Plantation Christmas Weddings

by Barnes, Sylvia

  But what should she do now? Should she leave? Or should she try to speak to Devon? She still wasn’t sure. Ever since the graduation, something had changed in her when it came to him, something that made her uncomfortable being around him. The memory of that night, the feel of his arms surrounding her, still haunted her memory.

  The gravel lane crunched beneath her feet as she moved toward the brick steps. Even as she walked, her mind con-templated which course of action to take. What should she do?

  Oh Lord, how do I handle this?

  “Sandra?”

  She stopped, her foot on the bottom step. She knew that voice. Devon! A figure emerged from the shadows of the gazebo and approached her.

  “Devon, hello.” She pulled her jacket tighter around her, but it wasn’t the nip in the air that chilled her as much as being so close to him. Had his eyes always been so blue? She tried to remember, but suddenly all the history she’d been unable to forget moments ago melted into the present and into his presence. It no longer mattered what they’d been through. It mattered only that he was there with her at this moment.

  His eyes crinkled as he smiled, approaching her. “I heard you were here.”

  Panic gripped her. Had she overstepped her bounds? Did he consider her presence here an intrusion? She rushed to explain. “I thought you were working. I wouldn’t have come if I’d known you were. I know this is a family event.”

  “You’re right. This is a family event. But Sandra, you are family. You’re Jacob and Cara’s mother.” He sat on the concrete bench at the edge of the walkway. “Besides, my mother and sister are thrilled that you’re here. So are the kids.”

  She sat on the other end of the bench, leaving plenty of space between them. A cool wind rustled the trees. She decided to face this head on. Lynn was right. It was time they both acted like grown-ups. “Do you remember the night of the kids’ graduation?” She dared to turn her head and glance at him.

  A slow smile curved his lips. “I remember we were sitting a lot closer then than we are now.”

  The teasing glint in his eyes made her smile. “Yes, we were. We’ve been through a lot together—and apart.”

  The glint in his eyes vanished at her last words, and his body stiffened as if bracing for news. He leaned forward, elbows on knees. “I guess we have.”

  “The thing is, Devon, we can’t continue to avoid one another. We need to find a way to be together without it being awkward for everyone.”

  “What do you suggest?”

  “Let’s make a pact that the past is the past. We can’t change what happened between us, but we can put it behind us and move forward. No more anger over things we can’t change, no more fights, no more hurt feelings. Just two people trying to get along as best they can.”

  He took a long, deep breath then straightened up. “I can do that.”

  “Good. Then it’s settled. We’ll be friends.”

  He nodded. “Friends.”

  He held out his hand for her to shake and seal the deal. She quickly shook his hand, ignoring the tingling sensation that traveled through her skin when they touched. At the moment, putting the fights and disagreements behind them wasn’t nearly as difficult as putting away the memory of resting her head against his chest and feeling his arms close around her.

  “Okay. I’ll see you later, friend.” She rushed away from the bench, up the stairs, and into the house, but felt his eyes boring into her back as she walked away. Despite what she’d said, she would need the safety of distance if she was going to make it through this weekend without making a complete fool of herself by gushing over him.

  Chapter 5

  Biscuit & Blues was crowded as Devon and Jacob entered. The server greeted them.

  “A table for two please,” Devon said.

  “Make that for four,” Jacob interrupted.

  As the server led them toward a table, Devon glanced at his son. “Are we expecting someone else?”

  Jacob grinned slyly. “No, I just…I just thought we might want the extra space.”

  The kid was up to something.

  They both ordered iced tea to drink. Devon didn’t need to scour the menu. He ordered a pulled-pork sandwich with the fixings. However, when it came Jacob’s turn to order, he hesitated, glancing at the doorway and pretending to study the menu.

  “I’m not sure what I want yet. Can we have another few minutes?”

  The waitress obliged and walked off.

  Devon stared at his son. Yep, he was definitely up to something. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on?”

  Jacob glanced at the doorway again then gave his father his best innocent expression. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  He glanced back at the doorway then leaped to his feet and waved.

  Devon followed his son’s glance. Sandra and Cara stood by the door, shedding their jackets.

  “Over here!” Jacob hollered.

  Cara grabbed her mother’s hand, pulling her along as she moved toward their table.

  “Hey you two, what a coincidence.”

  The smug look that passed between Jacob and Cara assured Devon this was no coincidence.

  “This place is busy tonight. I hope we can get a table.”

  “Why don’t you join us?” Jacob suggested.

  “Great idea.” Cara turned to Sandra. “Isn’t that a great idea, Mom?”

  Sandra glanced his way. It was obvious this was not a great idea in her mind. However, instead of coming to her rescue and chastising the kids for this blatant attempt to bring them together, he stood and agreed.

  “I think that’s a terrific idea. Join us, please.”

  “Great.” Cara took the seat beside Jacob, leaving only the one next to Devon for her mother. He pushed back the chair for Sandra.

  “Have a seat.”

  She hung her jacket over the back and slid into the chair. Devon sat down, gently brushing her shoulder. She jumped, obviously startled by his unexpected touch. Suddenly hyperaware of his hands and what do with them, he awkwardly fiddled with his napkin. Every longing inside of him wanted to reach out and touch her, aware of how close she sat to him. The wall prevented him from moving farther away from her to a safer distance.

  He glanced at the kids, noticing the smug looks on their faces as they studied their menus.

  Despite the crowd and the noise, the low lighting and the man on stage playing the acoustic guitar and singing gave the room an intimate feel. On another night, at a different time, this might have been a pleasant family outing.

  “So, Jacob, tell me about school. How is it going?” Sandra asked.

  “Good. I like it.”

  “Really? I went online and checked out your grades for the semester. I noticed you withdrew from Algebra.”

  Jacob shrugged. “I can take it again in the spring semester.”

  “But why did you need to drop it in the first place?”

  “It’s no big deal, Mom. I had trouble understanding Algebra. I’ve already signed up for next semester with a different teacher. I’m sure that’ll solve the problem.”

  “Perhaps it’s that girl you’ve been seeing. Did she distract you?”

  “Jacob has a girlfriend?” Devon directed his question to Jacob. His son hadn’t mentioned a girl to him.

  “How did you know about her, Mom?”

  “I’m sorry, Jacob.” Cara sunk farther into her seat.

  “Thanks a lot,” Jacob said.

  “Jacob, you’re so young and college is about more than having fun. Don’t let some girl distract you from your studies.”

  “She’s not some girl, Mom. Don’t call her that. Her name is Maggie. She’s majoring in early education and she hopes to be a teacher one day.”

  Jacob’s eyes betrayed his defensiveness, despite his outward bravado. The boy was lovesick. How had he not noticed that before? He remembered that feeling from his own young love days. He especially remembered it with Sandra. When he was a young man, loving
Sandra had been easy. All his mind could comprehend was the sound of her voice and the way his arms ached to hold her. He’d breathed her in with every breath and focused on little else but her.

  Is that what the verse meant by “wife of your youth”?

  He stole a look at her now. They sat so close yet were so far apart. They had been for so long.

  God, help me to reach her.

  He ignored the awkwardness of his hands and slid one behind her chair. He smiled at Jacob.

  “Maggie sounds nice. I can’t wait to meet her.”

  Jacob and Cara hurried ahead when they left the restaurant, enjoying the excitement and energy of downtown Natchez. The streetlights were lit, and Christmas decorations adorned most of the shops along Main Street. Crowds of people bustled in and out of shops or gathered to talk with friends while waiting in line for admittance to restaurants.

  “You could have backed me on that with Jacob,” Sandra stated.

  Devon looked surprised by her statement. “Alienating Jacob is not the way to develop trust.”

  “And letting him get away with dropping out of college isn’t either.”

  “Who said he was dropping out of college?”

  “I know where this is headed. Cara says he and this Maggie are getting serious. I don’t want to see him throw his life away over some girl.” She slipped her arm into her coat to block out the evening’s chill then struggled to find the other sleeve.

  Devon reached to help her, his hand brushing her neck. “Maybe she’s not just some girl. Maybe she’s the one he’s meant to be with.”

  She shot him an annoyed look. “He’s too young to know what true love is.”

  “We were his age when we first met.”

  “Exactly, and we were married within six months. I got pregnant. You dropped out of college. And look how we turned out.”

  “We didn’t do too badly. We have two great kids and we built a nice life together”—he shrugged then continued— “except, of course, for the separation.”

  “I don’t want Jacob to wake up at forty years old and have regrets. I want him to experience life.”

  He stopped walking and turned to look at her. “Do you have regrets about us?”

  She sighed. Was he really going to play that game? “Look how everything has turned out between us, Devon. How can I not have regrets?”

  The kids reached the River Walk and called back to them. Sandra hurried to catch up, joining them at the edge of the bluffs overlooking the Mississippi River. Devon didn’t join them until a few moments later.

  The majesty of the river amazed Sandra, reminding her why this body of water was called the mighty Mississippi. A riverboat was docked upstream, a replica of the ones that used to navigate these waters a hundred years ago. She breathed in the smell of the river. How many generations had watched this same water rush by from this bluff ? How much of history had unfolded on its banks?

  “We’re going to walk down to the docks,” Jacob said then rushed away with his sister following.

  “Be careful,” Sandra called after them.

  She glanced at Devon, who seemed deep in thought as he leaned against the guardrail, obviously pondering the same questions as she and soaking in the beauty of the river. Sandra walked toward a gazebo in the center of the park and then climbed its steps. The wood floor creaked beneath her feet, but the view of the river was much better from this perch. The floor creaked again, revealing another person stepping inside the gazebo.

  She turned to see Devon staring at her, his eyes blue rivers of their own, pouring himself into her. He reached out and caressed her face, his voice deep and husky when he spoke. “I don’t regret one moment of our life together,” he said. “Not one moment since the day we met. In fact, I would do it all over again, everything the same.”

  She pulled in a deep breath and closed her eyes, fighting against the flood of emotion that tore at her at his statement. Did he really mean that? Every moment since their first meeting was seared into her mind. She replayed every kiss, every smile, every heartfelt “I love you.” But then the last few years of their life together rushed back to her, reminding her that rosy memories have little to do with cold, hard reality.

  She stiffened her stance and locked eyes with him. “Does that include walking out on your family?”

  The night air chilled at her words, matching the intensity of her stare.

  Devon heaved a heavy sigh. He’d spent months trying to get past his own behavior and wondering how and why he could ever leave his family. He knew the truth. God had already convicted him of his behavior. He would make no excuses for how he behaved. He couldn’t take it back. All he could do was ask forgiveness and hope Sandra could find a way to forgive him.

  “No,” he answered her. “You’re right. That is one thing I wouldn’t do the same.” He walked to the edge of the gazebo and leaned against the railing as he stared out at the view. The sun was down but the sky still glowed in shades of orange and purple, reflecting off the water. He looked out at the water because it was warmer than her eyes. “If I could go back in time and change that, I would, but I can’t go back, Sandra. All I can do is ask your forgiveness and pray that you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

  Her eyes narrowed as a confused expression clouded her face. “You want me to forgive you for ending our marriage?”

  Hearing her say those words cut into his heart. He bit his tongue before harsh words fell from his mouth. His leaving had been more of a symptom of their marriage ending than the end of it. But God had convicted him that he’d given up too soon. Saying such things to Sandra, however, would only cause an argument.

  He chose his words carefully. “It doesn’t have to end, Sandra, not if you’ll give me another chance.”

  “Is that what you want? Another chance?”

  “Yes.” He moved toward her. “I shouldn’t have left. I know now it was a mistake to give up so soon. I’ve spent the past months crying out to God to show me a way to bridge this chasm between us. And now we’re here together tonight in this romantic setting. I think it’s God’s way of telling us we belong together. If you’ll agree, I promise I’ll work harder to make you happy.”

  His finger caressed her lips. He felt her give beneath his touch, and all the fight drained from her. Their lips touched, and life surged back into him. He could see the future again clearly, a future with her.

  She pulled away from his grasp. “No, stop. We’re talking about our marriage, not some job. It shouldn’t be work.”

  She marched off the gazebo and headed back toward town.

  His throat burned as she walked away. He’d done what he was supposed to do. He’d shouldered the blame without bringing up her role in sabotaging their relationship. Still, her heart hadn’t been moved.

  This wasn’t going to be easy.

  Sandra touched her lips as she walked back to her car. Her head was still spinning. Had that just really happened? Had Devon said he wanted to make their marriage work?

  She unlocked the car and slid into the driver’s seat, still trying to catch the breath he’d stolen with that kiss. How easily she could have fallen into his arms and stayed there forever.

  But one kiss didn’t change their circumstances, and a moment of regret from him didn’t guarantee he wouldn’t once again change his mind and leave. She was certain she couldn’t live through that kind of heartbreak again.

  She drove back toward Brandon Hall, her mind never far away from that kiss. How would she concentrate on anything else? And how would she be around Devon without becoming flustered by the memory? She couldn’t let the kids notice either. Cara—

  “Cara!”

  She’d forgotten all about her daughter, left her at the bluffs when she’d run from Devon.

  She hit the button on her car phone and dialed Cara’s cell number. No answer. She tried Jacob’s. Again, no answer. Finally, desperate, “Call Devon’s cell.”

  He answered after the first ring. />
  “Hey, Sandra.”

  “I cannot believe I did this, but I left without Cara. Can she ride back to Brandon Hall with you and Jacob?”

  “Don’t worry. I’ve got her. She’s already heading to the car with us. I told her you weren’t feeling well but didn’t want to disrupt their evening. They were fine with it.”

  Relief flooded her. Devon wouldn’t let anything happen to Cara. He’d always been good about looking out for the kids. And he’d covered for her with them. Heat rose to her face. But how could she have let a simple kiss cause her to forget her own daughter? She couldn’t let it happen again.

  She heard the amusement in his voice. “Glad to know my kiss can still affect you so much.”

  She gasped. “Am I on the speaker phone? Why would you say that in front of the kids?”

  “Don’t worry. We’re not to the car yet. They didn’t hear me.”

  “This is all some big joke to you, isn’t it?”

  “Not at all. I meant what I said. I want you back.”

  She sighed. She couldn’t get into this again, especially not on the telephone. “Just make sure the kids get back safely. Good night.”

  She made it back to Brandon Hall then walked up to her room, bypassing the rest of Devon’s family. She opened her purse and pulled out the divorce papers Paula had given her. Why hadn’t she presented them to him tonight? He’d given her the perfect opening to do so.

  She unfolded them and read the cause—irreconcilable differences. That summed up their marriage. It didn’t matter that her knees still went weak when he kissed her or that he mentioned wanting to reconcile. No matter what residual feelings they still had for one another, it didn’t change the fact that they hadn’t been able to make things work out between them. They still had all those irreconcilable differences standing in their way.

  She put away the papers. Better not to give him the wrong idea. They would all be better off if she just stayed away from Devon for the rest of the weekend.

  Chapter 6