Blessed by Sapphires (A Dance with Destiny Book 2)
Page 41
“How does Varick handle this?”
“With regal dignity, as always. I don’t want it to sound as if Vittorio is with her night and day without ceasing. He’s gone much of the time. He is a great warrior and most missions call for his aid. But every free moment he has, he gives to her. Varick is a judge. His duties lie mostly within the city. Rarely does he have to go on missions, so he’s by her side every moment of every day. Vittorio pops in and out. Let us not forget. Jenevier is the executioner. Many summonses contain her name and she is ever eager to leave. When she is home, she takes long walks in the forest. I believe she does this so she can be alone to think. But I don’t know for sure. She no longer shares her thoughts with me. She prefers to stay within her own mind, it seems.”
“So… she lives with Varick as husband and wife?”
“Hardly. Perhaps their souls are married in some strange way. I know not their true bond. But they do not share a bed. Jenevier sleeps alone… Jenevier is alone. It is as I said before. She is surrounded by people who love her, yet she is most definitely alone.”
“It’s all my fault. My curse is what changed her entire world, left her adrift on an infinite sea of misery. I will burn for what I have done to that faultless maiden.”
“I will not lie to you, my love. I used to feel the same way about things. But not anymore. It’s not simply because I now love you. It’s because… she’s different somehow. She is a different person, a different creature. Between you and me, Merodach, I don’t believe she’s even human.”
“Perhaps… Perhaps she never was.”
I could not bear to hear another word. I turned from the ledge I’d been sitting on, just below the chatting couple, and looked through tear-filled eyes toward the clouds. My wings were heavy with words, heavy with guilt.
I caught the tiniest movement from the corner of my eye. There, in the window of my hiding place, stood Alastyn. I could have simply reached out and been able to touch his tear-stained cheek. His sorrowful gaze was fixed upon me. He had heard every word my sister and his King had spoken. I could only stare back at him and try to blink away the water that blurred him before me. Neither of us moved, nor did we speak. The pity was so evident in his eyes, it seared a new wound upon my soul. My first love, my Alastyn, pitied me, felt sorry for me. It made me nauseous.
I destroy everyone I touch. Vindicus told me true… I’m not meant to be tied to anyone. I am forever alone. If for no other reason than to spare all other hearts the bitter pain I will always bring them.
I disappeared.
*****
I let myself fall out of the clouds. I knew not where, nor did I care. I could see the transporting cloudbank getting smaller and smaller as I neared the ground.
I didn’t try to slow my descent. I simply closed my eyes and waited for the crash.
A passing limb ripped a large gash in my arm. The impact of my inevitable collision caused the ground around me to cave in. There I lay, flat on my back, in a hole of my own making.
How fitting is this? Now, if some kind soul would just push the dirt back in, I would have the perfect grave.
I slowly opened my eyes and beheld silver veins spreading intricately across the spidery leaves of giant trees.
Of course. Why would I have fallen anywhere else? If I am to become a true fallen Angel, this is the very layer where it will happen. I have no doubt of that.
“Are you well? I believe you need to work on that landing just a bit, Ajená.”
“Hello, Syadar. It has been a while, my friend. Do not tarry here speaking with me. Continue on your journey lest you be utterly destroyed. I will always count you as friend if you will just walk away and let me die in peace.”
He laughed that strange purring laugh of his. “Angels do not die, Ajená. They just learn to live through the pain.”
Wow, that was a truly horrible, gut-wrenching thought… learning to live through the pain.
“And what do you know of Angels, Kitty?”
“I know many things, Ajená.” He leapt into my grave beside me. “Have you kept your promise to me and returned for our joining?” He sniffed my injured arm.
“Is this your Month of Joining?”
“It is.” He licked at the bleeding wound.
“Forgive me, Syadar. I am already with child. I cannot bear you a cub this time.”
“Fret not, little flower. There will be many more to come. You gave me claim to all of your joinings, remember?” He purred. “Once you have experienced it, Ajená, you will regret all the ones you have missed.”
I half giggled, despite myself.
“If you are with child, why did you let yourself fall? Do you not care for the babe?”
I sat up quickly as my hands went to my still flat stomach. “Oh dear God, what was I thinking? I’m so stupid and selfish. I will be a horrible mother.”
“Yes, it seems you will. It looks as if I shall have to raise all our cubs by myself. But I may have trouble with the nursing part.” He rubbed his silky fur up against me.
I giggled again. “Are you never serious?”
He stopped licking my wound. I turned to find the beautiful chocolate cat was gone, and the lovely brown man was staring at me.
“Ajená?”
“Yes, Syadar.”
“Why do you hate yourself?”
“I don’t hate…” I sighed and let my shoulders drop. “I don’t know.”
“I believe you do. Your problem isn’t being loved. Is it, Ajená?”
“No, my friend. Being loved is definitely not my problem.”
“No, your problem is in loving yourself. So actually, you have no problem at all, Ajená.”
I laughed. “And just how do you come by such reasoning?”
“Byzanthians all love each other. We are all connected. We are all family. There is no jealousy, no strife, no broken hearts, no lost loves. We love who we’re with because… we love who we are.”
“How do you handle that, Syadar? It sounds truly amazing. But, how can you choose a woman to birth your cubs… when she has birthed cubs for your brother, or your best friend, or your worst enemy?”
“We don’t have enemies here, Ajená. But I understand what you’re asking and I have already answered it. We love who we’re with. That’s how we’re made. If I am with a woman today, I will love her with every piece of me, with my whole essence. She will feel my admiration, how much I cherish her. She will feel my sincere love and she will return it to me a hundred fold. How can that ever be a bad thing?”
I looked at this enticing man, so much like my Alzeen. “Because tomorrow you will leave her and love another. Her heart will be broken.”
“No, little flower. She will know that same euphoric love from another. As will I.”
“Then why did you tense in my arms and hurry my departure when we met before? If everyone loves each other here and this place is a utopia for the heart, why did you react so when your brethren approached?”
“Because of your heart, Ajená. Not mine.” He reached out and twirled my curls around his fingers. “You are not made as we are. We mate for life, for the continuation of life. We don’t pick a mate for life. We mate for life. Do you see the difference?”
“I understand what you’re saying, but it goes against every fiber of my soul, Syadar.”
“I know it does. That is why I bade you leave here that day. I needed to protect that enormous yet fragile heart you are blessed with.” He purred again. “I have a surprise for you, Ajená.”
“I’m afraid to ask what it is.”
He laughed that curious purring laugh. “I found your friend, your Alzeen.”
I am certain my heart stopped beating for a moment. “What? Do not say such things, my friend. Don’t tell me the physical equal to the keeper of my heart lives among you here, on Byzantha.”
“Why not, dear one? The joyous comfort you so obviously need is but a stroll from where you have fallen. He will love you madly. I’m certain of it.”
“And that’s exactly what I’m afraid of. I don’t want the kind of love he will offer me, Syadar. My heart needs more sustenance than it will ever find on Byzantha.”
“Do not speak of what you do not know, Ajená. Love is the most powerful force in the whole universe. And Byzantha is full of love.”
“You speak of physical love only, Syadar. I cannot do what you do here.”
“I did not say we never choose a partner for life. There are many such cats who choose to bear cubs with only each other. Perhaps Alzeen is such a cat. Would you like that, Ajená?”
“But what about you, Syadar? What would that do to you? You told me before you wanted me not only during your Month of Joining, but all months in between as well.”
His eyes sparkled. He grabbed my shoulders. I was immediately lost in those beautiful chocolate orbs.
“I do, Ajená. I do.” His normally musical purring voice quivered. “Can you forget your friend? Can you forget your Alzeen and say the words that bind us as life-mates?”
I sighed and looked away. “No, I cannot, dear friend. There is too much expected of me by too many already.”
“Will you ever return, Ajená? Will your wings lead you back to my door once more?”
“I have ended up here twice already. And I know not why. When I relinquish control, my soul pulls me here. There must a reason. There must be some curious hell awaiting me here.”
“So, is that a yes?”
“I’m certain I will return to Byzantha one day, Syadar.”
“And to me, Ajená. Will you return to me?”
I looked back to the dangerously beautiful cat-man and placed my hands on his cheeks. “I will tear this layer apart until I find you.”
Syadar kissed me.
I spent the rest of that day with my charming friend. He invited me to his home, where I took the opportunity to clean myself up a bit. He laid out clothing for me and I thankfully changed, leaving him my tattered dress in return. I couldn’t believe how skimpy the outfit was he’d gifted me. There wasn’t much to it, that’s for sure.
“I will have this one cleaned and mended. I will keep it here for you, my Ajená.”
“Gratitude, Syadar. Even though it goes against my very nature, something deep within me tells me I should leave a change of clothing in your home.” I couldn’t believe I actually said that out loud. “N-not that I expect to be staying here or anything. I-I just—”
He wrapped his arms around me, halting my words, and covered me with warm, affectionate kisses. I know not why, but I let him… and I only craved more.
We spent some private time together. I believe he needed the tender attention as much as I did. No matter how strong a heart appears, they are all extremely delicate, fragile little things. No race is exempt from this truth.
“Ajená?”
“Yes, Syadar.”
“Are you certain you’re not mistaken about being on Byzantha before? I mean, before I found you playing about with those musical mushrooms.”
“I am certain. I could never forget a place such as this. Byzantha holds me in its arms like a babe. It’s almost as comfortable as Aunt Marlise’s little rose-covered cottage. Why do you ask?”
“Many reasons, little flower. Let’s just say, there are too many oddities about you.”
“Like what?” I picked a brush up from his dresser and moved to set behind him. “I know I’m odd, different, unique… but which particular oddity is troubling you?”
“I’m not troubled, not as you’re thinking.” His internal purring became low and rhythmic, matching perfectly with the long soothing strokes as I brushed through his silky chocolate hair. “Let’s just walk through them together. Shall we, Ajená?”
“Very well.” I giggled at the serious tone in his normally playful purr.
“You can hear the music. That’s a gift for Byzanthians only, period, no exceptions.” He slid his hand sideways, cutting through the air, adding finality to his words. “Your heart was stolen at a glance by one of our race. Well, by his likeness. You live with heavenly creatures daily. Yet he is the one man you truly desire.”
“Yes, that is true. I am weak for my Alzeen. Not just his look. Everything about the man I hold perfect.”
I started working on the long braid. He had so much hair, sleek and shiny, simply divine.
“And that’s not all, Ajená. You knew how to trace him as you did me. Without thought, you knew exactly how to command control over me. It was naturally in your mind, born within you, perhaps. And you just admitted you are unconsciously drawn here when your heart needs love and healing. Am I right, beautiful little flower?”
“Yes, Syadar, you are right. It seems Byzantha is a balm for my weary soul.”
His purrs grew deeper, richer, warmer. “I love the feel of your hands in my hair, Ajená. Keep that up, and I won’t let you leave.”
I gave his braid a little tug. “As if you could stop me.”
He only laughed that strange purring laugh before he continued. “All those things are curious oddities, Ajená. Then today… today I have seen something that goes past odd and causes me to take all these little things about you much more seriously than before.”
“What has happened this day that troubles you, dear friend?”
“I beheld your locket, Ajená.”
My hand immediately went to my secret treasure, no longer hidden because of the skimpy clothing I now donned. “My locket? What of it?” I could hear Vindicus’s warning concerning it bouncing around in my head.
“Where did you come by it, my love?” he purred.
“My great-grandmother, Bellevine. She left it to me upon her passing. She died before I was born. Yet, she had a vision of me being winged into the world on the back of a great winged cat… before a troll snatched me away.” I sighed. “I wish I could have known her. She loved me too much, and I wasn’t even born yet.” I smiled at the thought. “Why do you ask, Kitty?” I teasingly bumped him with my shoulder, a bit harder than I meant to.
He cut those stunning cat-man eyes toward me, mischievousness oozing from every pore. “One day soon, Ajená, you and I shall have a good roust. I will enjoy pinning you down, putting you in your place.”
His playful threat pulled tons of giggles from my lightening heart. The longer I stayed here, the better I felt. Byzantha, and Syadar, made my worries melt away.
If I chose to stay here, perhaps they will disappear entirely. Now that would be exquisite, I thought.
Syadar told me a great deal about life on Byzantha—the politics, the ancestry of his family, and the way they lived as a single unit. Separate, but completely together. Even though their way of life had seemed so foreign to me initially, in truth, they were very much as every other race within this universe. Family reigned supreme and children were a treasured blessing. The rarest thing about this layer was their absence of enemies, hatred, and war. Byzantha was a love utopia… amazing.
How could too much love ever be a bad thing? Can you believe I just thought that, Reader? One need only look to my uncharmed life for the answer to that little riddle.
I was listening to his words, truly I was, but I couldn’t draw my gaze from his regal profile. His sharp nose and lean build, the way his body gave off that strangely alluring aroma.
“Why is Alzeen olive and red, where you are wholly chocolate?”
He stopped talking and rolled on his side to look in my eyes. “Some cats are two colors, some are one, and some boast many different shades. Do I not please you?”
I felt shame for leaving an unsatisfied impression where only curiosity was intended. “You please me, Kitty, very much so. You are the embodiment of pleasure, Syadar. I was merely curious.”
“Mmm, Ajená, you know what they say about curiosity?”
“That it killed the cat? Yes, I’ve heard such the whole of my life. Alas, I am still too curious for my own good.”
He pulled me under him, pretending to growl. His long silky br
aid fell over his shoulder as he playfully kissed my cheek.
If I could use but one word to describe Syadar, it would be… sensual. Perhaps… unintentionally sensual. It was part of him, natural. He couldn’t be un-sensual if he tried. Everything about him was exotic and enticing. His eyes widened slightly when I wrapped my arms around his lean back and pulled him closer to me. I wasn’t entertaining bad thoughts toward him. I just loved the way his soft skin felt against mine.
How can skin be as luxurious as fur? How is it no Vanir, save Vinika, even mentions this incredible place and these magical people? Perhaps they love too much to ever have need of a summons from God. Perhaps since there is no hate, there is no need for Guardians and executioners. I smiled at the very thought.
We went for a walk through the forest and he lightened my heart along the way. He was so full of life and love. How could any creature remain depressed when faced with such positive, uninhibited passion and joy?
We had walked quite some time—laughing and talking, playing with the magical music that grew there… before the need to touch him swelled inside me to the point I could hold it in no more.
I turned to Syadar, admiring his rare beauty. I pulled loose the knot I’d tied in his braid, running my fingers through his soft brown locks. When he spoke again, that strange sweetly sour scented breath numbed my mind. It was intoxicating. I leaned into him, gently pushing him back against a giant tree.
For an instant, I thought the look on his face was shock, or perhaps fear.
“Ajená, what does your mind play upon?” His eyes frantically searched mine.
“Wicked things.” I whispered the words against his lips only seconds before I kissed him.
The more I kissed him, the more I could smell his breath, taste it upon my tongue. The more I tasted his rare breath, the more I wanted to kiss him. I didn’t release that gorgeous chocolate cat-man until I was completely satisfied. Alas, only moments after leaving his layer and heading back to Vanahirdem, I was no longer content. I only wanted to return to Byzantha, return to Syadar and hold him until that comforting feeling washed over me again—smoothing out all the little cracked pieces of my essence. I almost did. I know not what stopped me.