Surrender

by K. M. Scott

  “Oh, God…I love when you do that,” she whimpered above me.

  I looked up at her and saw her watching me. Grinning, I opened my mouth and slowly bit down again as her eyes closed in ecstasy. I couldn’t let the other one feel neglected, so I moved over to her left nipple and sucked it hard into my mouth, loving the sound of her moan as it filled my ears.

  Shay’s hands fumbled with the button on my pants and then my zipper as she scrambled to move our lovemaking to the next level. I liked foreplay, but if she wanted to kick it up a notch, I was all about that too.

  She slipped my cock out and stroked me from balls to tip, sending my body into overdrive. Her nipple still in my mouth, I bit down hard and heard her squeal above me, “Ooohh!”

  Yanking my head back, she stared down at me with a look of pure need in her eyes. “I need you inside me. Now, Stefan.”

  I tore her panties off and grabbed her hips hard in my hands. Lifting her off me, I thrust my hips off the chair and rammed my cock into her wet and waiting cunt, loving the feel of her around me. Shay moaned and kissed me long and deep as I began to move her up and down on me.

  Suddenly, her eyes grew wide and she shook her head as she pushed down on my hands to stop her movement. “You’re not wearing a condom. We need to stop.”

  “I don’t want to stop,” I said as I moved my hands back into position on her hips. “Whatever happens, we’re together.”

  She shook her head again. “No. I can’t risk getting pregnant.”

  I sat there with my cock still inside her and knew she was right. She was leaving and nothing could change that.

  Even if all I wanted to do was change that fact.

  Nodding, I gently lifted her off me and sat there as she picked up her clothes. She turned to me and held out her hand. “Come on. We can pick up where we left off inside.”

  I straightened myself and took her hand as she led me to my bedroom. Still rock hard, my cock stood ready to go, but the rest of me couldn’t shake the truth of her leaving. I’d ignored it best as I could, but I couldn’t anymore. Shay and I were on borrowed time, and in less than two months the happiest time of my adult life would be over.

  “Stefan, I know what you’re thinking. Don’t. We were always just supposed to be about having a good time, remember?”

  I tried to force a smile, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want just a good time anymore. “I know. It’s just that things changed. I don’t know when or how, but I want more than that.”

  Shay pulled me down onto the bed and kissed me, making me wish I could stop time right at that moment. “And across the city hearts just broke.”

  I looked down into her green eyes and told her what I’d never said to any other woman before. “I don’t care about any of them. It’s all you. It’s been all you since that night on the beach.”

  She cradled my face and smiled. “Don’t think about the future. Think about right now the two of us here together.”

  I tried to do that as I made love to her, giving her everything I had of myself, but for the first time ever I wasn’t able to use sex to push away thoughts of something bad. Now all sex did was make me realize how much I cared about her and how much it was going to hurt when she left.

  Shay lay her head on my chest and silently traced her finger over the tattoo across my ribs, but I sensed there was something on her mind. My fingers stroked her long brown hair, and I leaned over to kiss the top of her head. “What’s up, princess? I get the feeling you have something to say.”

  Shaking her head, she murmured, “Uh-uh,” but I didn’t believe her. There was a problem.

  “Tell me. Remember? The honesty thing between us?”

  She craned her neck to look up at me. “I’m just wondering how many women have been here before me.” Burying her head in my chest, she whispered, “I’m sorry.”

  “I deserve these questions. I know. The way I’ve lived my life makes them valid questions. The answer is none. I’ve never had anyone here before you.”

  Rolling away from me, she looked up at the ceiling and frowned. “Don’t lie. It makes it worse.”

  I slid over next to her and gently turned her head toward me. “I’m not lying. I have an office at the club, remember?”

  “No one? Ever?”

  “No one.”

  Her green eyes wide with curiosity, she asked, “Then why did you ask me to come here tonight?”

  “I wanted you to see my place before I lost it. I wanted to impress you.”

  Shay blew the air out of her lungs and looked up toward the ceiling again. “That doesn’t sound like a very good lie.”

  “No lie. Trust me. I’m much smoother than that. If I wanted to lie, I’m pretty good at it. I could have thought of a good one.”

  She knitted her brows and turned toward me. “You shouldn’t tell me you’re a good liar. Why would I believe anything you say?”

  “Because we’ve got that trust thing between us. I like telling you the truth, Shay. You never pull your punches, but you show me your respect even when you’re telling me I’m doing something stupid or you disagree with me. I like having that in my life. I don’t want to lose that. I don’t want to lose you.”

  “I don’t know what to think about you. You’ve been nothing but a man whore your entire adult life, and now you tell me you aren’t that person anymore because of me. But I didn’t do anything. I didn’t tell you to change. I didn’t insist you be anyone but yourself. Why would you be different now?”

  “Because of you. It’s as simple as that, and trust me, I’m a master of simple. I’ve been that all my life.”

  “There’s nothing simple about you, Stefan March. You seemed to be one thing, and I knew how to think about that person. Then we starting spending time together, and I found out you were entirely different than I thought. But somewhere deep in my mind I still wonder if all of this is a façade you’ll shake at some point, and I’ll be left hating myself for believing you were anything but that person I met that first day.”

  I pulled her close to me and held her. “I guess you’re going to have to take a chance and believe the leopard skin was just a coat and underneath is just a sexy tiger.”

  “These animal metaphors are getting confusing,” she said with a tiny smile.

  “Then just trust your gut, or if it’s telling you to leave and never come back, trust your heart. That’s what I’m doing.”

  Shay snuggled up against me and hugged me to her. “I’m never going to forgive you if you turn out to be that guy. Just so you know.”

  I kissed the top of her head, closing my eyes to listen to the soft sound of her breathing in and out. If she needed more convincing to believe I wasn’t that old Stefan anymore, then that’s what I’d have to do. As she fell asleep on my chest, I thought about her never forgiving me if I let her down and hated the empty feeling I got inside.

  I know, Shay. I know. I won’t let you down.

  After taking Shay back to her place to get her bathing suit because she refused to let me buy her one, we headed down to the water for a few hours of jet skiing. I hadn’t ridden in nearly three weeks, but as soon as I got on the water I realized how much I’d missed it.

  Like on my bike, Shay wrapped her arms around me, but she held on a little too tightly. Turning around, I saw the fear in her eyes. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

  “I’ve never been on one of these,” she admitted.

  “It’s just like my bike. Just hold on. I won’t let anything hurt you.”

  “It’s not that.” Shay bit her lip nervously and knitted her brows. “I don’t know how to swim. Even though I have this life jacket on, this is scary.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  Shay lowered her head. “I didn’t want to be boring.”

  “Princess, you’re never boring. If you don’t want to do this, just say the word and we can do whatever you want today.”

  She shook her head and looked up at me. “No, I want to. I’ve lived he
re all my life and never gone out on the water.”

  “I’ll take it slow at first, and when you’re ready, just let me know, okay?”

  Taking a deep breath, she let it out slowly and nodded. “Okay. If I hang on too tight, just tell me. Water just freaks me out.”

  “Shay, we don’t have to do this.”

  She forced a smile and squeezed her arms around my waist. “I’ve got my sunscreen and life jacket on, so I’m ready. Let’s do this!”

  I took it easy, but from the moment the engine started, her cheek was pressed to my back and her arms locked tightly around me. For the first few minutes, her hands trembled against my stomach, but then slowly her hold on me eased and before long I heard her giggling behind me.

  “This is so much fun! I had no idea!” she squealed in my ear.

  I sped up and yelled back, “Hold on!”

  “Don’t go so fast! Stefan! Not so fast!”

  I covered her hand on my waist with mine and squeezed gently to let her know she was safe. “It’s okay. I’m here. I won’t let you get hurt. Don’t let go!”

  We soared across the water, bouncing against the waves and one another for hours, and her fear gradually evolved into trust for me. When she got frightened, she yelled and squeezed me tighter so I slowed down. After a while, she didn’t even have to say anything. I knew a squeeze meant slow down, so I did.

  Pulling up to the dock, I let her off and took the jet ski back to where I kept it before meeting up with her to take her home. I’d had a great time, but she stayed quiet as we walked to my bike. I had pushed her past her limits a few times, so maybe it had been too much?

  “You okay?” I asked as I reached out for her hand.

  She looked down as my fingers weaved in between hers and shook her head. “Yeah. That was fun.”

  “We can do it again, if you like.”

  Shay stopped and turned to face me. “I’d like that.”

  “Good. It’s a date.”

  “A date…”

  “We can call it that now, you know. That’s sort of what we’re doing together.”

  Shay smiled up at me, making me feel like the luckiest guy in the world. “Dating, huh? The women of Tampa will never believe it.”

  “Funny. I don’t care what they believe. All I care about is that you believe in us.” I stopped in front of my bike and took her in my arms. “Tell me you believe in us. I need to hear it from you, Shay.”

  She hesitated for a few moments and then finally said, “I believe you want me to see the best in you, Stefan. I believe all this has happened so fast that I’m scared of what we’re doing even more than I am of being in the water. But I believe I’ve never been happier with anyone in my life, so I’m trying to forget about my doubts and fears.”

  I cupped her face and kissed her softly, wishing we were back in my bedroom with me buried deep inside her. “You’ll see. I’ll put all those doubts and fears to shame. Then all you’ll have is that happiness.”

  My phone vibrated, and I looked to see a text from Cash. Need to talk this afternoon.

  “Duty calls. Time for me to go meet with my brothers. Let me get you back to your place.”

  Cash and Kane sat in their usual places around Cash’s desk when I walked in feeling like I was bouncing on air. Unable to keep the grin off my face, I asked, “What’s up, big brothers?”

  “Stef, you look different today? What’s going on?” Cash asked, immediately suspicious of my happiness.

  “Just off a midday quickie in your office with the flavor of the week?” Kane added in his usual ballbusting way.

  I sat down and laced my fingers behind my head. “About that. I’m dating Shay. Feel free to be jealous, Kane.”

  “I’m happy for you, Stef,” Cash said with a smile I knew was genuine. “I figured as much when I saw you two at the hospital. She’s not your usual type, though, little brother. Does this mean you’re finally growing up?”

  “I’m a changed man, gentlemen. The man whore is gone, replaced by the man you see in front of you, happy with one woman.”

  “No way,” Kane said with a sneer. “I don’t believe it.”

  “I can understand your jealousy. Shay’s got it all—looks, brains, a great personality.”

  “A great personality? When the hell have you ever cared about a great personality? And what happened to you two just being friends? I knew that was total bullshit. Even more important, does Lola know?”

  “We didn’t want to be just friends. And I have no goddamned idea what Lola knows.”

  Cash cleared his throat and both Kane and I stopped our sniping at one another to look at him. “You and your love life are sort of what this meeting is about. Shank seems to be more and more miserable every time I speak to him. He called me this morning and between the veiled threats and his tone of voice, I get the feeling Lola already knows you’re off the market and has told Daddy. I don’t begrudge you happiness, Stef, but this thing with Lola is getting away from you.”

  “Have you made any progress finding anyone else who can help us? There’s got to be someone in this town who’s willing to help us with more power than that scumbag Shank. We’ve got politicians and businessmen as members here. Can’t they help?”

  “I’m working on it, but this kind of thing takes time. I can’t just meet with someone and ask them if they want to help us keep the illegal activities of the club under wraps so the cops don’t close us down. It requires a little more finesse than that. I’ve got a councilman I think might be able to help, but I need more time.”

  I looked at Cash and Kane and shook my head. “I’m not fucking up what I have with Shay over this.”

  Cash quickly put up his hands to calm me down. “We’re not saying you have to ruin anything, Stefan. We just need to figure out how to handle this. Lola isn’t happy, and now her father isn’t happy.”

  “Well, then we need to think of something else because sleeping with Lola isn’t an answer anymore, Cash. I can’t do that to Shay.”

  “We’ll take care of it. We always do, don’t we?” Cash said, trying to reassure me. “I think I speak for Kane too when I say we wouldn’t ask you to hurt someone for us or the club.”

  I looked over at Kane and searched for the truth in his face. Did he agree with Cash or would he be that same guy he’d been for so long when it came to me?

  Kane nodded. “Cash is right. No matter what I think of the mess with Lola, I don’t want to see you hurt Shay because of your past mistakes. She’s the only woman you’ve ever been with that didn’t disgust me.”

  “I’ll make sure to tell her,” I joked. “I’m sure she’ll love the compliment.”

  “But that doesn’t change the fact that the minute you and Shay let the rest of the world know you’re together, Shank’s days of helping us are over.”

  “We’ve already decided to play it cool. No public displays of affection at the club here. No acting like we’re a couple.”

  “I bet that was Shay’s idea,” Cash said with a chuckle.

  “It was. In my opinion, I should be able to date whoever the fuck I want, but she didn’t want the rest of the staff to know and give her grief for it. Another one of the great parts of her—her brain.”

  “I don’t think it matters if you put your relationship of display or not, Stefan,” Kane said somberly. “You’re not sleeping with Lola, which no doubt makes her unhappy. That will be enough for Shank, if she tells him.”

  Cash and Kane continued to discuss the Shank problem, but I didn’t tell them that Lola had all but warned me that if things didn’t go back to the way they were between us before Shay that her father wouldn’t help us anymore. I’d been able to handle her that night, but I had to think of something else because sweet-talking her wasn’t going to work anymore.

  I got up to leave, already sick of dealing with this Shank and his daughter bullshit for the day. “Let me know if you think of anything. In the meantime, I’ll try to be as busy as possible when Lola’s
around so there’s no chance of her thinking we could be together.”

  Cash nodded his head and smiled. “Mom’s being released this afternoon. You want to come with me when I go to pick her up?”

  “Sure. Maybe I’ll hang out at the house until right before work tonight. That way I can make sure she’s okay and avoid Lola.”

  “Good. I’ll find you on my way out in about an hour.”

  I headed out to my office to relax and text Shay until it was time to go to the hospital. I already missed her more than I’d ever missed any woman before her, a new feeling for me but one I liked.

  Hey, my mother’s being discharged this afternoon & I’m going to hang out with her until work. See you then.

  She texted back immediately Tell her I said I’m happy she’s feeling better. Getting her more magazines? LOL

  Never going to let me live that down huh? Better watch out or I won’t spoil you like that. :)

  Uh oh. I better be nice then. See you tonight. XOXO

  I stared at those letters on my screen as my smile grew larger. XOXO.

  I heard my door open and looked up to see Shank standing in my office doorway. “Stefan, I’d like to speak to you. I think we need to talk.”

  “Sure. Come on in,” I said as I put my phone aside.

  He closed the door behind him and took a seat in the single chair in front of my desk. His greasy hair looked oil-soaked and even his clothes had a grimy look to them as I looked at him now. He really was a scumbag.

  “What’s up, John?” I asked, forcing a smile, even though I guessed what this visit was for.

  Shank rubbed his tongue over his teeth as if he was cleaning them and made a clucking noise. “I like you, Stefan. My daughter likes you even more than I do. You know that, don’t you?”

  “Lola’s my best bartender, John. That’s why I made her head bartender over everyone else. I’d be lost without her. In fact, I just told her that the other night.”

  “She said something like that. She’s a good girl, my Lola. A little too trusting, but she gets that from her mother, God rest her soul. Lola had to endure being brought up by me after her mother died when she was just seven. I’d hoped some of my suspicious nature would have rubbed off on her, but it doesn’t seem to have.”