All in the Mind

by Judith Cranswick

  ‘How did you get on at the studio?’ Sarah’s grim expression didn’t go unnoticed. ‘Oh dear, as bad as that?’ Lucy gave her a sympathetic grimace.

  ‘Worse.’

  ‘Just remind yourself it’s all good PR. You’re the one who talks about the value of networking.’ Lucy’s gentle teasing became more serious, ‘I’ll get you a coffee. You might need it. I don’t think your day is going to get any better.’

  Sarah groaned. ‘That sounds ominous. What’s been happening?’

  ‘There was punch-up between some of the Second Year Travel and Tourism students and a group of Construction lads in the canteen this morning. Mr Fitzgibbon has been dealing with it but he asked if you’d phone him as soon as you got in.’

  ‘Let me get my coat off,’ Sarah sighed. ‘And I will have that coffee.’

  Five minutes later, George bustled in with Frank Wagner and a concerned looking Dev Sharma in his wake.

  ‘So were you able to sort out the ringleaders?’ she asked after George’s lengthy explanation of the fracas.

  ‘It seems Carl Evans threw the first punch and mayhem broke out as they all joined in.’

  ‘Isn’t he the lad we put on a final warning last month?’

  ‘Exactly.’ George’s face was grim.

  ‘There was a lot of stupid name-calling going on between the two groups that got out of hand, and one of them called Carl a thickie brickie. I call that deliberate provocation.’ She’d never seen Dev so animated.

  ‘The boy’s an out-and-out thug,’ said Frank casually from the corner of the low bookcase where he had perched himself.

  ‘According to his tutor, he’s made a real effort after the last warning and he’s kept out of trouble,’ Dev snapped, deliberately ignoring Frank’s own brand of incitement.

  ‘That isn’t the issue, Dev. The boy was on a final warning and I’m afraid that’s it. He came from Kingsbury Comprehensive with a poor record; he’s been in trouble on numerous occasions in the short time he’s been here. He knew the consequences. It would totally undermine discipline if we let him get away with it.’ She was annoyed with Dev for making her play the heavy-handed authoritarian. Though she applauded the instinct that made him support the students in his faculty, this situation was not negotiable and he knew it.

  ‘We were lucky we didn’t have a full-scale fight on our hands. If a group of staff hadn’t come in at just the right time, it could have developed into a very nasty incident,’ George put in.

  ‘What about the others involved?’ she asked.

  ‘They’ve all been given a warning. They’re banned from the canteen and I’ve told them that if they’re not in lectures I don’t want them hanging around on site.’

  ‘Will you make sure that their personal tutors are aware of that?’ She glared across at Frank who acknowledged her request with what in a student she would have called an insolent shrug. ‘I want a list of all the lads involved and I’d like a summary progress report on each of them as soon as possible.’ Frank’s grin quickly disappeared. A little dart of satisfaction shot through her. She had not done it to get her own back, she would have asked for the reports in any case, but she had no compunction in putting extra work on Frank.

  The three men shuffled out of her office and she could hear Frank muttering away outside. Before the door closed, Tom Appleby put his head round the door.

  ‘Before you get involved in anything else, could I have a quick word?’

  ‘Is it urgent, Tom? I have got a lot on today.’

  ‘You were the one who said you wanted a chat about the Review Working Party rep from my faculty,’ he said with a tinge of peevishness.

  ‘Right,’ she said hoping that her resignation did not show. ‘Come in and shut the door.’ If she wanted Anna Margilewska on the team, she needed to do some sweet-talking.

  It had been a long time since she had seen Elizabeth. Because of the accumulation of paperwork over half term, she had to put off their usual get-together. With all that had happened in the meantime, there was a lot of catching up to do.

  Soon after Elizabeth arrived, the doorbell rang. Sarah glanced out of the window as she reached the middle landing and noticed a small, white, delivery van pulled up behind Elizabeth’s Renault. When she opened the door, a young man stood holding an enormous bouquet of yellow roses, looking at her expectantly.

  ‘Mrs Harcourt?’

  ‘Yes,’ she replied somewhat tentatively, half expecting him to hand over a bill.

  ‘These are for you, delivered by “The House of Blooms”.’

  Elizabeth was standing looking over the banister as she made her way back upstairs.

  ‘They’re gorgeous! Who are they from?’

  ‘I haven’t had a chance to look yet.’

  She took them into the kitchen and laid them on the table. Elizabeth’s impatience, as she slowly prised open the ends of the staple fixing the tiny envelope to cellophane, was readily apparent.

  ‘So?’ she demanded as Sarah read the card inside.

  ‘It just says, “To remind you of our special day”. What an odd thing to write!’ Sarah said. ‘There’s no signature.’

  ‘This new chap must be keen – sending you flowers.’

  ‘It doesn’t say they’re from Matt.’ Sarah stared at the card.

  ‘Is it his writing?’

  Sarah shook her head. ‘I’ve no idea.’

  ‘Who else can they be from?’

  Sarah shrugged. ‘I haven’t actually seen him for a couple of weeks – not since we went to the New Forest. I’ve been so busy just lately and he was on duty over the weekend.’

  ‘Perhaps that’s why. He’s worried you might forget all about him and he obviously enjoyed the trip. So what happened that you didn’t tell me about?’ Her eyes twinkled with mischief.

  ‘Nothing!’ Sarah could feel the colour rising to her cheeks. ‘And, if you’d been listening, you’d remember I told you the boys were with us the whole time.’

  She had left out the bit about her holding onto Matt’s hand, not to mention the impromptu kiss, when recounting the tale of their escape from the bullocks. The memory of that unguarded gesture and her petrified clinging to him still filled her with embarrassment. Surely, Matt hadn’t interpreted it as anything more? His peck on the cheek as they’d parted was only a consoling gesture.

  He had phoned next day as promised, but they had not arranged an actual date to go out again because of his shifts. She had been relieved by the delay rather than disappointed. After their last little encounter, she was not at all sure how she felt about him, and she was apprehensive about what he might be thinking about her. He was great as a friend and they’d a lot in common, but she didn’t want him to think that their friendship would progress to anything more. They had spoken a couple of times on the phone and he had not sounded any more eager to press matters than she had.

  Contemplating the significance of the flowers was something she would need to do alone when Elizabeth had gone. She was not sure if she was pleased or apprehensive. It was certainly flattering, but was she ready to let down the barriers and develop a close relationship with anyone? At least, she consoled herself, the roses were yellow rather than red.

  She busied herself with the laborious process of detaching all the gold ribbons festooned around and removing the clinging layers of tough cellophane.

  ‘It’s like Fort Knox trying to break into this!’ she muttered in frustration trying to release the stems from the tightly bound layers of sticky tape.

  ‘Here let me.’ Elizabeth took the scissors from the drawer, elbowed her aside and deftly clipped away the binding.

  ‘I don’t know if I’ve got a vase big enough for that lot. It will take me ages to arrange them all. Still, if we’re going to eat tonight, I’d better stick these in a bucket for now and get on with the meal. I thought we’d have stroganoff tonight.’

  ‘Anything I can do?’

  ‘I cut up the beef before you arrived, but you can
chop the onions if you like while I find something for these to stand in.’

  ‘Only on condition you tell me all details you’ve missed out so far! What with trips to Chessington and walks in the country, the two of you seem to have been seeing quite a bit of each other.’

  ‘Strictly chaperoned by Paul and Justin,’ Sarah said with a laugh. ‘While I think of it, did I tell you that I had a visit from Geraldine? Remind me later and I’ll give you all the grizzly details. I’ve been seeing quite a lot of my ex-mother-in-law!’

  Chapter 23

  Sarah was not in the best of moods. It did not take a great deal to irritate her these days, but she felt she had good cause. She had gone all the way over to the other side of town to discuss the possibilities of a joint training project with a major company only to find that the Human Resources Manager had been called away and no one had bothered to let her know. With all that she had to do, she bitterly resented the waste of time.

  As she walked along the top corridor, she could hear loud voices coming from her office. When she got to the doorway, she was surprised to find all the directors of faculty plus George Fitzgibbon gathered around Lucy’s desk with the poor girl almost in tears.

  ‘But I don’t know anything about a meeting and Mrs Harcourt isn’t even in the college. She has an appointment at Plantar Electronics.’

  ‘What’s going on?’ Sarah demanded.

  ‘Exactly. We’ve all been sent memos to turn up for a meeting your secretary hasn’t been told about and you’re nowhere to be found.’ From the expressions on all their faces, Tom was not the only one to be annoyed.

  ‘Memos from whom?’

  ‘Don’t tell us you’ve forgotten that you even sent the bloody things.’ Frank’s sneer made even the others wince.

  She turned her head and stared at him. He did not apologise although he looked away quickly appreciating that he had gone too far.

  ‘I can assure you, gentlemen’ she said in clipped tones, ‘that I know nothing about any memos for the simple reason that I did not send them as Lucy will confirm. However, the latest government directives arrived on my desk this morning. I was going to arrange a meeting to discuss them. As you are all here, we might as well do it now.’ She pushed through them to the inner office door. ‘Come and sit down gentlemen while I sort out the necessary bits and pieces. Lucy will get some coffee.’

  She turned and gave her secretary a smile.

  ‘Certainly, Mrs Harcourt.’

  Sarah was confident that if Lucy knew that the stuff had come in the post yesterday she would not let on. Though, after all the mix-ups over the last few months, Lucy could be forgiven for thinking that her boss was beginning to crack under all the pressure. There was even a vague doubt at the back of Sarah’s mind; she had intended to arrange a meeting as soon as possible, even though she could not remember sending the memos.

  When Lucy had popped her head round the door to say goodnight, Sarah decided to call it a day herself. Although it was early, at least for her, even the cleaners had not yet put in an appearance, she clicked the save icon and closed down the computer. By the time she’d tidied her desk, checked tomorrow’s programme and jotted down a list of essential tasks for the next day it was coming up to six o’clock.

  As she came out into the corridor, the place already seemed deserted. The lights still filtered through from a couple of offices at the far end but all the admin staff had long since disappeared. She could hear the hum of the vacuum cleaner in one of the far rooms. Her office was at the end of the corridor next to what she laughingly called her private stairs. She seemed to be the only one, at least on the upper floor, who used the fire escape regularly. The college lift was small and claustrophobic and took an age. Waiting patiently had never been her forte.

  As she contemplated what to have for her evening meal, she decided on a change and to treat herself to something exotic. After such a difficult day, she deserved to spoil herself a little. She had plenty of time to wander through the town centre to “The Jade Garden”. It was a bit of a trek but she had not been out for a morning jog for several days and could do with the exercise.

  Even though the majority of shops had closed for the day, there was a steady throng of people criss-crossing the pedestrian precinct. She had already passed the bank when she decided that this was a good opportunity to get out some money. The last minute decision to get a take-away would use up her ready cash.

  She turned and caught sight of a figure in a pale mackintosh darting into a shop doorway. It was the sudden movement that attracted her attention. She hesitated for a moment then hurried back. He must have been watching her approach because, before she could get close, he dived out and fled in the opposite direction. After a few yards, he veered off suddenly into the arcade, coattails flapping behind him. By the time she got to the corner, he was long gone. He could have disappeared into any of the shops and several of the larger stores had exits onto adjoining streets. At least one thing was now certain – her stalker was real enough.

  During those fleeting moments when she had seen him scurrying away, the figure had seemed familiar. She told herself not to jump to conclusions. Many men must have beige gabardine raincoats. It was one thing to recognise a face but it could have been the back of any tall, fair-haired man, zigzagging through the crowd. She had Nathan on the brain.

  Suddenly, she had lost her appetite.

  The green light was flashing on the answerphone when she got in. The illuminated number indicated that there were two messages.

  The first call was from Elizabeth. Sarah felt some of her tension easing as the friendly voice filled the room. ‘Sorry to pester. I seem to have mislaid my pocket book and I wondered if I’d left it round yours the other evening. Can you give me a buzz if it turns up? Speak to you soon. Bye.’

  Sarah had to smile as she pressed the stop button. The thought of Elizabeth losing anything was hard to credit. Why couldn’t she come straight out and say she was dying to know if Sarah had solved the mystery of the flowers? Perhaps Sarah had made her reticence to talk about Matt a little too obvious. The trouble was that Elizabeth would interpret that as an indication that he was more special than he really was. With a sigh, Sarah heaved herself to her feet. Even the simplest things in life could get ridiculously complicated at times.

  She wandered through to the kitchen and pulled open the freezer door. There were a few ready meals but she did not have the appetite for lamb paprikash, mushroom dopiaza or the cod in parsley sauce. Although she had eggs, the piece of cheese she found in the fridge was well past its prime so fleeting plans for an omelette were speedily readjusted. It was not until she walked back into the living room with her tray that she remembered that there was another message on the answerphone.

  ‘It’s Matt. I’m working nights again this weekend but wondering if you were doing anything next Friday. There’s a concert at the Wyvern if you’re interested.’

  Trying to read things into a couple of short sentences on a recorded message was a futile activity; however, to her relief, it sounded much like the old Matt. As it had been so long, she’d been concerned that her impromptu kiss may have put him off all together.

  She dialled his number only to reach his answering machine. ‘The concert sounds great. I’d love to come. See you in the foyer at twenty past.’

  Being able to leave a message at least got round the problem of trying to avoid any offer to collect her. Best to keep things simple.

  She’d already put down the phone when her eye caught the display of roses that stood in pride of place on the coffee table. Perhaps she should have thanked him for the flowers.

  As she uncurled herself from the chair, she realised that, in her haste to return Matt’s call, she had let her meal go cold. Could anything be quite as unappetising as cold scrambled egg on soggy toast?

  As both of them were working the next day, she and Elizabeth decided to grab a takeaway before the film rather than eating late. To save taking two cars
to the cinema, Sarah picked up Elizabeth after she left college and they called in at the Chinese place on the way back to Sarah’s flat.

  ‘The smell is driving me crazy. I didn’t realise how hungry I was,’ Sarah said as they drew up outside the house.

  ‘You look as though you haven’t had a decent meal in days.’

  ‘You’re turning into a right old granny!’

  Elizabeth shuffled out of the car awkwardly in an effort not to tip up the two small carrier bags of food and waited for Sarah to open the front door. Sarah’s heart sank when she felt the resistance as she pushed it open. There was no way she could sweep everything up before Elizabeth spotted the offending mountain of post.

  ‘I thought you said that all that nonsense had stopped.’

  ‘It had,’ Sarah said trying to sound blasé. ‘This is the first batch I’ve had for ages.’

  ‘And you wonder why I fuss? Look, Sarah, you have got to do something. You can’t let this keep happening to you. Don’t try to kid me that it all washes over you. All this hassle is taking its toll. Just look at yourself!’ Her eyes were blazing with inner fury. She was like a roller coaster nothing could stop. ‘Your face is drawn, your eyes are puffy and it’s obvious you’re not sleeping properly. I’ve known you long enough to know that you are not normally ratty and irritable and if you are snapping at me then I bet you are giving them all hell at work. You are going to get on the phone this minute and inform the police.’