Geek Actually Season 1 Omnibus

by Cathy Yardley

  Squad Goals

  Cathy Yardley

  ADITI

  Aditi rushed into the lobby of the hotel where Fairy Con was being held. She was exhausted, and running on coffee, anxiety, and adrenaline. After Elli’s call for help that morning, she’d quickly found a flight, thrown clothes in a roller bag, driven an hour to Milwaukee, and waited impatiently until she could hop on the next flight to Toronto. After what felt like an interminable line through customs, she’d finally caught a cab and headed through Saturday night traffic. The con was in full swing with some kind of party—there were incredible, intricate ball gowns, diaphanous and iridescent wings, and more pointed ears than you could shake a stick at. The whole thing had a playful, imaginative vibe that Aditi imagined would’ve been perfect for Elli. That said, she could detect a sexual, almost sinister vibe running through the playfulness—one that Elli might not have seen.

  Well, she sure as hell knows it now, Aditi thought, gripping the handle of her bag tightly, wishing it was that guy’s throat.

  She took a deep breath, forcing herself to calm down. Elli needed her support right now, not her anger. She quickly texted the group: I’m here at the hotel, in the lobby. Where is everybody?

  Michelle answered immediately. Room 1408. I’m already here, and so is Christina.

  Aditi stopped short, causing a tall Thranduil knockoff to bump into her, muttering. He looked down his regal nose as she apologized, waving her off as she scurried to the side of the hallway for a minute.

  She hadn’t talked to Michelle directly since severing their working relationship, and honestly, she’d been in such a hurry to get to Elli that she hadn’t thought about what being face-to-face with her would be like. The whole group so rarely saw each other in person that it was always a big deal, always planned—especially for Michelle—so Aditi didn’t feel prepared for this. She didn’t regret switching editors. And she was still a little pissed off. But damn it, she missed her friend. She missed texting with Michelle about random things—laughing about her latest Tindr misadventures, bagging on Ted’s post-divorce douchebag tendencies, discussing books they both loved. She wondered if it would be weird now, like seeing an ex-lover. Or would Michelle freeze her out, in that super-professional way of hers?

  Oh, GAH, that would suck.

  Aditi straightened her back, then headed for the bank of elevators. It didn’t matter. She hadn’t frantically traveled all day only to punk out now. Elli needed her. Needed them. That was what mattered. Whatever static Aditi might have going on with Michelle was a distant second to that.

  She made it to the room, knocking softly. “It’s Aditi.”

  The door opened. It was Michelle, looking uncharacteristically frazzled, her tailored slacks wrinkled, her blouse sporting a small coffee stain. “Aditi,” she said, her eyes welling with tears as she ushered Aditi in.

  Aditi immediately felt her stomach knot, and she hugged Michelle reflexively as the door shut behind them. “Shit. Is she okay?” Her eyes automatically scanned the room from over Michelle’s shoulder. Elli was bundled up in bed in her Pikachu pajamas, the hood drawn up. Christina rubbed her shoulder. Aditi could hear the strains of music from Yuri!!! on Ice coming from a laptop propped up on the bed.

  “Oh, sweetie,” Aditi said, releasing Michelle and rushing over, sinking down on her knees beside the bed.

  Elli turned to her, her large blue eyes full of pain and confusion. “You didn’t have to come all this way, but I’m glad you did,” Elli said. She was pale as parchment and looked as fragile. “I mean, I feel so bad that you went through all this trouble…”

  She squeaked when Christina gently poked her in the side. “If you’re going to say that every time one of us shows up, you might as well wait until Taneesha gets here in an hour and hit us all at once,” she joked, but Aditi could see Christina was seething. Her eyes were bloodshot but her gaze was furious. Her pupils didn’t look too dilated, either, suggesting she was sober—which was either promising or frightening.

  “You’d do it for any one of us, and you know it,” Aditi said, before Elli could protest. And it was true: Elli was the most emotionally supportive of five of them. She had a soft heart, and she was always the first to offer an online shoulder to cry on. Even though she was usually broke, she’d volunteer to sell something and jump on a plane if she thought it would help. Hell, Michelle had to actively convince her not to fly over and bake cookies when Ted left.

  Michelle sat on the edge of the bed at their feet. “Are you sure you don’t want to report it to the police? Or at least to the convention?” she said, looking at Aditi.

  “You mean she hasn’t reported it to the con?” Aditi blurted out.

  Elli’s whole body tensed, and she shut the laptop with a click. “No! No,” she said, lowering her voice. “What would I say? That I was stupid? I invited the guy into my room, let him sleep in my bed. Of course they’re going to say it’s my fault.”

  “You felt pressured,” Michelle said gently. “You knew him from previous cons. He preyed on you.”

  “He used to be so nice, though,” Elli said, her voice getting thin and panicky. “I didn’t… I mean, I wasn’t thinking like he was. But I didn’t know how to say no in the middle of it. I didn’t know what he’d do. How he’d react.”

  “Of course you didn’t,” Aditi said, keeping her voice soothing and modulated, like Michelle’s. “Honey, it wasn’t your fault.”

  “Wasn’t it?” Elli’s voice was a bare whisper. “Why didn’t I say no? Why couldn’t I say no?”

  “I could kill him,” Christina said, her voice a snarl, and Elli shuddered. “I could fucking kill him for what he did to you. I could find him right now.”

  “No,” Elli said, and she started crying. “He was so angry when I wouldn’t leave the bathroom. Worried, too, but angry. He said I was leading him on. That if I’d changed my mind, it was on me. It seemed like forever before he’d go away. I’ve been scared to leave the room since he left.”

  “Nobody’s going to touch you,” Christina said. “I promise.”

  “I’m just so…” Elli started, then she threw off the covers, stumbling to the bathroom. Aditi heard the sound of her retching, and felt tears stinging her own eyes.

  I could fucking kill him too.

  “I’ve got this,” Christina said, heading to the bathroom and grabbing a washcloth. Aditi looked at Michelle, feeling angry, hurt, powerless.

  “Where the hell is Ruby? The lady she worked for… what happened there?” Aditi asked, in a low voice.

  “Ruby died.”

  “What?” Aditi stared. Michelle was shaking her head. “When? Like right now?”

  “A little while ago.”

  “Why didn’t she tell us?”

  “You know how Elli gets,” Michelle said, sighing. “She didn’t want to think about it, much less talk about it. I think she just sort of shut down, pretended it didn’t happen.”

  “So she threw herself into the cosplay,” Aditi finished, with a sigh of her own. “Got almost manic with it. Just escaping.”

  “That’s what it looks like.” They were quiet for a long moment, then Michelle cleared her throat. “So, how was your flight?”

  Aditi let out a quick huff of breath. “Not bad, all things considered. I don’t know how hard it’ll be trying to get back into the country. Druv’s law firm had to write up stuff for a tech company whose employees got hassled crossing back over from Toronto. And if they ask for my cell phone password and see the shit on my phone… well. Hope they like dick pics.”

  They were silent for a minute. Then Michelle started giggling. “Can you imagine?”

  Aditi snickered. “Well, somebody’s packing a lethal weapon,” she said in her best TSA-official impression.

  “Is it supposed to curve like that?” Michelle said, pretending along with her.

  “Is that a hairless mole rat?”

  “Who takes a picture of their thumb?”

  The two broke into l
aughter, and for a second, everything was back to normal. Everything was all right, or at least, as all right as it could be given the circumstances.

  “I’m glad you’re here,” Michelle said, taking her hand and squeezing it. “Not just for Elli, but… I’m glad to see you.”

  Aditi tilted her head, surprised. Michelle seemed… softer, somehow. Not her usual uptight, mint-in-the-box self. She was always the most pulled together of the group, the product of her mother’s fashionable and professional influence. But now Michelle was approachable. Almost vulnerable.

  “Have you been drinking?” Aditi asked her, then winced.

  Michelle just laughed. “There have been some changes,” she admitted. “I figured out some things. Good things, I think.”

  Aditi stared at her friend curiously.

  “I’d like to tell you about them sometime,” Michelle said, her voice hesitant. “If, you know, you’re interested.”

  “Always,” Aditi said, squeezing Michelle’s hand back.

  Elli returned, collapsing into the bed as Christina tucked her in, like a mother comforting a three-year-old. Aditi’s heart ached.

  There was a knock at the door, and Elli shrank back, even as Christina headed toward it, fists balled.

  “It’s Taneesha,” they heard, and Christina opened the door.

  “Well, now it’s a party,” Christina said, and they all laughed. Even Elli offered a soft chuckle.

  CHRISTINA

  Christina curled up on the small couch in Elli’s hotel room. They’d ordered room service, getting Elli some soup, and they’d asked for two extra cots. It was almost midnight, and Taneesha was taking one cot, Michelle the other, while Aditi was bunking with Elli, who was currently curled up on her side and conked out.

  It had been too long since they’d been all together, Christina thought. Her back was probably going to be fucked up tomorrow, but it’d be worth it. She was with her people, her best friends. It took the sting out of her breakup with Vivi.

  Some of it, anyway.

  She hadn’t realized how isolated she’d gotten. She used to text Taneesha every day. She’d probably talk to Aditi a couple of times a week, and Elli at least every other week. She was on the Slack channel all the time. But in the past few weeks—months, even—she’d started pulling in, letting Vivi’s crazy become her whole world. She’d always sworn she wasn’t going to be that chick, and damn if she didn’t go ahead and lose herself. She’d laugh if it weren’t still so painful.

  She’d gotten pickier, too, she realized. There was a time when she would’ve fallen asleep on the floor in some fucked-up motel room with God-knows-who after sharing some drugs of dubious quality after a late night filming or an after-after-party at the end of some concert. Now, she found herself more discerning. The idea of seedy parties with crappy booze and a scatter of random pills seemed lame at this point. Maybe she was too used to Vivi’s brand of comfort—million-thread-count Egyptian cotton sheets or whatever, expensive take-out, top-shelf drugs that were specifically calibrated to give you hallucinations of rainbow-painted moose. She’d gotten spoiled by Vivi’s resources. Now that she wasn’t going to have access to that anymore, she realized she was going to have to lower her standards again. Either that or maybe change her habits a little.

  For the moment, Christina was currently drug-free, and the booze that they’d brought in from a nearby drugstore was at least helping keep her from completely losing her mind.

  Not that she had a problem.

  Okay, actually, maybe she had a problem.

  Okay, actually, I have several problems, she admitted to herself with a grimace, thinking of the fact that she’d just quit her job and had told her landlord she was moving out, since she’d planned on living with Vivi. But, hey, drugs might well be on the list in the shit show that was her life, too.

  Christina focused on what Taneesha was whispering to them in a husky chuckle. “So then I said, ‘finish him,’ and he came.”

  Aditi let out a rolling laugh, then hushed, afraid of waking Elli. She buried her face in the pillow, muffling her chuckles. Michelle actually giggled like a schoolgirl. It was really nice to hear. And it was good to see her and Aditi getting along a little better, too.

  Christina sighed.

  “We’re going to be working on his stamina,” Taneesha said with a sly smile that showed she was looking forward to the challenge. “And if nothing else, the guy has resilience. He was ready to roll again in less time than it would’ve taken me to reheat a pizza.”

  Aditi smirked back knowingly, nodding. “So he’s not a ten, but you can at least get five twos out of him.”

  “More like fours,” Taneesha said. “And thankfully, he knows he doesn’t know anything, so he’s open to instruction. When was the last time you could say that about somebody you slept with, right?”

  Christina groaned. When was the next time she was going to be able to say that about somebody?

  The noise made them shift over to her. “You’ve been quiet,” Taneesha pointed out. “How are things with Hollywood girl?”

  “Over,” Christina said. “And I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Oof,” Taneesha said, her face sympathetic. “Sorry, sweetie.”

  “How’s work, at least?” Michelle asked, then grimaced. “Sorry. I swear, I’m not trying to pry. Just wanted to change the subject.”

  “Except Hollywood Girl works on her show,” Aditi pointed out. Now it was Michelle’s turn to groan.

  “Okay, I suck! Sorry, sorry. I really am.” Michelle said. “I’m trying not to get into your business.”

  Christina gaped. “Since when?”

  Another round of muffled snickers at that one. Michelle grinned good-naturedly.

  “I’m making some changes,” Michelle said, sitting up on the cot and hugging her knees. She was wearing a big T-shirt and no makeup. It reminded Christina of when they were kids together. They hadn’t been close then—they were simply too different—but with their mother cycling between strict and domineering when she paid attention and distant but pleasant when otherwise occupied with the demands of her business, the two half-sisters had at least been partners in the struggle—Band of Brothers style, as it were. And yeah, even then, Michelle had reveled in getting in Christina’s business, so this was downright alien.

  “Why are you making changes? Not that I’m complaining, but…” Christina’s eyes narrowed. “This doesn’t have to do with asshole Ted, does it?”

  “No. This is from me,” Michelle said. “It’s come to my attention that I’ve been too tightly wound, too controlled.”

  “Shocker,” Christina said. “I fucking tell you that constantly.”

  Michelle looked pained, then took a deep breath. “Well, I beat the shit out of a submissive.”

  Christina looked at her, then at their friends, and saw her own confusion mirrored in their expressions. “Okay, I’ll be the asshole, I guess,” Christina muttered. “Isn’t that what they want? I mean, isn’t that the point? Red room of pain and all that?”

  “Ew, you did not just mention that Fifty Shades bullshit,” Aditi said, rolling her eyes. “Even I know that’s not real.”

  “It’s not like that, exactly,” Michelle said, clutching her knees more tightly and resting her chin on them. “I mean, I really hurt him, past what he could handle. I kept thinking he was okay with it, or that he’d tell me more explicitly and correct me if he wasn’t—but he didn’t, so I just kept going harder, and… I mean, I injured him. He got a goose egg on his head the size of a golf ball. And he looked at me like I was a monster. He also told all the people in the New York bondage community what I’d done, and made it clear that I was either a complete sadist or an idiot.”

  They all sat in stunned silence for a second as they processed that. Aditi looked shocked. Taneesha looked sad, but supportive. Christina let out a whoosh of breath.

  “Fuck,” Christina breathed. Her proper, always-do-it-right sister would hate that above a
ll things: She’d take public humiliation over perceived incompetence.

  Michelle continued, “It was all my fault, because I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing. I thought I’d done all the research and I was so full of myself, so intent that I knew just what I was doing, that I… I messed up. Oh, and it’s been pointed out that I don’t really listen all that well.” She tucked her head a little, as if she didn’t want to look at them.

  “You do suck at listening,” Christina agreed, causing Taneesha to throw a pillow at her. “But you totally mean well,” she amended.

  “Is the guy okay?” Aditi asked.

  “He seems to be. Now, I mean,” Michelle added, exhaling softly.

  Christina tilted her head, taking in her sister’s face in the pale light from the night-light Elli had put in the bathroom. “You okay?” Christina asked quietly.

  Michelle sighed. “I’m better than I was,” she said. “Aditi, do you remember Richard and Felice? From New Orleans?”

  Aditi nodded, still wide-eyed. “What about them?”

  “He—they—have agreed to be my mentors. It’s painfully apparent that I don’t know everything. Richard has offered to help me learn. It’ll mean listening more, working on my communication. Being open to learning.”

  “And you’re good with that?” Aditi asked.

  Christina wondered if Michelle would take offense, but instead she just cracked out this Zen smile. “It’ll probably sound weird, but it’s been a huge relief. I feel more comfortable than I have, pretty much ever. It’s been remarkably freeing.”

  “Freeing… how?” Taneesha asked.

  “The bondage, the BDSM… it gives me something. Insight. It helps me feel more like me. But I had to stop acting like I knew everything, or thinking I could fake it. I needed to just give in and admit that I needed to make changes. I had to surrender. Submit. That’s what I’m doing now. I don’t know how it’ll turn out, but I’m trying.”

  They were all quiet for a long moment. Christina fought not to gawk. As much as she loved Michelle, the woman was as flexible as cast iron. Now, seeing her making this big concession was kind of awe-inspiring. And as much as she hated it, Michelle’s heartfelt admission did more to nudge her, and guilt her, than any of her sister’s well-meaning rants and advice ever could.