Silenced

by Ekaterine Xia

  A look of distaste crossed his features, “A simple brew was all it took, my lovely. The witch gave it to me and said it would gift you legs as beautiful as the rest of you.” His eyes narrowed, his nostrils flared, and his brow furrowed. “It’s rather too bad I had to punish her for not doing it properly. She made some claim about fish breeding habits when I asked if you would be able to give me my heirs, but she’s just going to have to find a way to fix that.”

  A faint smile. “I didn’t examine you to make sure she wasn’t lying, of course. I am a king and a gentleman. I trust that she wouldn’t have dared lie to me about you fish maidens.” His tone dropped dangerously, “Did she?”

  I exhaled slowly so he couldn’t see my relief, lowering my head to my lap, where I twisted my hands. “The witch? No, I was hatched from an egg, as were all my siblings and those like us.”

  I was wondering if the witch’s omission was intentional or not, whether she willingly did his work, and now I had my answer. If she hadn’t meant to do it, she would have fixed it even after what he did to her. A shudder ran down my spine at the way he so casually mentioned punishing the witch, the cool disinterest in his tone telling me to be wary. He was the sort of man who would backhand a maid for spilling a bit of soup while serving, regardless of if he was the one who nudged her hand by accident or no.

  Revulsion spasmed across his face. “An egg? No matter. My heir shall be birthed properly.

  “It took me quite a bit of effort, but I finally found a witch who was able to tell me of your kind. It took a bit more persuasion than I expected, but it was worth it in the end.”

  “Worth it?” I repeated. “But I cannot be a true wife to you. I am not a true woman like this.” I forced the words out, although the untruths were bitter on my tongue.

  He lifted my chin and smiled, the smile a shark had before it bit a seal in two. “Hush, calm now, my sweet. Your voice isn’t as melodious when you’re upset.”

  I bit back a retort, instead lowered my eyes and allowed the hint of tears to surface in my voice. “But I will not be able to have your children. I would make a poor queen. What about your duty to your crown?”

  “The witch has been given a week to fix that, my darling. She will give you all a woman should have, or she will face my wrath.”

  All a woman should have? It took everything in me to keep my anger hidden. Calm. Calm. Camouflaged death like the giant octopi who laired in the deep.

  I forced myself to cover his hand with my own. “What will you do to her?” I reinforced the quiver and hesitation in my voice. “I wouldn’t want blood to taint our love.”

  “I will not maim her or kill her, for your sake, my love. I know what a soft heart you must have.” The smile on his face told me that he’d simply enjoy making her wish he would give her a clean death and I cursed the soft heart that had prompted me to save him in the first place.

  If I’d known, I’d have let him drown. With pleasure.

  “If she cannot produce a solution, I will simply find another witch. If nothing else, a king can have many women. I do not need babes by you. I would not want to risk your lovely form and ...” He trailed off, his gaze flickering to my lower body and I saw clearly the disdain in his eyes.

  I closed my eyes, hiding the relief. I had been dreading the worst, but it seemed I was granted a reprieve.

  “Will your people be able to accept me? I am an unknown washed up by the sea -- surely they must have better candidates for your queen’s throne than I.”

  He smiled even as his eyes narrowed. “I am the king and none may gainsay me. You are a daughter of the sea god, and they will accord you the proper respect.” He ran a hand down my hair, wrapping the strands around his fist to tug my head back, staring into my eyes with fanatic intensity. “No one with any eyes would mistake you for a commoner. This skin, silk soft and luminous as the finest silk, belongs only to a noblewoman. Your eyes are royal in color, not seen in any mere mortal and no serving wench would have hair as long as yours. No, they will only envy me my luck in being blessed by the sea god himself and count it auspicious for the country that we have been so fortunate.”

  No help there then, I supposed. Not that he was the sort to listen to advice or reason.

  He sat back, fumbled for something in his clothing, and drew out a golden chain. He crooked his finger, clearly intending for me to lean forward.

  I did so, even as instinct screamed out warning. I reminded myself I had no choice. I couldn’t allow him any hint that I might harbor even the slightest trace of rebellion.

  He fastened the chain around my throat, his finger tracing the line of it against my throat before his hand fell away. “Now then, not too tight, is it?”

  “No.” I said the word, but all that came out of my mouth was the barest whisper, not much more than a puff of air. Shock roared through me and I tried to pull power. Nothing. That which once flowed as easily as the sea currents hovered just out of reach.

  No. What did he do?

  “Now the only person who can hear your lovely voice is me.” His eyes were cold, cold as the deepest reaches of the sea for all his tender smiles. “I wouldn’t want you to catch another unsuspecting man in your siren’s wiles.”

  Braiding my fingers together to still their shaking, I smiled at him and said with the utmost sincerity, “I wouldn’t want that either.”

  One was quite enough to be the death of me. Two of him and I’d cut my own tongue out first.

  I should have fled when I woke. Despite the shards of pain that cut into me with every step. Despite my unfamiliarity with the world I found myself in. Despite being trapped into a human form, so much more vulnerable and helpless in the sea. Despite the guards at the door.

  Now he’d bound my voice as well and I was at his mercy. His too suspect mercy.

  The king stood and held out his hand, “Shall we try out your new legs?”

  There was an undercurrent of triumph in his tone that I didn’t trust, but I didn’t have any other choice but to comply, even as I imagined what would happen. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and allowed him to draw me to my feet.

  The second I put my full weight on my feet, excruciating pain shot up from my soles straight through my body, shards of pain lodging in my belly, my head, and my heart.

  I gasped, doubling over to dry retch once before my knees gave out and I collapsed to the ground in a messy heap of bruised dignity.

  The king crouched, his eyes avid upon mine. “It seems that the witch’s brew might not have worked as well as you’d like. Ah well. Everything has a price.” He was too calm, his demeanor telegraphing his foreknowledge, and it took all my self-restraint to not spit in his face. He knew, the mud-eel slime, he knew what being on my feet would do to me, and not only did he know, I would wager every last gem in my father’s treasury that he was the one who determined the price.

  “To see you...it’s worth all the pain...” I allowed my words to break, to obscure my true thoughts, to hide my rage in pain.

  One day I’d see him broken and humbled at my feet and I would make his pain and humiliation worth all of my agony today.

  He smoothed my hair back, “My lovely, lovely darling. You will make me the envy of every man alive.”

  Would I? Oh, would I? Death before dishonor. His death, not mine, of course. I’d tear his throat out with my too-human teeth if I had to.

  He rose to his feet, my hair trailing through his loose grip. “Rest, my lovely. You’ll need it. I will come see you tomorrow, perhaps, see how you fare on land. There is much that went undone while I went to fetch you.” Supreme self-satisfaction gave his expression an unholy cast. “Soon enough, you’ll have to be presented to court. I want you at your full glory then.”

  His fist tightened as he stepped away, long enough for a warning tug at my scalp, and then he was finally gone.

  Bravado failed me the moment the door closed behind him. As the battle-readiness ebbed away, I had to bite to down on my lower li
p to redirect the prickling in my eyes.

  No. No crying. They’d come out pearls and I couldn’t give him another reason to covet keeping me.

  I took a deep breath. Then another.

  It took eighteen before I managed to push back the tears and find enough peace in my mind for another attempt at the problem.

  Voice silenced. Brought to a foreign element and bound with pain and guards if not outright pain. At the mercy of a man who clearly had none. A rich, powerful man who had an unknown witch under his command. Trapped tides knew how far from the ocean and my family. Kept in a place where my kin would find it difficult to reach.

  A rushing roar built in my ears and my head spun, my breaths coming far too fast and shallow.

  I forced myself to some semblance of calm again.

  That was all against me, but I had more powers arrayed for me.

  The King had a charm against my magic, but I would wager he didn’t have one for every one of his men. Foolish little man, he’d been so pleased when he’d set the necklace around my throat, so very eager to show me that he could take away what he feared most, but little did he know that my voice was the least of what I could do. I could still charm and beguile, could still soften hearts, even ones that belonged to another.

  There was the strange girl Kateri.

  If she’d managed to make it to the sea, then my brothers couldn’t be too far behind. No matter how far inland I was, they would be no more than a day or two away, perhaps a quarter of a moon if they were bringing their men with them.

  The land dweller king had called me a daughter of the sea god but it was clear from the arrogance in his eyes that he didn’t believe it. I would take much joy in making sure he understood just what it meant to bear a dragon king’s daughter away unwillingly and threaten her with rape.

  Even if she hadn’t, water herself would bear the news home. It would take longer, perhaps two quarters of a moon for the water leaving my body to return to the sea, but aid would come a moon later at the latest. Charming a powerless land dweller to hold me precious for a moon? Child’s play, particularly with the witch’s help. There was only so much of me he could tear away in the interim.

  And whatever magic he’d bound me with, it was witch’s magic, which meant eventually I’d be free regardless. If worst came to worst, I could survive whatever he threw at me and eventually, eventually my body would consume the magic used to bind me and then he’d know the true meaning of regret.

  A knock came, a moment passed, and then the door swung open.

  The girl from before, Kateri, poked her head in. She looked different. Instead of the simple diaphanous gown, she wore a dark dress, with a mud-hued apron that covered her from chest to knee. Her hair was bound into a single braid and tied in place with a simple rag.

  Relief spread over her face and she sidled in, kicking the door shut behind her. A large basket hung from one arm and she set it down before hurrying over to me.

  “The strange old lady said that you’d be here and that you were finally awake, but we weren’t sure if she was trustworthy because someone put the spell on you to help that horrible creep mernap you so it’s really good that you’re here and look mostly okay? She said you’d just woken up, which is kind of bad because we’ve already been in the city for a day and we started out after you left. At least you’re breathing normally now, which is good because breathing is good, right?”

  Mernap?

  Who was this girl?

  I slapped one of the pillows beside me when I opened my mouth and barely anything came out. The bottom-feeder not only took away my voice, but the spell kept me from even whispering to anyone else but him.

  Kateri blinked at me, her mouth twisting into a frown. “Shit. So this part of the Little Mermaid story is getting played out. I guess that means it probably hurts for you to walk too, right?”

  I narrowed my eyes at her.

  Her brow furrowed. “Oh, that’s not good. That makes escape and rescue that much harder. We’d have to somehow get Eldest or Xin up here and I think that’s gonna set off more alarms than me walking around in a maid’s outfit. We were hoping we wouldn’t have to wait for the cavalry to get here, but it looks like that might be the only route.”

  Cavalry? I didn’t understand what she meant, but no matter. Xin? Xin was here?

  She nodded. “Yeah, of course, Xin’s here. You didn’t think there was any chance of him staying behind, did you? Besides, he’s how we found you so fast. He got your king-father to do some sort of spell on him so he could track your mind or something and the rest of us have been following him like some magical form of gee pee ess or something. Dowsing rod? Meh. You wouldn’t know about those either.”

  Kateri went back to the basket and lugged it over to the bed.

  “Good thing that old lady gave me a tray. I wouldn’t want to make you walk over to that little table and back.”

  The land dweller girl pulled out a piece of wood first and fiddled with it until it stood on its own over my thighs. Then she brought out a bowl of sea grass soup in a tall barrel-like cup. Cubes of dried and salted fish bobbed in the broth and tangled with wisps of egg. The sharp notes of a land herb pricked my nose and made my mouth water. Scallion, I thought.

  Then she brought out steamed egg in a lidded cup, redolent with the fragrance of shrimp and shellfish, thin slices of fish spread over the surface, cooked to tender perfection.

  “The old lady said to tell you that this was all made with sea water and is safe for you to eat. The king’s food will not hurt you, but you might have indigestion.” Her tone dropped, the almost breathtaking speed slowing as she forced out her next words. “She said to be patient, that all will be well.”

  I patted her hand. She was a sweet girl and meant well, even if she was very strange and likely not of our world.

  “Either way, Xin and I are here in the city and I’m supposed to be bringing your food, so I’ll keep an eye on you and what’s going on. Let me know if things get too bad, okay?” Her face crumpled into agonized folds and I patted her hand again.

  She sniffed and took a deep breath. “Yeah, no, I’m not going to make you comfort me cuz that’s just fucked up. Anyway. I gotta go. The guards at the door told me to just bring this in and leave it. Someone else will take the stuff away when you’re done. Just remember, we’re here for you, okay? Your family is coming with a whole entire army too, it’s just going to take them a bit longer.”

  Insistent, almost chiding thumps came at the door.

  “Coming!” she called.

  Kateri scrambled to her feet, pulled out a small box, and slapped it on the piece of wood.

  “That’s chocolate. I thought you might like it and I asked to make sure it’s not poisonous to you or anything. Anyway, I gotta go. I’ll hopefully see you soon, but either way, know that we’re working on the problem.”

  Another loud thump.

  “Sorry, sorry,” she said, hurrying to the door. “I’m sorry, I just wanted to explain what the food was because I heard that she’s not from this kingdom and --”

  The door slid shut with a solid sound, cutting her off, and I breathed out a slow breath. The room seemed so much emptier with her gone, even if I didn’t understand some of her babble.

  Hopefully the guards wouldn’t trouble her for tarrying.

  I picked up the mug and sipped at the soup. It was still warm, and the scents and taste wrapped me in the sea and fed my power. I forced my shoulders to relax and shook my hands to release the tension.

  Xin was here.

  Xin and the strange sweet girl and my family were coming. I could be patient. I would conserve my strength, play the dance, and then when he was least expecting it, I would have my revenge.

  song and rhyme

  The oddly shaped room was eerily silent after the girl’s chatter. The longest wall curved and was built with stone, large square blocks of golden-veined white. The shorter walls and the door were made of the same golden wood, a color c
lose to the sky at sunset. In contrast, the floor was a study in pale wooden geometric shapes, carefully fit together to form a pattern that seemed to waver at the corners of my eyes. Three long narrow windows slashed through the curved wall, deep pockets of shadow.

  I slid from the bed onto my knees. Strange things, those, knobbly, inflexible, and far too sensitive to the hard floor. I thanked the tides though, because there was no pain when I moved on them. Some pressure, a bit of chafing, but nothing unbearable.

  There was a chaise near the windows. Laughable, since the windows were shuttered tight. There was also a small round table with two chairs beside the chaise, presumably where I was intended to dine.

  A curtained alcove in one corner held a strange wooden chair with a hole in the seat and a barrel of water with a dipper. I frowned. Was it? Oh Moon Mother, it was. One of those garderobe things.

  I shuddered. A shelf above the wooden chair held a small box with neatly folded bits of fabric. Surely not? But of course it had to be. Two-leggers were notoriously prone to soiling themselves and it made sense they’d need a method of cleaning themselves.

  I backed away from the alcove with some consternation. Would this witch-given new shape require elimination the way two-leggers did?

  Another shudder trailed down my spine and I moved back to the bed, pulling myself up with effort.

  Pfah. I’d shuck that clam when it came time. For now, I had to collect myself, heal what I could, and bury what I couldn’t. What was it the girl said about Xin? That he had a bond with me that helped them find me? If it was what I thought it was, then I had to soothe myself not only for my sake, but for his. I couldn’t imagine the torment of having an open window into someone else’s mind, with no control, no way to effect anything, and completely lost with regards to context.

  I’d heard land-dweller poetry lauding the beauty of being able to hear into a beloved’s mind. Never did they consider the burden and trials bound within. So much worse when it only went in one direction.

  Those who chose to bind their minds this way went one of three ways. The adaptable learned to quiet and shield their thoughts from each other. The wise broke the bond and spoke to each other instead. The eminently foolish clung on and very loudly and publicly lost their composure, grace, and tempers, in that precise order. The very determined sometimes lost their minds instead.