A Father for Jesse

by Roth, Ann

“I’ve never come that way before,” she said, covering her breasts with her arms. “Not with a man.”

  Not with a—Whoa. “You’re saying you like women?”

  “No.” She blushed. “What I mean is, um, from time to time, I use a vibrator.”

  An activity Mac wouldn’t mind watching. And he had to know. “How long since you’ve been with a man?”

  “A very long time. Since Chas left.”

  That explained plenty. That she’d chosen Mac after all this time meant a lot. He touched her cheek. “It’s been a while for me, too.”

  Pleasuring Emmy for the next few weeks was going to be great.

  Shielding her breasts with one arm, she slid her palm down his belly, straight to his erection.

  Sweet heaven. Mac gritted his teeth. “Don’t.” Catching hold of her wrist, he lifted her hand. “Or I’ll embarrass myself.”

  “But that’s not fair to you.” She stared pointedly at his strained fly. “You need release, too.”

  “Another time. We’ve been here a long while. Jesse’s probably through showering. You’d best go.” He retrieved her bra and sweater and handed them to her. She turned away to dress. Mac tugged on his T-shirt.

  “When are we going to be together the way we want—naked and in bed?” he asked.

  Clothed now, she faced him and finger-combed her hair. “I don’t know. Soon, I hope. We need a place to go where we can be alone for more than thirty minutes.”

  Mac was with her there. “How about one of these empty bedrooms?”

  “In the Rutherfords’ house?” She looked horrified. “I’d never be able to look them in the face again.”

  “We sure can’t use your cottage, not with Jesse around.” Mac brushed her hair off her face and anchored it behind her ears.

  She closed her eyes. Her lips parted. With a soft sigh she leaned into his palm, and he knew that if he wanted to, he could fire her up again. Though he burned with need to take her here and now, she was right. This wasn’t the place. When he and Emmy made love, they’d do it in a bed, taking their sweet time. He dropped his hand and she opened her eyes.

  “I wish I could come to your house,” she said. “But I don’t feel right leaving Jess alone yet. Besides, where would I tell him I was going?”

  “Good point.” At a loss, Mac scratched the back of his neck.

  “What about the van?” Emmy asked.

  As badly as he wanted her, he wasn’t about to make love to her there. He shook his head. “You deserve better than that.”

  “Where doesn’t matter. As long as we’re together.”

  Her honesty and need were as potent as a touch. Mac groaned. “This is worse than being a teenager.” He helped Emmy into her coat. “All hot and bothered with no place to go.”

  “We’ll figure it out.” She fastened the top button. “Do I look all right?”

  With her lips kiss-swollen, her cheeks pink and her eyes dark and luminous, she looked amazing. But she was worried about her son. “You’re fine,” Mac said. “Jesse won’t know what we’ve been doing.”

  She nodded and they stepped through the door and onto the porch. Emmy locked the dead bolt. After shooting Mac a quick smile, she hurried down the steps. He stayed put until she ducked into her house. Then aching but oddly satisfied, he headed for the van.

  FRIDAY AFTERNOON Emmy sat at her desk, logging in this week’s new library books. Normally she enjoyed flipping through them and deciding which ones she wanted to read. Today she was too distracted. For the past two weeks, while Jesse showered before bed, she’d met Mac at the Rutherfords’ for passionate kisses and hurried caresses.

  Emmy lived for those stolen moments together, her desire for Mac—and her feelings—growing with each embrace. Her body hummed and ached for his attention, and his skilled hands and mouth showed her glimpses of heaven. But no matter how sweet Mac’s touch was, she craved more. If they didn’t find a place to make love soon, she just might pop out of her skin.

  While she printed out a book label with the library’s bar code, she let out a sigh of longing, just as Sally passed by.

  The woman stopped and glanced curiously at Emmy. “My, that sounded weighty.”

  “Guess I was daydreaming,” Emmy said.

  “Not in a good way, though. Do you want to talk about it?”

  At her encouraging smile, Emmy considered sharing her problems. She could do with some motherly advice. But what would she say? That each day she loved Mac a little more? That she dreamed of him as a permanent part of her life, even though that wasn’t possible, that when he left it was going to hurt, but that right now, she was too involved, too needy, to care? Not about to admit her weaknesses to Sally—she’d sound like an utter fool—Emmy smoothed the bar-code label over the book’s spine.

  “I’m fine, really,” she said. “A little sleep-deprived, that’s all.” Wound up from Mac’s kisses and touches and frustrated and aching for more, she slept restlessly, waking often. She was sick to death of sneaking around. Like teenagers, Mac said. Would they ever spend a night together and make love? “I’m sure I’ll catch up this weekend.” With the help of one of those p.m. pain relievers that make you drowsy.

  “TGIF, huh?”

  “Something like that.”

  “It’s been a darned good week, though, hasn’t it? Your after-school program is off to a great start.”

  True, and something to be grateful for. Emmy smiled. “I’m pleased.”

  Patty, whose shift had started a short while earlier, joined Sally in front of Emmy’s desk. “You should be. The children will love what you lined up for today. Ian and Brian Struthers. I wish I could participate. Unfortunately someone has to stay out here and work.” She glanced at Sally and smiled. “And since you’re going home soon…”

  “Dinner date with my husband,” Sally said. “Or I’d stay late. I am planning to peek in, though. The men discussing remodeling and construction, then sharing some of their portable tools—what a treat for the kids.”

  Earlier in the week, between fevered kisses, Emmy had convinced Mac that he could spare Brian and Ian for one afternoon. She glanced at the round wall clock. “It’s after three. Brian and Ian should be here any minute.”

  As if her words had summoned them, the brothers pushed through the door with a toolbox, a bag of safety glasses and a large canvas tarp. Emmy hurried to meet them.

  “Hey, Emmy.” Ian grinned.

  “Where do you want this stuff?” Brian asked.

  “Follow me.” She led them into the meeting room, where she hosted the after-school program.

  “Nice space.” Ian set down his load.

  Brian followed suit. “When we were kids and came to the library, we never had a room to ourselves. We were always getting shushed for not keeping our voices down.”

  “Not in here,” Emmy said. “Once we shut the door, the kids are free to make as much noise as they want.”

  Ian stroked his goatee and eyed the rectangular tables and folding chairs. “Be a shame to ruin this nice blue carpet. Let’s lay down the tarp. Then we’ll bring in the rest of our tools.”

  As always he was careful of not making a mess. Just like Mac. Emmy smiled. “Great idea.”

  They dragged the chairs and tables out of the way, Ian and Brian teasing each other.

  “You’re lucky we’re here.” Ian unfolded the tarp. “We hit a few snafus this morning and got a little behind. Mac was a real pri—Bear.”

  “Yeah, but he’s been that way for weeks now.”

  “You’re so right, bro, but it was worse today.”

  Brian’s mouth quirked as he helped Ian spread out the canvas. “I think he’s jealous that he wasn’t invited this afternoon.”

  The brothers lifted the tables and repositioned them atop the tarp, then helped Emmy arrange the folding chairs.

  “He said he couldn’t spare the time,” she said.

  “I know, but I think he changed his mind,” Brian said. “Better he stayed behind th
an us, since he’s the only Struthers man who enjoys the work.”

  Ian shot his twin a dirty look and shoved two chairs under a table. “What’re you doing, sharing our private stuff?”

  “Emmy knows. I told her weeks ago. She promised not to say anything to Mac. Right, Emmy?”

  Both men looked at her.

  She nodded and with her finger drew a cross over her heart. And felt a pang of guilt. Mac ought to be told that his brothers wanted their own, different careers. “If it were me, I’d explain it to him,” she said. “But a promise is a promise and, anyway, it’s not my place.”

  “You like him a lot, don’t you?” Ian said.

  Emmy’s cheeks warmed and she knew she was blushing. She ducked her head to position a chair.

  “She does!” Brian chuckled. “He likes you, too.”

  Emmy wondered at his cagey look. Had he guessed about them? Of course not. They were too careful.

  Suddenly the door opened, saving her from more teasing.

  Sally stuck her head in. “The school bus just pulled onto our street.”

  Emmy nodded. “Thanks. That gives us about three minutes.”

  “Whoa,” Brian said. “We’d best grab the rest of our tools from the truck.”

  The two men strode out and Emmy sagged with relief. They made her nervous with their talk about her and Mac caring for each other. Mainly because it was true. And because she worried that Jesse might find out. In the end, her son would only get hurt, and he’d suffered enough.

  MORE THAN A DOZEN kids from grade and middle school poured into the meeting room, Jesse and Peter among the last. While Emmy greeted every child, she sneaked a glimpse at Jess. His face was far too sober—he still rarely smiled—but solemn was better than sullen defiance. For that she was grateful. Nearly two weeks had passed since his attitude had done a U-turn, and she no longer cared why. She suspected that Peter, whose sunny disposition and warm smile brightened every room, was partly responsible. Undoubtedly influenced by his friend’s attitude, Jesse no longer complained about school or dragged his feet over coming to the library every afternoon. He’d also stopped whining about moving back to Oakland.

  Emmy knew that moving here was her smartest decision ever. Even if she ended up with a broken heart later. But she wouldn’t worry about Mac or the future now.

  She greeted Jesse and Peter with a smile. “Hey, you two.”

  Peter beamed. “Hi, Ms. Logan.”

  “How was school?” she asked Jesse.

  “Okay. Where are Ian and Brian?”

  “Getting their gear from the truck. While we’re waiting, go ahead and find seats.” She raised her voice to include all the children. “If you brought a snack, hurry and eat, because once Brian and Ian start their program, you’ll want to give them your full attention.”

  A few minutes later the men shouldered through the door, biceps bulging as they each hefted several portable tools. Emmy moved to the back of the room and closed the door behind them. As she followed them forward, all eyes fixed on the handsome twins.

  They saw Jesse and greeted him warmly. Emmy’s son sat up straight and at last grinned, a beaming show of teeth that warmed the afternoon like the summer sun and brought out her own appreciative smile.

  After the twins laid out their tools on the floor, Emmy introduced them. “Today we have a real treat. Brian and Ian Struthers will tell us about construction and teach us how to handle some of the tools they use every day. Let’s welcome them.”

  Enthusiastic applause and a few boyish yahoos—the girls were quieter—filled the air. The door opened and Sally stepped into the room. Staying at the back of the room, she waved at the men.

  Ian began. “I’m Ian, and that’s my twin brother, Brian. Like Emmy—Ms. Logan—said, we’re in the construction business. Actually the work we do is called renovation or remodeling. That means we tear down the old and build a newer version. We work on houses, but some people remodel commercial buildings. Before we go on, you should know that Brian and I are in this library all the time.”

  “But you’re grown-ups,” said Creighton, a pimple-faced, preteen boy, his voice cracking.

  “That we are,” Brian said. “Libraries are for everyone, not just kids.”

  “When we were kids, though, we spent every afternoon in here, doing our homework and enjoying the after-school programs.” Ian gestured at everyone. “Just like you.”

  Every child looked delighted. Emmy bit back a smile. Ian and Brian were naturals with kids.

  “We brought some of our tools,” Brian said. “We’re about to show you how they work and teach you how to operate them. But first, who has questions?” Several hands shot up. “Girl with the pigtails.”

  “That’s April,” Emmy told him.

  One of two first graders, April smiled, showing a gap where her two front teeth should be. “Do you like remodeling?”

  Only Emmy detected the slight hesitation. Both men nodded.

  “Sometimes there are challenges along the way,” Ian said. “But the end results make any problems worth the effort.” He called on a pudgy eight-year-old boy.

  “How did you get started?”

  The twins traded looks, and Brian answered the question. “Our older brother, Mac, launched the business. He’s leaving the island in about two weeks, though, to travel and then go to college. While he’s gone, we’ll take over.”

  For a moment Jesse looked startled, as if he’d forgotten about Mac leaving. Then a smug, knowing look flickered across his face. Emmy had no idea what he was thinking. And at the moment, no time to wonder.

  “You mean your big brother hasn’t gone to college yet?” asked a rail-thin, blushing seventh-grade girl.

  Brian shook his head. “Hasn’t had the time. But he knows the importance of an education, and he’s bound and determined to get himself a degree.”

  “Did you go to school?” fifteen-year old Will asked.

  Brian nodded. “Ian and I both did.”

  “Do you need to go to college if you remodel houses?” Will asked.

  “Not really, but you can’t go wrong with an education.”

  “We should probably move on now,” Emmy said. “If there’s time later, people can ask more questions.” She moved to the side of the room, out of the way.

  Brian held up a black drill. “Anyone know what this is?”

  Jesse’s hand was the first up. Ian nodded at him. “Jesse?”

  “That’s an electric drill. I got to try it the other day. That’s because I live across the street from where Mac and Ian and Brian are working, so I get to hang out with them sometimes,” he added with obvious pride.

  Several of the kids, including Peter, oohed and ahhed with admiration, and Emmy’s son puffed out his chest. Emmy felt just as proud, and happy for him.

  Ian and Brian discussed safety, then donned eye protection. They showed how to change the drill bit and demonstrated turning the motor on and off.

  “Now it’s your turn,” Ian said, looking slightly bug-eyed in the glasses. “We brought two drills today and enough safety goggles for everyone. You’ll get to keep those.”

  “Cool,” someone said.

  “Brian and I will each work with one person at a time,” Ian went on. “Who wants to try first?”

  Every hand shot up. Sally waved goodbye to Emmy and slipped out.

  For the next hour the men showed off various tools and let the kids operate them. Time flew by, and everyone was surprised when the parents began to arrive.

  Most of the adults seemed impressed and a bit envious that they’d missed the presentation. Some chatted with Ian and Brian and asked for their cards in case they had remodeling work to be done in the future.

  Soon all the children except Peter and Jesse had gone. The two boys and Emmy helped Brian and Ian toss the wood scraps they’d brought into the trash and fold the tarp.

  “That was a terrific program,” Emmy said. “I’d love for you to came back again. Maybe in a few mont
hs?”

  Ian fiddled with his mustache. “That’d be cool. I’d like to talk about computer programming.”

  “Put me down for media communications,” Brian said. “But not until winter. Summer and fall are real busy times for us.”

  Ian nodded. “Especially with Mac gone. Besides being swamped with jobs, we’ll still be adjusting to running the business. We’ll probably contract out some of the work Mac usually does, but I’m betting on much longer hours for us.”

  Ian nodded. “It’s all up in the air right now. Could we schedule a date later in the year?”

  They weren’t the only ones who’d need time to adjust to life without Mac. Emmy certainly would. She dreaded dealing with the pain and loneliness, dreaded helping her son do the same. Though at the moment, instead of looking sad or upset that the man he so looked up to would soon leave, her son wore a complacent smile. It was the second occasion this afternoon that his expression was at odds with what she expected.

  How strange. She made a mental note to talk with him later and make certain he understood that Mac would be gone for several years. She’d ask Mac to do the same. Again.

  As soon as the door shut behind the men, Jesse turned to Emmy. “Can I spend the night at Peter’s?”

  “May I.”

  “May I?”

  He tried to tamp down his eagerness, which was so like him. Was this why Mac’s leaving town didn’t bother him, because he was so involved with Peter? Emmy hoped so.

  “Mom?”

  “That depends,” she said. “Peter, have you checked with your parents?”

  “I’m gonna when my mom comes to pick me up.”

  This first invitation to his friend’s house delighted Emmy. And meant she’d have the cottage to herself the whole evening. Mac could stay the night. Finally, they’d be together the way they both wanted. Her body thrilled to the idea.

  “If Peter’s mom says it’s all right,” she said, “then yes, Jesse, you may stay overnight.”

  Jesse’s exuberance bubbled over and the boys high-fived.

  Minutes later as Emmy’s shift ended, Caroline Wysocki, Peter’s mother, enthusiastically agreed to the sleepover. “If you don’t mind hot dogs and beans tonight,” she said to Jesse. “We’re so busy getting our shop ready to open that no one has time to cook.”