She jumped at the touch and moved away. He leaned in again. “And I’m not that kind of guy either.” He lowered his voice. “But you have to admit, that kiss – wow. What we had together last night was—”

  “Nothing,” Emma said, edging further away. “It was nothing and it can’t be anything. Ever. Like I said, my life is kind of complicated right now.”

  That was an understatement.

  They fell silent again as they waited until the other conference attendees made their way back into the main room. Soon the two of them were left alone in the heavy carpeted stillness of the hotel foyer.

  Josh’s eyes had darkened. “And I repeat, why don’t you explain it to me?”

  He was right. She did owe him an explanation, but she wasn’t used to sharing personal information with a complete stranger. She found it hard enough to talk to her closest friends or her mum about what was going on.

  She grabbed her water bottle and unscrewed the lid, but didn’t take a drink.

  “I got an email yesterday afternoon. I found out Lleyton Chirnside – my husband – Winston and Mary-Margaret’s son – has agreed to a divorce. We’ve been separated for the past six months – ever since the night I found out he was having an affair.”

  Josh stiffened before shifting position in the chair and sitting forward again. “Whoa. Okay. Sorry. I did not see that coming.”

  “Neither did I. When you saw me last night at the bar, I was attempting to drown my sorrows in cocktails.” Unsuccessfully, she should have added.

  She stood, gathered her handbag in both arms and clutched it to her chest like a shield. “Josh, it’s been lovely meeting you and I appreciate you taking the time to listen to me, but—”

  “Can I call you?” he interrupted. “When the divorce is through and the dust has settled?”

  “No. I’m really not interested.”

  Disappointment flicked across his face and his shoulders sagged. “Another lifetime perhaps?” he suggested.

  She shook her head. “No.”

  And she meant it. He was a nice enough guy, but Josh Spencer wasn’t going to play any part in her future. The only reason she’d kissed him was because he reminded her of Tom.

  Tom. Darn him. And Lleyton. In fact, darn all men in general. Without them she wouldn’t be in this mess.

  *

  The next day Emma flew back to Melbourne, and for the rest of the week didn’t sight Lleyton once. Even though they were separated, they still lived together in the house. He’d moved into one of the many spare bedrooms in their house and they rarely saw one another. He had clearly gone away somewhere – all his toiletries were missing from the bathroom and two suits and half a dozen shirts were gone from his wardrobe – but typically, he hadn’t bothered to leave her a note. Not that she cared anymore.

  On Sunday night, she was home alone. Her belly rumbled, reminding her she’d skipped lunch. She crossed the kitchen and opened the fridge. Unfortunately, the food fairy hadn’t visited. Her meager choices included a couple of bruised Pink Lady apples, a tub of out-of-date passionfruit yogurt and a cling-wrapped block of cheese. Was that mold? She shuddered before tossing the cheese in the trash. The freezer was as barren as the South Pole. Her offerings were a loaf of white bread and her emergency stash of honeycomb ice cream. She’d been saving it for an extreme disaster, but figured with the weekend she’d just had, it classified. She scooped the dairy bliss into a bowl and headed back to the lounge as her phone rang.

  “Mum.”

  “Hello love.”

  Emma visualized her mum sitting at the kitchen table in their house in Birrangulla, a regional town five hours’ drive west of Sydney. Her parents had lived in the same love-filled weatherboard house since moving from Ireland to Australia when Emma was six and she couldn’t imagine them ever leaving.

  Sean and Lorraine would have eaten their weekly roast lamb dinner, washed and put the dishes away and Lorraine would be sitting at the table enjoying a quiet cup of tea and a Tim Tam or two. Sean would be sitting in front of the television in his favorite recliner, feet up, watching the football. Or more likely, yelling at the umpires.

  “I’m so sorry I haven’t called lately,” Emma said, trying to shake off the guilt. She missed her parents dreadfully.

  “That’s all right, love, we know how busy you are at work.”

  “How are you? How’s Dad?”

  “We’re good. We looked after Annabel today while Kate worked, so we’re pooped.” Annabel was Emma’s brother Joel and his wife Kate’s first child, an adorable five-year-old pocket rocket.

  “How is my gorgeous niece?” Emma asked.

  “Growing up too fast.”

  Emma smiled at her mum’s tone. She might sound like she was complaining, but her mum was born to play the role of doting grandmother. Her mum only worked one day a week at the local primary school as a teacher’s aide and claimed she had plenty of free time to babysit. She also never hid the fact she wished there were more babies on the way.

  “Annabel is a cutie,” Lorraine continued with a chuckle, “but she gives us the run around.”

  “And Joel and Kate? How are they doing?”

  When Joel met and fell in love with Kate, Emma had initially found it extremely difficult to accept the woman who had helped mend her brother’s broken heart. She still cringed at the memory of how petulant and childish she’d been in the early days of their relationship. Thankfully, she and Kate were now good friends and it had been Kate who had inspired Emma to become a nurse not long after they met. Joel and Kate were happily married and ran the hugely popular and extremely successful paddock-to-plate farm and café, Eagles Ridge.

  “They’re both busy too. I hope they haven’t taken on too much with the farm because Kate’s looking very tired lately.”

  Kicking off her shoes, Emma plonked herself down on the couch to settle in for a good chat with her mum. She switched off the television so she could concentrate on their conversation and it plunged the empty old house into a lonely silence. She got up again, flicked the gas on the imitation log fire, and watched as the blue flames became orange. Heat quickly permeated through the coldness of the room.

  “I miss everyone,” she said.

  “You can always visit,” Lorraine said softly. It wasn’t accusatory. “You could do with some time off. You work so hard.”


  Emma sighed. She hated lying to her mum but she didn’t want to admit she was now on two weeks’ annual leave and had no plans other than to talk to Lleyton about the divorce and settlement. If he ever came back to the house.

  “I’ve just come back from Sydney,” she said. “I went to a conference.” She spooned ice cream into her mouth.

  “A conference is not the same thing as having time off,” Lorraine replied.

  “I know.”

  “Is everything all right?”

  Emma ignored the question. “Anyway, the conference was good. I learned a lot.”

  “What are you not telling me, love?” Lorraine asked.

  Typical. Nothing got past her mum. Her invisible radar picked up when anything was wrong with one of her kids, even over the phone. Emma wished she’d inherited even a small portion of her mum’s intuition. Maybe then she might have guessed Lleyton’s secret.

  “What’s wrong darling?” Lorraine repeated. “You’re miles away tonight.”

  She imagined her mum shoving her glasses up the bridge of her nose with one finger. Squeezing her eyes tight, Emma placed her unfinished bowl of ice cream on the coffee table. She would not cry.

  “Nothing.”

  “What’s wrong with Emma?” In the background, she heard her dad’s question.

  Emma forced a smile. Her dad would be pretending to watch the football, but he’d be listening to every word of Lorraine’s end of the phone call and would give his wife the third degree afterward.

  “Is it Lleyton?”

  “Sean.” Her mum’s voice held a warning tone. “We’ve talked about this. Don’t keep putting Lleyton down.”

  “Tell Dad I’m fine.”

  “Is it Lleyton?” Lorraine said softly. “Is something wrong?”

  “I don’t even know where to start.”

  “The beginning is usually the best place.”

  Her mother’s Irish lilt washed over Emma like a comforting blanket.

  She opened her mouth to say something and closed it again. How to begin?

  “Come on love, I’m all ears.”

  Emma knew her dad couldn’t hear, but she lowered her voice anyway. “Lleyton and I are getting a divorce.”

  Lorraine sighed. There was a shuffling sound on the other end of the phone and Emma pictured her mum getting up and moving into another room to hear her better.

  “Oh love. I knew things weren’t good between you two, but I didn’t expect it was bad enough you would go your separate ways. Although now I think about it, Lleyton was very distant when I came down at Easter.”

  “We’ve been separated since New Year’s.”

  “What do you mean? I saw you both together when I stayed with you.”

  “He had moved into one of the spare bedrooms. I didn’t want you to worry, so I didn’t say anything.”

  “So you’re still living together then. You could work this out?”

  Despite herself, Emma smiled. Lorraine had never warmed to Lleyton, but she was ever the optimist when it came to love and happy-ever-after endings.

  “Yes, we’re still living in the same house, but no, this can’t be worked out.”

  “Why? What’s he done?”

  Emma inhaled deeply. “He had an affair.” As she spoke, fresh anger bubbled up. “I feel so betrayed, Mum,” she said, sniffing and stabbing at the tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

  “When did you find out?”

  “On New Year’s Eve. I was meant to work a twelve-hour shift but it got changed. I finished early and found them at home getting ready to go out to a party.”

  That was all Emma was prepared to say about it. Revealing the full details of Lleyton’s affair was still too painful.

  “I was so angry. I stormed out, slamming the front door so hard the mirror which hangs on the wall in the entry shattered into a trillion pieces.” She sniffed again, remembering the ugly tears she’d cried at the time. “How many years of bad luck do you think that will bring?”

  “Where did you go? What did you do?”

  “I drove around aimlessly for about four hours bawling my eyes out until all the fireworks started going off around the city. I realized I was low on fuel and I’d left everything back at the house. My handbag, my wallet, my phone. When I got home, all the glass had been cleaned up and there was no sign of Lleyton. He hadn’t even left me a note. He didn’t come home for three days.”

  “Oh, love.”

  “I was so angry because I’d confronted him only six months earlier. We were talking about starting a family – well, I was at least – and he didn’t seem that excited about being a dad. When I asked him why, he hesitated. Wouldn’t give me an answer. So I asked him then if there was someone else. He denied it and I believed him. I took his word for it. I assumed he just wasn’t ready to have kids yet.”

  “And you never suspected anything?” Lorraine asked gently.

  Emma shrugged. She honestly had no idea, which meant she was either blind or stupid. “He was always busy with work. At least that’s what he told me.”

  “What did Mary-Margaret and Winston say?”

  “They don’t know.”

  She heard her mum’s sharp intake of breath. “What? When are you going to tell them?”

  Emma lifted one shoulder and sighed in exasperation. “Who knows. Lleyton is the master when it comes to keeping secrets. That’s why we’re still living in the house together.”

  “So you don’t think his parents know any of this?”

  Emma laughed, but the sound caught in the back of her throat. “There’s lots of things Lleyton’s parents don’t know.” It felt nice finally having someone to talk to, but she wasn’t going to divulge all of Lleyton’s secrets, even to her mum.

  “You know you can always come home.”

  Emma leaned forward, picked up the bowl and took another spoonful of near-melted ice cream. Now she remembered why she hadn’t wanted to have this conversation. “I know Mum, thank you, but I can’t. My life is in Melbourne now.”

  When Lleyton had come along and swept her off her feet, she’d clung to him like moss to a tree. Lleyton, with his handsome looks, money, family connections and imminent medical degree, had distracted her from Tom and the country town life that had begun to stifle her. Becoming a Chirnside had exposed Emma to a whole new world and all too soon she found herself spinning like a mouse in a wheel, unable to escape. Now she was further trapped, and escaping back to the country, as much as it sounded ideal at that moment, wasn’t going to happen. Besides, she was a city girl now.

  “So what are you going to do?”

  She sighed. “Avoid him. You know how big this house is. We can both live here and never see one another.”

  They employed a gardener, though they rarely used the backyard, someone to clean the pool once a week, though no one ever swam in it, and a cleaner, though the house was always spotless because they were rarely home.

  “Who asked for the divorce?”

  “I did.”

  “You’ll need a good lawyer.”

  “Probably.”

  “I’m serious, Emma. Get yourself a lawyer or you could end up with nothing.”

  “I could also end up with everything.” Emma paused and stared out the window into the blackness of the backyard as realization struck. “I could get my life back and start again,” she murmured more to herself than her mum.

  “I hope he doesn’t try to do the dirty on you and leave you with nothing.”

  “He won’t. Deep down, Lleyton isn’t a bad man.”

  And Emma truly believed that. Lleyton was trapped. He’d spent his entire life keeping up appearances, and now he had a massive secret to keep. A secret which could see him disowned by his parents and cut off from his allowance and inheritance if they found out. A secret she was not about to divulge to her mum. Or anyone for that matter. Lleyton would have to play this one out very carefully. And so would she.

  “Where is he now?” Lorraine asked.
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  “I have absolutely no idea.”

  Chapter 4

  “I’m going to need some help here.”

  Emma’s pulse quickened and her heart punched against her chest wall. If Helen Patterson was calling for help, it must be serious. With over twenty years’ experience working triage, Helen was the most capable nurse Emma knew.

  Another nurse, balancing a bedpan in one hand and a bag of intravenous fluids in the other, rushed past, scowling. “Is it a full moon?”

  Emma rolled her eyes and tucked a strand of hair behind one ear. “Do you even need to ask?” Driving to work earlier that night, the large super moon had glowed orange, low on the horizon.

  It was a few minutes after midnight, and since the start of her shift, the revolving doors hadn’t stopped spinning as patients poured in. Emma refused to be convinced that research said the effects of a full moon on emergency departments was a myth. Except for an unexpected birth, tonight had been one with the lot – accidents, injuries, assaults, self-harm attempts, overdoses. Almost every cubicle in the department was full and the waiting room was overflowing with people and noise.

  If the past three hours were any indication, they were in for a long and hectic shift, but Emma didn’t care. The busy night was keeping her mind off her own troubles. It was her first shift back after her two-week break and she was thanking the roster gods. While she adored her job, she was glad she wasn’t working at triage or in one of the busy resuscitation bays. She had so much going on in her head she was having difficulty concentrating.

  “Emma.”

  With her ebony-dyed hair, tattoos, gruff tone and surly looks, Emma had learned from experience that Helen wasn’t nicknamed “Hell” for no reason. She’d also learned Helen’s bark was big but her bite was little more than a scratch. Still, Emma jumped.

  “What do you need?”

  Helen pointed to a middle-aged man stumbling and weaving his way between the conga lines of people waiting for triage. Ghostly gray, his marble-like skin had a waxy glow about it. Sweat trailed down his wrinkled face and his dazed eyes slowly regarded everyone in the room as if he was trying to work out where he was. If it wasn’t such a cliché, Emma would have described him as a dead man walking.