A Father for Jesse

by Roth, Ann

  Chapter Fifteen

  As the day wore on and Mac’s bad mood festered, he reined in his temper by sheer force of will. And continued to be amazed by his kid brothers. Yeah, Brian was down about Rebecca, but just like Ian, he ribbed and goaded his twin and Mac. They worked as hard as always. Mac wondered why neither of them wanted an acting career. They were pros.

  Now that he knew how they really felt about remodeling he saw what they hid so well. The forced heartiness, the long faces when they thought he wasn’t looking. Brian still reading those dry-looking communication books should’ve been a dead giveaway. Mac gave his head a mental shake. How could he have been so frigging obliv—

  “Yo, Mac,” Brian said. “I repeat, hand me those wooden caps so I can cover the screw heads on these cabinets.”

  Too ticked off to reply, Mac scowled and tossed over the caps. He glanced at his watch. Almost three-thirty. The ninety minutes left before he could air his thoughts seemed an eternity.

  “You’re still sore that Emmy didn’t wait around to let you in this morning, aren’t you?” Ian said.

  In no mood to discuss his love life—or lack thereof—Mac clamped his jaw shut.

  Brian grinned. “You’ll see her this afternoon. Then you two can—”

  Enough was enough. “Knock it off. I don’t know how you found out about Emmy and me, but it doesn’t matter. We’re through.” He gave Ian a deadpan look. “But I’m with you, Ian, she’s hot. For an older woman.”

  Brian looked taken aback. “Say again?”

  “What are you talking about?” Ian tugged his goatee.

  More b.s. Mac snapped. “I didn’t bring you two up to be liars. Bad enough that you do it at all. But lying to me…I’m mad as hell at you both.”

  Ian blanched. Looking like a thief who’d just been caught, Brian froze.

  Reactions that would’ve been funny, except that Mac’s future, his life, was on the line. “Your dirty secret’s out,” he said. “I know you hate working in the business.”

  His brothers traded uneasy glances, then Brian sighed. “Emmy told you, didn’t she?”

  “Nope. You did. I was in Toddy’s last night and heard the words straight from your two-sided mouths.”

  “But we never saw you,” Brian said.

  Mac’s cell phone rang. Ignoring it, he crossed his arms. “That’s not my problem and not the issue.”

  “Aren’t you going to answer that?” Ian said. “Might be important.”

  “So’s this. Whoever it is can leave a message.”

  “You’ve been holding all this in since last night?” Ian frowned. “How come you haven’t said anything till now?”

  “I needed time to think. Why’d you bullshit me?”

  “What you heard was just harmless bitching,” Brian said. “We’re committed to putting in our three years.”

  Ian nodded. “We want to do it, Mac. We owe you.”

  “Yeah, well, I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want either of you working in my company just to do me a favor.”

  “But, Mac—”

  He silenced Brian with a stern look. “The heavy work here is done. I’ll finish the rest myself. I want you two to go after the careers you want.”

  “But we owe you,” Ian repeated.

  That they thought so was Mac’s fault, and he regretted raising them to believe it. “You want to pay me back?” he asked. “Be happy, productive citizens. And don’t ever lie to me again.”

  He didn’t hide his anger or his disappointment. In the silence that fell, he could almost see the wheels grind in their brains as they digested this turn of events.

  “What do you really want to do?” Mac looked from Brian to Ian. “And don’t either of you try to con me.”

  His brothers exchanged a glance. After a brief silence, Ian spoke. “All I ever wanted was a job as a computer programmer.”

  Which made sense. Mac nodded. From his brothers’ conversation last night he already knew Brian’s ambition. He asked, anyway. “Brian?”

  “I’d like to get a PhD in communications, then teach or maybe consult with companies needing help with various media.”

  Mac nodded again. “Do it. Both of you. With my blessing.”

  “You sure about this?” Ian asked.

  “I said I was.”

  “What’ll you do without us?” Brian asked. “You’re leaving in less than two weeks. You don’t have time to find anyone else to run the business.”

  As Mac well knew. With no one to take over he’d have to close up shop. The words stuck in his throat, too painful to say.

  “You can’t just shut down,” Ian said. “This company means too much to you.”

  So true. Mac had worked long and hard to build his business. He loved what he did. The company was a big part of him, and the thought of starting over in three years made him feel cold inside.

  Hips canted against the counter, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and stared at his scuffed boots. And thought about canceling his travel plans and forgetting about heading off to college. But that felt just as bad.

  “We’ve already lined up three more jobs from now through spring,” Brian pointed out. “And there are four other people waiting for slots this summer. We can’t just leave them high and dry.”

  Mac wasn’t sure what to do about that. Suddenly rapid footsteps pounded across the porch. Emmy burst through the door, wild-eyed and pale.

  “I tried to call you, but you didn’t answer,” she said to Mac. “Is Jesse here?”

  Wishing he’d answered his cell and wondering what was wrong, Mac shook his head. “Haven’t seen him.” Didn’t expect to, either. He was pretty sure the kid hated him for hurting his mother. “Shouldn’t he be at the library with you?”

  “He didn’t show up. He’s not at school, either. No one knows where he is.” Emmy closed her eyes and shuddered. “I think he ran away.”

  “WE’LL FAN OUT,” Mac told his brothers. “Ian, you and Brian cover Main Street, the beach and anyplace else you think Jess might be. I’ll scout out the ferry terminal.”

  “The ferry terminal?” Emmy echoed weakly.

  “That’s the only way off the island. Unless you catch an Island Air seaplane, and I doubt Jess can afford that. Does he have any money?”

  “I don’t know,” Emmy said. “He gets an allowance every week, but he puts most of that into the bank.” She bit her lip. “He might have enough for a ticket.”

  Mac glanced at his brothers. “Either of you know when the next boat leaves for Anacortes?”

  “Not exactly, but when we went to Seattle a few weeks ago, there were only two runs out and back—one in the morning and one in the afternoon,” Ian said as he whipped out his iPhone. “Hold on while I call up the winter schedule.”

  While they waited tensely for the site to load, Emmy fidgeted. “What if we’re too late? What if Jess is already gone?”

  “Unless he caught the ten-ten this morning, there’s still time,” Ian said, studying the little screen. “The next boat leaves in twenty minutes.”

  “His friend Peter saw him at lunch today. That leaves out the morning ferry. Oh, God, Mac. What if he boarded the afternoon boat?”

  “Only takes ten minutes to drive to the terminal,” Mac said. “I’ll head over right now.”

  “I’ll come with you,” Emmy said.

  He shook his head. “You stay home in case Jesse shows up there.”

  “I can’t just wait around and do nothing. I’ll go crazy.” She wrung her hands and rocked on her feet.

  Time was of the essence and Mac had to go. But Emmy needed reassuring. More than that, as close as she was to the edge of hysteria, it was essential she did something. “Why don’t you notify the police,” he suggested.

  Since Jess had only been missing for a few hours, they probably wouldn’t do anything, but she’d feel better making the call. Mac cupped her shoulders and realized she was trembling with fear. “Jesse’s okay, Emmy. Stay calm and stay strong.”r />
  “That’s not so easy.” Her eyes filled. “All right.”

  “That’s my girl.” Not caring that his brothers were watching, Mac tucked her hair behind her ears, then stroked his thumbs over her soft cheeks. “If any of us finds out anything, we’ll call right away. You do the same.”

  With that, he and his brothers headed out.

  At four-fifteen, the heavily clouded sky was almost dark. Keeping an eye out for traffic cops, Mac floored the van. And thought about Jesse. When he found that kid—and he meant to—he’d give him a piece of his mind, and it wouldn’t be pretty. Scaring his mom like this. Scaring him.

  If anything happened to Jesse…Mac quaked at the very thought. And realized he cared about the boy. A lot. Damned kid had worked his way under Mac’s skin. Just as his mother had. Well, not quite like that.

  For a man not wanting to get involved, he sure was tangled up. Snickering and shaking his head in amazement, Mac passed a truck lumbering way too slowly. Between Emmy and Jesse and this mess with his brothers, he hadn’t a clue where his life was headed. But it wasn’t anywhere near the direction he’d aimed for.

  Traveling and going full-time to college. Big dreams he’d held on to for so long now. Did he really still want them?

  His cell phone rang. It was Emmy. To free his hands, he put her on speaker. “What’s up?”

  “The bank just called. Jesse was there half an hour ago trying to close out his savings account.”

  “Did they let him?”

  “No, thank goodness. Since he’s a minor they need my signature for that.”

  “Why’d they wait so damned long to contact you?”

  “I don’t know. I just thought of something. Hang on, while I put the phone down.”

  The stoplight ahead turned yellow. Gunning the engine, Mac sped through the intersection.

  Emmy came back on the line, her voice shaking. “Jesse took my rainy-day money, Mac.”

  “How much are we talking about?”

  “Almost three hundred dollars.”

  She sounded utterly bleak. Mac wished he was there to hold and comfort her. He wished a lot of things. But right now, he needed to get to the ferry terminal and stop Jesse. Let the kid be there. Please.

  “Call Ian and Brian and let them know, will you?” he said. “And hang tight, Emmy. We’ll find him.”

  MAC WAS A SCANT half mile from the ferry terminal when his high beams illuminated a small figure walking on the side of the road, his hoody bowed against the rain and his thumb out. By the baggy jeans and trudging gait, he knew he’d located Jesse.

  Relieved and also spitting-nails mad, Mac checked that there was no traffic behind him, hit the brakes and screeched to a halt beside the boy.

  Jesse’s head whipped around. His eyes widened in shock.

  Leaning sideways, Mac opened the passenger door. “Get in.”

  The boy glanced toward the dark woods behind him, and Mac feared he’d bolt. “Don’t make me ask twice,” he warned in the voice he’d used on his brothers back in high school when they balked.

  It had worked then and did now. Expression carefully blank, Jesse tossed his backpack onto the floor and climbed into the van. His stiff back and set expression screamed belligerence and contempt. He smelled like a wet dog.

  “Buckle up.”

  Jesse’s fingers groped clumsily for the seat belt while shivers shook him. Kid must be frozen. Mac turned up the heat, then aimed the vents at the passenger seat.

  He drove a hundred yards to a wide turnaround and pulled into it. He hauled on the brake and set the flashers to alert other drivers. “Your mother’s worried sick,” he said, handing over his cell phone. “Call her.”

  Now the boy looked scared. “Do I have to?”

  “Yep.”

  As rain pummeled the car, Jess dialed. “Mom? It’s me, Jesse.” He glanced at Mac, his face dark. “Yeah, I’m with Mac.” He listened. “Yes, near the ferry. I’m fine.” More silence. “Please, don’t cry, Mom.” His face screwed up as if he was fighting his own tears.

  “Give me the phone,” Mac said, his gruffness hiding his own tumultuous feelings. Before speaking to Emmy, he sucked in a deep breath and gentled his voice. “Your son is wet and cold, but he’s fine. Let my brothers and the police know, okay?”

  “Police?” Jesse squeaked in fear.

  Holding the phone to his ear, Mac gave the boy a grave nod. “Jesse and I are going to have a little talk. Then I’ll bring him home.”

  Mac switched on the interior lights. He swiveled in his seat to face Jesse. “Confession time. Why’d you do it?”

  The boy stared at his lap. “She’s better off without me.”

  Mac wanted to shake some sense into that foolish eleven-year-old brain, but that wouldn’t help matters. “You really think that?” He snorted. “You’re the center of her life. Without you she’d…” His voice broke with feeling. “She’d never be happy again.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  Now Jess was looking at him, his teeth squeezing his lip and his face a mask of pain and guilt. Something was bothering him.

  “What’s going through your head?” Mac asked.

  “You’d never understand.”

  “Try me.”

  Looking indecisive, Jesse again dropped his gaze. Following a gut instinct, Mac waited without speaking, giving the boy the time he needed. His patience paid off. After a few long moments Jesse raised his head and broke the silence.

  “My mom…she’s never had a boyfriend. I don’t think she wanted one before, but then she met you.” His hands fidgeted on his knees and the words rushed out. “She really likes you, Mac, maybe even loves you. But you don’t want a woman with a son. So I figured, if I’m gone…” Jesse shrugged. “Then there’s nothing to stop you.”

  In other words, Mac realized, this running-away business was his fault. Shocked, he gaped at the boy. “You got it all wrong, Jesse. You’re a great kid. None of this is about you or your mom. I know she understands that because we discussed it.”

  “Then how come she cried so much last night?”

  “She cried?”

  Jesse nodded. “She didn’t think I heard her, but I did.”

  Now Mac felt worse than ever, so bad his heart seemed to have cracked. God, what a disaster. The least he could do was give Jesse the straight goods.

  “I never meant to hurt her or you,” he said. “The honest truth is, all my life I’ve taken care of other people. I didn’t get to do the things I wanted, like travel and go to college. Instead, I raised Ian and Brian and worked. We had an agreement that when they finished school, it was my turn. They both graduated in December, and here we are.”

  “I didn’t know you raised your brothers or that other stuff,” Jesse said. “No one ever told me.”

  “I never thought about filling you in—my mistake. I guess because I didn’t expect that things would…would go where they did. Your mom knew everything, though, from the first week we met.”

  At the time Mac had been so sure of what he wanted. He’d had it planned for years. But now…“Then we…liked each other and got involved and everything changed,” he added.

  With a knowing look, Jesse crossed his arms. “I thought so.”

  This next part was harder to admit. Mac swallowed audibly. Cleared his throat and continued. “I, uh…while I’ve been out looking for you, scared that you ran away and worried that you were in trouble, I realized something important.” He looked straight at Jesse. “I care a heck of a lot about you. I care about your mom, too, more than I ever imagined.”

  In fact, he loved Emmy. Totally and completely. And wasn’t that a stunner? Awash in feelings, Mac sat back and shook his head.

  The boy scrutinized him as if he wasn’t sure what to think of this. “That’s good, right?”

  “Yeah. It is.” Scary, too.

  Jesse nodded and uncrossed his arms. For the first time since climbing into the van, he relaxed in his seat.

  Bow
led over by his own amazing feelings, relieved that he and Jesse had come to an understanding of sorts, and knowing Emmy must be pacing her living room, waiting for her son, Mac clapped the boy’s narrow shoulder. “I know your mom’s anxious to see you. Let’s head home.”

  During the mostly silent drive back, he did some thinking about what he really wanted, now that he’d admitted to himself that he loved Emmy. In light of his feelings for her and Jesse, his old dreams didn’t seem as important as they once had. But he’d held on to them for such a long time. Could he really let them go?

  As he turned onto Beach Cove Way, Jesse suddenly spoke. “You say you care about my mom and me. What are you planning to do about that?”

  The question and his unflinching expression proved that this afternoon the boy had started down the path toward adulthood. Mac sensed that he’d grow into a fine man. And that was something he wanted to witness firsthand.

  He saw his future clearly then, and suddenly everything fell into place. “If it’s okay with you, I’d like to wait to answer that until we’re inside so that both you and your mom hear what I have to say.”

  “Sure.” Jesse made a face. “You know she’s going to cry and get all mushy when she sees me.”

  “That’s women for you.”

  His brothers’ truck was parked out front. Fine with Mac. They should hear this, too. Nervous and excited, but no longer scared, he pulled into Emmy’s driveway, braking behind her car.

  Before the engine died, Jesse was out and hurrying toward the cottage.

  Mac followed, standing just inside the door as Emmy and her son embraced, both tearful and talking at once. Emotional himself, Mac blinked hard.

  His brothers wiped their eyes and nodded at the door, signaling they wanted to leave. Mac shook his head and gestured for them to wait.

  “Promise me you’ll never run away again,” Emmy said, clasping Jesse’s shoulders and peering into his face.

  “I swear.” Sniffling, Jesse pulled a wad of bills from his pocket. “This is yours. If you want to ground me, go ahead. I deserve it.”

  Emmy looked from her son to Mac. “Whatever you said to him, Mac, thank you. And thanks for bringing him home.” She frowned at the boy. “Jesse Franklin Logan, you are grounded. No phone, no TV and no e-mail, no sleepovers with Peter for two weeks.”