Paradise Syndrome

by Louise Hall

  Cate had been concerned about how Lola and Mateo would cope with such a long flight but they’d both slept for most of the journey. They’d booked an extra seat for Mateo but even though he was tired and cranky, he wouldn’t go to sleep unless he was snuggled up with Cate. Fortunately, the seats were roomy enough to accommodate them both.

  Cate had the aisle seat while Lola was next to her by the window. She’d kept the screen between the two seats open but after the meal had been served; Lola had fallen asleep almost straight away, snuggled up under the lovely, quilted blanket.

  Jean had the seat on the opposite side of the aisle to Cate. When she’d woken up halfway through the flight and realised that Cate was still awake, she’d kindly asked if she wanted to swap seats for a while. Cate had shaken her head – it wasn’t physical discomfort that was keeping her wide awake. There was a loud cacophony of voices inside her head questioning whether she was doing the right thing. They weren’t just flying to Seattle for a holiday; she and the children were moving there permanently.

  Cate sat down again and settled Mateo on her knee. He amused himself playing with her braid.

  While she’d been gone, they’d raised the window blinds and Lola was looking intently out of the window. “Can you see anything yet?” Cate asked.

  “Just clouds,” Lola grumbled, not looking at Cate. She wasn’t happy that they were moving so far away.

  Cate knew just how she felt. Kian was a professional footballer and until last year, she’d thought that he would stay with Manchester Rovers for the rest of his career and that they would bring up their children in the Cheshire countryside, close to both of their families.

  Then last September, the club had gone into administration. It had seemed unfathomable, considering the season before they’d been playing against the likes of Real Madrid in the Champions League but they were immediately handed a thirteen-point deduction which had left them rock bottom of the Premier League. The auditors found widespread financial irregularities and several of the club directors were facing jail time.

  In December, the administrators had announced that every single member of the first team squad would be put up for sale in the January transfer window. It was devastating; Rovers had always felt more like a close-knit family than just a football club. Their friend, Matteo Di Vela was the first to be sold; he went back home to Italy to play for AC Milan. Kian’s brother-in-law was next; Fabrizio was sold to their local rivals, Manchester United.

  Cate and Kian had talked about it at length – he’d been adamant that he didn’t want to play for another Premier League team. He couldn’t imagine running out at the Rovers Stadium as an opposition player. He’d thought about retiring – he’d earned enough over the years and had been sensible with his investments but physically he wasn’t there yet.

  When Stephen Locke had first approached him, Kian had listened to him out of respect because he’d been Kian’s first captain at Rovers. Steve had moved to the MLS after his marriage to Kelly had broken down and he was now first-team coach at Seattle F.C.

  Kian had always assumed that players who left the Premier League for the MLS were coming to the end of their professional careers and were looking for that last big contract. But after his initial conversation with Steve, he’d felt a fresh burst of enthusiasm.

  He hadn’t realised until that phone call just how jaded he’d become with the Premier League. It was getting more and more difficult for teams like Manchester Rovers to compete with all the foreign investment that was pouring into England’s top league.

  The enthusiasm had only increased the more he’d found out about Seattle F.C.

  He’d flown to Seattle just before Christmas for a meeting with the club’s owners and he’d been very impressed with the set-up of the franchise; they shared a stadium and a lot of personnel with the city’s NFL team. They had a strong fan base, regularly drawing crowds of over 40,000, which was almost unheard of in the MLS.

  The next morning, before his evening flight back to London, Kian had walked around the city and he’d easily been able to imagine Cate and the children living there.

  They’d eventually agreed that Kian would move out to Seattle at the end of January and Cate and the children would stay in England until the end of the school year in mid-July.

  However, they were actually going to be arriving in Seattle a few weeks earlier than planned because Lola’s school had been flooded. The damage to the buildings was so severe that they wouldn’t be able to reopen again before the summer holidays were due to start.

  CHAPTER 2

  Kian sipped his freshly-brewed coffee and looked out across Puget Sound. The house he’d chosen for them backed directly on to the rippling waters of the Sound.

  An aeroplane trailed across the clear-blue sky. Cate, his mum and the children should be arriving at the house any minute. Cate had texted him an hour ago when they’d landed at Sea-Tac. Initially he’d wanted to meet them at the airport but Cate had been concerned that the excitement of a noisy, public reunion would be too much for Mateo after such a long flight and so he’d reluctantly booked a town car to collect them instead.

  He’d e-mailed Cate photos of the house but he was still anxious that she like it. It was in a small, gated community, which would give him comfort that his family would be safe when he had to travel for away games. He’d been too busy with football commitments to meet any of the neighbours yet but the real estate agent had assured him that there were already families with young children living nearby.

  He looked around at the spacious living area and open-plan kitchen. It was spotless thanks to the cleaner who’d just left. But did it look too much like a show home? Kian walked across to the sofa and adjusted the cushions a little.

  The separation had been tough. They’d talked every night on Skype but it wasn’t the same. He’d almost got used to waking up every morning to an ice-cold shower instead of his wife’s warm, pliant body. Kian felt his masculine reaction throb against the zipper of his jeans. Tonight, he would make love to his wife for the first time in five months.

  He looked at his watch again, surprised that only a couple of minutes had passed since he’d last checked. He was impatient for them to arrive.

  He looked at the presents he’d bought for Lola and Mateo, which were stacked up on the reclaimed wooden coffee table in the lounge. Logically, he knew that it would have been irresponsible to move them out here halfway through the school year but it didn’t mean that he hadn’t felt acutely every single one of those 4,619 miles (yes he’d checked) between Manchester and Seattle.

  After the trauma of Lola’s birth, when there was a possibility that he could have lost both his wife and daughter, he’d made a vow that he was going to be the best dad he could possibly be. Regardless of the time difference, he’d talked to Lola and Mateo every day on Skype. Cate had sent him video clips of Lola’s football matches and he’d recorded himself reading Mateo’s favourite books so even though he couldn’t be there in person, he could still read his son his bedtime story.

  When he hadn’t been training or playing matches, Kian had tried to escape the loneliness of the big, empty house by spending hours exploring his new city. It was nice not to be recognised as much; he could do normal things like grab a cup of coffee at Starbucks. Seattle was going to be a fresh start for all of them. He was looking forward to being able to do even simple things like walk around the supermarket with Cate and the children without constantly being pestered for autographs and selfies.

  Kian heard a car pull up at the front of the house. He walked across the polished wooden floors to the front door, his heart slamming into his ribcage.

  Lola was the first to get out of the car and Kian was stunned by how much his little girl had grown up in just those few short months. She was wearing a navy-blue and white striped t-shirt, jeans and black and white Converse trainers. He recognised the navy-blue Manchester Rovers bracelet on her wrist. She pushed a strand of inky-black hair, which had fallen
loose from her ponytail, behind her ear and he saw a twinkle of gold; she’d had her ears pierced since he’d last seen her.

  “Hey baby girl,” Kian opened his arms wide. It seemed like only yesterday that as soon as he got home from training, she would come running towards him chattering a mile a minute. She was far too cool for that now.

  Lola frowned, “I’m not a baby, Dad.”

  “Come here,” he pulled her into his arms, “you’ll always be my baby girl, Lo.”

  His mum, Jean was next. “I like the long hair,” she smiled. His black hair was now long enough to tie back in a ponytail.

  Jean lifted Mateo up off the backseat and set him down on the ground. She knelt down and whispered in the little boy’s ear.

  Mateo let go of her hand and toddled, a little unsteadily, towards Kian.

  Kian was hit with a sucker punch of pride and regret. How much had he missed?

  “How long has he been walking?” Kian asked his mum, his voice a little croaky.

  “Not long,” Jean tried to reassure him. “You’re here now, that’s what matters.”

  Mateo lifted up his arms, “Dada, up!”

  Kian scooped him up. He’d grown so big. He couldn’t believe his little boy was already walking.

  Cate fidgeted on the backseat, listening to the conversation outside the car. She quickly gathered her khaki jacket in front of her. She’d dressed in loose layers, hoping that Kian wouldn’t notice her bump until they were alone and could talk properly.

  With his children filling his arms, Kian watched his wife climb out of the car. “Hi,” she said softly. Their eyes met for a second and then she quickly looked down at the ground. Kian was immediately suspicious. He handed Mateo to his mum and reached for Cate. Kissing her cheek, he felt like he’d been wandering through the desert for the past five months, dying of thirst, and she was his oasis. He breathed in the scent of her shampoo. “I’ve missed you,” he said huskily.

  Cate pulled back, keeping her bulky carry-on bag between them. “I’ve missed you too.”

  There was something she wasn’t telling him. She looked pale. “Are you OK?” Kian asked quietly, not wanting to frighten the children.

  Cate looked across at Jean. Kian felt the hairs on the back of his neck prick up. There was definitely something going on.

  Jean took his hand, “the house looks beautiful. Why don’t you give us the grand tour?”

  As they walked through the front door, Cate turned her back on Kian, put her bag down at the side and picked up Mateo.

  “This is for you,” Kian picked up the large box from the coffee table and handed it to Lola.

  “What is it?” Lola narrowed her eyes.

  “Lola!” Cate admonished. “That was rude.”

  Lola chewed on her bottom lip, “I’m sorry, Dad.”

  “It’s OK. It’s a belated birthday present,” Kian explained. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there, Lo.” He’d been supposed to fly back to Manchester for Lola’s seventh birthday but because of industrial action at several UK airports, all flights from Seattle to London had been cancelled.

  Lola sat down on the squashy, l-shaped sofa and tore through the gift-wrap. “What is it, sweetheart?” Cate asked, settling Mateo on her knee. He was tightly gripping the toy ferry boat Kian had just given him.

  “It’s an iPad,” Lola was shocked. “I thought you said I was too young…”

  Kian kissed the top of his daughter’s head, “I know you’re going to miss everybody back home in Manchester but at least with this, you can still keep in touch with them.”

  After Kian had given them a tour of the house, they ended up back downstairs in the kitchen.

  “Why don’t we go for a little walk?” Jean suggested, taking Mateo from Cate. “I don’t know about you two but I could do with some fresh air after being cooped up on that aeroplane for so long.”

  “Mum,” Lola pouted, “you said I could e-mail Noah when we got here?”

  Like Kian, his ex-Rovers team-mate, Yoakey had decided against looking for another club in the Premier League and had accepted an offer to play in Melbourne. Noah, Yoakey’s son, was one of Lola’s best friends. “You can e-mail him when you come back,” Cate said, “he’s probably still asleep.”

  “He’s not,” Lola said. “Melbourne is seventeen hours ahead so it’s ten am there.”

  Cate frowned; sometimes she wished her daughter wasn’t such a smarty-pants. “OK, you can e-mail him when you get back from your walk; it’ll be nearly lunchtime by then.”

  Lola grumbled, “you just want to be alone with Dad so you can make kissy faces again.”

  “Come on,” Jean said to her granddaughter. “Let’s go.”

  “I’ll go,” Lola folded her arms across her chest, “but I’m not going to enjoy it.”

  As soon as the back door closed, Cate turned her back on Kian. “Ugh, your mum is an absolute godsend. I need a shower and then I’d better make a start unpacking.”

  She should have been bursting with excitement to tell Kian her news but now that they were finally alone, the words wouldn’t make that final leap off her tongue. He was her husband but they’d been apart for so long that he felt like a stranger. It didn’t help that he looked different. He’d tied his black hair back in a short ponytail.

  When she got to the top of the stairs, she was faced with rows of identical doors. “Which one’s ours again?” Cate asked in a small voice. It didn’t feel like home yet, the house or the city. She knew she was being ridiculous, that she’d only been there for a couple of hours but all she really wanted to do was go straight back to the airport and catch the first flight back home to England where at least she knew which door led to her bedroom.

  Cate felt a pang of sadness as she realised that the house she was thinking of wasn’t really theirs anymore. They’d thought about selling it when the move to Seattle was finalised but then Kian’s sister, Sinead and her husband, Fabrizio had a violent break-in at their home in Alderley Edge. Sinead had been on her own with their daughter, Amelie when the burglars struck. They’d taken advantage of the fact that Fabrizio was away in Kiev for a Champions League match. They’d tied Sinead and Amelie up in the kitchen while they’d rampaged through the house.

  Afterwards, Sinead had refused to go back there and so she and Fabrizio were renting Cate and Kian’s house – which was outside the so-called Golden Triangle of Wilmslow, Alderley Edge and Prestbury favoured by so many professional footballers and had the added comfort and security of Cate’s brother, Ben, living just across the courtyard – while they looked for somewhere else.

  “Cate,” Kian caught her by the hips as she tried to dash into the bathroom. “Stop.”

  “Kian,” Cate pleaded, “I need a shower.”

  They were stood in front of the French windows which looked out across Puget Sound. “Look.”

  Cate felt the first of the strings tying her to her home, to Manchester, fall away. It was breathtakingly beautiful; the photos Kian had e-mailed her really hadn’t done it justice. She watched a green and white ferry boat sail the glittering waters in front of her.

  “Can we go on one of those?” Cate asked hopefully.

  “Of course,” Kian grinned. He wanted Cate to love Seattle just as much as he already did. “We’ll go tomorrow.”

  He struggled to contain his growing arousal as he felt her soft curves brush against him for the first time in five months. Kian kissed just below her ear; he felt the familiar thump-thump of her heartbeat against his lips and tongue. He breathed in the scent of her blackberry shampoo. She would have teased him mercilessly if she’d known that he’d brought a bottle of her shampoo with him to Seattle, sniffing it whenever the loneliness threatened to engulf him.

  Kian wrapped an arm around her waist bringing her closer.

  “No,” Cate stiffened, pushing his arm down.

  Kian was suspicious; he’d definitely felt something before she’d pushed him away. She was wearing far too many layers for t
he warm weather. He slid his hand up her jeans-clad thigh. As his hand moved further up; Cate struggled to free herself. Kian lifted up her t-shirt and pressed his hand against her taut skin. He stroked his hands over her bump, as if he couldn’t quite believe what he was feeling. “You’re… pregnant.”

  “Yes,” Cate sobbed. She felt a huge whoosh of relief at finally being able to tell him.

  “I don’t…” Kian sat down on the bed and put his hands on his knees. He was in shock.

  Cate stripped off her jacket and long-sleeved t-shirt until she was wearing just a thin, white, cotton t-shirt which no longer disguised the curve of her belly. “Come here,” Kian reached out a hand and tugged her towards him. “How far along are you?”

  “Five months,” Cate said softly. “I think we conceived at that hotel at Heathrow the night before you left.”

  Kian could remember that night in vivid detail; it had been torturing him ever since.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” They’d talked every night on Skype.

  “I was going to tell you when you came back for Lola’s birthday…”

  Kian had a sudden thought, “have you had any more…?” Cate had suffered terribly with panic attacks while she was pregnant with both Lola and Mateo.

  “No,” Cate shook her head. “I’ve been fine.”

  He lifted up her t-shirt so it bunched just underneath her breasts. “Are you happy?”

  Cate laughed, her t-shirt slipping a little, “I am now.”

  He placed his hands gently on either side and kissed her stomach, tasting her skin. He couldn’t believe that he was going to be a dad again.

  “Hey,” Cate teased him, “what about up here?”

  Kian lifted her up so she was straddling his thighs. Cate tugged on his short ponytail. “I like the long hair, it suits you.”

  With one hand gripping her jeans-clad bottom and the other cradling the back of her head, Kian slanted his mouth over Cate’s. He licked the seam of her lips until she parted them. Now that she was here, Kian didn’t know how he’d survived without kissing his wife for five months. As their tongues tangled together, their hands roamed all over each other, raising the temperature in the air-conditioned room by about a thousand degrees.