by Renee Fowler
“Do you have hobbies? Or a boyfriend? Hell, are you married? You don’t wear a ring, but some people don’t.”
Mia giggles. “I don’t have time for any of that.”
“Maybe we should get someone else to help you.”
“No, I can handle it,” she says quickly. “But all the travel here and there. It kind of makes it impossible to have a real life.”
I try to ignore the flicker of unease at the pit of my stomach. Mia is a year younger than me, but maybe she’s already figured something out that I’ve been fearing, maintaining a normal life for some people is impossible.
“I know I was a pain in the ass before Mia, but things are going to be different this time. You don’t have to babysit me like before, and you shouldn’t be pulling double duty, looking after Kane too. He can get his own assistant.”
“I don’t mind helping Kane,” she says fast, a faint blush creeping over her face.
It takes everything in me not to roll my eyes or make a face. Even Mia is taken in by that idiot.
It’s not Brent, or his wife Sue that greets me at the door of their sprawling estate that evening, but a petite, middle aged woman in a pale blue uniform dress. She leads me through to a room I’ve been in before, one that has been redecorated in some sterile and modern abstract motif since I visited last.
Brent ambles up from his perch on an uncomfortable looking black sofa to come give me a brief hug. He holds me back by the shoulders, and his eyes travel down my body. “I thought I told Mia to get you dolled up a bit.”
“I don’t need Mia to dress me, and I thought this was supposed to be an informal get together. Where’s Sue?”
“She’s in Charlotte with her mom.”
“Is she still not better?”
“I’m sure she’s fine, but she’s older. She’s in her eighties, so fine is a relative term.” Brent tries to fluff my hair up a bit. He tugs the hem of my shirt down to the collar dips down beneath the top swell of my breasts.
“Did you invite the suits here?” I ask, not even bothering to hide my displeasure or annoyance. “You promised no more surprise meetings with those guys.”
“I did promise you that, and I’m a man of my word. You’re about to meet Ashton Myers.”
“Who?”
“He’s taking Conner’s spot.”
“I thought we were going with that other guy.”
“Ashton has a better look.”
My eyes narrow to slits up at him. “I told you no more fake relationships. Not with Kane or anyone else. I’m done with that crap.”
“Absolutely, but what would it hurt to meet the guy? You never know what might happen. Sparks may fly.”
“Brent, I have a boyfriend. A real boyfriend.”
“You do?”
“Yes! I told you that.”
“Are you still with that backwater hick cop? I figured that little fling would’ve fizzled out by now.”
I open my mouth, about to ask how he knows about that, then I remember the pictures he bought to keep out of the wrong hands. “He’s not a backwater anything, Brent. We’re in love, and I’m not interested in sitting through some stupid dinner with this guy. If I knew you were trying to play matchmaker again, I would’ve never bothered showing up.”
Brent lets out a tired sigh. “Trin, what has gotten into you?”
“I’m tired of all this fake bullshit!” I tug the collar of my shirt back up and glare at him. “This whole thing feels like you’re pimping me out or something. It’s gross.”
He scoffs. “We’re just having a friendly sit down to welcome Ashton to the band.” Brent tugs my shirt back down. “But the market research is very clear. You’re much more relatable paired up, especially with the thirteen to eighteen female demographic.”
“I’m leaving.”
“Hold on. Wait a second.” Brent’s palms close down around my shoulders. “You’re right. This is uncalled for. I had no idea you were actually in love.” He breathes out a quiet, tired sigh. “But Ashton is going to be here any minute, and I’d hate to make him feel unwelcome. Remember how it was when you first got in town? Maybe you can take him under your wing?” Brent tilts his head to the side at a sudden sound. His thin lips form a wide smile. “I think that’s him now.”
My first impression of Ashton is he’s as cocky as Kane with looks to match. He’s sort of like a Kane clone, with a slightly darker complexion, and large soulful eyes. Something about his hair jumps out at me. For starters, it’s fucking ridiculous, way longer on top than the sides, hanging over one eye, and intentionally messy. I guess he’s going for that ‘I just survived a tornado and lived to tell the tale look.’
But it sparks a memory. Now I recall the guy outside the gas station, and the grocery store. I saw him outside the hardware store getting into that black van too. Dylan… something. We called him boyband for his dumb ass haircut. I took his place in The Redmond Collective when Conner tossed his ass out for general douchebaggery.
Sometimes I think those handful of years I abused opiates and benzos really did fuck up my brain permanently. I should’ve remembered Dylan. No wonder he gave me such a dirty look, not that I had a thing to do with that decision to get rid of him. I was nobody back then. Conner and Nolan called all the shots.
In the midst of my Aha! lightbulb moment, I pause with wide eyes and a gaped mouth. Ashton gives me this slow, smouldering smile. Maybe he thinks I’m so overcome lust, I’ve been struck speechless.
I recover quickly. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Ashton. I saw your demo. You’re very talented.” Not as talented as the guy that got passed over, the one that didn’t have the right look, but if Ashton is standing here in front of me that means he must be able to play keyboard at least halfway decent, which is good enough for Brent I suppose.
I wonder how quickly I can make an excuse to get out of here? Thirty minutes? I am going to be stuck out on the road with this guy. No sense getting off on the wrong foot. I have to at least go through the pleasantries.
After a bit more chit chat, we settle down to eat.
“I don’t drink,” I remind Brent as he pours me a glass of wine.
“Still?” he asks incredulously.
My eyes flick between him and Ashton. I don’t necessarily want to make this new guy uncomfortable, but I’m not all that concerned with impressing him either. In fact, I kind of don’t give a shit what he thinks of me. “I’m an alcoholic, Brent,” I say, fixing my manager with a sharp stare. “I’m also an addict, remember? So if you could avoid pushing alcohol, or any type of pills in my direction, that would be swell.”
Brent scoffs.
I reach past the wine glass for the goblet of water, and casually ask Ashton about his musical background. Maybe later I’ll be able to laugh with Gabe over the phone about this ridiculous scenario, but right now I’m furious. “Classically trained, huh? You could probably teach me a thing or two. I’ve been showing my boyfriend’s daughter a bit, but I’m not much of a teacher. She’s not quite four though, so it’s mostly just for fun.”
“That’s about when I started.”
“Maybe eventually she could take lessons, but I’d hate to push her into anything. I sure as hell wouldn’t want her following in my footsteps.” As I laugh, I can feel Brent’s eyes boring into me.
I proceed to ask Ashton where he’s from, what his family is like, idle chit chat. He seems nice enough, a little unnerved. I’m not sure what Brent told him was going to happen here tonight, but it probably wasn’t this.
Shortly after the first course, I make an excuse to leave, and stand to go. “It was nice meeting you, Ashton. I look forward to working together.”
Brent catches up to me near the door before I escape. “We need to talk.”
“You’re right. We do.” I don’t bother to mask my anger, but I do manage to keep my voice low. “If you keep this shit up, I’ll be happy to hand you three million dollars right now, and we can both go our separate ways.” Both of
us standing there know that even if Sinsation is an abysmal failure like Imperfect, he’ll still be walking away with more than that. “My sobriety and my private life are too important to me to tolerate these games.”
“Games? This is your career, doll.”
“Stop calling me doll! I’m not your fucking doll. This isn’t my career we’re talking about. It’s my life. I’m not kidding, Brent.” I suck in a huge breath, let it back out slowly as I try to calm down. “Look, I like you. We’ve been together a long time. I want to work with you, so work with me. I want Sinsation to be a success too, but I want to do it the right way.”
Brent is staring at me like I have two heads. When I first met him, I was too naive and scared to stand up for myself, plus I had Conner there to do all the talking. The last few years I’ve been either too messed up, or focusing all my efforts on managing my habits to do much of anything except what I was told.
“Okay,” Brent says after a lengthy pause. He pulls me into a tight hug. “This is a brand new album, and a brand new Trin.” He gives my back an affectionate pat. “But you’re still my doll, whether you like it or not.”
I laugh against his shoulder. “Even if I wasn’t one half of a happy couple, how could you ever try and set me up with a guy who wears his hair like that.”
“It actually tested really well.”
“I guess I’m getting old. I must not be part of that demographic anymore.”
“You’re growing up.” Brent leans back to smile down at me. “You and this boy are really hitting it off, huh?”
I nod enthusiastically.
“Good. I’m happy for you, Trin. I really am, but I better get back to Mr. Hair. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
Chapter 33
Trin
“Oh, you’re already awake,” Mia said, skidding to stop as she catches sight of me hunched over the counter.
“I told you I didn’t need a ride. How do you take your coffee?”
Mia’s mouth hangs open for a moment. “Just a splash of cream please. Do you need me to go lay out some clothes…”
“I’m just wearing this,” I say, glancing down at my leggings and slouchy sweater. “No one’s going to see me except the sound people, and the guys in the band. Hey we kind of match, huh?”
Mia nods weakly.
“I can really drive myself tomorrow. You shouldn’t have to hang around all day getting me coffee anyways. It’s silly.”
Mia takes the insulated travel mug from my hand, and frowns down at it. “Are you getting rid of me?”
“Huh?”
“Are you trying to phase me out? Are you looking for a new assistant?”
“No, of course not.” I snap the lid on my own cup. “I’m just trying to be… better. I was such a bitch to you before.”
She shakes her head.
“Yeah, I was. I whined about everything. I was awful. Things really are going to be different now. I’m sorry I was such a bitch to you before, Mia.”
“You weren’t, and you don’t have to apologize.”
“Yeah, I do. I should’ve already. You always take care of me. You’re perfect.” I’ve spent months now trying to make up for how shitty I used to be to everyone, but somehow Mia slipped my mind. She’s always been there, quietly taking my crap. “There’s no way in hell I would get rid of you.”
Mia gives me a shy smile.
“You ready to get out of here? I don’t want to be late.”
Brent isn’t there waiting at the studio like I expected, but everyone else is, including Kane. “What are you doing here?”
He shrugs and rubs his eyes. “Coffee,” he mutters rudely to Mia.
“Can you be a little bit nicer to her?” I hiss.
“Coffee please?”
“Better. Now tell me, why are you here?”
“I’m just doing what I’m told, Trin.”
I stare towards the ceiling, trying to swallow back my rage. “Did you know about this?” I ask Mia when she returns with Kane’s coffee.
She nods meekly.
In the past I would’ve yelled at her to get Brent on the line, perhaps expressed how this was all bullshit in a loud voice while I waited on her to put him on speaker phone.
The rest of the band is already busy. Per usual, the instruments are recorded first. Vocals get mixed in after the fact. “Can you give us a minute, Mia?”
She nods again, and shows herself out of the small lounge area. I curl up on the chair next to him. “Kane, I’m not sure what Brent told you, but I don’t want to do this.”
“Do what?”
“Sing on each other’s albums. Tour together. I already told him, quite clearly it wasn’t going to happen.”
Kane lets out a long, relieved breath. “Thank god. No offense, but I’m not really interested in being your opening act.”
“Exactly. You don’t need me. You want to do your own thing, so what the hell are you doing here?”
“Brent said-”
I hold my hand up. “You know what? We’re going to call him right now and tell him to fuck himself, okay? Both of us.”
Kane nods vigorously, and I take out my phone. My fingers are shaking when I hit his number on speed dial.
Of course he doesn’t answer. Any other time he would pick up on the first ring, but he already understood I don’t want to do this. He’ll probably dodge my calls for the rest of the day. I go ahead and leave Brent a harshly worded message and hang up.
In the past I would’ve just rolled with it. I’d be hung over, or already too pleasantly numb to put up much resistance. Of course he must’ve arranged all this before our little chat last night. “I’m about done with his shit,” I say to Kane. “If he keeps this up, I’m getting rid of him.”
“Yeah, I wish you’d told me what he was like.” Kane says, taking a small sip of coffee. “He’s so fucking pushy.”
I guess Kane got a pretty rude awakening shorty after he signed Brent on. I used to be the one who dealt with him mostly. “Don’t let him boss you around like I always did. He works for you, not the other way around. I’ve been letting him do it for years, so I guess he thinks it’s going to be business as usual.” I let out a long sigh, trying to blow off some of my frustration. “So how’ve you been?”
“Not bad.”
“You staying out of trouble?”
Kane gives me a sly smile. “More or less. What about you?”
“I’m almost ten months sober.”
“For real?”
“Yeah, for real.”
“Damn. Well, I’ve slowed down anyways. What else have you been up to besides pretending to be an angel.”
“Hey, it’s not all pretend.” I give him my most angelic grin, and my hand unconsciously rubs that tender spot hidden beneath my hair, near the back of my neck. “I have a boyfriend now. A real boyfriend. He has a daughter, who really is a little angel, and we’re talking about getting a dog together, at some point. Oh, and I’m opening up a bakery, so if you’re ever in need of gourmet cupcakes, I’m your girl.”
“Shit, and I was gonna ask if you wanted to hang out for old times sake.”
“Well, I’m sure you can find someone else to hang out with.” I let out a loud laugh. “You never had too much trouble finding a girl to keep you company.”
Kane gives me a crooked smile. “It’s the one thing I excel at, and I’ll let you know about those cupcakes.” He stands to go, and I stand with him. We walk out towards the front together, and he pauses to give me a warm embrace. “You seem really happy, and I’m happy for you. Don’t be a stranger, Trin.”
“Take care of yourself, Kane.” There’s more I want to say. I know better than anyone how quick things can get out of hand, how that weekend good time can turn into a daily habit. Kane was usually better than me about riding that line, controlling his indulgences, but it’s easy to let it consume you when you’re around it all the time, especially when you work with someone like Brent.
∞∞∞
<
br /> At the sound of a knock on the door, Mia starts to move to answer it, but I jump up and get to it first. I let out a loud, excited squeal at the sight of Gabe holding Rose. These last five days have felt like an eternity. Rose reaches for me. I take her in my arms and give her a big squeeze, but she quickly wants to be let down so she can explore the unfamiliar surroundings.
I grab Gabe’s face and kiss him hard. He lifts me up a few inches off the ground, and I melt against him. He catches sight of Mia, and sets me back down gently.
I introduce the two. I’ve been going on to Mia all week about Gabe, so she already knows plenty about him. “This is Mia. The world's best assistant.”
Mia blushes and shakes Gabe’s hand demurely.
Rose asks if she can wear her glasses, and I quickly point out those are real glasses, but I have a few different pairs of fake ones she can play with.
“Do you need anything before I go?” Mia asks.
“Nope. I’ll see you on Monday.”
“I’ll email you if anything comes up, and I’ll have my phone on me if you need me.”
“I’ll make due,” I assure her. “Enjoy your weekend.”
She gives me a weak smile. No matter how many times I say it, I still think Mia is convinced I’m going to can her. I guess she got so used to me relying on her for every small, frivolous thing, she’s not sure what to make of me now.
“How was the flight?” I ask Gabe.
“Fine. Rose loved it.”
We’d both been a bit worried about that. Personally I hate flying. I used to tolerate it with a hefty dose of something to relax me, but I’m going to need to get used to the idea of doing it unmedicated at some point. When we start promoting this album, I won’t be able to avoid it.
I help Gabe carry their two small bags in, then I show them around. “I wish I could just pick this place up, and move it to Trenton.”
“Yeah, it’s nice.”
It really is nice. Spacious, but not ridiculously big. It’s cozy. It feels more like a home. “Why don’t we just buy some land and have something just like this built?”
“Trin, that’s up to you.”