I'll Take Forever Kobo

by Barbara McMahon

  It would be easier for the pot growers to move at night when the roads were fairly deserted, and most people were asleep. He’d participated in a bust in Mendocino County last summer. The haul had been extraordinary. Again he wondered why people would traffic in drugs. It always was a mystery to him given the end results. Too often men and women–and even children–had their lives ripped apart by addiction.

  The plan to stay at Jenny’s had been his. He hoped he hadn’t made a mistake. The barbecue next week sounded like the perfect opportunity for him to get to know some of the people in town. Hoping he could find some clue to explore, he turned back to the bed. His arm really ached now.

  As he lay awake in the dark, he though about dinner that evening. Was George Carlisle really someone Jenny could be interested in? He seemed too bland. She deserved someone who would cause her to light up within. As she probably had with her husband.

  He had no business kissing her. He hadn’t been able to resist. Nor stop at one. She was a beautiful woman inside and out and he yearned for some of the light that seemed to shine from within. He liked being around her. Teasing her more than she realized gave him a kick. She was as transparent as glass. Refreshing after the men he ordinarily had to deal with.

  He had to walk a careful line, however. He didn’t want to give rise to expectation he couldn’t make. For himself or Jenny. He had a job to do. When it was over, he’d walk away. The next assignment would wait.

  ***

  Jenny's emotions were under control by breakfast the next morning. She greeted Kyle with a sunny smile.

  'You don't have your sling on,' she noticed as she dished up his scrambled eggs.

  'I'm trying without it. This convalescing takes too long.'

  'Don't stop bullets any more.' She placed their plates on the table and sat down across from him, watching as he began to eat.

  He was still holding his left arm stiffly, not moving it even though it was free of the sling. Once, he reached for the salt with it, grimacing as he drew it back, his face paling.

  'Why do men have to be so macho?' she asked. 'Don't rush it. You could slow the healing, instead of hastening it.' She pushed the salt across the table.

  'Yes, Mama,' he replied.

  Jenny laughed aloud. 'When do you see your doctor again?'

  'Later this week. Still want to drive me to Sacramento?'

  'Instead of Brownley?'

  'It would save him a trip. I'll buy you lunch.'

  'Oh, boy, take the lady out for a treat to the big city!'

  'We can discuss the situation here more fully without having to worry about anyone hearing.'

  'Good grief, you've picked my brain clean. I don't think there is anything else to learn about the citizens of Palmer. And my house is not bugged, so there’s no one hear anyway. But I'll take you up on lunch.'

  ***

  Two days later they drove south on US 50 into the capital city. Jenny followed the directions Kyle gave, and soon parked in front of the large medical center near downtown.

  'Want to come with me and hold my hand?' he asked as he opened the door. He was wearing the sling for the trip, though he had not worn it much during the last few days. He had regained his color and looked more robust and fit.

  Jenny smiled and shook her head. 'I'll wait here. There are benches under the trees and the day is nice. Besides, anyone less in need of having their hand held, I'll never meet.'

  CHAPTER SIX

  Jenny was sitting beneath one of the large oak trees shading the lawn of the medical center when Kyle came across the grass to her. The sling was gone. His left hand was tucked into the pocket of his tight jeans, held immobile, without the sling.

  Jenny noticed how the worn jeans outlined his body, fit snugly and left little to the imagination. His hand only made them tighter. She drew her eyes away with effort.

  Kyle grinned at Jenny as she rose to meet him.

  'All set?' she asked.

  'Yep. Almost fit. No more sling. I don't have to come back, either, unless I have problems.'

  She fell into step with him as they walked back to the jeep. 'But you still have to take it easy for a while?' she guessed.

  'Ummm... there was some mention of that, but you know doctors. Want to eat at Shiloh's? It overlooks the American River.'

  'Sounds fine.'

  They ate on the wooden deck at the back of the popular riverside restaurant, overlooking the wide, placid river. The day was warm, the air soft and scented with the flowering roses in nearby profusion.

  When lunch was over, Kyle directed Jenny to a high-rise office block.

  'I need to check in at the office, make a few calls. Want to see the office?'

  'Sure, I always wanted to see how government agents worked.'

  Kyle winked at her comment, but made no reply.

  Parking in the multi-story garage, Jenny followed him into the glass and steel office building, where they were whisked to the tenth floor. The office reminded Jenny of newspaper rooms she had seen in old movies. There was a sea of desks in the center of the open space, enclosed offices around the perimeter. Men were clustered here and there in small groups; some on the phones at their desks. Stacks of files and papers seem to clutter each desk, cleared only in front of computer screens.

  As they walked in and threaded their way through the desks, Kyle was greeted by two or three of the men.

  'How are you doing?' one man called.

  'Fit and ready for action?' asked another.

  'Who's your friend?' Two men walking by paused and smiled at Jenny. She smiled back shyly. Kyle just nodded, waved and kept walking. When he reached the far side, he paused near a door.

  'There's a chair, have a seat. When I've made my calls, I'll show you around and introduce you to one or two of the more acceptable of my fellow workers.'

  Jenny smiled and sat where indicated while Kyle disappeared into the office, closing the door. She didn't have to wait for his introduction. In only a couple of minutes Stuart Brownley came out of another office, pausing in surprise when he saw Jenny, and came over to speak to her.

  'Hello, Mrs. Warwick! Nice to see you again. What are you doing here? Waiting to see me?' He looked just as he had the day he had visited Jenny. She wondered briefly if it were the same suit, or if all his suits were brown.

  'Hello, Mr. Brownley. I came with Kyle Martin. He's making some phone calls and I'm just waiting for him. I drove him in to see the doctor.'

  'Of course. I would have sent a car for him, but it was nice of you to drive him.'

  Jenny blinked at the comment. Had she missed something along the way? Kyle hadn't presented it quite that way.

  'It wasn't any trouble. Actually, I got a nice lunch out of it, and now I'm seeing how secret agents really work.'

  He laughed and glanced around the large floor, as if seeing it anew.

  'Well, it's probably disappointing, no trench coats or hats pulled down over faces. Come on, I'll show you around. Kyle could be tied up for a while.'

  Jenny went to be introduced to many of the men at the desks. They ranged in age from early twenties to two who had to be in their sixties. There was a certain air about them all that marked them as individuals in the same line of work: a certain toughness, alertness, a readiness.

  One or two knew the connection between Jenny and Kyle Martin, but she was puzzled by a few comments.

  'No wonder Kyle picked that assignment!'

  'Now I know why Kyle took this one on!'

  She asked questions, was shown some of the equipment used for field surveys, and visited a small informal drug museum, which displayed different illegal drugs in various stages–including marijuana in its various stages. Jenny was fascinated to see it at last.

  Kyle found them there.

  'Wondered where you'd wandered off to, Jenny. Hello, Stuart.'

  'Kyle. How are things going?'

  'Slowly. I have some background, a couple of leads, maybe. I can start field work soon as I build u
p some stamina.'

  'I can get you some help, if you like,' Brownley said.

  'Thanks. I'll call when I need it. If anyone else becomes involved at this stage, it'll give the show away. Jenny's been a big help.'

  'I have?' She was surprised. She still didn't believe there was drug activity in Palmer, and she constantly wondered led Kyle to believe there was, or that anyone she knew would be involved. What was that clue they were following up on?

  'Yes, both for the cover, and the background you've given. Ready?'

  'Yes. Thank you, Mr. Brownley. I enjoyed the tour,' she said.

  'My pleasure, Mrs. Warwick. Come again. Kyle, I'll be talking to you.'

  'Right.'

  Jenny's head was buzzing as she drove back to Palmer. She was trying to assimilate all she had just seen. The maps of the state where large acres of marijuana cultivation were known or suspected, the many different methods people used to transport the drugs, the resale value of the different kinds.

  She knew drug abuse and illegal use were prevalent, but she had never realized to what extent.

  Kyle was silent on the ride, watching the passing scenery from the window. Jenny didn't try to talk, caught up in her own thoughts. Once or twice she glanced over, but his look was remote and she didn't say anything.

  Kyle's taciturn manner continued for the rest of the day. He went to the den and sat at her desk when they returned, working on the maps, checking notes he had made of the people and locals she had described to him.

  At dinner, he continued to be silent. Twice Jenny looked up to find his eyes on her. Silently watching her, speculatively.

  'Do I have something on my face?' she asked nervously.

  'No. I'm thinking of moving on, Jenny.'

  Her heart plummeted. Slowly, carefully, she lowered her fork so her fingers didn't rattle it against her plate. She had difficulty getting her breath.

  'Why?'

  'Something Stuart said today hit home. Drug dealers are ruthless. I don't want anything to happen to you as a result of this. We'll set up headquarters somewhere else around here, operate from there. I shouldn't have come here, it was a mistake.'

  'But your cover... I thought you needed an unobtrusive way to get to know people, to gather your evidence. I thought you needed me to provide you with that cover. It seems to be working.'

  'Fine, so far. But it'll be safer if I move on.'

  'Nobody suspects.'

  'Jenny, I've not been doing all I will be doing from now on. That shooting set me back. Now I'm better I'll be investigating for all I'm worth, to get this area cleared again. To find and arrest any perpetrators. It could get messy.'

  Jenny searched his face, feeling she was sitting across from a stranger. The same stranger who had invaded her home last winter. Gone was the gentle look on Kyle's face, the tired, ill look he’d had when he had first returned. Now he looked like the hardened professional he was. There was no room for emotion or sentimentality in the man opposite her. The angles of his face seemed harder, his eyes narrowed as he watched her, the leashed energy— evident last winter—was back.

  'You chose me,' she said quietly, but firmly. She was trembling a little, wondering briefly where the words were coming from. 'You and Brownley and all the government men involved in this. Chose me to be your cover, to provide you with all the information I could about this area. I didn't ask to get into this, you chose me. Now, it's too late, you can't leave.'

  'Why not?' he challenged.

  'Because I'd blow your cover sky high! I'd tell the world what you're doing, and how do you think that would help your chances of finding the guys?' she threw out recklessly.

  'That's childish. It would slow me down, but it wouldn't change anything in the long run.' He pushed back from the table, throwing his napkin down. As he started down the hall, Jenny scrambled after him.

  I’ll call the Sheriff and tell him you're the man who broke in last winter.'

  Her voice stopped him. Slowly Kyle turned and looked at her. Jenny paused and backed up until she was against the wall. She didn't like the look in his face. Had she pushed him too far? Nervously she licked her lips.

  'Did you report the break-in?'

  'Yes,' she whispered.

  He loomed over her, backing her further against the wall, coming so close that his body imprisoned her, pressing her back further. His right arm came up near her face as he leaned his weight on it.

  'Liar,' he said pleasantly. 'Just how do you plan to explain my staying here over the last few weeks, meeting your parents, your friends? Lover's quarrel gotten out of hand?'

  He leaned down and took her lips, his hard and demanding as his body pressed against her. Jenny's palms pushed against the wall in a desperate effort to resist encircling his neck, in holding him to her with all the longing that was in her. As his tongue thrust into her mouth, she gave a small moan.

  He meant to punish, but to Jenny it was a delight. Raking her teeth with his moist tongue, he plunged deep into her soft mouth, wreaking havoc with her senses, her body igniting with the flame he lit, the heat rising as he continued his sweet assault.

  The hard wall of his chest pressed against her soft breasts, pushing her as if he wanted to send her through the wall. The long, hard length of his thighs imprisoned her legs, and as hot need for him inflamed her, she felt his desire for her rise, press against her.

  Unable to stop herself any longer, her arms rose to encircle his neck, to respond to his kiss, to mold her body to his as he kissed her.

  Slowly they swayed as the tempo of their heartbeats increased in unison, as the heat rose and passion and desire swamped them.

  Now she knew why she hadn't wanted him to leave, why she'd issued her threat. She’d do almost anything to have him stay.

  Kyle pulled his mouth away to seek the soft pulse at the base of her throat, to trail hot kisses along the satiny skin of her neck and shoulder. His hot lips were raining light caresses across her cheeks, her eyes, her forehead, and back to claim the sweet delight of her mouth.

  'I want you so damn much, Jenny. Sleep with me tonight,' he said in a throaty voice against her mouth. His breathing was heavy, hot against her fevered skin.

  Jenny drew back in shocked surprise, speechless for a moment.

  'I can't,' she whispered back, closing her eyes against the desire flooding through her, the longing for fulfillment of the proof of his desire.

  'Why not?' Sweet, hot kisses punctuated his speech. 'We're of age....I won't hurt you...you're not a virgin. There's no one to get hurt.'

  Only me, she protested, easing herself back a little, regret evident in her eyes as she opened them and looked at him. She shook her head gently.

  'I... no, I won't, Kyle.'

  'Come on, Jenny. Why not? Surely that kiss shows you desire me. It could be so good!'

  'Let me go! Just five minutes ago you were telling me you're leaving, and now you want me to sleep with you? What for, so you have something to remember me by?' She dragged up what strength she could muster and pushed against him. It was like pushing against a mountain. 'Let me go!'

  'No.' He tightened his grip. 'I want you, and you want me, or else you're the best little actress I've ever come across. So what game are you playing now?'

  She frowned at his remark. She did want him, and if there had been anything more to it than lust, she wouldn't wait another second. She would love to he in a soft bed with him, have his lips learn her while she learned him, to share love with this hard man. But he spoke no word of love. Just want, desire.

  'No game, Kyle, let me go. Let me go!'

  She began to struggle, pushing against him, balling her hand into a fist and lashing out, frantic to get free, connecting with his shoulder. He dropped her and staggered back against the wall, his face suddenly ashen.

  'Oh, Kyle, I'm so sorry. Your shoulder—I forgot. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm so sorry!' Contrite, Jenny reached out to hold his arm. He had seemed so much back to normal, so alive and well
, that she had forgotten he really wasn't.

  'I'm sorry.' She wouldn't have hurt him for anything, she had only wanted to be released.

  'At least you've made your point,' he said shakily. Giving a deep sigh, he opened his eyes, looking down at her. 'You pack quite a wallop. Consider joining up, if you get tired of living up here.' He stood and walked slowly down the hall.

  Jenny watched him go, torn with conflict. She wished she had grasped what he had offered; one night of glorious love might be worth all the heartache when he left. Would she regret turning him down?

  No, she couldn’t. It wasn’t right.

  Right be damned! She thought, going back to the kitchen to do the dishes. She felt as if she had just made a momentous decision–the wrong one.

  Jenny was still suffering from vain regrets when she awoke the next morning. She had tossed and turned during the long night, wishing things had been different. Wishing she had responded differently. Slowly the thought came to her: if she was offered the chance again, she wouldn't turn it down. Could she get Kyle to stay? Could she have him make the offer again?

  If he really wanted her. She would find a way. She'd start this morning, at breakfast. With that thought in mind, she went downstairs to prepare the meal.

  Kyle wasn't in the house.

  Jenny called him, looked in the den, the kitchen. She glanced outside, but there was no sign of him. With her heart in her throat, she slowly went back upstairs and into his room. Had he gone, left as he said he was going to do? His clothes were still in the wardrobe, and she sagged against the door in relief. Wherever he was, he’d be back.

  Spending the morning doing the laundry, Jenny stripped the beds, emptied the linen basket and worked at her desk between loads as the washer did its work. Once the clothes and sheets were finished, she sorted, folded, and went to put the things away. Making her bed, she quickly put away her clothes.

  She went into Kyle's room. It took only a few minutes to make the bed. She then turned to the dresser to put away his clothes. The top drawer opened easily beneath her fingers. Her breath caught. There, on top of a couple of handkerchiefs, was his gun.