Geek Actually Season 1 Omnibus

by Cathy Yardley

  “God, you’re amazing,” he breathed. His hands stroked up her waist, then lingered below her breasts…

  … and retreated.

  She made a little impatient sound. Screw this. He obviously needed some encouragement. She kissed him, pushing against him, twining her tongue with his. He made a low sound of need—she could feel the hum of it from his chest.

  She took his hands, then put one on her breast and the other on her ass.

  She couldn’t be more clear if she had a megaphone and those little flashlight things that guys at the airport used to direct planes.

  Do me, Diego.

  He squeezed, and she moaned. Finally! The caressing, kneading motion was hectic, hard without being painful. She squirmed against him. And the python in his pants actually got bigger and harder. Oh, happy day!

  He tore his mouth away, and pulled his hands back.

  “What? What?” she asked, reeling. He was breathing hard, and she still felt his cock straining against her. “Are you okay?”

  “Sort of,” he said. He sounded like he was being tortured. “Um… we need to talk.”

  “Oh, Christ,” she said, getting up. “Okay, what is this about? You want me, right?”

  “I would think that’s obvious,” he said wryly, looking down at where his cock was outlined against his jeans.

  “Then what is it?” She was so frustrated, she felt like crying. Or bending silverware. Maybe both. “Are you married? Seeing someone? Hell, are you going into the priesthood or something?”

  “No! God, no!” He pulled her against him, kissing her throat, but she was ready to scream.

  “Then why won’t you have sex with me?”

  He let out a long, shuddering breath. “I’m a virgin.”

  She blinked. Then blinked again, slowly. “Pardon?”

  “I know. It’s a total cliché, isn’t it?” His laugh was raw, bitter. “Nerd, video game player, lives with his parents. Owns a board game shop. Never been laid.”

  It still wasn’t computing. He was good-looking. Damned good-looking. He was kind. Yeah, he did sort of live with his parents, but in the other side of their duplex—it wasn’t like he lived with them.

  So why hadn’t he had sex?

  “What are you not telling me?” she asked, after setting out her arguments in her head. “Yeah, it’s problematic, but… listen, if the troglodytes at my company can get laid, there’s no reason why a hottie like you couldn’t.”

  “Not couldn’t,” he said, a little stiffly. “Wouldn’t. I have had opportunities. I’ve even dated women, believe it or not.”

  “I believe it,” she said, still confused. “So why…?”

  “One woman… I was seeing her for a year. She wanted to wait,” he explained. “Religious reasons. I did it because I respected and loved her.”

  Jealousy blazed through her, which surprised her. Of course, she’d been cheated on, so she understood jealousy. But this was his past—this had nothing to do with her. And it was a woman who’d never even had sex with him. “So why’d you break up?”

  “She wanted me to be something I wasn’t,” he said. “We got engaged six months in, but she wanted me to be—you know, more corporate. Upwardly mobile. Ambitious.” He shrugged. “When I told her I was going to go ahead with the game shop, she thought getting married wasn’t a good idea, so we split up.”

  “When was this?”

  “A few years ago,” he said. “It hurt, a lot. I thought I loved her. Sometimes I wonder if I loved the idea of her more than the actual woman.”

  “Okay,” Taneesha said, feeling a little cheered. “But why no women since then?”

  “I buried myself in work. And I’m the kind of guy who moves slowly. While I was dating her, I noticed a lot of the guys I know treat women like commodities,” he said. “I have four sisters, and an amazing mother, and grandmother. I have strong, incredible aunts. The women in my family are fantastic. And they raised me to see that women deserve better treatment than that.”

  Taneesha stared at him. He was… God, what was the male, sexy version of a unicorn? Whatever it was, that’s what he was.

  “So I told myself I wasn’t going to have sex unless it was love. Unless I was in a committed relationship, with someone I genuinely cared about.”

  She blinked again, stunned.

  “That’s why I haven’t made a move on you. Although, holy shit, you are tempting me,” he said. “But I’m not going to change who I am. And I wanted to get to know you better… and see what you thought.”

  “About what?” she said.

  He stared at her, sending her a lopsided smile.

  “About us,” he murmured.

  She was stunned. Still.

  He was asking her about being in a committed relationship with him.

  It wasn’t like she hadn’t thought about it. But she hadn’t realized that he’d thought about it.

  “I’ll give you time,” he said. “But I wanted you to know: Hell, yeah, I want you. I mean, I have no idea how good I’d be, but I want to do whatever I can with you. To you.”

  She smiled.

  “But only when you’re ready,” he said. “When you’re all in.”

  She took a deep breath.

  Was she ready? Was she… all in?

  She swallowed. Her throat felt like sandpaper.

  “This is a lot.”

  He looked sad.

  “I like sex,” she said. “I like you. I don’t want to hurt you. And I’ll be honest, I don’t want to get hurt, either.”

  “I respect that,” he said, his voice all low and rumbly.

  She sat down at the table across from him, and picked up her fork. “Tell me what you think of the pie,” she said, “and then maybe we can, um, try The OA. Out on the couch.”

  He stared at her, then took her hand, giving her fingers a quick, comforting squeeze.

  It wasn’t happening tonight. She wasn’t getting laid. But as she squeezed back, she felt something strong and strange hit her, right in the chest. It was more warm than hot. It felt like joy. And bewilderment.

  And more than a shot of sheer, undiluted fear.

  Geek, Actually

  Season 1, Episode 10

  Well, Actually…

  Rachel Stuhler

  #REBELSCUM

  Christina: I’m so fucking pissed I can barely see straight.

  Elli: What’s up, hon?

  Taneesha: Oh no. Warpath Christina. Everyone out of the way!

  Christina: So… I got a promotion.

  Aditi: That’s great!

  Michelle: Finally!

  Christina: Um… “Finally” Miche? Really?

  Michelle: I’m just saying… You’ve been a PA for like six years. You’ve been on Youngbloods for two. They’re recognizing your work.

  Aditi: What about the promotion makes you unhappy?

  Christina: 2nd 2nd AD is the shittiest job in the world. Long hours, constantly abused by extras, changing the schedule constantly.

  Taneesha: That doesn’t sound so different from what you already do. At least you’ll get paid more?

  Elli: 2nd 2nd? That’s a weird job title.

  Christina: It is. But it’s Hollyweird. Apparently calling it a 3rd assistant director was too much trouble.

  Taneesha: Isn’t this what you went to school for?

  Christina: I went to college to get high and nail bi-curious girls trying to rebel against their conservative parents.

  Aditi: LOL

  Michelle: Well, I think this is amazing news. You can handle any task put in front of you, Chris. You’re talented and smart.

  Christina: Yeah, thanks.

  Taneesha: I think the point isn’t that she can’t do the job, it’s that she doesn’t want to do the job.

  Christina: And really, I don’t deserve it. There are plenty of PAs who are WAY better at this. Who would kill to chase our post-apocalyptic extras through the desert asking them to sign one more fucking form. And they all know I�
��m not right for it.

  Aditi: You think you got this job because of Vivi…

  Taneesha: Oh, yikes. Hadn’t thought of that.

  Christina: I know I got it because of her. I want to be excited, it was a sweet gesture. But I didn’t ask for it.

  Elli: Look, everything happens for a reason. Just because you haven’t done this job before, doesn’t mean you won’t be amazing at it.

  Elli: AND maybe Vivi sees something in you that you don’t see in yourself.

  Christina: Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens…

  Aditi: Chris, you do realize you just admitted to watching The Sound of Music.

  Christina: The Sound of Mucus is universal, Aditi.

  Elli: I think you’re just determined to be Grumpy Cat today.

  Aditi: Maybe you just need to head over to Vivi’s and pound it out a little. A few hours in the Bone Zone and you’ll forget all about your troubles.

  Christina: Already tried. Good sex cures a lot of things, but not this.

  Taneesha: Even bad sex helps.

  Aditi: Still no luck with Diego?

  Taneesha: We’re getting closer. I think? Is there a lady equivalent to blue balls?

  Elli: I think it’s sweet.

  Christina: You would, El. Did I see in the logs that you came out as an ace?

  Elli: Yup!

  Christina: Happy for you little duck!

  Elli: Thanks! But back to Neesha’s problem.

  Aditi: I would like some clarification on “closer.”

  Taneesha: Diego actually told me something I’m not sure how I feel about.

  Aditi: He hates Battlestar Galactica.

  Elli: He thinks Eccleston is the best modern Doctor.

  Taneesha: He still hasn’t punched his V-card.

  Christina: WAT.

  Aditi: No. Fucking. Way.

  Michelle: Wow, that’s impressive. Impressive and… WOW.

  Taneesha: Serious to God. He says he might be ready if I’m “all in”…

  Elli: Are you “all in?”

  Taneesha: Yes? No? I’m not sure? I really like him and I damn sure want to peel his clothes off with my teeth. But I need to make sure it’s serious instead of just infatuation and lust.

  Taneesha: Besides… it’s a big responsibility.

  Aditi: Nope. Not at all. He’s got nothing to compare you to. Show him how you like it and reap the benefits of training the boy yourself.

  Christina: Who wants to train???

  Aditi: I love you, Chris, but you are lazy as fuck. Taneesha, you mold that boy into whatever you want.

  ADITI

  Today was a thrilling day for Aditi, the kind she’d almost forgotten she could have. For nearly a week now, the Next Big Thing had been steadily springing from her brain, through her fingers, and out onto the page. This was the kind of writing she lived for; the inspiration flowing through her, the characters daring her to chase along behind them and try to keep up. In the last couple of months, she’d started to worry that she’d made a mistake, pushing into the world of the published author. That maybe she wasn’t cut out for the bullshit that surrounded what she once viewed as such a purely creative profession.

  But right now, in this moment… her brain was moving faster than when she first realized she might actually know how to finish that first book. This was a second book, and if she could make it through this one, there would likely be a third and fourth. Of course, it wasn’t the book Michelle was asking for. The sequel Aditi had never intended, that the people at Faraday were tripping over themselves to get. Maybe she just needed a break from that world. Maybe she needed to create some new people to befriend, new horizons to cross. And Faraday would come around—they had to. Plenty of sequels came out years apart.

  She knew she should be upset by the MRA response to her Jezebel post. She should be as worried as Taneesha was about the Twitter notifications and weird packages—all of which had already started to happen. But to Aditi, it meant that she was close to something. She’d tapped into a vein of truth, and any and all blood that poured from the wound was necessary. You didn’t get anywhere in the world of writing by playing it safe. Even Druv agreed that a little controversy would only sell more books. And for better or worse, she saw her house as a sanctuary. She knew people could penetrate her inner sanctum, which for a brief time made the walls feel like they were closing in, but she loved it here too much to let anyone take that freedom away from her. The rest of that terrible world existed somewhere beyond her front door.

  Today, she’d been up at five, her mind already switched on and raring to go. At seven-thirty, Druv knocked on the door to her lady writing cave.

  “Everything all right?” he asked. “Insomnia?”

  “The best kind,” she replied, smiling. “The I’m-so-itchy-to-work-I-couldn’t-sleep-a-minute-longer kind.”

  Druv raised one eyebrow. “Well, well. The fabulous Aditi Sodhi rides again. Finally found the voice for the sequel?”

  Aditi shrugged. “Not exactly. I have a hot new idea. It’s so good, Druv. Give me another day or two and I’ll show it to you.”

  She expected an explosion of his proud excitement. Where he’d whip her off the chair in a hug and kiss her so hard on the cheek it momentarily hurt the bone. The best friend things that made their relationship the most satisfying one she’d ever had. But he didn’t walk toward her; instead, he shifted his weight from one foot to the other and said, “Huh. Okay.”

  His attitude came dangerously close to souring her good mood, but she wouldn’t let it. Aditi knew him too well. She should have guessed his objection before ever opening her mouth. “You’re upset because I’m going outside of my contract.”

  “‘Going outside of’ is a nice way of saying you’re in danger of breaching it,” Druv replied. Of course. Mr. Contract Law couldn’t stand it when people didn’t follow every last idiotic rule that was written down on paper. Of all the reasons Druv shouldn’t go into politics—he hated it, they lived in a blue-but-actually-kind-of-red district that would see homosexuality as a scandal—this was the biggest one for Aditi. Druv was too into the rules, and lawmaking often involved unpleasant decisions that weren’t so black-and-white.

  Well, damn. Her mood really was curdled a bit. “I’ll write their stupid sequel,” Aditi replied. “Just maybe not on the timetable they’re demanding. There’s nothing wrong with throwing an extra book in there. It’s a whole other property to sell.”

  “Except that your timeline was part of the deal you put together. Nowhere in there did it say, ‘unless Ms. Sodhi gets a better idea and decides to write that instead.’”

  If Aditi wasn’t mistaken, a box of Double Stuf Oreos had fallen behind the protein shake powder her mother had given her a week ago. She wanted nothing more than to eat the entire box with a glass of milk—chocolate milk, if there was any left.

  “Point taken,” was all she could bring herself to say. Aditi tried to keep things in perspective: Druv really was only trying to look out for her. He didn’t care what Faraday wanted or didn’t want, he only cared that she was protected. But he also worked in a very different world, and it seemed pointless to try to explain that the creative spheres could be far more lenient and forgiving.

  “But use this fire,” he urged her. “Once you get to work, you’re unstoppable.” He crossed the room and gave her a kiss on the head.

  “Don’t stay out too late tonight,” she told him, wagging her finger playfully. “You have court tomorrow. I want you home and in bed—alone—by eleven.”

  Druv gave her a dazzling smile. “Yes, dear.”

  Twenty minutes after he was gone, so were the Oreos. Aditi looked at the clock and realized it was just after nine in New York. Michelle would be at her desk by now. Aditi didn’t feel quite ready to share her work, but she knew she had better address the issue head-on with Michelle before it became a problem. Maybe with a little initiative, she could blow her friend’s socks off.

  Aditi pulled out he
r cell and called Michelle. The editor answered—as expected—on the second ring.

  “Is everything all right?” Michelle sounded panicked.

  “Yes, why?” Aditi replied, laughing.

  “Because you’re awake and calling me at eight a.m. You’re feeling okay, Druv’s okay? There wasn’t an Umbrella Corporation-type attack on the Madison State House?”

  This made Aditi laugh even more. The Michelle she knew and loved, the one who was tightly wound but also knew what a pain in the ass she was, that’s who she’d been missing. “I promise, there are no zombie hordes lumbering down State Street. At least, I don’t think so. I haven’t turned on the TV yet this morning.”

  “So then what’s up?” Michelle asked. “To what do I owe this rare pleasure?”

  Aditi took a deep breath. “I was hoping I could send you some first draft stuff? It’s rough, but I could really use feedback.”

  She could hear Michelle inhale sharply on the other end. “Yes! Yes, I’d love it. Send it over right now. I have a little bit of busywork to get off my desk, but I can absolutely read it today.”

  “Great,” Aditi replied. She expected to feel relief, but she knew she didn’t have the thing Michelle was hoping for. “Just a heads-up, though, it’s a little different than what we’ve been talking about.”

  Aditi was hoping that was enough to paint the picture, but it fell flat. Michelle sounded as revved up as ever. “No good story ever goes in the direction you think it’s going to,” Michelle said. “Just send me what you have and I promise, I’ll be gentle.”

  “You’d better be,” Aditi replied. She cradled the phone between her ear and shoulder and typed the email. “Coming at you, Miche. Let me know what you think.”

  “Yes, perfect! Okay, I’ll talk to you later.” And then Michelle was gone, inevitably to obsess over Aditi’s every word.

  It was out of Aditi’s hands now. She turned back to her computer to revel in this out-of-control inspiration.

  ELLI

  The city was a fairy garden today. The last vestiges of winter were being shaken off and the early buds of the cherry blossoms were starting to emerge. The smell of life and green permeated the air in every direction this morning, and Elli found herself skipping into the coffee shop. She did have to slow to an agonizingly paced walk on the way out, as spilling hot coffee was not as desirable as drinking it.