Paradise Syndrome

by Louise Hall

  It was just a short walk from the house to the ferry terminus. “Boat!” Mateo cried excitedly as the ferry came into dock. He was still holding on to the toy boat his dad had given him the day before. Cate didn’t want to lug the pushchair all the way up to the upper decks so they stayed downstairs and sat on the padded benches at the side. Mateo wriggled, eager to escape the confines of his pushchair so Cate lifted him up on to the seat. He pressed his nose against the glass, looking out at Puget Sound.

  Jean and Lola were reading about Pike Place Market in Jean’s guide book.

  Cate tried talking to Kian but a couple of Seattle fans came up and congratulated him on his free-kick against San Jose the previous weekend. When he wasn’t chatting with them, his cell-phone kept beeping. Cate gave up, turning her attention back to Mateo.

  Mateo dropped his toy boat and Kian picked it up.

  When they got off the ferry, Kian gave Cate a quick kiss on the cheek and then left to find a taxi. “Dada!” Mateo struggled, “Dada!”

  “Teo,” Cate wheeled the pushchair up against the railings at the side so they weren’t blocking the stream of disembarking passengers and knelt down in front of her son, who had tears streaking down his chubby cheeks. “It’s OK. He’s coming back, buddy.”

  “I think he wants his boat,” Lola suggested. They unstrapped Mateo from the pushchair and checked all around but there was no sign of the toy boat. Kian must have still got it. Cate left Mateo and Lola with Jean and rushed down the boardwalk, hoping to catch Kian before he got a taxi but she was too late; there was no sign of him at the busy taxi rank.

  She caught Jean’s eye as she trudged back to them and shook her head.

  Lola knelt down at the side of her brother’s pushchair. “Want my boat,” he hiccupped. His cheeks were damp and blotchy.

  “It’s OK, Mats. Dad’s got it. He’ll give it back to you tonight but he needed a toy boat for his meeting today. It’s a really important meeting so only yours would do, because it’s the best toy boat in the whole wide world.”

  Mateo nodded. “My boat best.”

  “Until then, you can have this,” Lola opened up her little handbag and handed Mateo one of the ferry timetables. “Look, it’s got lots of pictures of boats on it.”

  Mateo looked at it for a minute. “Boat back tonight?”

  Lola nodded, “yes, boat back tonight.”

  As they walked along Alaskan Way to Pike Place Market, Jean offered to push Mateo’s pushchair. Cate walked ahead with Lola. “I’m so proud of you, sweetheart.” She gave her daughter a big hug, “you were so good with your brother back there.”

  Lola shrugged like it was nothing, “I was just trying to save my poor ears. I love Mats but he can be really loud sometimes.”

  Cate kissed the top of her head, “it was more than that. I love you, Lo.”

  “I love you too,” Lola wriggled, “but please can you and the baby stop squashing me.”

  As they walked past an old-fashioned novelty shop, Mateo wanted to stop and look at the small tourist boat which was docked at the adjacent pier.

  “Mum!” Lola suddenly yelped, “why are people throwing things at that boy over there?”

  Cate quickly turned around and there was a boy – he looked as if he was only in his early teens – sat cross-legged on the floor by the side of the novelty shop holding up a tattered cardboard sign, which asked people to throw coins at him because he was homeless and hungry. Most of the people who walked past either didn’t see him or pretended not to but a group of rowdy teenagers stopped and then came back. “Oh my God,” one of the boys from the group laughed, “are you for real, man?”

  “Yo, Shantel!” he called across to one of the girls in the group. “You got any change, babe? I only got notes.”

  The girls in the group quickly rummaged in their designer purses for coins for their boyfriends to throw at the poor boy.

  The ringleader collected the coins and then swaggered back to the rest of the boys, holding up his baggy jeans which were threatening to fall down his skinny legs.

  “Score,” the boys high-fived each other when one of them managed to hit him.

  “Stop it,” Lola shouted. “You’re hurting him.”

  Cate winced, trying to catch up with her daughter as she stomped towards the group of teenagers. Yes, she was horrified by what they were doing to that poor boy but she was also very much aware that if things turned nasty; they were just a toddler, a seven-year-old, a grandma and a pregnant lady. They weren’t exactly equipped to defend themselves.

  “Hey,” the ringleader held his hands up as Lola approached, “he asked for it, pipsqueak.”

  “Are you OK?” Lola ignored him, addressing the boy sat on the floor. His head was bent and he was still doggedly clinging to his cardboard sign. One of the coins had pierced his cheek just underneath his eye, causing a trickle of blood to run down his sallow skin.

  He didn’t look up at Lola but he nodded. What broke Cate’s heart was that he seemed more uncomfortable with their kindness than he’d been with the teenagers’ cruelty. Lola opened her small purse and emptied the contents into the torn plastic cup by his bent knee. It was her entire pocket money for the week.

  A man in a navy blue t-shirt with the tourist boat company logo printed on it came and joined them. “Come on, Seth,” he said to the boy, “let’s get you cleaned up.”

  Seth seemed familiar with him and got up from the floor. Cate was glad that at least he seemed to have somebody looking out for him.

  “Does this happen a lot?” Cate asked the man from the tourist boat company. According to the badge on his t-shirt, his name was Phil. She didn’t know why she was so shocked; she’d seen plenty of homeless people back in Manchester. Maybe it was because Seth looked so young and vulnerable. She couldn’t help but wonder where his family was?

  Phil shook his head, “he’s here every day but most people either just give him money or they look the other way.”

  Seth pressed a crumpled-up tissue against the cut on his cheek. “Would you let me have a look?” Jean approached him carefully. He nodded a little.

  “I’m just going to clean this up a little bit,” Jean made sure to let him know exactly what she was going to do. She borrowed a clean cloth from the boat company kiosk and a little anti-bacterial wash and gently wiped away the dirt and blood from Seth’s cheek. Cate rummaged in the depths of her purse and found a fresh plaster for him.

  “Don’t you look handsome?” Jean stepped back to admire her handiwork once she’d finished. Seth rewarded her with a slight turn up of the corner of his mouth.

  Cate bought him a cup of steaming hot vegetable soup from one of the nearby vendors and he wolfed it down hungrily. After he’d finished, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and mumbled a quiet “thank you” before he went back to his spot outside the novelty shop.

  “Isn’t there anything else we can do?” Cate asked Phil. She watched as Seth picked up his cardboard sign again. They’d given him money, soup and a plaster for his cut cheek but it didn’t feel like nearly enough.

  Phil shook his head, “I’m surprised that he let you help him at all. My colleagues and I have tried countless times to get him off the streets but… I don’t know. I can’t decide if he’s too proud to accept the help or if he really thinks that this is his lot in life.”

  When they got to Pike Place Market, Jean went to find a map while Cate, Lola and Mateo waited by the newsstand at the front.

  When Jean came back, Lola was looking at one of the American pre-teen magazines, which had her favourite boy-band One Direction on the front cover.

  “Would you like that, sweetheart?” Jean asked.

  Lola shook her head, “I’ll ask Mum if I can buy it next week. I’ve um, already spent all my pocket money.”

  Jean gave her grand-daughter a hug. She knew that Lola had given all of her pocket money to Seth. “Why don’t I buy it for you? That Harry Styles seems like a lovely young man even if he does
have a few too many tattoos.”

  Lola giggled, “how many tattoos is too many? Dad’s got two.”

  “Mm,” Jean walked to the till at the front of the newsstand to pay for the magazine. As much as she might appreciate the sentiment behind them – his love for his family – she didn’t exactly approve of her son’s tattoos. “Two is more than enough.”

  “Thank you so much, Granny Jean,” Lola gave Jean a hug.

  They walked through the market doing all the touristy things like having their photos taken with Rachel the bronzed Pig, watching the fish flying through the air at the fish market and the huge vats of cheese being made at Beecher’s. They bought fragrant lavender soaps and decadent chocolate cherries and Jean had her photo taken outside the first ever Starbucks.

  Afterwards they walked up to the next block and Jean bought them all, even Mateo, Seattle F.C. t-shirts. Laden down with shopping bags and aching feet, Cate and Jean were both delighted when they spotted a shop selling crumpets. Cate snagged a free table and sat with Mateo while Lola went up to the counter with Jean to order. The crumpets were hot and yummy and for a second, Cate felt like she was back home, standing in her familiar kitchen.

  “This is the best crumpet ever,” Lola grinned, a smear of peanut butter on her cheek.

  “Nice t-shirt,” the waitress clearing the table next to theirs smiled. Lola had insisted on changing into her Seattle F.C. t-shirt straight away. She was still wearing her navy-blue Manchester Rovers bracelet though.

  “Thank you,” Lola said proudly. “My dad plays for them.”

  After lunch, they walked back down to the front and found a vast boardwalk with benches and plenty of room for Mateo to run and chase the seagulls so they stopped for a break. While they were there, Kian met up with them. “Dada!” Mateo spotted him first and toddled towards him, giving the poor seagulls some much needed peace. “Boat!”

  Kian raised an eyebrow at Cate.

  “I’m hoping you put it in your bag this morning when he dropped it?”

  He reached into his bag and pulled out the toy boat, “oops. I’m sorry, Mats.”

  “Boat!” Mateo said to Lola, showing her his toy again.

  “I know,” Lola rolled her eyes at her brother. “Boat.”

  “How did your meetings go?” Cate asked as they strapped Mateo back into his pushchair.

  “Really good,” Kian smiled. “They’ve got me another couple of endorsements. I’ve got to fly to L.A. for a few days to film an advert.”

  “Wow,” Cate smiled. “That’s great.”

  “I was thinking…” Kian’s eyes glittered and even though they were in public, Cate felt her belly do a flip. “You should come with me. You could hang out with Liv.”

  Cate’s older sister, Liv had moved to L.A. with her musician boyfriend, Jax.

  “As tempting as it sounds, I’ve only just got here.”

  “I’m sure Mum wouldn’t mind looking after Lola and Mats for a couple of nights.”

  “I’d love to,” Jean insisted. “Go on. You could do with a break, Cate.”

  Mateo dozed in his pushchair on the ferry ride home and Lola was engrossed in her new magazine. As Kian chatted with his mum, Cate relaxed into the gentle lull of the waves. She hadn’t realised she’d fallen asleep until Kian gently shook her awake. “We’re home.”

  Cate blinked open her eyes, still expecting to see the familiar sights of Manchester when he said “home.” She shook her head, if anything she felt even more tired than before she’d fallen asleep. The jet lag was still kicking her behind.

  By the time they got back to the house, Cate was so desperate for sleep; she was ready to curl up on the floor just inside the front door.

  Lola raced upstairs, eager to tell Emily and Noah, her friends from back home, all about Pike Place Market.

  Cate trudged behind, carrying Mateo. She gently placed him down in his cot, praying that he would stay asleep. She walked back along the corridor and opened the door to what she’d thought was their bedroom. A broom handle toppled forward and bonked her on the head. “Ouch,” Cate rubbed the top of her head.

  Kian was just coming up the stairs. “You OK?”

  “I was going to take a nap.”

  Kian smirked, “in the cupboard?”

  Cate rolled her eyes, “no. You can tease me later but right now, please just tell me which one’s the bedroom?”

  “It’s this one,” Kian chuckled, pushing open the door. Cate kicked off her ballet flats and climbed into the lovely, big bed.

  CHAPTER 5

  “Thanks again for offering to look after Lola and Mats when we go to L.A.” It was later that night and Kian and Jean were sat on the porch at the back of the house, looking out across the gunmetal waters of Puget Sound at the skyline of downtown Seattle. Cate and the children, still suffering from jet-leg, were already asleep upstairs.

  “You don’t need to thank me,” Jean smiled. “I want to spend as much time with them as possible. I’m going to miss them terribly when I go back home to Manchester in a couple of weeks.”

  “I’m sure Amelie will keep you plenty busy,” Kian laughed, thinking about his sister, Sinead’s daughter. “But seriously, are you sure you’re OK with us moving out here?”

  “Don’t look so worried,” Jean placed her hand on top of his. Her skin was still lovely and warm from holding her mug of English tea. “I’ll be perfectly fine.”

  “But Dad…” Even though it had been over eight years since his dad had died from a massive heart attack while he was driving home from work, Kian still felt responsible for both his mum and Sinead. At least Sinead had Fabrizio and Amelie but his mum still lived on her own in the house they’d grown up in. When they’d first discussed moving to Seattle, Kian had asked his mum if she’d consider coming with them but she’d politely declined.

  “Your dad…” Jean’s eyes pricked with tears as they always did when she talked about her late husband, Eamon. She clasped his wedding band, which she still wore on a chain around her neck. “I know when you were younger you thought that your dad was too hard on you about football but all he ever really wanted was for you to be happy. I can see how happy you are here, Kian. Of course, I’m going to miss seeing Lola and Mats every day and the new baby but we’ll Skype and I’ll come and visit. You don’t need to worry about me; I’ve got a very full life back home in Manchester. Like you said, I’ve got Sinead and Amelie; I’ve got my job at the charity shop and my friends.”

  The new baby…Kian dragged his fingers through his black hair. He still couldn’t believe that Cate had kept her pregnancy a secret from him for five months. “How has she been, really?”

  Jean took another sip of tea while she carefully considered her next words. “It’s been tough for her.”

  “Has she had any more…?”

  “You know what Cate’s like, sweetheart. She’d never admit to me or anybody else if she started having panic attacks again. I know that she’s been tired all the time – she’s always got those dark smudges under her eyes and you can see how pale she is.” Kian realised that she must have tried to cover up how badly she was feeling with make-up before they’d Skyped each night. “A couple of times when I stopped by the house without calling first, I wondered if she’d just been crying because her eyes were a little red.”

  “Damn it,” Kian hated that his wife had been so upset and he’d been thousands of miles away thinking everything was fine. He got up and paced back and forth across the wooden porch. “Why the f…Why didn’t she tell me?”

  “If Cate had told you that she was pregnant,” Jean asked. “What would you have done?”

  Kian frowned. How could she even ask that question? “You know damn well that I’d have got the first flight home.”

  “Mind the language,” Jean warned. “I do know that and so does Cate. Do you really think that she’d have let you give up this amazing opportunity?”

  “Darn it,” Kian repeated, trying hard to moderate his language for hi
s mum. “She still should have told me. If she didn’t want me to come back to Manchester, she and the children could have moved out here sooner.”

  “She didn’t want to disrupt Lola’s schooling,” Jean reminded him.

  “She’s been really torn because after what happened at the World Cup…” His mum frowned, her disapproval still very apparent. Several years ago, after England had been knocked out of the World Cup on penalties by Sweden, Kian had had a one-night stand with Jenna, one of Sinead’s friends. When she’d found out what he’d done, Cate had taken Lola (who was only three-years old at the time) and left him. It had taken Kian six brutal months to earn back her trust and forgiveness. But it wasn’t just the one-night stand which had hurt Cate so badly, it was that so many of their friends and family had known about it and hadn’t told her.

  “She didn’t want everybody else knowing about the baby before you did. She was going to tell you when you came back to Manchester for Lola’s birthday – she knew you’d be concerned and she thought that if she told you face-to-face instead of via Skype that she’d have a better chance of convincing you that she was OK and that you could go back to Seattle without feeling too guilty. But then when your flight was cancelled, she felt like the only option she had was to wait until she got here to Seattle to tell you.”

  “Sinead knew because she was there when Cate took the test but apart from that, she worked really hard to conceal her pregnancy from everybody. She stayed at home most of the time and when she did go out, even just to the local supermarket, she wore really loose-fitting clothes and carried bulky bags. When I accidentally found out a month ago, she made me promise not to tell you. You know how stubborn she can be. Even Lola didn’t know until a couple of weeks ago when she really started to show.”

  “If there was a choice between yours and the children’s happiness and her own, you know that Cate would put you and the children first every single time.”

  “I do know that,” Kian grunted.

  “Listen to me, Kian,” Jean said, putting her hand on his forearm. “You need to forget about those five months when you were apart. They were awful but they’re over and done with now. Take these few days in L.A. to just enjoy being with your wife again.”