by Renee Fowler
While Rose is happily dismantling her pancakes to lick off all the whipped cream, I reach over to grasp Trin’s hand. “We don’t have to stay here tonight,” I say quietly.
“I want you to, but I need to run out and get a few things.”
“Like what?”
“For starters, another lock for that door.” She points towards the deck out back. “I know there’s an alarm on it now, but how quick would she be able to be out there. The railings not that high. If she pushed one of the chairs over...” Trin pauses to shudder. “Maybe some baby gates for the stairs too?”
I laugh. “She’s not a baby, are you Rose? She can navigate stairs just fine. The extra lock up high on those french doors doesn’t sound like a bad idea though.”
“My mommy’s having a baby,” Rose informs Trin. “I’m going to have a brother or sister. I don’t know which one yet.”
Trin blinks rapidly, and looks to me for help. I shake my head slightly. Someone’s going to need to tell her eventually, but that someone should probably be Leah, and it probably shouldn’t be just yet. “Eat your breakfast, Rose. We’re going to see Aunt Becca after a while.” Maybe she can tell me how the hell I’m supposed to handle all this, because I’m at a complete loss.
“Where’s mommy?”
“You’re with me right now. You’ll see mommy later.”
“She got hurt.”
Those pancakes sit like lead in my stomach. “Yes, she did, but she’s going to be better before you know it.”
“I want to see her,” Rose whines.
“We can’t see her right now. She has to stay in the hospital so she can feel better.”
“Roger works at the hospital. So does my mommy,” Rose informs Trin.
“That’s what I hear,” Trin says, giving me a small smile. “That’s nice. They both get to help people, and now some people just like that are going to help your mommy.”
“They’re getting married,” Rose says. “And I’m going to be the flower girl.”
“That’s an important job. Have you been practicing?” Trin asks.
Rose shakes her head.
“Maybe I can help you rehearse after breakfast. How does that sound?”
Rose nods eagerly.
After breakfast Trin takes Rose upstairs to either practice being a flower girl, or to paw through that mountain of toys she’s bought for her niece. I take the opportunity to call Leah’s sister Naomi while I straighten up the kitchen at the same time.
Leah’s currently in surgery, the first of several she’ll be undergoing in the following days. Naomi promises to have her call and speak with Rose sometime tonight, or maybe tomorrow if she’s feeling up to it. “She’s a little out of it though. They got her numbed up pretty good.”
“I imagine.”
“Are you really going to be okay with Rose on your own?”
“Of course.” Rose is in daycare, soon to be preschool, and with my hours now none of that will be a problem.
“Because she’s gonna be laid up for a while, Gabe. A long while. She’s going to need physical therapy, and… It might be months before she’s up on her feet again.”
“I’ve got Rose. That’s one thing she doesn’t have to worry about, and when she’s feeling up to it I’ll bring her around to visit. Just let her know not to worry about Rose. She’s got everything else to deal with.”
Naomi promises to call if anything changes. I hang up, finish loading the dishwasher, and wipe up the mess Rose left behind.
Upstairs I don’t find the girls in Hope’s playroom. Following the sounds wafting through the open door at the end of the hall, I see Trin cradling Rose on her lap. She’s quietly singing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, pausing every other breath to point to a key for Rose to press.
Trin notices me hanging in the door, and her face lights up with a smile. “You might have yourself a little pianist on your hands. She’s a natural.”
I’m not sure if that’s true or not, but Rose seems to be enjoying herself nonetheless.
“Alright. Let’s show your daddy what we’ve been practicing.” Trin lifts Rose up, and sets her down on the ground. Rose scampers across the room to fetch a wicker basket filled with small scraps of crumpled up paper. Trin starts to play the familiar wedding processional. Smiling wide, Rose marches forward, a little out of time, as she flings the small paper balls in a wide arch.
My face hurts from smiling, and I suddenly can’t ever believe that I had reservations about introducing the two.
Maybe I don’t have any doubts remaining, but my older sister certainly does. She’s been pestering the shit out of me to bring Trin over, and I’ve made Becca promise to be nice.
It’s a little surprising the two of us are as close as we are with the huge fourteen year age gap between us. I don’t spend much time with the rest of my family, but Becca has always made a point to reach out, especially after I had Rose.
“I’m nervous,” Trin confesses in a whisper as we meander up the path that leads from the driveway to the front porch.
“I didn’t think you got nervous,” I say with a small smile. Trin has performed in front of packed arenas in the past, and she’s never been a shy person. “But there’s nothing to be nervous about. You remember Becca.”
“Sort of. I’m sure she remembers me.” Trin smoothes her hair down around her shoulders as Rose stomps up the steps ahead of us.
I curl my hand around her waist and give her a quick peck on the cheek. “I love you, and she’s going to love you too, so relax.”
“I love you too.” Trin takes a deep steadying breath. “Here we go.”
Rose barges right in the unlocked door. Becca’s place is chaotic and cluttered like usual. She has five kids, the oldest fifteen and the youngest seven.
“I didn’t know you were coming together,” Becca says through the open partition that leads into the kitchen. She turns off the faucet, and dries her hand on a dishtowel.
Originally the plan was for Trin to swing by after Rose was settled in and playing with her younger cousins, but of course nothing went according to plan.
Rose takes Trin by the hand and drags her through the house. Rose introduces her to Becca, and quickly points out that Trin let her decorate her pancake this morning with whipped cream for hair, and she’s teaching her how to be a flower girl.
“We’ve met before,” Becca says down towards Rose, then quickly lifts her smile back up towards Trin. “Long time no see, huh? How’ve you been?”
“I can’t complain. Thanks for having me.”
“I was gonna straighten up a bit before you got here.”
Trin waves her hand through the air. “You don’t have to on my account.”
“Can we go outside?” Rose asks.
Becca’s youngest few practically live outdoors. There’s a large flat yard out back, flanked by a thickly wooded area. “Seth is are already out there. Why don’t you go introduce him to Trin, and your uncle and I will get us all something to drink.”
My sister waits until we they’ve disappeared through the sliding glass door to ask. “You already have her spending the night with Rose over?”
“I know it wasn’t the way I planned on doing things, but-”
“What happened to letting Rose get used to the idea first?”
“There was an accident, and Trin was with me when I got a call to come pick her up from the hospital?”
“What kind of accident?”
As I give her particulars, Becca’s eyes get rounder and rounder. “That was them?” she asks in a strained voice. “I saw that on the news this morning.” Her eyes fly towards the glass door to watch Trin pushing both Rose and Seth on a swing out back. “Rose was really in that car? They showed it on TV, and… she’s really okay?”
“She’s fine, but Leah got banged up pretty bad. She lost that baby too, and she’s going to be in the hospital for a while.”
“Oh, my god.”
“I don’t know what the hell to s
ay to Rose about all of it. I was afraid she’d be traumatized or something, but she’s…” I pause to fling my hand out in the direction of the glass door. “She seems okay, doesn’t she?”
Becca nods quickly. “Well, she’s made a new friend to take her mind off things.” Letting out a small, tinkling laugh, she starts arranging cups on a rectangular serving tray. “She’s different than I thought.”
“Trin?”
“She looks normal.”
I laugh. “Did you expect her to come dressed in red leather?”
“Honestly, I didn’t know what to expect. It looks like she left the devil horns at home too.”
“That’s just an act, Becca. She’s not really like that.”
Becca sighs as she begins to fill the mugs, a few with coffee, and the others with hot chocolate. “I know you’re right, and I’m trying to be open minded.”
“She’s not doing that stuff on her next album either.”
“Good. That’s good to hear.” Becca nods her head towards the tray. “Make yourself useful while I get lunch started. I’ll be out there in a minute.”
I go ahead and fix up Trin’s coffee the way I know she takes it, and carry all of it to the deck out back. Catching sight of me, Rose hops down from the seat and runs across the yard. Trin trails behind her. She throws me a small smile as she mounts the short set of steps leading up to the deck.
My sister was right. Without the veneer of professionally applied makeup, and glossy, big hair, Trin could be anyone, but I’m not sure I’d use a word like normal to describe her. Trin’s smile is incandescent. Her baby blue eyes are lit with the slanted afternoon sun. The wind catches her blond hair, swirling the strands around her hair like a tempest.
She plops down beside me, and I hand her the appropriate mug. “Just the way I like it,” she says after a tiny sip.
Rose takes a dainty sip of her hot chocolate. “This is just the way I like it too.”
I can’t help but laugh.
“This is nice,” Trin says, looking around the yard. “We should start looking for a place, something with a yard Rose can play in. Something that’s not hanging off the side of a stupid mountain.”
“I thought you liked your place?”
“It’s too big. It’s ridiculous.”
To anyone else this whole conversation would be ridiculous. We haven’t even been together for three months. “That’s up to you, Trin. It would be yours.”
She gives me a big eye roll. “Are you planning on moving out or something?”
I shake my head.
“I want something normal that we can all be happy with. I hate that house, and that deck out back makes me nervous with her. You know I don’t go in half those rooms. I didn’t even bother to decorate some of them. It’s stupid to have a place that big.” She sighs quietly down towards her coffee. “Maybe we can start looking. I doubt we’ll have time to find something before I have to head back to Nashville though.”
“What’s Nashville?” Rose wants to know.
Before either of us can answer, my oldest niece comes out to join us. Her face is contorted by a big, goofy grin as she settles herself on the adjacent wicker chair. “I can’t believe you’re at my house.”
“Trin, this is Lilly.”
“Nu uh. I remember you,” Trin says. “You were so tiny. You were littler than Rose the last time I saw you.”
“You know who I am?”
“Sure. It’s been a while, but-”
“I loved Sinful,” Lilly exclaims. “I know every word of every song.”
Trin gives a quiet, embarrassed laugh.
“My mom made me throw away the CD, but I still have all the songs on my ipod.” Lilly’s eyes flick over in my direction, and she gives an annoyed huff.
I hold up my hands. “Your secret’s safe with me.”
“You look so different.” Lilly’s voice is full of amazement.
Trin pats the top of her own head. “I had the horns surgically removed.”
Lilly lets out a loud laugh. “What’s Kane like? What’s he like in real life?”
Now Trin is the one laughing loud. She widens her eyes at me briefly, then turns her attention back to my niece. “He’s a talented singer and musician.”
“Are you still really friends?”
Trin shrugs. “Sure I guess. I mean, I don’t have anything against the guy.”
“Do you two hang out?”
Giggling, Trin shakes her head vigorously. “No. He’s busy recording his own album, and doing whatever else he does.”
“It was so sad when you broke up.”
“I guess it all turned out okay though, because now I have your Uncle Gabe, right?”
“I guess,” Lilly says with a dejected sigh.
“Lilly, you sure know how to make a guy feel like chopped liver,” I say, laughing.
“You know what I mean. You’re fine for an uncle, but this is Kane Burke we’re talking about.”
“What are we talking about?” Becca asks, coming outside to join us.
“Nothing,” Lilly says, in an annoyed inflection.
“I’m surprised to see you out of your room,” My sister says to her teenage daughter. “It’s a rare treat that you grace us with your presence.”
Lilly narrows her eyes at Becca briefly, then she turns her attention back to Trin. “When is your next album coming out?”
“I’m not sure exactly. We haven’t recorded it yet.”
“Is Kane going to be on it?”
“Nope. I’m afraid I’m going to have to make due without him this time.”
“What’s it going to be called?”
“I think we’re going with Sinsation.”
Lilly taps her fingers together in anticipation. “Can you sing one of the new songs?”
“Sorry. I’m not really much for singing acapella.”
Becca leans forward to swipe up one of the mugs. “Sheesh, Lil. Leave her be. She didn’t come here to entertain you.”
“Please,” Lilly begs.
“I have some rough cuts I made with some friends of a few of the songs. Maybe you can come over and hear them sometimes, if your mom says it’s okay.” Trin takes a swig of her coffee. “They’re all very tame,” she assures Becca.
“What friends? Was one of them Kane?” Lilly asks eagerly.
Trin shakes her head.
“One was a teacher at your school,” I point out.
“Who?” Lilly demands.
“What’s Nolan’s last name?” I ask Trin.
“Redmond.”
“Mr. Redmond? I had him for homeroom last year.” Lilly’s nose scrunches up. “He’s so… old.”
“He’s not that old,” Trin says, laughing. “He’s a nice man, and he’s a very gifted musician and songwriter. I’ve known him for years.”
Lilly looks utterly perplexed by this.
“Why don’t you go see what your brothers and sisters are up to?” Becca says pointedly. “Your uncle didn’t bring his girlfriend over so you could give her the third degree.”
Rose rubs a hand over her mouth, wiping away her hot chocolate moustache. “You’re my daddy’s girlfriend?”
“Uh, I guess I am,” Trin says.
“Are you getting married?” Rose asks.
“Maybe one day,” I say, sharing a small smile with Trin.
Rose starts to bounce up and down. “Can I be your flower girl too?”
“Oh, my god.” Lilly lets out a short squeal. “Trin Sinclair is going to be my aunt! Do you think Kane will come to the wedding?”
Chapter 31
Trin
“Sorry about my niece,” Gabe says, backing out of his sister’s driveway. “I should’ve warned you about that.”
“It’s no big deal.” I pause to pull my seatbelt on. “I don’t think I’ve ever met a more devoted Kane Burke fan before.”
“If he ever swings back by for a visit, maybe we’ll forget to mention it to Lilly. God knows how she’d act if
they were ever in the same room together.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever be laying eyes on him again anyways, which is just fine by me.” For a bit I considered Brent’s ideal of touring together, but ultimately it’s not worth the upheaval it might cause in my private life.
Becca seemed to warm up to me just fine after a bit. Maybe one day Gabe’s parents will be able to see past everything that happened too. I don’t want to give his family one more reason to hate me.
I broke us once, and I refuse to do it again.
After a short discussion, we decide to stop off for that door latch on the way home, but before we reach the hardware store, Rose drifts off in her car seat. “I can run in and get it,” I offer.
“I’ve got it. You don’t even have your disguise.” He gives a lock of my hair a gentle tug to emphasis the point. “She’ll probably be out for an hour or so, but I’ll be right back.”
“I love you, Gabe.” Those three words don’t feel like enough to express what I’m feeling. We say them to each other all the time now. This last day has been a rollercoaster, but it’s finally cemented a few things in my mind. We really are going to be together forever.
“I love you too,” he says.
“No, I really mean it. You’re my one and only.”
“I’m not worried about Kane, if that’s what you’re talking about. My niece may be infatuated with him, but I’ve heard enough to know better.”
“Good. You shouldn’t be worried. He’s an idiot.”
“You’re my one and only too, Trin.” He kisses me, a soft, sweet kiss that makes my chest ache. “You and Rose are my whole world.”
Gabe gets out of his Jeep, and quietly closes the door so as not to disturb his daughter. I twist around in my seat to check on Rose, who is snoring quietly. There are grass stains on the knees of her leggings, mud caked on her tiny pink sneakers. She’s just like Gabe described, playful, rambunctious, and full of energy. I know I just met her, but it feels like I’ve known her a long time, since Gabe has told me so much about her.
Leaving both of them when I have to return to Nashville is going to be hard, but I’ll be back and forth. Maybe Gabe can take some time off, and they can visit. Somehow we’ll make it work.