The President's Wife Is on Prozac

by Jayne Lind

  “Oh, yes I can,” she interrupted, incredulous at his nonchalant manner.

  There was silence for a moment, and then in a staccato voice he said, “We’re professionals and we have to continue to work together so you’d better straighten up and act like one.”

  Act like one! Taylor couldn’t believe what he just said. After a long pause, she answered in a steely tone, “I will see you in your office and only there.”

  “Sixteen hundred.” He slammed down the phone.

  Sixteen hundred, four o’clock, far too soon for her to face him again. Taylor felt she was locked in this cage as surely as was Beth. And now she wasn’t all that sure Beth was safe from her husband. Yes, the secret service guards the outer perimeter of the White House and the interior as well. But they are not in the room with someone they are protecting. If Sam became violent with Beth, she could be injured or even dead in a matter of seconds.

  When Frank opened the door to his office, he seemed like a different man than the one Taylor had last seen. Dressed in his military uniform, there was no smile, no visual appraisal of her, nothing but level, businesslike behavior. Coffee was not offered this time, just a gesture toward a chair.

  “I spoke to the President this morning,” Frank began, “I broached the subject of his health, as a starting point, and he said he was fine, never better, that kind of thing. Then I asked about his drinking and he became very angry, very quickly.”

  Taylor hadn’t said a word since she came into the room. She was nervous and didn’t like fact that the door had to be closed. “I’m not surprised,” she began, but Frank went on. He wasn’t really looking at her; his gaze was about a half inch away from her face toward the window.

  “I was just glad he didn’t walk out. He did stand up and let out a few oaths, but then he sat back down and what he said surprised me. He said he knew he was drinking too much, but that no one understood how much pressure he was under. And, of course, I agreed with him, tried to sound sympathetic. I phrased the whole thing in a way that I was only concerned about his health, not his ability to govern.”

  “So?” Taylor asked, feeling impatient, impatient to be gone from this room with this man.

  “So he said he would watch it and try to cut down. I gave him a mini-lecture on how alcohol tolerance builds up in anyone and that actually, all of us have the potential to become an alcoholic. He seemed to take all that in, one never knows with him. I would love to know if his father or mother, for that matter, had a drinking problem. Could you ask Mrs. Carlson?”

  “Yes, of course.” Taylor was beginning to feel a bit more at ease. This man must have the ability to completely compartmentalize his emotions. There was not even a tiny hint of what happened in his flat; he was pure business. “You didn’t mention the incident of his hitting someone?” Taylor asked.

  Frank stood up as he said, “No, I thought that was enough criticism for him to take in one session, but I do need to address that. “That’s all for today,” he said brusquely. Then “Oh, by the way, your coat is there on the rack.”

  Taylor stood up as well and took her coat as he opened the door for her. Neither of them said goodbye.

  She had barely shut the door to her room when a knock on the door surprised her, since it was too early for dinner to be delivered. It was Susan. “Come in,” Taylor said, in a welcoming voice, but actually this worried her. Why was she here?

  Susan smiled and remained standing after Taylor shut the door. “I don’t have much time; I want you to go with me somewhere. It’s to meet Josh.”

  To meet Josh! Did she mean it? “Is he here?” Taylor was unable to hide her delight.

  “Yes,” Susan replied, “and it’s cold out there, so wrap up warmly. We need to hurry.”

  Taylor nodded numbly and went to the closet to get her warmest coat. “I don’t have time to fix my face?” she asked.

  Susan smiled again and shook her head, “No. I understand, but we really do have to hurry.”

  Susan drove and there was no other secret service person in the car. They left the White House through the northwest gate and drove very fast. Taylor’s sense of expectation was overwhelming.

  She was to see Josh again at last. Actually, it hadn’t been that long, two months, but it seemed much longer. “Do you have any information about why he’s here?” Taylor asked.

  “No, sorry, I’m just the messenger,” Susan said, laughing.

  They drove for half an hour through horrific traffic. It was close to five o’clock and they were in the thick of the rush hour. Then suddenly Susan pulled off the motorway into the car park of a shopping mall. It was only about half-full. She drove down a row of cars and stopped as a car blinked its lights at them.

  Josh got out of his car and opened the door for Taylor. He had on a black woolen overcoat and looked even more handsome than she’d remembered. He was smiling broadly and without a word, took her arm and steered her to the car. He opened the passenger side for her and got in the driver’s side, blinked the lights to Susan and she sped away.

  “Josh...” Taylor began, but didn’t finish because he took her in his arms and kissed her for a very long time. As they finally pulled back, he said, with a very serious look on his face, “Taylor…..I….I think it’s pretty evident….I’m in love with you.” She just smiled. She couldn’t say anything, but the look on her face must have said it, because once more they were kissing. Finally, Josh drew back. “You must be cold, let’s go in and find a coffee shop.”

  As they walked to the mall, Josh held her hand and she felt as if she was in a dream, a very good one. She was with him, actually with him, and he had just told her he was in love with her. “How long do you have?” she asked.

  “Not long,” Josh said, squeezing her hand as he looked over at her. “This is totally illegal, you know.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, I’m going against orders,” he answered. “Well, not exactly against orders, but let’s say, without permission. I volunteered to come here for another reason and Susan was kind enough to help me out.”

  They were inside the mall by this time and didn’t have to go far before they saw a Starbucks. Josh steered Taylor to a table in the back. No one was near and she sat on the sofa while he went to get their coffee. When he came back, he sat next to her as close as possible, holding her hand.

  “I won’t say your name whilst we’re in here. Are you all right? I’m worried about you….”

  Taylor nodded, “Well, I’m certainly all right now, now that you’re here. It’s really a scary place where I’m living—lots happening.”

  “Can you tell me?” Josh asked with a frown. “I mean, if it’s in the national interest, or world interest, for that matter. What’s going on?”

  Taylor hesitated. Was this why he wanted to see her? Because he wanted to pump her for information? And should she tell him? After all, the President hadn’t murdered anyone—not yet, anyway. She never took her eyes off his face. “I can’t tell you how relieved I am to see you. I thought it would be a long time from now, if ever.” She searched his face, remembering Susan’s words, ‘he has a reputation.’ “Josh, are you really in love with me?” Men in her past had said they loved her, but then didn’t stick around.

  Josh pulled her even closer to him. “Oh, Taylor, yes, darling, yes. Absolutely yes. I thought I was back on the plane, the first time we were together, but I knew I couldn’t tell you then, I didn’t think you would believe me and besides, I was supposed to be working.” He smiled and brushed his lips on her cheek. “I thought at first that it was just attraction, I felt so drawn to you almost immediately. But through the emails, as I’ve come to know you, I just feel…I don’t know, I just feel so overwhelmingly in love with you. I can’t tell you how excited I was on the way here, knowing I was actually going to be with you, actually going to be able to kiss you.” With that, he k
issed her lightly on the lips.

  Taylor hadn’t reciprocated; she hadn’t told him that she was in love with him. “We don’t have long,” Josh warned her, “so I want you to tell me anything you

  need to tell me now, whatever you can’t say in your emails.”

  Taylor didn’t want to talk about business; she just wanted to talk about them, about their relationship. “I don’t know how much I can tell you, but obviously Frank broke confidentiality when he contacted your agency for help finding me. The First Lady is doing better; she’s not the one I’m worried about.”

  Josh looked at her quizzically, “Oh, is it him?”

  Taylor nodded, “Yes. He’s acting very strange and drinking a great deal.”

  “Is he incapable of remaining in his job?” Josh asked quietly, however, his voice sounded alarmed. There was no one near them, but it was very quiet. No background music was playing and they were speaking in hushed tones. She pulled back from him for a moment before she said, “It may get to that point. But I have another problem.” Should she tell him what happened with Frank? She wrestled with it in her mind for a few seconds. Josh was looking at her expectantly. “It’s Frank.”

  “Yes?” Josh asked, concern written on his face.

  The whole story came tumbling out, about how lonely she was, about the dinner, about how wonderful it had seemed, doing something simple like eating a meal with someone. And then the rest.

  Josh’s mouth contorted in a furious scowl. “That bastard!” he said, none too quietly. He put his arm around her again and held her close. Neither of them had touched their coffee. “Oh, darling, I wish I could take you home with me, not that I really have a home. I wish I could get you out of this situation. Are you worried about it happening again?”

  “No,” Taylor said adamantly. “I certainly will never go to his apartment again, but I can envision a scenario where I need to be alone with him in his office. That’s the thing, Josh, that’s one reason I worry about my client so much. No one can protect her when she’s in the privacy of their bedroom. He could have a psychotic break and ser- iously harm her.”

  “And you feel you can’t warn anyone, get her to a women’s shelter, like you would a regular client.”

  She nodded. “That’s right and I feel as trapped as she does.”

  Josh pulled away for a moment and took a sip of his coffee. “You know, I never expected any of this to occur. I warned you on the plane that this would be more difficult than you imagined, but I didn’t know I was going to fall in love with you, and I didn’t have any clue that all this was going to happen.” He sighed and kissed her on the forehead. “I’m sorry I had a hand in getting you into all this…”

  Taylor felt totally enveloped in the warmth of his love and realized in that moment that she had never been in love before. She certainly thought she had, but not like this. She turned so she could look him full in the face, “Josh, I want you to know, I love you….” She was going to say much more, but at that, his lips were on hers and it didn’t seem to matter if anyone was looking or not.

  “Oh, darling, I thought you were, I thought I could read that into your emails, but I wasn’t sure.” He laughed softly, “Isn’t this fun? Sitting here snogging like teenagers?”

  They were in the back, where the counter and staff people couldn’t see them. Taylor assumed that someone, somewhere was protecting them, but she didn’t see anyone and she didn’t care. Knowing that time was short and not knowing when she would see him again made her feel they were in a little cocoon, shielded from the world.

  Josh switched back to business mode. “Now, tell me what you can about your client’s husband. Is national security challenged?”

  “It may be. I really don’t think I have any role in this in terms of what will happen, that’s up to Frank and anyone else he calls in. What I’m worried about is her. I want to get her out of the residence. I’m worried about her safety.”

  Josh nodded with a grim look on his face. “I need to consult with my superiors on this. It’s gone way beyond what we originally were asked to do, to bring you here. And someone, hopefully, not me, has to consult with Frank.” He drew her even closer. “But thank God you’re there to help her.”

  “Yes, but Josh, I can’t protect her. That’s what is driving me crazy. After what happened with Frank, when I was being escorted and protected, still no one was in that room. No one could have prevented what might have happened with him. It’s the same with her. She’s not safe inside her bedroom.”

  “Can you talk her into going away, on a trip?” he asked.

  “I can try. I will try. When…..”

  “Will I see you again?” Josh said, stroking her hair with one hand. “I don’t know. I don’t get over here that often, most of my work is overseas. This was just lucky and I didn’t even know if I could pull this off, get to see you. But hopefully, you’ll be back home soon.”

  Taylor shook her head, “I don’t think so, unless things come to a peak quickly. I can’t walk away from this, no matter how much I want to.” She didn’t like hearing this might be the only time, she wanted to see him all the time, be with him all the time.

  Josh looked at his watch and grimaced. “Ten minutes is all the time I have left. And I need to tell you that the secret service knows who was in your room and who was following you in the park. As we all thought, it’s a reporter. He didn’t come into your room, but he has a cousin, or some relative anyway, who works as a cleaner in the White House. We now think she probably took the job just in order to leak tidbits of gossip to him, but this turned out to be a much bigger story than either of them could have dreamt. They’re both in custody.”

  “So from the beginning, when I first arrived, was this woman snooping in my room?” Taylor asked, feeling even more spooked than before.

  “We don’t know yet. We don’t even know if these two know your true identity. But they’re being questioned and hopefully, we soon will learn how much they know.”

  “So in some ways, I’m safer than before?” she asked. Josh was holding one hand and had his arm around her shoulder. She snuggled down into the softness of his woolen overcoat.

  “You’ve always been safe, but you mean inside your room? Yes, no one will be coming in now. There’s something else you need to know. There have been two occa- sions when the…I mean your client’s husband, has been close to discovering you. The secret service is wonderfully tight lipped in terms of whom or why they’re protecting someone. They have no idea who you are or why you’re there, but they do know that their boss is not supposed to know. They tell me there have been a few times when they’ve sweated over close calls.”

  That was a frightening thought and she wished there was time for the details. “Oh, Josh, I will be so happy to be gone from there; the isolation of being alone in my rooms, not really being able to talk to anyone but you, and the constant fear of someone who isn’t supposed to know I’m there has been awful.”

  Josh nodded, “I know, or I guess I know, no one but you can really understand how hard it’s been. Let’s go back to the car. I really don’t have many minutes left.” He helped her bundle on her coat and they walked quickly out of the shop, out of the mall, and toward the car. It was snowing heavily now and a sideways wind whipped the flakes in their face. When they were in the car, Josh turned on the engine and the heater. He started to take her in his arms once again, but Taylor pulled back.

  “Josh, is this for real?” she asked, searching his face. “I mean, how do I know you really are in love with me?”

  He took her in his arms, holding her as tightly as was possible with the gear shift between them. “Oh, darling, I’ve lived such a weird life, never long in one place, meeting countless people, men and women, all over the world. I’ve been attracted to lots of women, and I’ve had a few flings, of course I have, but I feel differently about you—you have so much dept
h. I know that doesn’t sound very flattering, I mean, I knew you well before I ever met you, from reading the data we had about you. I was very curious to meet you. And then, on the plane, I felt very tender towards you. You were obviously so apprehensive and vulnerable, and I....I just wanted to take care of you. And then through the emails, as we’ve come to know each other, I just knew, I can’t explain it. I just knew I was in love with you, but I held back, I didn’t want to frighten you away.” He kissed her again and as they drew away, reluctantly, he said “We may have to wait a long time before we can have a proper relationship, but all I know is that since I met you, I haven’t been interested in anyone else. And that’s new for me.”

  Taylor nestled her head against his shoulder. She didn’t want him to ever leave. She wanted to stay right here, but his words reassured her.

  Josh’s phone rang. “Yes?” he answered. Then another yes to whoever called him and Taylor knew it meant she had to go. Before he could say anything else, the car that brought Taylor there pulled up in front of his.

  “I have to hurry,” he said and kissed her for a very long time, not seeming to mind that Susan was probably watching. “Remember, when everything gets so tough you can’t stand it, remember that I love you, darling. Take care of yourself.”

  Taylor didn’t say anything. She just looked at him helplessly as he got out of the car and opened her door. He rushed her into Susan’s car and then he was gone. She didn’t think he could have driven off that fast, but Susan sped away quickly as well.

  Susan was silent, for which Taylor was grateful. She wanted to relive every moment with Josh; she didn’t want the feeling of his lips and his hands to go away. She wanted to treasure, store up all of it so that when she was so lonely she couldn’t stand it, she could pull the memory out and once more experience it.

  Back in her bedroom, she snuggled under the duvet after putting on her pajamas and replayed the video in her head of every word spoken, every touch, and every look on his face. Yes, she was deeply in love and deeply loved. And she knew that even though she’d had several romances, more than she’d like to count, even though she had several times thought she was in love, she now knew the difference and knew that really, for the very first time in her life, she was loved by someone.