A Father for Jesse

by Roth, Ann

  Carefully standing out of his way, she opened the door wide. Mac wiped his feet, then crossed the threshold. The living room seemed even smaller now.

  “The bathroom’s down the hall,” she said, closing the door behind him. Recalling that she’d left makeup on the counter, she quickly added, “It’s a little messy in there, so if you’ll wait just a minute I’ll run and straighten up.”

  “Don’t bother. I don’t need the bathroom.”

  “You want a glass of water then,” she guessed.

  Mac shook his head.

  “Okay, then exactly why are you here?”

  “I…”

  Studying the carpet and shifting his weight, he seemed ill at ease. Well, so was she. She crossed her arms.

  “Hell, I may as well just come out and say it. I acted like a jerk yesterday morning. I owe you an apology.”

  Emmy hadn’t expected this. Mac’s genuine regret snuffed out her anger. She uncrossed her arms. “That’s very sweet. Thank you.”

  A look of pure relief filled his face, at odds with his terse nod and failure to meet her eyes. The man was clearly uncomfortable. Because he’d apologized, or because she’d called him sweet?

  “That’s two apologies in as many days, one from each of us,” she said. “I guess we’re even now.”

  “I guess we are.”

  His lips flirted with a smile, then widened into a charming grin that crinkled his eyes. Warmth that transformed him from handsome to irresistible. Emmy’s heart felt pounds lighter.

  She meant to smile back. Instead, to her horror, fresh tears filled her eyes and a sob clogged her throat.

  Instantly Mac sobered. “You were crying this morning, too.” He looked confused. “Shi—Shoot. What else did I do wrong?”

  The man would think her tears were about him. “This has nothing at all to do with you,” she stated, swiping furiously at her cheeks. “And I’m not crying.”

  Now he looked panicky. “Yes, you are. Please don’t.”

  “I said I wasn’t. It’s allergies.” So that he’d stop scrutinizing her, Emmy pivoted away from him and blinked hard. “Are you sure you don’t want something to drink?” she asked, pleased that she sounded normal and not like a blubbering fool. “A glass of water or a cup of coffee? I made it this morning, but I’m happy to heat it in the microwave.”

  Why had she offered? She didn’t want Mac here, not when she felt so raw.

  “Coffee sounds good.”

  He followed her into the kitchen and sat down. The big man dwarfed the little table. He took one of the chairs she and Jess didn’t use, as if he somehow knew their places. Emmy pulled two mugs from the cabinet and filled them. While the microwave worked its magic, she set out milk and sugar. She carried the steaming coffees to the table, then sat down across from Mac.

  What to chat about that wouldn’t set off the tears? “It sure is cold today,” she said.

  “No rain, though. That’s a nice change.”

  “Yes, it is.”

  Emmy sipped coffee and searched her mind for another safe topic of conversation. “What a shame about Melinda’s uncle.”

  “Yeah. You never know, though, he may be okay.”

  “I hope so.” To her dismay, her eyes flooded again.

  Mac drew his brows together and studied his coffee for several long moments. “I’ll probably regret this, but maybe you should tell me what’s got you so upset.”

  She didn’t want to burden anyone with her troubles, let alone this man. But they tumbled out, anyway. “The move has been really hard. Jesse’s so unhappy, and we’re fighting more than ever.” She tried to smile without success. “You wouldn’t know it, but he used to be a really sweet little guy. Yesterday after he came back from visiting you and your brothers, he was my excited boy again. Well, almost. But it didn’t last. This morning was awful.” Afraid she’d break down, she smoothed her thumb over a nick in the tabletop. “I don’t know what to do.”

  “Now there’s a subject I’m an expert at,” Mac said in a soothing voice Emmy had never heard. “With boys Jesse’s age, mood changes come with the territory.”

  If anyone knew that, Mac did, and his words helped. Emmy continued. “It got worse when he started hanging around with those gang members. Jess doesn’t like it here. He wants to go back to Oakland. I keep telling him he’ll change his mind and grow to like Halo Island, but the truth is, I don’t know if he will. You’ve seen how stubborn he is.” She bit her lip. “What if he doesn’t make any friends? What if he always hates the island and his school?” She swallowed. “What if he finds a gang here?”

  “As far as I know, we don’t have any on the island,” Mac said. “Give Jesse time. He’ll come around.”

  Hadn’t she said more or less the same thing to herself? “I’ll try.”

  “That’s all you can do.” Mac sat back.

  A more comfortable silence followed.

  “Thanks for letting me talk about this,” she said. “It’s…I appreciate your listening.”

  “Sure thing.” His eyes were filled with understanding, probably because he knew exactly what she was going through. “Jesse needs a man’s guidance—a man who sticks around.”

  “Do men like that exist?” She managed a laugh. “Because I sure haven’t met one.” She’d certainly abandoned her hopes and dreams on that score.

  “You’re a beautiful woman. The right man will find you and your son.”

  Emmy didn’t believe him.

  “Trust me on that,” Mac said as if he’d read her thoughts. “What else is on your mind?”

  His compassion and willingness to listen coaxed her to share her deepest doubts. “Jesse’s had such a rough time. Sometimes…sometimes I wonder about my mothering skills,” she admitted in a voice so soft, she wasn’t sure he even heard it.

  Ashamed, she glanced at her hands, tightly wrapped around her mug even though the heat almost burned her skin.

  “Hey.” Mac reached across the table and clasped her wrist.

  Without knowing how it happened, she was on her feet, standing in the warm circle of his arms. Crying her heart out and absorbing his warmth while he rubbed her back and murmured softly. It had been such a long time since someone had held her like that. Mac’s chest was solid and broad, and he smelled of sawdust and man. His quiet strength comforted her, and after a while she pulled a tissue from her pocket and blew her nose.

  “I keep crying and wish I’d stop,” she said. “It’s embarrassing.”

  “Emmy, look at me.” Mac gently nudged up her chin until she met his eyes. “You’re a good mother, and Jess is a good kid. Moving is tough. Exhausting. You’re in a rough patch right now, that’s all.”

  “Do you really think so?”

  He nodded. “Things will get better. I promise.”

  He looked at her straight on, and she believed him. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

  “Anytime.”

  He didn’t release her and she didn’t pull away. Her palms slid to his chest, resting in the slight hollows beneath his shoulders. Tension, powerful and undefined, bloomed in the air, and everything shifted. Mac’s eyes darkened in awareness.

  Emmy’s nerves began to thrum. “Mac? What’s happening here?”

  “Then you feel it, too.” His thumb stroked her cheek. “This heat between us.”

  Unable to speak, captivated by the caress of his thumb and the pull of those blue eyes, she nodded.

  “What I’m feeling—it’s dangerous.”

  And impossible to fight. Wanting, needing his lips against hers, Emmy rose on her toes and looped her arms around his neck.

  “Emmy…” he warned, and started to untangle her arms.

  “Don’t. Just kiss me.”

  MAC GAZED into the eyes of the warm, vibrant woman in his arms. He hadn’t held a woman in so long. She smelled lemony and sweet, and the press of her soft curves against his body felt so damned good.

  He’d wanted this, wanted to kiss her since t
hey’d first met. Problem was, she was lonely and emotional and likely looking for more than he could give. Kissing her meant trouble he hadn’t the time for.

  Mustering control, he forced himself away from that tempting mouth. “This is not a good idea.”

  “I couldn’t agree more.”

  She stretched up and brushed her lips across his. Her eyes drifted shut. His body jumped to life, and he forgot that this was wrong, forgot everything but the willing woman in his arms.

  Groaning, he captured her mouth for more. Quickly deepened contact, coaxing her lips open and tangling his tongue with hers. He tasted coffee, salt from her tears and need, all of it fueling his hunger, which flared so fierce and raging his knees almost buckled.

  He wanted more, wanted to kiss her until she forgot her worries, forgot everything but him and the pleasure between them. Need surged through him to back her to the sofa, lay her down and bury himself in her feminine sweetness. Somewhere in the dim recesses of his brain, he remembered. Loving Emmy this way would only lead to complications he didn’t want and couldn’t afford.

  Apprehensive, he broke the kiss, let her go and stepped away, his breathing as labored as if he’d run up the Rutherfords’ steps with a load of cement. “This can’t happen. I’m leaving soon,” he said, though she already knew that. “I can’t get involved.”

  “I don’t want anything from you, Mac. I just…I needed to be held.”

  So she said, but the look on her face—desire and longing and tenderness—scared him spitless.

  At that moment he heard male laughter. It sounded very close. The living-room drapes were wide-open. Could anyone see into the kitchen? Mac hoped to God not. He swore.

  “My brothers are here,” he muttered an instant before they knocked.

  “Don’t worry, they’ll never know what just happened.” Emmy walked briskly toward the door, smoothing down her sweater and her hair. “Hello there,” she said, sounding like her usual, friendly self.

  Mac silently applauded her great acting.

  “We came to wash up and get Mac,” Ian said.

  “Please come in.”

  Mac didn’t care much for the way Ian and Brian scrutinized Emmy, whose lips were pink and kiss-swollen. Tensing, he narrowed his eyes in warning.

  When neither of them said a word, he relaxed. Smart guys, his kid brothers.

  They kidded around and made small talk with Emmy while they all washed up. Not about to stay here a second longer, Mac rinsed and dried his hands and headed for the door with a nod. “Thanks, and see you.”

  A CRYING JAG, melting kisses with Mac and now talking with Jesse’s new teacher made for an emotional roller coaster of a day. Yet by the time Emmy’s conference with Liza Hatcher ended, she felt more hopeful and positive than she had in a long time. Jesse’s pretty teacher was as nice as people claimed, a woman who clearly loved children. Colorful posters and students’ projects decorated her classroom, conveying both warmth and nurturing.

  On top of that, Emmy liked her as a person. They were about the same age, and she thought they might become friends. Especially after Liza invited her to the monthly Saturday-night bunco game at the Halo Island Community Center.

  “If you come, you’ll meet some of the terrific women who live on the island,” she said. “I’ll introduce you around.”

  Emmy thought that sounded like fun, but with no one to watch Jesse…“I’d love to, but I doubt I’ll make it this time. Once Jess makes friends and has a place to go for the evening, I’ll definitely be there.”

  “Great.” Liza smiled, pushed back her chair and rose.

  Emmy, who sat across the wonderfully cluttered desk, also stood. “Thank you for meeting with me today.”

  “I’m so glad we did, and I appreciate your candor. Jesse’s school files are full of information, but talking with you filled in the gaps. It’s good to know about his brush with gang life. I’ll do what I can to help him feel comfortable and welcome.”

  Emmy had no doubt of that. Like Mac, Liza had said there were no gangs on the island, which was a huge relief. “I appreciate that. Do his clothes bother you?” she asked as Liza walked her to the door.

  “Not at all. We don’t have a dress code. I’ve lived on the island most of my life, so if there’s anything you want to know, or if you need to check on Jesse’s progress, don’t hesitate to call me—even at home.”

  “Thanks. I will. He’s waiting for me in the library. How do I get there?”

  “Turn left at the end of the hall. Second door on the right. You can’t miss it.”

  Ten minutes later, with her son buckled into the passenger seat and inhaling the granola bar Emmy had brought him, she pulled out of the mostly deserted school parking lot. The winter sunset came early in the Pacific Northwest, and at four-thirty darkness had almost fallen. At least it wasn’t raining.

  “I like Mrs. Hatcher,” Emmy said. “She said good things about you. She thinks you’re very bright and that you’ll do well in her class.”

  “She said that?” Jesse looked pleased.

  “She did,” Emmy said, smiling.

  He was quiet for a moment, then nodded at the fog swirling around them. “Mrs. Hatcher says the fog sometimes makes a ring over the ocean that looks like a halo. That’s how the island got its name.”

  “I didn’t know that. Interesting.”

  This was their second easy conversation in two days. Emmy hoped Jesse’s good mood lasted. “I hung all the pictures today,” she said. “And right after you left this morning, Mrs. Rutherford called. Her uncle had a heart attack. He lives in another town, and she and Mr. Rutherford have gone to take care of him. They’ll be away at least a week. They gave me their house key. I’ll be letting Mac and his brothers in every day and locking up after they leave.”

  “Oh.”

  While Jess polished off the last of his granola bar and stared out the window, Emmy thought about Mac. Now that she’d kissed him, the idea of seeing him twice a day sent a rush of pleasure through her. She tried not to remember how she’d cried on him, then shamelessly begged him to kiss her, only concentrating on the lovely kisses that had followed. Her lips still tingled from his thorough and avid attention.

  Mac Struthers was good at more than remodeling houses. Did he make love with the same intensity? She wouldn’t mind finding out. She quickly squelched the thought. Mac was leaving soon. Besides, with Jess to worry about and her new job starting soon, she had no time for anything else. Kissing Mac again or taking things further was out of the question.

  She reached a four-way stop and braked. Hers was the only car. “For letting Mac in and out,” she went on as she drove through the intersection, “Mr. and Mrs. Rutherford are waiving our rent next month.”

  Jesse angled his head at her. “That’s good, right?”

  Emmy had never hidden their money troubles from him. “You bet it is. Now I can decorate the rest of the house before I start at the library. I thought I’d pick up the paint tomorrow morning and get moving.”

  “More painting. Ugh!” Jess wrinkled his nose. “It’s gonna stink.”

  “Only for a few days. And just think how much nicer the cottage will look.” Enjoying this time with her son and reluctant to go home just yet, she made a spur-of-the-moment decision. “Why don’t we stop for burgers tonight?”

  She’d save the casserole for tomorrow.

  Jesse licked his lips and rubbed his stomach. “Oh, boy.”

  Chapter Six

  Monday morning, six long days since Mac had kissed Emmy, he turned the van onto Beach Cove Way like a thirsty horse headed for water. After taking Sunday off he was eager to see her, even if only for a few minutes in the morning and late afternoon.

  He didn’t want to feel this way. That he did put him in a foul mood. Thinking about Emmy all the time was driving him nuts. Jaw clamped, he slowed to a crawl.

  He’d tried his damnedest to forget that he wanted her, had even taken out an old girlfriend, Dini Martin, Saturd
ay night. As attractive as Dini was, Mac barely lasted through dinner, wishing he was with Emmy, instead. Kissing her again and more. The blood in his veins simmered and his groin stirred. Like a randy teenage boy, he spent his days and nights hot and bothered. Not fun. And he’d only kissed her the one time. If that wasn’t a bad sign…

  Swearing, he rounded the curve and her cottage came into view. The living-room drapes were open and lights inside glowed welcomingly. Mac didn’t see Emmy, though. She started her new job today. Probably getting ready.

  Jesse was already gone—moments earlier the bus had rattled by—which meant his mother was all by her lonesome.

  Since Mac didn’t expect Brian and Ian for another half hour, he, too, was alone. He imagined walking through her door, pulling her close and doing all the things he fantasized about. Palming her breasts, teasing her nipples, making her moan with need. She’d push close, wrap her thighs around his waist, and he’d…

  A certain part of him rose to full attention, and he shifted uncomfortably. If his brothers ever found out about this…They wouldn’t. It was only a matter of willpower and time. Once he left town, this fire torturing him would die. For now he’d best cool off.

  The second he parked in front of the Rutherfords’, Emmy’s front door opened. She’d been watching for him, and he felt a surge of pleasure. Wearing a knee-length trench coat, heels and a pair of slacks, she hurried across the street.

  Forgetting that he needed to get hold of himself, Mac exited the van with a thundering heart. “Hey,” he said, meeting her at the porch steps.

  “Hi.” She sounded slightly winded, like she had the other day after those kisses.

  Up close Mac noted her makeup and her hair, pulled back into a fancy twist. He liked what he saw. He also liked her without lipstick and her hair down. Man, he was in trouble.

  “You look pretty for your first day at the library,” he said as they started up the steps.

  “Thanks.” She patted her ’do as if checking to make sure it was okay. “I’m a little nervous.”

  “I’m sure you’ll be fine. I saw the school bus leave.”