“You’ve come to me because I’m alone.” Lila was looking her straight in the eye.
Julie gave her the same respect, holding her gaze. “Yes.” Julie needed to know if she should be, too. And if it was better for her to stay alone, could she still be happy?
“I’m happy, Julie. Maybe in ways you can’t understand. Ways I never thought I’d be...”
Lila’s voice faded as voices sounded in the hall. The older woman smiled, and said, “Trust me, my dear. I’m happy.”
Julie wanted to believe that and to be happy for Lila. To feel good about accepting the other woman’s answer. To take hope that one day she’d understand. And that she’d be happy in ways she’d never thought she would be. Instead, as Sara knocked and entered with Joy, Julie was left with an overwhelming sense of sadness.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
HUNTER AND EDWARD talked about golf all the way to the Stand. Golf courses. Golf scores. Golf clubs. Golf games between Edward and John Rafferty. Edward had found his match in John. Hunter wasn’t the least bit surprised to hear it.
Edward was about to be introduced as grandpa to his only grandchild, and he talked about golf.
A man after Hunter’s own heart.
You’d think they were related by blood, not just marriage.
As usual, he hung back as the party gathered and headed toward the grounds, through the garden and woods beyond, to the gate that led down to the beach. If not for the security guards around the place, and the surveillance cameras and security lights he saw mounted even on trees in the woods, he could be forgiven for thinking he was at an expensive, private resort.
Julie had smiled in his general direction when they met in the lobby. But with Joy attached to her hand, she’d been otherwise engaged.
Giving Hunter plenty of time to watch her.
And to hate himself for finding her backside so attractive in those pants she was wearing.
The last thing Julie needed, or would want, was a guy lusting after her.
Because Joy was going to be told Edward was her grandfather, Sara had opted to join them at the beach. Hunter liked the counselor.
But he didn’t like how she monopolized Julie whenever Julie wasn’t speaking directly to Joy. It wasn’t as if he’d expected to have any kind of personal...moment with Julie, but a meeting of the eyes would be nice.
Something to acknowledge that they’d become more to each other last evening than they’d been the morning before.
They were just approaching the beach when it occurred to him that maybe Julie was avoiding any contact between them.
That maybe she was regretting the night before.
He told himself he was glad about that and tried to focus his mind on being the life of the party. He hadn’t even gotten a start when they stepped onto the sand and Joy stopped in her tracks.
Meaning that Hunter, who’d been behind them, nearly ran into her. He leaped around her instead, lost his balance and somersaulted in the sand. After that, he danced around like a crazy fool, trying to get the sand out of his shirt and pants. “It tickles!” he exclaimed, dancing backward on to the beach.
“You like sand in your clothes?” he asked Joy, who was watching him—and letting Julie lead her closer to him.
She looked at Julie, who then looked at him. Finally.
Joy followed her lead.
“You know what I hate most? Sand in my shoes.” With that he kicked off one of his deck shoes, backward, so that it flew behind him, and he caught it over his shoulder.
A stupid trick he’d practiced for months during his partying years in high school. The guys had always been drunk enough to find his pranks funny. And he’d always had invitations to parties.
The movement of Joy’s head followed the line of his shoe as it landed in his hand. He kicked off the left shoe. It had taken him a lot longer to perfect that one. Thank goodness he’d gone to so many parties. When he caught it, the little girl laughed out loud.
* * *
GRANT AND DARIN BISHOP had set up the picnic for them. They were brothers, one of whom—Grant, a local landscape artist who also maintained the grounds at the Stand—was married to the resident nurse. The other, Darin, had suffered brain damage and lived with them, together with his wife and child on the property. The picnic dinner came complete with table, tablecloth, a basket filled with plastic dishes and food, and a cooler with drinks. They’d be down later to carry everything back to the Stand.
Joy sat in the middle on one side of the plastic folding picnic table, with Edward directly across from her. Lila and Sara flanked Edward. Julie and Hunter were on either side of Joy. Sitting across from Lila, Julie took strength from the older woman. Absorbed her calm. The plan was to tell Joy about Edward as soon as dessert was served.
Chocolate cupcakes. Joy chose them any time she went through the cafeteria line.
Sweets to go with sweet news.
They hoped.
But first...
Sara was running the show. Julie felt confident that things wouldn’t deteriorate to disaster level mainly because Hunter was there.
She hadn’t wanted to tune in to him. To have him stand out from the rest of the people present. Hadn’t wanted to feel anything at all where he was concerned.
There was no point.
Then he’d gone and flipped on the sand—and her heart had flipped right with him.
Sara talked about when she’d been little and had a picnic with her family at the beach. Edward, speaking to Sara, related a time he’d taken his little girl snorkeling. Hunter talked about surfing, about what a blast he had whenever he went out.
His litany had been planned, as had all of theirs. They were attempting to shine a light on things that might be lurking inside Joy. A safe, secure light. Clearly the little girl trusted Hunter. She didn’t seem disturbed by the fact that he was a surfer, too.
Until it was her turn, Julie mostly held her breath. And pretended to eat the club sandwich and fruit on her plate. Joy, on the other hand, had her sandwich almost gone. Her legs were swinging beneath the table. She’d glanced at Julie’s full plate at least three times.
“Amy doesn’t like club sandwiches that much,” Julie said, feeling inane. Joy knew that Amy was really Julie. Just a younger version.
As far as Hunter and Edward were concerned—Amy was merely a character in a book Joy had become attached to. And that Julie was using the Amy books in art therapy. The distinction, the reminder that Hunter didn’t know, was important to her.
She took a bite of her sandwich and tried not to think about what was coming.
She didn’t want Joy hurt. Upset. Scared. But the little girl couldn’t continue to live in limbo, either.
And if Joy could help her mother...
The tide was coming in. Waves lapped more loudly against the shore. Julie watched them, wondering what it would feel like to ride one. Her stomach jumped. She had a hard time swallowing the food in her mouth.
Sara and Lila both glanced at her.
Her stomach jumped again. And seemed to lodge in her throat. It was her turn to speak.
“Joy, you remember yesterday when we were at the park and you told me some secrets?”
The little girl stared at the middle of the table.
“It’s okay, sweetie,” she continued, knowing that it was the right thing to do. That there had to be some pressure applied to this wound now. And that the person who stood the greatest chance of stopping the bleeding was her. “You’re safe.”
Sara had said to get that point across over and over. Because Joy’s life had clearly not left her with a feeling of security, and to a seven-year-old, safety, security and food were the driving forces.
Taking a slow breath, she thought about Amy. Trusted Amy. Put herself in Amy’s sh
oes.
“Do you remember the story where Amy made a choice to eat all that candy without permission? She felt sick to her stomach and thought she might throw up, but then she told her mom about it and her mom gave her something to drink to settle her stomach, and it turned out that just telling her mother made her feel better. Because it was really the secret that was making her feel so bad.”
Julie had read the book to Joy. A couple of times. Joy hadn’t seemed to respond. But it was about Amy, and that was the best Julie had.
“Secrets do that,” she went on. “They stay inside and sometimes they get bigger and eventually they can make you sick. So I’m glad you told me what you did yesterday.”
Amy always wanted to do the right thing. She’d wanted to be good for her mother because it made her mother happy when she was good...
“And you remember the mommy book?” she said now, going with the flow in her mind. The ocean was there, in the distance. The sun’s heat was still potent enough to warm the sand. The others at the table were completely supportive, completely focused, and yet, they faded, too.
“Amy always tried to do what her mommy wanted because she loved her so much, and she wanted to make her happy.”
Joy looked at her.
“Your mommy told you to be quiet.”
Big brown eyes wide, Joy stared at Julie.
“She told you to hide.”
Amy was afraid. And she hid from her own shadow. Something that kept following her. Popping up in different places.
“But she didn’t tell me to be quiet or to hide,” Julie continued. “And I told these people about what happened. About your mommy being taken away by the monster. And they’ve spent all day trying to find her. To help her.”
The girl’s lower lip started to tremble. Was it because she felt betrayed? Or grateful?
“You did the right thing, Joy. You did what Amy would have done. You’re such a brave, strong girl, and we all love you.”
She rambled on. The words were tumbling out almost faster than she could speak them. Julie didn’t question her comments or her insights. She glanced at Hunter once.
He sat there quietly, his expression serious. He wasn’t joking. He was supporting her, supporting Joy and Edward.
Feeling stronger, she resumed speaking. “Right now, your mommy needs your help.” Julie was finding words she’d been afraid wouldn’t come. “She needs you to tell us anything you can that might help us figure out where she is. That way we can save her and bring her here, so she’s safe from the monster, too.”
Not take her home. Home was where the monster came back. Again and again.
“Can you do that, Joy? I know Amy would try. Will you try?”
Still staring at her, only at her, the little girl nodded.
Julie felt tears coming but shoved them away. Now was not the time. “Do you know where the monster would take her?”
Joy shook her head.
“Is there any place he used to take both of you? Any place he liked to go?”
She shook her head again.
Julie had been told what to ask. She so badly wanted to get the answers the police needed. She felt Edward across from them. She didn’t hear him breathe, didn’t sense any movement at all. But she sensed him there. Willing his toppled world upright again. Needing to do something to help his two girls.
“When you saw the shadow, did you think about where it might be headed?” It was an Amy question, not a Julie one.
“To Dan’s.”
“Dan’s.” She forced her voice to remain calm while her heart started to pound.
Joy nodded.
“Who’s Dan?”
This time Joy shrugged.
“Is he the monster’s friend?”
She nodded. Her gaze hadn’t left Julie’s face.
Hunter remained still on the other side of her.
“Do you know where he lives?”
She nodded again.
Julie wanted to look at Sara, at Lila, for direction. But she didn’t dare lose Joy’s complete focus. She could see Hunter behind the little girl. He wasn’t sending any signals.
Or putting an end to the moment.
She wasn’t going to ask Joy to take them to Dan’s. Maybe Sara would do that. Or the police. Julie couldn’t. It felt like a betrayal of the trust Joy’s sweet little heart had placed in her.
But...
She pulled a small sketch pad out of the bag she’d carried down. The pad wasn’t there for the picnic. It was there because Julie never went anywhere without the means to access Amy.
“Can you draw it for me? Show me how you’d go from where you saw the shadow to Dan’s?”
A first name might be enough for someone to figure out who the man was. Where he lived. That wasn’t Julie’s call. All she knew was that she didn’t want to repeat this exercise a second time. She had to get what she could from Joy now and then simply be her friend. Her grown-up Amy.
Someone just to be there.
Joy looked at the pad. Julie set a pencil down on the table, then held her breath until Joy slowly picked it up.
The drawing was crude. Boxes and lines. With a couple of stick trees. It might help, though. And it might be completely illegible. Julie’s heart swelled almost to bursting at Joy’s effort.
“Okay,” she said, leaving the paper to sit there. “That’s so good, Joy. Your mommy’s going to be so proud of you.”
She blinked away tears. “I’m so proud of you.”
Joy was staring at her again. Shutting the others out. Julie followed her lead, ignoring everyone else at the table. A hurting heart had its limits. She understood completely.
“One more thing,” she added, “then I think Amy would want some dessert, and I do, too, because I like dessert better than club sandwiches...”
This wasn’t part of the script. It was coming straight from the heart of one who knew what it felt like to keep the monster secret.
“Do you know the monster’s name?”
Joy nodded, her face wearing a terrified expression.
“If you tell me his name, thinking of him won’t be so scary.” Trust me, sweetheart, her soul implored. This is one promise I can make you.
Joy’s hand crept to Julie’s lap, sliding under her palm.
Julie covered it more completely, wrapping her fingers gently around that little hand, vowing she’d do whatever it took to make sure that Joy would not spend a decade—or even a month—locked in the hell of her own memories.
“Do you trust me?” she pressed.
Joy nodded again.
“Can you tell me the monster’s name?”
Joy nodded. Frowned, her eyes stark with fear. With doubt. And then she took a breath and opened her mouth.
“His name’s Daddy.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
AFTER ALL THE buildup in Hunter’s mind about the great unveiling of Edward to his granddaughter, that part of the picnic was anticlimactic. Probably a testimony to Sara and her skill at her job.
Certainly a testimony to Julie Fairbanks’s willingness to love the little girl. To be her interim security.
They still didn’t know if Joy’s seeming aversion to the beach had to do with the fact that she feared anything she associated with her father, or if there’d been a particular incident.
Hunter hoped Shawn Amos hadn’t taken his wife out to sea and left her there. And kept that supposition to himself.
“Sorry it didn’t go better for you,” he said to Edward after they’d covered more than a mile in silence on their way back to Edward’s hotel.
There were just some things that golf talk couldn’t cover up. Not many, in Hunter’s life, but some.
Well, one. This one.
&n
bsp; “What?” Edward shook his head as though coming out of a trance. “Oh, Hunter, no, that was...she was... Did you see her look at me? Those adorable brown eyes giving me the once-over, like she was deciding whether or not I was a good guy. So discerning. Just like my Cara. She’d look at me with those serious eyes, too, even when she was a baby, and I knew I’d never be able to fool her. About anything.
“Never tried, either,” he continued, a smile on his face.
What the heck.
“Edward, Joy didn’t speak to you.” Great, man, rub it in.
“No, but she looked.” The man sent another grinning glance his way.
Hunter didn’t get it. But he was glad Edward wasn’t taking the rejection as badly as Hunter had feared. Of course, there was always the chance the older man was in denial.
Who could blame him? First, losing his daughter to Shawn, then losing her to the fiend a second time. And now, having his granddaughter show no emotion at finding out he existed?
“I was prepared for her to turn her back on me. To hide away inside herself again. Instead she stood right there and studied me. She’s interested. And open to the possibility.”
So, yeah. Hunter could see that.
It was just that he felt superfluous. Which should be pleasing him. One of Hunter’s avowed goals in life was to slide away from the tough stuff. So if Edward didn’t need his help anymore...
He should be celebrating. Or at least feeling relieved.
The man’s daughter was missing, considered to be in danger. Of course, Edward still needed support.
His name’s Daddy.
Joy’s words had been stabbing at him since she’d uttered them more than an hour before.
His name’s Daddy.
How did things get so mucked up? A father scaring his little girl to the point that she couldn’t speak. Physically abusing his daughter’s mother.
And his own sister.
Mary Amos still lay in the hospital, in a medically induced coma, fighting for her life.
For Joy's Sake Page 17