Regan's Pride

by Diana Palmer

  “Damn, damn, damn!” echoed down the hall from the kitchen, along with a more pungent smell of smoke.

  “I’d better get in there while there’s some beef left in the freezer. I’ll send her to keep you company while I cook.”

  “I can cook,” she said hesitantly. “I used to do all the cooking at home, before I married.”

  He lifted an eyebrow. “Did you?” he asked indifferently. “I never noticed.”

  She averted her eyes. He couldn’t have made it more plain than that, but she’d known that he never paid attention to her while Barry was courting her. She watched him leave the room with sad, resigned eyes, mourning the woman she’d been. He hadn’t wanted her when she was whole. There was no chance that he’d want her now, in her damaged condition. And even if he did, she reminded herself, she had nothing left to give him.

  Chapter 4

  Coreen had only the one gown to wear, and none of her clothes. She wanted to remind them that she needed her things from the house she’d shared with Barry, but she was apprehensive about letting anyone go there to see the room she’d occupied. Fortunately, Ted’s housekeeper, Mrs. Bird, had a daughter about Coreen’s size who’d married and gone to live overseas. Mrs. Bird brought her an armload of pretty things on loan, and she told Sandy that she didn’t need anything else at the moment. Things were hectic for the first few days she was in residence, anyway. Sandy had to go to work and Ted had two mares in foal. He stayed out with his horses most of the time, while a grateful Coreen was left pretty much to herself in the daytime. She didn’t mind. Having Ted near her was disconcerting and made her nervous.

  She sat at the window in her room every day and watched him work the horses out in the corral. He was gentle with his horses, patient and kind. Coreen wished that she’d had such kindness from him.

  There was a particular horse that she favored, a Thoroughbred, which was coal black with a white blaze on his forehead and white stockings on all four feet. There had been a similar horse that Sandy always loaned her when they went riding. Not that this one could be the same horse. It was much younger than the horse Sandy had let her borrow. It might be a descendant, though.

  She knew that she shouldn’t be spying on Ted, but it gave her such pleasure to look at him. He was long and lean and he moved with the liquid grace of a cowboy. He could spin a lariat so expertly that no horse ever escaped his noose. He could ride bareback as easily as he could ride in a saddle. His temper was quick and hot, and she’d seen him lose it once with one of his men over some equipment. She’d moved away from the open window, shivering with reaction. Barry had always yelled when he was going to hit her. It was probably just as well that Ted didn’t want any part of her, she assured herself, because she was as intimidated by his temper as she was by his strength.

  All the same, she couldn’t keep away from the window. Her mind rolled back the terrible time in between, and she was a young woman again, in love with Ted and full of hope that he might care one day.

  It was inevitable that Ted would notice her blatant interest. The silent figure by the window was drawing attention, and not only from the recipient. Ted’s men had begun to rag him gently about Coreen’s “calf eyes” following him around wherever he went.

  Ted came by her room late on the day before Sandy was due back and paused in the doorway. “Do you want a tray in your room tonight, as usual?” he asked curtly.

  She was surprised by his hostility as much as by the question. She’d had her meals on trays ever since her arrival, which was perfectly fine with her; she couldn’t eat with Ted glaring across a table at her. She fumbled around for a reply.

  “Sandy won’t be back until tomorrow,” he reminded her. “And I have a date tonight. She’s an attorney from Victoria who’s having supper here.”

  She could tell that he’d hoped to shock her. He had. She couldn’t hide her reaction quickly enough to escape his pointed scrutiny. “I…wouldn’t want to intrude. A tray in my room is fine,” she said quickly.

  He stared at her with one narrowed eye, his face cold and hard. “You need something to do with your time while you’re here.”

  She didn’t know how to take this frontal assault. She just stared at him.

  “Something besides watching me out the window every time I move,” he added bluntly.

  She averted her face with a caught breath. “I was watching the horses, not you,” she said.

  “All the same, you’ll be happier with something to occupy you.” He didn’t add that so would he, but then, he didn’t have to.

  Her hands, unseen, clenched on her robe. He was putting the knife in already. She’d thought that her condition might win her just enough sympathy to keep his hostility at bay. She was wrong.

  “Yes,” she agreed without looking up. “I would…like something to do.”

  He studied her down-bent head with mingled feelings, the strongest of which was guilt. She’d driven her husband to drink and ultimately caused him to die, all because she wanted a man she couldn’t have and taunted her husband with him. Ted had felt the guilt like a knife in his gut ever since he’d heard about Barry’s death. Coreen’s presence was aggravating his self-contempt. She was a constant reminder of the pain his cousin had suffered.

  He’d deliberately invited Lillian over for supper, not because he really wanted to, but because it was important to make Coreen understand that he still wasn’t interested in her. He couldn’t bear having his unwanted houseguest stare at him longingly through the curtains. He couldn’t even avoid her while he worked, for God’s sake!

  “This isn’t going to work out,” he said aloud, his eyes narrow and cold.

  “You might not believe it, but I tried to tell Sandy that,” she said with a faint smile. She lifted her eyes. “I’ll start looking for a place the minute I can stand up without falling.”

  He shifted restlessly. “I’ll see if I can help you.”

  “Thank you,” she said with the dregs of her dignity. It had taken quite a bruising already. “And nothing expensive, please. I still have to find a job.”

  “There may be some way to break provisions in Barry’s will,” he said curtly. “I’ll check into it. Failing that, I’ll make sure that you have a living allowance, at least.”

  She started to express her thanks again, but she felt like a parrot. She just nodded.

  “I’ll send Mrs. Bird along to see what you want to eat.”

  “Whatever she’s cooking will be fine,” she replied with stilted courtesy. “I wouldn’t want to cause any more trouble than I already have.”

  He didn’t answer her. His eyes were still cold, accusing, when he turned and went down the hall. It wasn’t until he reached his own room that he remembered the devastation Coreen had faced in one week. Whether or not she loved Barry, she’d been widowed, injured, and she’d lost her home and her income. A man would have to be made of stone to feel no pity at all for such a victim of circumstances. He blamed her for too much, perhaps. She looked very fragile in that big, four-poster bed, and he didn’t like the way he felt after being so savage to her.

  But he put his guilt aside with his working clothes. He showered and changed into a neat pair of white slacks with a striped designer shirt, a linen sport coat and tie. Then, without seeing Coreen again, he drove to the Jacobsville airport to meet Lillian’s flight from Victoria.

  Coreen was getting more and more depressed. She could hear Ted and his houseguest all the way down the hall, laughing and talking, as if they were old and good friends. Probably they were.

  She didn’t know how she could bear much more of Ted’s reluctant hospitality. If Sandy had been here, it would have been different. She couldn’t expect her best friend to give up her job just to keep Coreen company. Sandy had to travel, which meant that Coreen would be stuck here often with just Ted and Mrs. Bird for company.

  Mrs. Bird had brought her a tray, grumbling about their dinner guest.

  “Wants her coffee weaker and her salad w
ith dressing on the side,” Mrs. Bird harrumphed, swinging her ample figure around as she placed the tray over Coreen’s lap. “Doesn’t care for beef, because it has cholesterol, and dessert is out of the question.”

  “She must be healthy,” Coreen remarked as she savored the smell of the cheese soup and freshly baked bread she’d been served.

  “Skinny as a rail. They say it’s going to be the new fad.” She eyed Coreen critically, seeing the hollows in her cheeks. “Nothing like cheese soup and bread to fatten up little skeletons.”

  “I haven’t had much appetite. But this is wonderful,” she said with honest enjoyment, and smiled.

  The housekeeper smiled back. “I made apple pie for dessert with apples I dried myself.”

  Coreen was impressed. “I love apple pie!”

  “So I was told, and with ice cream. You’ll get that, too.” She grinned at Coreen and went back toward the door. “Just set that by the bed and I’ll get it later, after they’ve gone. On their way to a play at the civic center, they said, then he has to take her back to the airport to catch a late flight.”

  “Is she nice?” Coreen asked curiously.

  The older woman hesitated, her gray hair stringy from long hours in the kitchen.

  “Well, I suppose she is, in her own way. She’s stylish and real smart, and she and Ted have known each other for a long time. Expected them to get married once, she was that crazy about him. But Ted doesn’t want to get married. Broke her heart. They’re friends still, but don’t you think she wouldn’t jump at the chance to marry him.”

  “I guess he can be nice when he likes,” Coreen said without committing herself. She started eating her soup.

  “Nice to some,” Mrs. Bird said, faintly puzzled. “Well, I’ll leave you to it.”

  “Thank you.”

  “No trouble. It’s a pleasure to see people enjoy their food.”

  Coreen finished her lonely meal and put the tray aside. She wished she had something to read, but there wasn’t even a magazine, much less television or a radio. She felt cut off from the world in the pretty antique bedroom.

  The laughter from the other room grated on her nerves. She tried to imagine Ted laughing with her, wanting her company, enjoying conversation like that. He only ever seemed to scowl when he was with her. Lillian must be special to him. She didn’t want to be jealous. She had no right. He laughed again, and Coreen felt the hot sting of tears.

  Her blurred vision cleared on the face of the clock. It was only seven o’clock. She hoped that she could go to sleep, to block out the sound of Ted’s pleasure in the other woman. She turned off her light and closed her eyes with bitter resignation. Incredibly she slept the night through.

  The next day, she didn’t watch out the window while Ted worked his horses. She put on a pair of too-large jeans and an equally large T-shirt with a Texas logo on it and curled up in a chair to read the paper she’d begged from Mrs. Bird.

  The news was depressing. She glanced at the comics page, and finally settled on the word puzzle. It kept her mind busy, so that she wouldn’t remember that Ted wanted her out of his house. She was still too wobbly and sore to do much. An employer was going to expect more than she was capable of giving just yet. She hoped Sandy would come home today. Her friend would help her escape from this prison Ted had made for her. He hadn’t told her to stay in her room, but he’d made it very obvious that he didn’t want her around him.

  It was after lunch when she heard a car drive up. Minutes later, a smiling Sandy came into the room and fell onto the bed in an exaggerated pose.

  “I’m tired!” she groaned, smiling at Coreen. “I thought I’d never get that new computer system put together for our client. But I did. Now I can take a day off and spend some time with you. How’s it been going?”

  “Just fine,” Coreen said blithely. “Could you help me find an apartment?”

  Sandy’s expression was comical. “I gather that Ted’s been at it again?” she muttered.

  “We’ve had this discussion before,” Coreen said quietly. “You know how he feels about me, about having me here. He’s accused me of leering at him again, and maybe I have. God help me, I can’t seem to stop…” She bit her lip. “Only, it isn’t leering and it isn’t lust. You can’t know how it was with Barry,” she added, her eyes wide and tragic. “If you did, you’d realize how incredible it is that I can even look at a man without shuddering!”

  Sandy sat up, brushing her hair out of her eyes. “Maybe if you talked to Ted…”

  “Why?” Coreen asked solemnly. “He doesn’t want to know anything about my marriage, or about me. He’s made it very clear that I’m here on sufferance and that he isn’t interested in me.”

  “Mrs. Bird mentioned that Lillian came to supper last night,” the other woman murmured. “Did you get to meet her?”

  Coreen shook her head.

  Sandy sighed angrily. “He can’t help the way he is. I’m sorry, Corrie. I’m very sorry that I finagled you into this corner. I had hoped…well, that’s not important now. Do you want out?”

  “Yes, please” came the immediate reply.

  “Okay. We can both move up to Victoria, into my old apartment. I never have gotten around to leasing it, so it’s still empty. It’s plenty big enough for both of us, and you won’t have my brother to contend with.”

  “But your job…”

  “I work at our branch office in Victoria as well as the headquarter office in Houston,” Sandy reminded her.

  “I don’t want to impose,” Coreen said firmly.

  “You’re my best friend. How could you impose?”

  “I’ll need my things from the house,” she said hesitantly. “I hate to ask, but could you…?”

  “Of course I can go get them for you.”

  “Henry has a key. He’s still living in the chauffeur’s quarters, I’m sure, because Tina will need him to take care of the place until she moves in. My clothes will be in the closet, in the second bedroom on the right upstairs. There isn’t much in the drawers, and I’d already packed up my own books and tapes, and the few things Mother gave me.”

  “I’ll run down there this afternoon, if you like.”

  “Thank you, Sandy.”

  “What are friends for? Now you stop worrying! By next week, we’ll be in Victoria and all these bad memories will be just that.”

  Sandy went to get them some coffee and cake, which they ate with relish. Ted came in just after Sandy had gone to change her clothes and get some suitcases to pack Coreen’s dresses in.

  Coreen was still sitting in the armchair by the window. She flushed when he looked at her. “I was talking to Sandy, not leering at you out the window,” she said with faint defensiveness.

  His pale eyes narrowed. “It’s a hell of a pity you didn’t spend some of that misplaced longing on poor Barry,” he said mockingly.

  Her features grew very still. “He had women,” she said.

  “No wonder, if he had a wife who wouldn’t let him touch her,” he returned. His face held such distaste that she squirmed in her chair. “You tormented him and then you let him get in a car when he’d been drinking,” he said curtly. “I won’t ever forget, or forgive, that. You ended up with nothing and that’s all you deserved. My God, the very sight of you sickens me!” he added roughly, and the contempt in his eyes hurt her for an instant before he turned away and continued on down the hall.

  She didn’t move until he was out of sight. The pain went even too deep for tears. She thought of how it was going to be for another week, before she and Sandy left for Victoria, knowing exactly how Ted felt about her, what he thought, and having to face his scorn day after endless day. She couldn’t take it. She couldn’t take any more. She was going to have to get away now.

  If she waited until Sandy left to pick up her clothes, Ted would probably leave shortly thereafter. Then she could get a cab to the depot and a bus to Houston. She had just enough money for a flight. There was surely a YWCA in Houston, w
here she could stay. Even that would be infinitely better than here, with Ted tormenting her in reprisal for his cousin’s death. If she’d been stronger, she’d have fought him tooth and nail. But she hadn’t the heart for any more fighting right now. She only hoped she had enough strength to get out of here.

  Sandy, unaware of Ted’s visit, popped her head in the door. “I’m going. Ted said that he’ll drive me over to your house. I’ll be back in a couple of hours. Bye!”

  Coreen had wanted to catch her eye and tell her she was leaving, but Sandy was already on her way out the front door. She heard her call something to Mrs. Bird. Two car doors slammed and an engine revved up.

  Thirty harrowing minutes later, she said a hesitant goodbye to Mrs. Bird, asking first if she could have the loan of the clothes she was wearing, with a pair of Sandy’s shoes, just until she could get her own.

  “But I thought Sandy and Ted were going over to the house to get your things,” Mrs. Bird said, puzzled.

  “I’m meeting them there,” Coreen lied glibly. “I just remembered some things I need that they won’t know about.”

  “But, dear, you’re just not in any shape to be trying to do something like this!”

  “I’m doing just fine,” Coreen assured her with a gentle smile. “Thank you so much for your kindness. I won’t ever forget you.”

  Mrs. Bird was frowning now. “You should wait. Let me call over at your house and make sure they’re there.”

  “It won’t matter, honestly, I’ll be fine.” She heard the horn and smiled her relief. “There’s the taxi I called. Now don’t worry, all right?”

  Mrs. Bird grimaced. “You’re so pale.”

  “I’m a trouper. I’ll be fine.” She clutched her purse closer. It was all she had left of her own right now, all her worldly possessions. “I’ll be in touch.”

  “You’re coming back, aren’t you?”

  “I may stay at the house,” she lied. “I’ll see what they think,” she added deliberately. “Okay?”

  Mrs. Bird relaxed. “Okay. Be careful, now.”