Surrender

by K. M. Scott

  “Don’t try to change the subject. I’m worried about you. One of the women who comes into the boutique knew an awful lot about Stefan March, and she told me he’s a player like no other she’s ever seen.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. Something about a woman telling Carrie all about Stefan as she shopped for high-end accessories was funny. “That you asked about him is touching, honey, but your concern is unnecessary. It’s all good fun for both of us—well, more for me since he’s not getting what he wants right now.”

  “From you or anyone?” Carrie asked.

  I felt my expression stiffen as the thought of Stefan with someone else sent a twinge of jealousy through my chest. “Me.”

  “I saw that, Shay. You flinched when I mentioned him with someone else. This is exactly what I’m talking about. You’re going to get hurt with this one.”

  Waving away her concerns, I tossed the damp towel onto the bed and moved over toward my dresser to finish getting ready. “Nonsense. All this is between him and me is sex. Period. Trust me. No one can keep her heart closed off like I can. Just ask poor Elliot.”

  In the mirror, I saw Carrie furrow her brow. “Indeed, but poor Elliot wasn’t a major league player. He was simply a horny kid you took a shining to. This one knows his way around women.”

  I finished coating my eyelashes with mascara and swiped cranberry gloss over my lips, smacking them together to spread it around. “I know you’re trying to help, but there’s no need. It’s all good.”

  She said nothing for a long while as I put on the rest of my makeup. When she finally spoke, her words were far more serious than I was prepared to hear.

  “I’m curious, Shay. Why the need to play this guy? I mean, so he came off like a 1950s Cro-Magnon the first day you met. So what? Why are you hell bent on this? You’re not a vicious person, and if you do play him and he falls for you, you’re going to hurt yet another guy.”

  Ouch.

  I turned around to face her judgment, far too defensive about what I was doing with Stefan. “Another guy? You make me sound like a black widow. And why do you care what some player ends up feeling anyway? Stefan March sees women as playthings, at best, and at worst, sperm receptacles. I would think you and all of womankind would be cheering me on.”

  “I’m all for showing men we deserve better, Shay. Sign me up for that crusade. I’ll wear the uniform. But leading someone on, even a player, seems to make us even worse than men.”

  Leave it to Carrie to drive the point home. I hated when she hit the nail on the head like that. I wasn’t worse than Stefan March. He went through women like water. I’d never been that way with men. That I’d never found the right guy and settled down wasn’t because I was some vicious creature out to break the hearts of all men who came into contact with me. It had never happened because I had goals and becoming someone’s girlfriend and someday his wife would derail those goals. Wanting to succeed in life shouldn’t make me the bad guy, but at that moment, I was feeling that way as Carrie looked at me as if I was no better than some callous player.

  “So what are you saying?”

  “I’m saying don’t do this. Someone’s going to get hurt. You had your fun, but if you don’t want to be with him again, tell him and be done with it. You already can say you got the best of him. The player wanted a second round with you. I doubt many females who’ve been with him can say that.”

  I saw in her eyes there would be no changing her mind on this, so I did my best nonchalant shrug and smiled. “Okay, I hear you. I guess I thought I was striking a blow for all women, but I see I’m acting no better than all those players we’ve hated all these years. I won’t go through with it.”

  Carrie studied me for a long moment to judge my sincerity and then nodded her approval. “It’s the right thing to do. Somebody was going to get hurt, and that’s never good.”

  “You’re right. I know. Let’s get a bite to eat and forget all about this. My treat.”

  “Your treat? You must be making a killing at that club, Shay. I thought you were saving up for your trip.”

  “I am, but money’s been good at this job. I can afford the nicer things in life now, like taking my best friend out for brunch,” I said with a chuckle.

  “The nicer things, huh? Well, this girl’s never been one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so let’s get this show on the road.”

  “Sounds good!”

  As I followed her out my front door, I pushed down the tiny pang of guilt inside me from lying to my best friend. No matter how right she may be, I’d gone too far into this thing with Stefan to turn back now.

  * * *

  STANDING HUNCHED over the back bar, I hoped to avoid Kane and his entirely unamusing way of making my day even shittier than it already was. My older half-brother had a knack for ruining even my best moods, and in my present state, all it would take was one of those goddamned smirks he liked to give and I’d want to smack the hell out of him. That I wouldn’t simply because I knew it would result in even more pain than I already felt from the worst hangover ever experienced by mankind didn’t change the fact that I’d want to.

  I’d hoped a night of heavy drinking and fucking would take the edge off Shay’s rejection, but even though the sex with Kat and Jana had been more than good, as it always was when the three of us got together, and the tequila had numbed me enough to forget how it felt being left sitting there with my fucking rock hard dick hanging out, when I woke up this morning all I knew was I wanted Shay and for some reason, she didn’t want me.

  Or she was playing some game.

  That idea made me feel a little better since games I could win. Whether it was high school football where I excelled as the star quarterback or poker where I could beat the best players Tampa could throw at me, I could play games. Nobody played games like I could, so if she wanted to play, I was up to it.

  “Examining the top of the bar for any particular reason, Stefan?”

  And there went my fucking day. Kane, who I swore had been put on this earth for the single reason of bringing me misery, stood behind me ready with his snarky bullshit even though he likely knew I was hung way over.

  “Go away. It’s too early for your crap,” I said as I attempted to lift my head without feeling like it was going to explode all over the back bar.

  “Just wondering how you’re handling all those balls you have in the air,” he said in that tone that told me he thought I wasn’t handling anything at all.

  I groaned and slowly turned around to see him smiling down at me. “Don’t worry about my balls, Kane. Concentrate on your own balls, which I suspect are a nasty shade of blue by now.”

  Kane threw his head back and laughed way too loudly for me in my state. “You never fail to go for the sex joke. Trust me. My balls are fine. Thanks for caring. It’s your balls and the people you share them with that’s the concern of all of us here, Stef. Are you still managing Lola while you try to get back into Shay’s pants? Any luck with that, by the way?”

  He knew I’d struck out with Shay the night before, even though I doubted she’d said anything to him about it. Probably watched my office door from the second floor like some kind of fucking stalker.

  “I told you I’d handle Lola. As for Shay, it’s in the bag, big brother. Just sit back and watch how a master works.”

  He pursed his lips and smacked them loudly. “In the bag, huh? I didn’t get that last night.”

  I walked around him toward the front bar, wishing he’d just leave me alone with my booming headache. He followed and after I downed my fifth glass of water since I woke up, I felt slightly better.

  Good enough to spar with him, at least.

  “You said yourself that she would take something more. Isn’t that how you put it? Well, that means she’s going to take a little more time than my usuals. Don’t worry, Kane. I’ll win our bet and then you’ll finally see how to handle a woman so if you ever get another one to spend any time with you, you’ll know what to d
o.”

  “Stefan, I’m more concerned that you know how to juggle all these women. If it was just Shay, I’d be far less interested in your nightly activities. It’s not, though. Lola needs to be taken care of.”

  “I told you I’d handle it, so I’ll handle it! Get off my back about it, for fuck’s sake!”

  Kane narrowed his eyes to slits and stared at me. “Don’t mess this up, Stefan. We can’t carry your ass forever. It’s time you carried your weight around here. I will say this, though. At least we haven’t been sued in the last couple months.”

  Before I could tell him to fuck off, he headed off in the direction of Cash’s office, likely to discuss at length how little they thought of my abilities in running this place and how big a pain in the ass I was to both of them.

  Whatever. They could both fuck off.

  I knew how to handle my business. When the time came, I’d manage Lola like I managed everything else in this fucking place. Until then, my focus would continue to be on Shay and whatever game she was playing.

  What was she up to? Our time together had been hot, so it couldn’t be she didn’t want a repeat. She may be that science nerd everywhere else, but around me she couldn’t hide the sexy, even if she wanted to. There was no way she didn’t have a good time at her apartment. So why did she give me the rebuff last night in my office?

  Pouring myself another glass of water, I trudged back to the scene of her rejection and sat down behind my desk to try to get some work done. Cash’s repeated demands for my monthlies played in my head, but as much as I wanted to get them done just to get him off my back, I couldn’t concentrate. In part, it was the hangover, but even more it was Shay.

  Someone knocked on my office door, and I silently promised God I’d give up anything he demanded if only he could make it not be Kane. Quietly, I called out, “Come!” and waited to see if my prayer had been answered.

  The door opened slowly and through the crack Olivia’s red hair peeked through. Thank you, God. Olivia I could handle. In fact, she might be just the person I needed at that moment. I hadn’t made any headway on my Shay problem, so maybe she could point me in the right direction.

  “Stefan, do you have a minute? Cash wanted me to bring you up to speed on next week’s party. Angie has made at least a half dozen changes since I sent you the details, so I thought I’d come over and go over them with you.”

  “Sure. Just speak quietly because you’re competing with the effects of last night’s tequila binge, okay?”

  Olivia gave me that knowing look she often had when I said things like that to her. While I didn’t think she’d ever been much of a partier—she was far too much like Cash to ever be a wild girl—I did get the sense that she knew all about that life. Maybe she’d had a boyfriend like me at one point?

  “Another wild night, Stefan? Your brother told me he thought you were settling down a little. I guess that was just wishful thinking?” she asked as she sat down in front of my desk.

  “Settling down? Why would he think that?”

  She shrugged and smiled. “I think maybe Kane said something to him about it. And what you said to me the other day led me to believe…”

  “Ugh. Kane isn’t someone you or Cash should believe about anything concerning me. As far as settling down goes, I’m happy the way things are, so no, I’m not, girl or no girl.”

  “Okay. I’m sure they didn’t mean any harm. It’s just that you’re so different from them I think sometimes they don’t understand you.”

  “They want me to be just like them. Well, I’m not and I’m never going to be.”

  She rifled through the papers on her lap. “I think that’s part of it. I knew from the first time I met you that you were different from them.” Looking up, she said, “You’ve got what my mother calls Youngest Child Syndrome.”

  Youngest Child Syndrome sounded like something that came from a nuclear disaster. That couldn’t be good. “What’s that?”

  “The youngest child is always a little wilder, a little more carefree than his or her older siblings. By the time parents get to the last child, they’re more relaxed and easygoing about things.”

  “Are you trying to say my parents had lower expectations for me than they did for Cash? The heir and the spare?” I asked, the defensiveness creeping into my voice even as I tried to hide it.

  Olivia quickly shook her head. “No, no. Nothing like that. It’s just that younger siblings are more carefree. Your brother is by his nature serious, Stefan. You know that. Do you know that the first time I met your mother that day we were all out at her house for Labor Day I instantly understood why you are like you are? You’re just like her. I imagine Cash is just like your father.”

  I thought back to the last few years of my father’s life and had to agree. “He is. They named him right. Cassian March IV. He’s just like my father. A hardass until his last breath.”

  “See? You can’t blame him for being so serious. He comes by it naturally.”

  “And Kane? What’s the explanation for him? He’s not the youngest or the oldest.”

  A sly grin brightened up her face. “Kane’s the outsider here, so it’s not surprising he’s like he is. He didn’t grow up a March.”

  “More like a pain in my ass. Outsider? He owns just as much of this club as Cash and I do.”

  “I know, but he’s had to deal with being your brother without being a member of your family all his life. That was likely very hard for him.”

  I couldn’t bring myself to feel sorry for Kane at that moment. Not after he’d intentionally set out to piss me off as soon as he saw me today.

  “I wouldn’t worry about Kane. He and Cash are more alike than Cash is with his own brother, so I’m more the outsider than he ever could be.”

  Olivia’s brown eyes filled with a look of sympathy. “Maybe they’re jealous of you, Stefan. Serious people like the three of us see people like you as having a much easier time of it. You never seem to worry about anything. We’d like to be like that, but we can’t be. It’s not in our natures.”

  I liked the idea of Cash and Kane jealous of me. They rode me so much about everything from how I ran the bar to who I slept with that I’d convinced myself they practically hated me.

  “All you have to do is have a good time in life. No regrets. No worries. If what I want doesn’t come to me, there’s something just as good coming right after it. That’s how I live.”

  A chuckle escaped from her lips, and she shook her head. “If only it was that easy, Stefan. That kind of thing only works for people like you, though.”

  As we talked over the details for the party, that last thing she said repeated in my head over and over. That kind of thing only works for people like you, though. Maybe she was right about that. Maybe that’s why my brothers seemed to resent me so often. It didn’t make dealing with their shit any easier, but the thought of them seeing me as some golden boy did make me feel better.

  Olivia left and slowly my hangover eased up, so by dinnertime I looked forward to the night in front of me. Shay would be working again, and I’d have another chance to work my magic with her.

  I heard another knock on my door and prepared myself for Cash or Kane to walk through after my talk with Olivia, but instead Lola appeared in front of me. Lately, she caused me almost as much grief as my half-brother. I knew I had to keep her happy, and I didn’t really have a problem with her as one of my workers. She knew how to handle the bar, and the members loved her. The problem occurred when what she wanted from me came into play. Ever since Kane told me I had to sleep with her to make sure we kept on that scumbag Shank’s good side, all the things I liked about her seemed to just disappear.

  Dressed in her usual—the tiniest skirt that barely covered her ass and a Club X t-shirt a size too small so her fake tits nearly busted through the thin fabric—she looked like she was trying too hard. Why I’d never noticed before I had no idea, but now, I couldn’t imagine wanting her ever again. Twirling the en
ds of her blond hair around her forefinger, she batted her eyes at me and smiled. “Hey, Stefan. I just wanted to stop in and see how you were doing.”

  I knew what she was wondering about. Why hadn’t I called her into my office for our usual fuck sessions? “Hey, Lo. I’m good. Same old, same old. You know how it is.”

  She bit her lower lip either to signal her nervousness or to look sexy and said quietly, “Are you busy? Do you want me to come back later tonight?”

  “No. I’m fine. Do you need anything for the bar or have a problem with the schedule?”

  Her expression told me she was confused. I’d never acted so businesslike with her. From the first night, I’d always been all about getting in her pants.

  Lola took a few steps toward my desk and stopped. Looking down toward her fingers fidgeting near where her black skirt hit the tops of her thighs, she frowned and asked in a voice barely above a whisper, “Is something wrong, Stefan? Did I do something…?” She let her sentence fade away before she mentioned us together.

  “No. You’re golden out there. I don’t have a better bartender than you, Lo.”

  She smiled and looked up at me. “Even Shay? She’s good, don’t you think?”

  “Yeah, she’s good too, but even she knows you’re the best out there.”

  As I finished saying the last word, Lola’s smile fell away, and I watched her shoulders sag slightly. “Oh. Thanks. I try.”

  Instantly, I felt like I should change the topic. “You’re here early. Want to get a jump on the night?”

  “Yeah. I wanted to talk to you about something, but I think you answered my question even before I asked it.”

  I knew where this was going, but I didn’t help her. It was shitty of me, but I let her stand there wearing her heart on her sleeve and did nothing to make her feel better. Kane and Cash may have thought I had to sleep with her to protect us, but at that moment, I didn’t want to follow their rules. I’d sleep with who I fucking wanted, not who they deemed necessary.