In Too Deep

by Fox, Harley

  Trista

  The wind whistles past my ears as Flynn and I ride our bikes away from the warehouse, away from the madness that’s about to unfold, thanks to Will Silver.

  Ugh, I don’t want to think about it. I don’t want to think about what’s going to happen with the Chains. Part of me hopes that the Bullets will all just get drunk and not be able to go over to the Chain Gang, but another part of me knows that won’t happen. They’re too loyal, all of them. They’ll do it. After all, they’re just following orders.

  This past week has been total shit. I wrote a letter to Captain Hartridge about Devon, and how he tried to rape me in the locker room. I expected him to get fired, or put on suspension, or hell, at least reprimanded. But nope, none of that happened. He was at the next meeting, his nose looking red and broken, but the captain didn’t say anything. She didn’t mention his nose, and she didn’t talk to me about my letter. I guess Devon was right.

  That place is shit. Pure and utter shit and I want to get out.

  I want to leave. I’ve decided it. I want to leave Santa Espera, run away with Flynn and never look back. I have money saved up; I can move my mom into a home. It would be better for her there. I’ve been taking care of her because I thought that, maybe, she would snap out of it. That this catatonia was just a reaction to hearing that Sal died, and that eventually she would realize that she has a daughter—me—who loves her just as much as he did.

  But it doesn’t look like she’s going to come out of it. It’s been almost nine months and she still hasn’t moved. She just looks like a statue, the same person in the same position, day in, day out. I need to realize that the responsible thing to do is to let people who know what they’re doing take care of her. I need to snap out of this fantasy I’m in. I can’t do it. I can’t take on a task this enormous.

  I look ahead and we’re approaching Flynn’s apartment building. Flynn. The only light in my dark, dark life. I just feel so alone whenever I’m not with him. We reach the parking lot and park our bikes side by side, getting off of them, walking to the door together. We’re silent. I watch Flynn as he opens it up and we take the stairs up to the second floor, where he lives. Down the hallway to his door and he opens it up. I feel so alone. I want him so badly. We walk in and I close the door behind us, locking it.

  My arms are around Flynn before I even realize I’m doing it. I kiss him—a long, hard kiss. There’s nothing tender about it. I feel him react but he’s too slow for me. I need this. I’ve missed him so much this past week, and I need him right now.

  Finally his lips start to react, moving against mine. Our tongues meet and I moan, my body flooding with endorphins, giving me that high that I’ve been craving so badly. I slough off his leather jacket, hearing it fall to the ground around his feet. One hand slides under his T-shirt while the other one grabs onto the front of his crotch. I feel his hard body, his abs and chest and back. I rub at him, waking up his cock, getting it as ready for me as I am for him.

  His bulge pushes back out against me and I can feel my heartbeat going faster. I unzip his pants, pulling at the belt, fishing inside and wrapping my fingers around his enormous member. It feels so good in my hand, I begin stroking it automatically. Flynn moans against my lips and the sound of his voice sends shivers down my spine. I’m so wet for him, the heat between my legs is outrageous.

  I pull us down, down onto the floor right in the front hallway, pushing Flynn down onto his back. His hands are on me but it’s not enough. It’s too slow. I break off our kiss and reach down to my own jeans, undoing them, stripping them off of my body. They bunch up with my panties in a wad of cotton and denim, and then I climb onto him, straddling him, grabbing onto his cock and getting ready to slide down onto it.

  “Whoa, wait,” Flynn says, and I halt, seeing him reach over to his fallen leather jacket where he fishes out a condom. I blink, honestly having forgotten those things exist. He takes it out and passes it to me, where I roll it down over his shaft. That done, I lift myself up and guide him to me, feeling him enter me, letting out a slow and torturous breath as I slide down onto him, reveling at the sensation of him filling me up.

  It feels so good. Once I’m all the way down I put my hands on his chest and begin moving, sliding up and down. Flynn looks incredible underneath me. I lean down and kiss him, his arms wrapping around me, holding me close. I start to move faster, once again beginning to lose myself in the moment. All the stresses from this week, all the anger and pain and anguish I’ve been dealing with is being pushed to the side, to the perimeter of my mind. None of that matters now. Nothing matters, except for him and me.

  Flynn pushes his hips up into me and I groan against his lips, biting softly on the lower one, kissing him harder as I grind myself into him. He feels so good inside of me. His cock fills me entirely, and I can feel every inch of it, can feel every thrust, every pulse of his veins. I move faster, wanting more, wanting him. His hands slide up and down my body, slipping underneath my T-shirt and leather jacket.

  I quickly remove the jacket, throwing it against the wall in my haste. Flynn’s hands grab onto my breasts and I reach behind me, undoing the clasp of my bra. Reaching down, I strip off my T-shirt, my bra coming off shortly after. I’m completely naked, riding the cock of a fully dressed man. I drop down and hold onto him, grinding harder, feeling him push up into me.

  I want more. My hands pull up on his T-shirt, but he’s lying on his back and it can only go up so far. So I settle with what I can get, grabbing at his stomach, clawing up toward his chest. He moans and finds my nipples, giving them a pinch. I gasp against his lips, hot pleasure drowning my mind. He feels so wonderful inside me, underneath me. I never want this to end. I can feel my pleasure building up inside of my pussy, radiating out throughout my body. It gets higher and higher, and I press my lips down hard against Flynn’s, trying to stifle my moans as my pussy and clit glow brighter with pleasure.

  And then it crescendos, and I cry out against his mouth as I start to come around him. Flynn wraps his arms around me, holding me tight against his body, and he unleashes his own cry as I feel him pulse hard inside of me, his cock spurting out his cum inside the latex sheath that separates us. We lie there together, fucking each other’s orgasms, and when it’s finally over I feel out of breath, my fingers tingling and my head feeling light.

  But it’s not enough. I can feel the weight of earlier stresses begin to come back, angry at having been pushed to the side for so long. I roll off of Flynn but keep kissing him. I get to my knees and grab onto his hands, pulling at him.

  “Mm, hey,” he says. “What’s going on?”

  “Come on,” I say to him. “Let’s go again. Let’s get into bed.”

  Flynn moves up to a sitting position and I stand up, still holding onto one of his hands, pulling him to standing. His cock is still hard, the end of the condom heavy with semen. I reach down and pull it off of him, tying it up and tossing it on the floor. Then I drop to my knees and wrap my lips around his shaft, hearing a surprised cry from up above as I suck on him, licking off his juices, cleaning him up and swallowing every drop of his that I can. Standing back up, I lean up to give him a kiss as I grab onto his hand again, pulling him toward the bedroom.

  “Come on,” I say, urging him. Flynn follows as I lead him. We go through the doorway and when I reach his bed I let go of his hand, climbing on, crawling on all fours, facing away from him. I turn my head and look at him from over my shoulder. “Come on, Flynn. I want you to fuck me. Fuck me with your huge cock.”

  My head drops down and I waggle my ass at him, waiting for him to stick it in me again, to take me away from all of this. But that doesn’t happen. So I lift my head and look back at him again and he’s still standing there, looking at me with concern on his face.

  “Trista,” he says. “Is everything all right?”

  “Yeah,” I lie. “Everything’s great. Now just fuck me, all right? Take your cock and put it in me. Please.”

  I waggl
e my ass again, trying to beckon him on, but it doesn’t work. Instead Flynn climbs onto the bed beside me and slides himself forward, until his head reaches mine. He puts a hand on my back and gives me a gentle push down, so that I’m lying down beside him. I suddenly feel so stupid, and naked, lying here on his bed without any clothes. But he’s looking at me with care in his eyes.

  “Trista, what’s going on?” he asks. “What is it that’s bothering you?”

  “I told you, nothing,” I say. His hand is still on me, and he begins sliding it up and down my back. It feels good, but that look of concern doesn’t go away.

  “I can tell something’s the matter,” he insists. “Is it the truce being broken? Honestly, I think that was a mistake on Will’s part.”

  “No, it’s … it’s not that,” I say.

  Flynn looks at me, never looking away, until finally I drop my gaze. I let out a sigh. I have to tell him. He has a right to know.

  “Flynn … have you ever had a secret? Something you’ve held back from someone you really care for?”

  Flynn doesn’t answer right away, and when I look back up his eyes have dulled a little bit.

  “Yes,” he finally says, and my eyebrows raise. “I do.”

  I wasn’t expecting this. “What … what is it?”

  Now it’s Flynn’s turn to sigh. His hand on my back stops moving, but it stays where it is.

  “So I joined the Bullets … a long time ago. Thirteen years. And when I joined I was just a kid out of high school. I didn’t know anything. The Bullets helped me develop my self-confidence. They helped me learn how to fight. And they helped me … get laid for the first time. And since then I’ve sort of figured sex out, pretty well. But something was missing from my life, and I didn’t know what.

  “There was this one woman who joined, Elizabeth Townsend. She came in a couple years after I did, but right from the get-go she knew what she was doing. Drinking, fighting, it didn’t matter. She bested a lot of us, including me a few times. I was into her, and she was into me, and so we started hooking up. Sleeping together. At first it was just whenever we went out and got too drunk to care, but after a while it started to be that we didn’t need to get drunk as much. And then we didn’t need to be drunk at all.

  “So we were together. For a long time. Five years. We’d talked a lot about our future together—we were already living together at that point, but we’d saved up some money and were thinking of buying a house. Maybe even getting married. And then Elizabeth surprised me with some news: she was pregnant. She showed me the stick. She was as shocked as I was.

  “I was … happy. For the first time in my life I was really happy. I felt like I had some direction in my life, finally. Like I knew where I was going. We were going to be a family! We could get married and settle down, maybe leave the Bullets, maybe not, we weren’t sure about that. But what we did know was that we were going to raise this kid right.

  “Months went by. And we were planning throughout all of it. Pooling our money together. Back then, the Bullets had a thing—which we still do, from time to time, but I don’t do it anymore—where we’d go to a rival bar and try to start some shit. I don’t know why we did it … maybe just to show everyone we were still the top dogs.

  “Anyway, Elizabeth and I went to one one night. Gangbusters. It’s not there anymore. It, um … it’s gone. But we went there. It was just the two of us. Elizabeth was about seven months pregnant at that time, so obviously she wasn’t drinking. So I took it upon myself to drink for the both of us. I, um … I got into a fight. With this guy, I don’t even know if he was part of another gang or not. But it got bad really fast. Before I knew it, everyone was involved, the whole bar it seemed like. And it happened like that, just … zero to sixty.

  “I was punching, kicking everyone I saw. Breaking arms. And then I saw her. Elizabeth. She was down on the ground, and there was … blood, coming out of her nose and head.

  “I tore people away to get to her. I was yelling … I think I was yelling … but people were still coming down on me. It was like I was in hell. She was so close. Finally I got to her and I picked her up. I remember thinking she weighed more than she usually did. I managed to carry her out. I don’t know how I got out of there. I called for an ambulance and one came, put her on a stretcher. I rode with her to the hospital.”

  I’m watching Flynn and he pauses for a moment, looking frozen, stuck where he is. And then he keeps going.

  “She died. That night, on the hospital bed. Internal bleeding. She was seven months pregnant with my child, and they both died together.”

  He blinks, a long, slow blink.

  “That happened five years ago. I … wanted to kill myself. But the Bullets … they pulled me back from the edge. It took a long time, and a lot of drink and sleepless nights, but eventually I … started being happy again. It wasn’t the same. I thought it would never be the same. But I could live throughout the day, and that was all I needed.

  “After a while I started seeing other women again. The first few dates were awful. Just … I was a wreck. But eventually I started sleeping with them, these other women. But I told myself that I would never get as close to anyone else as I had with Elizabeth.” He lets out a small laugh. “Call it perverted or dumb or whatever, but some of the time that Elizabeth and I felt our closest was when we were making love. So I vowed to myself never to sleep with the same girl more than once. I had to save myself from that heartache. And I had to save them from me.

  “And that’s how things were. For a long time. For years.” He turns and looks at me. “Until you came along.”

  I blink, surprised. Flynn’s lips curve up into a little smile.

  “You were different. The first time you and I slept together, honestly, I thought it would just be a quick fuck and it’d be over. That time in the bathroom. I remember it … it was so vivid. There was a connection between us. I don’t know if you felt it as strongly as I did, but it … it wasn’t …” He takes in a deep breath and lets it out. “I haven’t felt that since I was with Elizabeth. Or maybe even … when I was with Elizabeth. I don’t know. It was just so different, like nothing else I’d ever felt before.

  “The times after that … those two times … I couldn’t help myself. I knew I was breaking my own rule, but I had to have you. And then after that … after that things had changed. I could feel it. Something had changed between us, you and me. I don’t know what it is, but it’s there. I honestly … thought that I could never love anyone again. But there’s something about you that makes me want to be with you all the time, Trista. And I think … I think I love you. I know we haven’t been together that long, but I can tell. This is real. I love you, Trista. And I don’t ever want to let you go.”

  Flynn is smiling now, a real, true smile. His eyes are locked onto mine, and they’re shimmering. My brain is flying a mile a minute. I’m stuck for what to say. I felt like I had everything under control just a few minutes ago, and now this. Now this has happened.

  “Trista?”

  I open my mouth to speak. “I, uh … um, I …”

  Flynn lets out a little laugh. “It’s okay hon, you don’t have to say anything.”

  He leans forward and gives me a kiss, his hand running up and down my back again. I’m kissing him back, but mechanically, my eyes still open. I can’t just not do this! I have to!

  “Mm …” I say, and I stop the kiss, but Flynn’s forehead leans against mine and his eyes are still closed.

  “This feels so good,” he says to me. “I swear, I could stay like this forever.”

  “Flynn.”

  “Yeah?”

  I have to do it. I swear my heart’s stopped.

  “Trista? What is it?”

  Do it. Do it. DO IT!!!

  “I’m a cop.”

  I feel Flynn freeze, his hand stopping where it is on my back. He takes his forehead from mine and his eyes are open now. He’s looking at me, and he isn’t smiling now.

  �
�What?”

  I have to swallow. Now my heart’s started up again, and it’s going a mile a minute. I pull myself up to kneeling and Flynn rolls onto his side to look up at me.

  “I’m a cop. A police officer. I … I’m doing an undercover mission, on my own. No one else knows I’m doing it, not even my captain. It’s entirely on my own, and it’s … it’s to take down the Bullets.”

  Flynn doesn’t smile. He doesn’t blink. He doesn’t say or do anything, so I keep talking.

  “I started it, um, well I guess I decided to start it in March. On the fourth of March, which was my brother’s birthday. He, um … wow, this is complicated. You know that fight at your old warehouse? The one back in November?”

  Flynn doesn’t answer.

  “Well, my brother was in that fight. Sal. He was the leader of the Chains, and he died, and when he did my mom she, um, she went into a sort of catatonic shock, and I had to start taking care of her. I mean, I didn’t have to, but I wanted to, and I wanted to make sure that I was going to be there when she woke up, which hasn’t actually happened yet.

  “But Sal’s death was awful to me. And it was even worse because we couldn’t … I couldn’t go to his funeral. His proper one. He never told anyone that his sister was a cop, and his funeral had all the Chains members there so I had to … anyway, that’s not important.

  “Four months passed and I was pissed. It was so … I mean, the injustice of it all, and for what? A little rivalry? Four months passed and his birthday was coming up and I knew it was going to be a hard day, but I didn’t know just how hard. I had to take the day off of work, I was crying so hard. And so that’s when I decided that I was going to get my revenge. I knew my captain wouldn’t approve the mission, so I didn’t even bother asking. I just decided to do it myself. I wanted to get into the Bullets and find out all the bad things you guys were doing and then use it all to make arrests, in one big swoop.