Blessed by Sapphires (A Dance with Destiny Book 2)
Page 7
So consuming were my sobs, if anyone were listening, they would’ve been hard-pressed to make out a single word. “Varick, my love, I want to return home. I only ever wanted to be your Anicee. I am so sorry. I am so dreadfully sorry. Forgive me for loving Vareilious too much, forgive me for the secret confession you never even heard. I was too scared to give my mundane heart to one as glorious as you. Why did you love me so much? Why would you trust your forever to one such as me? I know I don’t deserve you, yet… I want nothing else in this universe. Only you, Varick… only my Alzeen.”
I curled up there on the floor of my borrowed room and cried. I don’t know how long I lay there. I believe I slept. I didn’t hear the door open, nor did I feel his gentle hands try to rouse me. Yet I briefly pulled my mind together when I heard that tender, comforting voice in my ear.
“Jenevier… Jenevier, can you hear me? Please wake and take some food. You must keep up your strength. Let me help you. Please.”
I heard his voice, yes, but it seemed so far away. Someone carried me to the giant bed. Two whole days passed before I heard his voice once more.
“What ails you, lovely lady? Did you finally give up? Has your sanity escaped to some dark place I cannot follow?” he whispered. “Have those worthless Guardians of yours finally broken you completely? Are you beyond repair, little sister?” I felt strong arms wrap about me, pulling me back against his warm chest. His lips were in my hair, the heat from his breath tickling my scalp. “If you will only let me, I can heal you. I will never let harm come to you, tiny Angel. I will keep you forever at my side, forever in my arms. Can you hear me? Can you feel my heart pounding against your fragile back? I wish you knew me, wish you realized in whose arms you now lay. If you only knew the truth of it, little one, you would see. You would know then; you would realize there is not a creature in existence who could remove you from my embrace. Let me be your constant, Angel. Let me gift you with a glorious forever. Open your eyes, Jenevier, accept your fate. Wake now and realize your true destiny.”
“Vybius?” A woman’s voice invaded my lovely dream, calling out a name I had never heard before.
“Yes, Vydia, what is it?”
“Will you not come now and eat? You’ve been sitting there talking to her for days. You must eat something before the council meeting.”
“I will be fine, Vydia.”
I heard the exasperated sigh that followed his words.
“At least, take some tea. I will run your bath and get your council robes ready. Please, leave this room. She is no longer here. It’s time to let her go.”
“I will not leave her, not as long as she still draws breath. Guardians did this to her, Vydia. The Vanir are responsible for this child’s fragile mind. Humans are not Vanir. Human girls are not celestial warriors. It should be counted as sin to treat them thusly.”
“But, Vybius, the sin was hers. No Guardian forced her hand in that murder. She alone tore out the heart of—”
“Vydia, leave me.” He thankfully cut off her painful words. “I do not wish to quarrel with you and I don’t have the patience right now to show you how badly you err.”
I heard the door softly close and I felt the cool towel placed gently on my head. I tried to remember where I was. The realization of that memory pulled fresh tears to the backs of my eyes.
“I didn’t know your name. It is quite lovely. Vybius… I like it.”
When I finally forced my lids open, those amethyst eyes were sparkling and a warming smile welcomed me.
“There you are, Milady. I have missed you, oh, how I’ve missed you. Where did you go?”
“Nowhere… I know not… it was just… darkness.”
“Then why did you come back?” He was brushing sweat-drenched curls from my forehead. “I feared you had entered the abyss and could not return. I feared you would lose your way.”
“Your voice… your words… they lulled my heart. Then… you were angry. I was worried about you.” I tried to focus on producing a coherent thought. “I’m not certain as to why, but I was. It truly isn’t fair you know, making me fret over you so soon after our first meeting.”
He laughed softly, and that alone made me feel better. It helped center me.
“Can you sit up?”
When I managed to get up on my elbows, I felt lightheaded. Vybius helped me the rest of the way and placed a fragrant cup of warm tea in my shaky hands. It was delicious. His gentle touch was so soothing—slowly rubbing tiny circles across my back, mindlessly comforting me. It was such a tender, caring thing to do. It only served to make me feel worse. I tried to force my mind to ignore my eyes, to look at this man without noticing his all-too-perfect wrapping. It was no use. This enchanting man’s ideal packaging also held an invaluable gem within. I was certain of it. At least, that’s what I convinced myself.
Ugh, I have to think on other things. I will never fall for this man. I swear it by all I know. He is NOT Alzeen. He is NOT Varick. If I must, I will be cruel to him for even being allowed to own their similarities. I determined to constantly convince my addled mind of the truth. He is my new brother… he is only a brother… a warrior brother, not my lost lover.
The backs of his fingers brushed gently against my cheek. “Forgive me for not giving you my name when first we met. I was so excited I must have forgotten.”
And then, he blushed. He was so cute when he blushed… Dammit.
“Gratitude for saying it’s beautiful,” he whispered.
My eyes narrowed. “Why were you excited?”
I took another long drink of the wonderful tea. I had waited years to taste tea such as this. I immediately wanted more.
“Excuse me?”
“You said you were so excited you forgot to mention your name. What were you so excited about?”
He seemed shocked by my question. Those magical eyes studied my expression intently. “Why, about meeting you, of course.” He said it just as plain and matter-of-fact as you could possibly imagine.
This is where I gracefully choked on my tea. No matter how long I lived around these incredible warriors, their raw honesty still stunned me.
“Are you well?”
“Yes. Apologies. You caught me a little off guard.” A couple more coughs and my lungs were again clear. “Tell me. How is it you knew of me? How did you even know I was coming? And why in the world would I be anything worth getting excited about?”
He chuckled and tried to gently untangle some of my curls. “You jest, no?”
“No. I don’t feel much like joking around anymore.” Vareilious’s smirking face popped into my mind. “The thrill of it has left me.”
“Truly?”
“Truly. When I lost my dear friend… I lost my taste for it.”
“I see.” His voice dropped to barely a whisper. “Apologies, Milady. I did not mean to cause you grief.”
“Please, Vybius, please stop apologizing to me. Just promise me you’ll never stop laughing and smiling.” I closed my eyes as I tilted my head from side to side, popping the bones in my weary neck. “Yours is the only warmth I have known for many years now.” I finished off the last of my delicious tea and slowly filled my lungs with the pristine air of Vandermil. “Ahh… May I have some more of your magical tea?”
He didn’t answer. I turned to hand him my empty cup. The silver in his eyes was flashing or glowing or pulsing or something. I had never seen anything like it before. Well, except, Vashti’s rubies could flash. But this was different. He didn’t seem to be looking at me, and he gave no indication he’d even heard me speak. I was terribly curious. It was truly an odd thing to behold.
“Are you a seer?” I turned full to face him. “Vareen would get that same far-off look in her eyes when she was witnessing a vision. I mean, her eyes didn’t flash or anything.”
He remained as he was, silent.
“Are you having a vision?”
Vybius still didn’t answer, but the silver pulsing began to slow. Eventually, he focus
ed on my questioning face, seemingly alarmed to find me watching him so intently. He blushed, again.
Jeez. Why does he have to keep doing that? It’s like he’s trying to tempt me.
He nervously cleared his throat. “Apologies. Did you say something?”
“Are you well, Vybius? Your hands tremble. You seem as if you’re ready to jump out of your skin at the slightest bump.”
I reached for him, tenderly placing my hands over his. I was right. He jumped clean off the bed.
“Whoa, slow down there, Angel.” I couldn’t help the chuckle mixed in with my words. “I only wished to comfort you. Please do not interpret my actions as forward. I understand quite well. Some people don’t like to be touched. I get it. Apologies. I will not err so again,” I promised. “But you seem just about ready to burst.”
“No, no, please don’t take it that way. My mind was elsewhere. I was lost in my own head. I love to touch you, Jenevier.” A gentle smile turned up the corners of his mouth. “Your skin is so soft. You look so delicate, so fragile. It’s merely a guise though; the lean muscles of your arms and legs are deceptively hard.” His smile grew wider. “I have lain with you for two full days, Milady, doing nothing but touching you.”
“Excuse me?” I admit to letting the horror show plainly on my face.
He quickly held up his hands, waving them frantically. “No, no. It wasn’t like that.” He blushed again. “I only meant I had stayed by your side every moment since I walked in and found you curled-up on the floor. I laid you on the bed and tended to you.”
I arched one eyebrow, tilting my head to the side. I could only stare at this angelic creature—stumbling over his strangely apologetic words.
“No, Milady, I didn’t tend to you like that.” The blush on his cheeks was now crimson, quickly spreading to cover the whole of his face. “I only meant… I was only trying to… Please, stop looking at me like that.”
He almost pouted, his bottom lip protruding slightly. Sooo cute!
His stammering tickled me. I couldn’t help a small laugh. A Vanir, fumbling his words and fidgeting his hands. I never thought I’d live to see the day I was the one doing the teasing around these majestic people.
“Calm yourself, Vybius. I was only playing. It was but jest. I must admit. I’m not accustomed to your kind being so gullible. I took full advantage of your embarrassment because I simply could not help myself. Apologies, Brother. I just never thought I’d get the chance.”
He just stood there, frozen, staring blankly at me. I crawled across the giant bed and took his hand, coaxing him to sit back down and relax. That lovely purple Guardian let me pull him down beside me once again. I couldn’t help but touch those enchanting amethyst strands perfectly surrounding his angelic face. They beckoned me, always.
“May I?”
Of course, I hadn’t waited politely for a reply. My hands were in his hair before my words had finished.
He closed those enchanting eyes and only smiled. I took that as a yes.
“I don’t want to do this wrong,” he whispered. “I want you to know me, Jenevier, truly know me before…” He paused, thinking upon his words. “How can I say this?” His eyes remained closed. “I have waited for you for so long. Your lovely smile remains in my thoughts even when I sleep. I already know everything about you, Milady. Now, I want to show you who I am, who I can be… for you. I need you to understand how I can help you, how I’m meant to help you. But, I must be careful. I don’t want to harm you the way Va—” He stopped. His eyes opened wide, regret evident in those magical silver windows.
Like a shot through my heart, my anger flared. “The way who? The way Varick did? Or do you speak about Vareilious? Perhaps you were going to say I was also harmed by Vareen or Valadrog or Vinika or Vittorio—”
“Well, were you not?” he interrupted.
I tried, feebly, to rein in my temper. “No, Vybius. Their intent was never to harm me.” My words were forced through gritted teeth. “I brought harm upon myself. Actually, that happened to be the one thing they didn’t have to help me with.”
“I disagree,” he whispered.
“Well, do not,” I snapped.
Silence hung in the air between us.
This is perfect. Hate him just enough so that you do not desire him. Do not open your heart to this man. Your pathetic heart is weak and foolish. This you know, Jenevier. This you have always known. And if you cannot hate him, focus only on the things you don’t like about him. Repeat them over and over in your head. Concentrate on his faults, hate will grow on its own.
Alas, all in all, I was just too weary to fight. This poor man had been nothing but kind to me. I knew I was acting like a child. Vareilious would have called my actions a temper tantrum. He would have scolded me for acting like such a baby. I took a deep breath, sighing inside.
This man cannot help how he looks or how he was created any more than I can. I, of all people, should realize how it feels to be judged by something you had absolutely no control over whatsoever, like looks or hair or skin or smile. Why must I always overact? When will I ever grow up and stop being so ridiculous? Besides, who am I kidding? He has no faults. He is perfect. Ugh, I hate him.
I decided to try and mend the fence I had only just broken. “Tell me what you were doing, Vybius, when your eyes were flashing.”
“I was reading your soul,” he said casually.
“Oh, is that all?”
So much for that. My control was once again gone, my juvenile temper returned. Vybius couldn’t help but take note of the intense sarcasm dripping off my words.
“You’re upset? Offended?”
“Umm, yes. I cannot even begin to imagine anything any more invasive and violating as reading one’s very soul, especially without permission.”
“Apologies. That’s what I do.” His answer was flat, dry.
“What’s what you do? You read peoples souls?” My voice was growing ever louder. “That’s what you do? As in, your job? Your talent? Your gift?”
“That’s what most of us do here. Please, do not feel violated. It was never intended as such. And I would also like to ask for you to please refrain from questioning me further until after I’ve properly taught you our ways, and your new part in them.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “This is exactly what I meant before when I said I did not wish to harm you, didn’t wish to do this wrong. I have been gifted, or perhaps cursed, with a glimpse of your mind during your training in Vanahirdem. I will not make those same mistakes, Milady. I would never harm you so.”
“Wait… So I’m here to be trained? Is that what you’re saying?” I let out an exhausted sigh. “What for this time? What will my new cursed role be amongst you fair people? Am I to be another pariah, another outcast living amongst the perfect?” I narrowed my eyes, set my jaw, holding my mouth in a hard line. “I will not lie to you, Vybius, and tell you this pleases me in the least.”
“I know, you cannot lie. I saw that as well.” He smiled.
Ugh, I swear I hate him. Or… I soon shall.
Chapter 12
Vybius
(VYE-bee-us)
It had been days since I’d gotten to enjoy a really good soak. I’d relaxed in the blissful warmth for nearly an hour. So, I wasn’t shocked when Vybius opened the door, begging permission to enter and speak.
“Do you mind? We have much to discuss, Milady.”
I rolled my head to the side, looking at the gentle man bowing his way into the room. “Of course not, Vybius. You tended to me for days and then read what’s left of my soul. I’m pretty sure my bare flesh won’t even come close to shocking you.”
I knew I was being childish, but it was my only current form of defense. At least, that was how I was justifying it to myself, and also how I was trying to rationalize away the coldness I was heaping upon the only person who had shown me warmth. I am sooo ridiculous.
“I begged your forgiveness. Did I not?” His voice sounded so small.
&n
bsp; “Yes, you did.” I sighed. “Apologies. Come in and have a seat. I can talk and soak at the same time.”
I motioned toward the chair and smiled. Well, I sort of smiled. My heart wasn’t truly in it.
“Upon your waking, I was prepared to answer the many questions you must have. Why do you tarry?”
I cocked one eyebrow, yet chose not to meet his puzzled gaze. “Oh really? I thought you just asked me to refrain from questioning you?”
“Only refrain from questioning me personally, Jenevier. I don’t want to rush through our formalities. They are needed and necessary, if we wish to have a lasting bond.” He looked at me almost apologetically, with a bit of sadness in his lovely eyes. “I want that more than anything, Jenevier… a lasting bond with you. I have stirred from my slumber countless mornings with the dream of our sweet friendship still playing through my mind.” He suddenly seemed to remember himself and hastily cleared his throat with a nervous cough. “No, I meant, umm… Why haven’t you questioned me about Vandermil, or why you’re here, or what your purpose is? Why haven’t your questions been about those things? Are you not curious?”
“I will admit to you now, Vybius. I did not learn all I could have, nor did I learn all that I should have, during my laborious training in Vanahirdem. Yet, there was one lesson I received far too often. And it was that asking questions only leads to pain. I am weary now, Vybius. Weary of heart, weary of mind, weary of absent soul.”
He didn’t speak.
“To answer you plainly, I ask not because… I fear what your answers will be. I have roamed the whole of layer eight for years and had only just found the very first ray of happiness… when I was instantly snatched from that place. The same as when real happiness found me on Ashgard—the moment I met Alastyn, my world ended. And again, in Vanahirdem, when I finally accepted Varick’s manacle, my life ended. Even in Merodach’s made up world, as soon as I let Dante in my heart… poof, it was all over. So, I will look no further for answers of the heart. It appears my fate wasn’t to never know love, peace, and happiness. On the contrary, Brother. I have been blessed with them all, and in abundance, no less. No, my Fate is a far crueler mistress. My Fate is to know them, truly know them, only to have them torn from me, over and over and over again. No, not any more. Now, I choose to live absent such things for fear of losing them… along with what little remains of me as well.”