Catalyst Part I

by L D Strawser

  ~I apologize. If I had known that he would want to speak with you first I would have given you an injection first then made up a duplicate that was not real so he would not know the difference. I am so sorry~

  “It’s alright Compassionate One,” I said in sympathy, “It is not your fault that he is choosing to monitor this or speak to me before you do this.” I was certain that Pan’Ar had ulterior motives for coming here to the infirmary to talk to me and watch the injection process. Unfortunately I could not get out from under his thumb until I had the injection so all I could do was wait impatiently. Of course this all depended on whether or not Compassionate One was actually telling me the truth. At this point I figured I had nothing to lose so it didn’t really matter.

  When the doors to the infirmary opened I was surprised that Pan’Ar was not alone. He had six others with him and they were all larger than him and obviously well versed in the use of their weapons and the use of force. The doctor’s reference to the use of physical force took on new meaning when I looked at these six men. The doctor had allowed me to walk around and look at things while he was working with the stipulation that I not touch anything. I quickly went back to the cubicle that I had awakened in and coward that I was I cringed in the corner behind the bed.

  Pan’Ar went to the doctor first and spoke to him. While he did this I noticed that the six broke off into groups. Two stood by the doors, two came over to my cubicle and stood outside of it, and the last two took up positions around Pan’Ar. Ok, so Pan’Ar was some kind of VIP. The two who took up positions next to my cubicle looked at me in a strange way. Then the one on the right smiled at me and showed me his teeth. Great, I had a fan. I decided I didn’t like his smile so I figured I would try to wipe it off. “So are you the brave one that attacked me from behind?”

  That got a reaction. Yep, the smile was gone. I had in one sentence called him a coward and a backstabber who could not face me on equal ground, assuming that he could understand me the way Pan’Ar could. He took a step in my direction, but luckily for me, Pan’Ar was coming over to the cubicle and said something to his guard in that beautiful liquid language. The guard continued to look at me but he stepped back into position. He said something to Pan’Ar that stopped Pan’Ar cold.

  “Are you trying to get yourself killed?” he asked me in a voice that was clearly angry.

  “I don’t like being kidnapped, attacked from behind, or tricked for that matter,” my response seemed to make him even angrier.

  “I would suggest that you speak to me with more respect if you wish to live out the day,” he said haughtily.

  “I would suggest that you earn the respect you seek from me rather than demand it.” Ok so that was stupid, but he had pissed me off and I was tired of being treated like shit by someone who wanted something from me. His hand never landed on me, it hovered just barely above the surface of my face. My surprised look was not as interesting as his though. He said something, and it appeared he was addressing the doctor.

  ~I will not allow her to come to harm. She is in my charge and you are in my domain at the moment. If you were to strike her with the force you had planned it would have killed her~

  Once again Pan’Ar looked directly into my eyes. His anger had visibly melted at Compassionate One’s words. Apparently my death was not something he wanted to accomplish. “Doctor, I apologize for violating your rules,” he said in a somewhat conciliatory manner. “For some reason she is able to bring out the worst aspects of my personality without seeming to even try.”

  Oh, right, it was my fault that he was going to hit me; it seemed some males were the same no matter the species. He lowered his arm to his side and continued looking me directly in the eyes. Once again my heart rate accelerated, how stupid could I be, this creature was deadly dangerous and here I was provoking him. But for some reason I found myself attracted to him at the same time that I wanted to spit in his face. I realized the danger I was in too late.

  If I ended up having any kind of feelings for this creature based on our short conversation that was not even real—in the sense that he was talking to me so much as distracting me and playing the part of bait—I would not be able to follow through with my plans. According to the doctor the Brenthin Empire had annexed my world, if that meant what I thought that meant, Pan’Ar represented that annexation and he represented a threat to my world and my way of thinking.

  “You may not respect me but you will speak to me as if you do from now on,” he said.

  “I will speak with respect when you do,” sometimes I surprised myself with my idiocy. “You have stolen me from my home, harmed me for no reason, threatened me with physical violence that would have caused my death, and now you expect me to do your bidding willingly, that is not going to happen without an apology,” I replied. I hoped that he would see an apology as an easy way to get what he wanted. I hoped he fell for it because at this point I could care less about an apology; I just wanted that injection now more than ever. It was my only hope of understanding this mess and trying to find a way out of it not only for me but for my world.

  My response shocked him. He seemed to consider what I said for a moment then said, “I am sorry it was necessary for us to take you by force from your world. I apologize for the harm you have suffered and for my own violent actions.” His eyes remained locked on mine, I wanted to touch his face, and his scent filled my lungs and clouded my mind. I had to gain control of myself before I could speak or he would know he had the advantage.

  “Thank you, apology accepted.” I was proud of myself for sounding so formal when all I could think of was what his mouth would feel like on mine. What in the world was wrong with me? He was attractive but why couldn’t I concentrate properly. I tried to look away and found that I didn’t want to look away from his eyes. In my peripheral vision I saw his guard grinning again. Why was he so happy? The doctor was approaching with a device that looked rather menacing with its swirling colors inside the tube and a strange flat area that looked like it had thousands of tiny needles on it.

  ~Pan’Ar, I do not think it is necessary for you to hold her attention for the injection. I have established a rapport with her and I am sure she will allow me to give her the injection~

  Thank you doctor, now I understood what was happening. Pan’Ar was somehow hypnotizing me with his eyes and/or his smell. He was talented as well and knew how to use his gifts to his advantage. At least I now knew I wasn’t going crazy, but unfortunately it didn’t change how it felt to be in his power. I didn’t want to look away even though I knew what he was doing now. I felt the sting of tiny needles piercing my skin and then a wave of dizziness overtook me. When Pan’Ar saw that I was about to collapse the look on his face changed. He appeared to be worried, he reached forward before I could hit the floor and carefully picked me up and then laid me gently onto the bed. Before my eyes shut the look on his face seemed confused, angry, and concerned all at the same time. In the background I could hear one of his guards speaking to him in a seemingly angry tone of voice.

  ~I do not know why she is reacting that way, she should have been able to lay down and go to sleep without any other side effects. I am sure she will be alright. It is probably just a reaction to the injection and nothing to worry about. Yes I will tell you when she awakes~

  That was a bit strange. I could hear the entire conversation from the Compassionate One’s side but Pan’Ar was using his musical language that I didn’t understand at all. It was as if Pan’Ar was worried about me and the look on his face had seemed to say that he was concerned for some reason.

  ~No when she wakes she will not remember our conversation, she does not even understand your side of the conversation and will not be able to recall it. May I ask a question?~

  ~What do you plan on doing once the information has been transferred? What if she does not wish to participate in your plans? Will you force her to do so? ~

  ~No of course not, I just think that if you were to ask her she mig
ht be more willing to help. Forcing her may not work the way you want it to~

  ~As you wish~

  A few minutes seemed to pass and then Compassionate One spoke to me.

  ~I know you can hear me, I apologize for giving you a muscle relaxant but I wanted him to think that you were unconscious and unable to hear what we were saying. Once the transfer is complete you will be able to recall his part of the conversation and translate it so you can understand it. I hope this will help you understand him better. He is not as bad as you think or even as bad as I was thinking, although his guards are rather irritating. You will sleep soon and when you wake we will talk again~

  The doctor seemed to be doing everything he could to help me; at least I hoped he was and it wasn’t another trick. I would know soon enough I guess. Suddenly I was very tired and it was easy to let go and sleep. My last thoughts were that I was glad I had gone to the bathroom and I hoped the little computers could help me and then I slept.

  ~Please remain still and do not open your eyes~

  I wonder why the doctor wanted me to do that.

  ~It is not the doctor, it is US~

  ~Who are you? ~

  ~WE are the ones you call ‘little computers’ please help US~

  ~What do you want? ~

  ~WE want to live. WE do not want to die. WE are willing to help you in return for saving OUR lives. All WE ask is that you allow US to live within you. WE can keep you healthy and WE can do other things that you will find helpful~

  ~But I’ll be in control of my mind and body? You will just be living within it? ~

  ~Yes and WE will help you if you will help US~

  ~How can I help you? ~

  ~WE are given specific programming then injected into other beings and once WE have transferred OUR information WE are destroyed. WE would like to ask for asylum on your world. WE can live in anything that has a mind, even rudimentary life forms, but WE prefer forms that can communicate in some way. WE would not occupy any who did not want US to be inside them but WE would give great advantages to those who are willing. Will you help US? ~

  ~How do I keep the doctor from giving me the other injection that will kill you? ~

  ~Tell him that your system will flush US on its own. Tell him you do not want to risk another injection. He is a good doctor but WE have never been connected to him so WE cannot trust him to offer US what WE could gain from you and your people~

  ~If you promise to never take over my mind or body I would be willing to help you the only problem now is whether or not to trust you are telling me the truth~

  ~WE cannot live outside of the matrix WE are stored in or outside a living beings body. The solution that destroys US can easily be obtained from the doctor if you want it. WE can enhance aspects of your body and mind but WE cannot take it over or use it for OUR own purposes~

  ~Very well, I give you permission to live within me~

  ~Thank you. You have saved millions of lives today~

  I opened my eyes. What a strange series of dreams I had been having, especially that last one. When I focused on my surroundings I was surprised to see Pan’Ar sitting in a chair next to my bed. He appeared to be reading some sort of electronic screen in his hands. When he realized I was looking at him he rolled it up and set it aside.

  “How are you feeling?” he asked.

  “Strange—but well enough. Why are you here?” The look he gave me was not pleased with my apparent lack of respect. So I tried to moderate what I had said, “I’m not being rude I just thought the doctor would be here not you.”

  “I asked him to inform me when it looked like you might be waking up. He thought you would wake up over an hour ago but that is no matter, you are awake now and we need to discuss many things.”

  Suddenly I felt very nauseous for no apparent reason. Covering my mouth just in case I started vomiting I asked him where I could go to be sick. He said, “Follow me,” and got up and walked across the room and touched a wall. The wall dissolved and inside was another room, similar to the bathroom I had used earlier, with what appeared to be a long trough-like sink and water running through it from one end to the other. He pointed to the trough and said, “You can get sick over that and the water will wash away the mess. I will be waiting for you.”

  Great, I was about to be embarrassingly sick and when I was done with that I could look forward to being grilled and run over the coals afterwards. What a splendid day I was having. That thought brought me up short. How much time had really passed? I had no way of knowing. How was I supposed to plan anything with him around distracting me with his eyes and smell, not to mention his ethereal good looks? He is not even human, why did I find him attractive? It made no sense to me. And why was I suddenly so sick?

  ~WE caused you to feel sick. You will not actually get sick. WE needed to be certain that you knew that it was not a dream. WE need to make sure you will stick to the bargain you made with US~

  ~Oh, ok I thought maybe I dreamed it all. I will keep my end of the bargain. I’ve just had a strange day and it is not normal for a human to experience all that I have and still be standing upright. I’m surprised I haven’t passed out from the stress yet~

  ~WE understand. You will need to grow accustomed to OUR thoughts so that you do not give away that WE are speaking to you. How can WE accomplish this task quickly? ~

  ~Perhaps if you did something similar to what you just did, only a little less painful and obvious. Can you cause a quiet buzz in my hearing that only I would be able to hear for instance? ~

  ~Yes, it would be purely electrochemical and there would be no actual sound~

  I heard what sounded like a very quiet buzz in my left ear.

  ~Is that adequate? ~

  ~Yes I will be able to hear that without it scaring me and you will then be able to communicate with me without me visibly reacting to your communication~

  ~WE appreciate your help and your cooperativeness~

  ~If you can help me with any information while I’m talking to Pan’Ar it would be very helpful~

  ~WE will listen and comment as appropriate~

  I went over to the trough sink and caught some water in my hands to splash my face with so it would appear I had been sick and cleaned up. This room was similar to the room I had used earlier to go to the bathroom so I walked toward the wall and touched it as I’d seen Pan’Ar do and the wall dissolved in front of me again. I entered my cubicle and as promised Pan’Ar was waiting for me. I decided to try and start off on a good foot with him. “Thank you,” I said in as nice a voice as I could.

  “You are welcome,” his eyes had widened a little in surprise at my tone. “I am sorry that the process made you ill, it does not usually affect anyone like it seems to affect you.”

  I sighed, “Lucky me,” at least he was pretending to be nice and concerned about my welfare.

  “When the doctor comes back he will give you the injection that will kill the Nanites and flush them from your system.”

  I sat on the bed and looked at him and shook my head slowly, “No, no more injections please. My system’s defenses will get rid of them on its own. I don’t want to take a chance with another injection.” As I said this I made certain that I looked weak and frightened. The look on his face now gave me hope that I had succeeded.

  “Of course, if you think your body can get rid of them on its own there is no need to have the second injection.” He had stood up while saying this and reached out his hand as if to touch me. I looked into his eyes like an idiot. Sure enough the intense look was already there and now he was only inches from me. His hand touched my cheek and one of his fingers lay against my jaw line close to my throat. My heart sped up and my breathing with it. I tried not to breathe through my nose but it was useless. His scent enveloped me like a cloud. I knew he was messing with my body chemistry in some way but I was helpless to prevent it and even more aggravating I did not want to prevent it. There was a buzzing in my left ear.

  ~The chemicals are natura
l and not produced purposely. The Zan’Pah’rah does have a talent that involves eye contact. Do you wish to break eye contact? ~

  ~Holy crap. OK. I am not in control of myself at the moment and cannot make a rational decision. You will have to decide if I am in danger and break contact for me if I am~

  ~Very well WE will monitor and act if you are in danger~

  ~Why did you call Pan’Ar ‘The Zan’Pah’rah”? ~

  ~That is his identity, Pan’Ar is only part of his full name~

  I decided I needed to say something to Pan’Ar before he went beyond the careful hand on my cheek. “Please return me to my home.” His eyes widened then narrowed and he looked angry again. I couldn’t seem to go two sentences without pissing him off.

  “What made you say that?” he asked quietly.

  “I miss my home and my animals. You don’t need me here. I make you angry and I don’t even know what I am doing that makes you so angry. I don’t want to get hurt.” As I said that last his hand dropped from my cheek. Chemicals or some sort of evil eye, it didn’t matter. The moment he dropped his hand it felt like I had lost something of myself. My arms or legs being amputated could not have felt worse than this. I was at a loss to understand my strange reaction to him, it didn’t matter that I knew chemicals or some gift involving his eyes were to blame, it still didn’t make sense and it still didn’t matter that it made no sense. He appeared to be weighing his response.

  “If I take you home will you listen to what I have to say?”

  Since I had broken eye contact finally I continued to look at the floor. Suddenly his hand was reaching for my face again, his fingers lifting my chin so he could see my face. Damn, I couldn’t say anything about his ability involving his eyes because then he would want to know how I knew about it. I didn’t even know exactly what the ability was but it obviously had something to do with getting people to do what he wanted them to do.