by Soraya Lane
Maybe her boss had been right that she’d needed to come back, because no amount of forward planning and notes would have accomplished all this as seamlessly. Not given the fact that she’d pinned up half the decorations herself just to make sure they were perfect.
She joined Zoe at the bar and slumped down over it. “I’m exhausted.”
“Don’t look now, but here comes Cruella de Vil herself,” her assistant hissed.
Maddison groaned and hauled herself up. The last thing she needed was a dressing down by her boss after the 12-hour days she’d been putting in. Not to mention the fact that she had promised to be home by now and she was still stuck working herself to the bone.
She forced herself to perk up and paste a smile on her face.
“Looks good, Maddison.”
The words were crisp and cool, but she appreciated the praise.
“I thought I’d stay to see the first of the guests arrive,” she said, stepping back so her boss could approach the bar. “Care to join us for a drink?”
“Perfect. Might give us a moment to discuss upcoming projects.”
Maddison smiled politely when inside she wanted to groan. She’d only just finished this event, was ready for the vacation she’d never had.
Zoe passed her a glass of champagne and nodded in a silent toast. Maddison raised her glass and took a small sip, then put it down quickly. The smell of the alcohol sent her stomach into a twist, leaving her queasy and lightheaded. She needed the restroom.
“You feeling okay?” Zoe asked.
Maddison nodded, asking the bartender for a glass of water. “I’m fine. It’s just been a long day and I haven’t eaten since breakfast time.”
It was a lie, she’d had snacks in her handbag like she always did when she was on a job, but she didn’t want anyone to make a fuss. Even if her stomach was turning again just at the sight of her boss sipping on her own drink.
“I think you can take over the Mercer account next week, start work on their upcoming launch party, and the summer functions will need attention too.”
Maddison was listening but she wasn’t. Because she thought she’d made herself clear that she needed a break.
“Sheila, I know I came back for this event, but I still need to spend time with my family,” Maddison said, forcing herself to look her boss in the eye, maintain contact. “My dad is still recovering, and to be honest I just need to refill the well. Take some time to myself and let me renew my creativity again.”
She received an arched eyebrow in response. “You realize how big these accounts are, don’t you?”
She did. For fuck’s sake, she knew the importance of everything in the industry, had poured blood and sweat into her job for years. Not that she’d ever say it out aloud.
But she could be honest about her priorities, and if the time had ever been ripe, it was now.
“Sheila, I appreciate every opportunity you’ve given me.” Maddison cleared her throat, nervous. She was still feeling queasy, on the verge of dizzy, but she was determined to speak her mind for once. “But I just can’t keep working at this pace with no break, with no room to prioritize my family. I need to take a vacation, and a proper one this time.”
“What, exactly, are you trying to tell me?”
Zoe was looking at her over their boss’s shoulder, eyes wide, shaking her head like she wanted Maddison to stop while she still could. But there was no going back from this. She had to stand up for herself, because if she didn’t do it now she never would.
“I’m saying that I need some time off to be with my family. It doesn’t change how I feel about my career, but I need at least the next two weeks off work completely. No phone, no email, just me having some time to myself.”
Sheila shook her head, her mouth drawn in a tight line. “A few days is the most I can give you. Three tops.”
Maddison took a deep breath. She’d taken less than three weeks off in a total of five years. “You’re certain?” she forced herself to ask.
Her boss nodded. She’d made it clear that there was no room for negotiation.
Heat flooded Maddison’s face, not from embarrassment but from the woozy feeling in her belly that she couldn’t shake. It was making her hot and clammy.
“Then I’m sorry, but I’ll have to tender my resignation.”
She held her head high, refused to be belittled by the woman who’d ordered her around for the past half-decade. Now wasn’t the time for her to back down.
“You walk out that door,” Sheila said, her voice cool, “and I’ll make sure your career in event planning is over.”
Maddison smiled and nodded at Zoe, who had tears in her eyes and a terrified expression on her face, before turning on her heel and walking away. Only she didn’t head for the exit but for the restroom instead.
She hauled open the door with as much dignity as she could muster, made it to the toilet, and vomited. Her stomach felt like it was curdled, her body was exhausted, but she forced herself upright, cleaned up, and left the building.
Fear knotted within her, bound tight like a snake curled over her eggs.
And it wasn’t her job that she was worried about. Because she knew. This wasn’t nerves.
If she wasn’t mistaken, she was pregnant.
Tears were burning her eyes, but Maddison managed to keep it together. She didn’t even know if was possible to get this queasy so early in pregnancy. She’d only be back in L.A. two weeks.
Her doctor walked back into the room, smile on her face. “Great news,” she announced.
Maddison bit down on the inside of her mouth. The last time she’d been here, she’d been talking to her doctor about fertility, excited about going off contraception and planning a family. Of course she’d presume that a baby was good news.
“You’re pregnant.”
Holy shit.
“It’s not usual to feel sick so early, and it may just have been the smell of the alcohol, but it’s certainly normal.”
She instinctively touched her hand to her belly. It was Jack’s child, there was no other possibility, which meant she was only just pregnant.
“You look shocked?” Her doctor’s smile had turned into a frown.
Maddison blew out a big breath. “I just wasn’t expecting it. Not now.”
“You’ll both make great parents. Every new mom is daunted when they find out, even those who’ve been trying a long time.”
She smiled and stood, taking a card her doctor passed to her. “This is the number of a great OB-GYN. I highly recommend you make contact with her.”
Jack was going to be furious with her. Jack was going to hate her.
Because the one thing that made her different to him was that he trusted her. And now she’d made the one thing happen that terrified him the most, because what if he thought she’d planned this?
They’d made love in the heat of the moment. For the first time in her life she hadn’t even thought about protection, hadn’t even considered pregnancy. But she’d been off contraception for a few months, and now she was pregnant by a man she loved more than she’d ever admit.
And who’d made it clear that he never, ever wanted to be a dad.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
JACK walked in the door, not bothering to knock since it was already propped open. He could hear talking and laughter, and he wished he’d made it over sooner. He should have collected Maddison from the airport himself, even though he would have had to fight her sister for the honor.
“There you are.” Her mom came down the hall and he bent to kiss her cheek. “I knew you’d be here in time for dinner.”
Jack laughed as she took him by the arm to haul him into the kitchen. It didn’t take him a second to lock eyes with Maddison, leaning perched on the edge of the table.
“Hey,” he said, nodding to her dad and sister as he walked toward the woman who was going to be his wife.
She gave him a shy smile, a smile he didn’t recognize, but he hadn’t exactly exp
ected her to throw herself at him in front of her family. He crossed the distance between them, touched her shoulder as he placed a kiss to her cheek. He could have paused for longer, would have preferred to show her what he’d like to do to her now she was back. But that could wait until they were alone, because he had every intention of taking her home with him tonight.
“How was work?”
Maddison grimaced. “Great.”
He raised an eyebrow, not sure he caught her meaning. Her groan told him it was nothing good.
“Sarcastic?” he asked.
She laughed. “Unless you count me telling my boss where to stick her job as great.”
Jack sat on the edge of the table with her, slinging an arm around her shoulders. Maybe it was just her work getting to her, but she seemed different. Even before they’d decided on the whole marriage thing, Maddison would have accepted his touch. Would have moved closer to him or at least acknowledged him. Now she was stiff as a board, even though he could see she was trying to make an effort.
“Is the damage irreparable?” he asked, smiling his thanks as her mom passed him a beer.
“It’s a complete disaster. I should have kept my mouth shut, I guess, but at the end of the day I couldn’t put up with it anymore.”
He placed his hand over hers, liking that she turned her palm to link their fingers. “Life’s too short to get treated like shit.”
There was silence. She was probably thinking what he was thinking. That being treated like shit was exactly what he’d put up with most of his life. The only difference was that he’d done it to secure his heritage, for his mom.
“Are you going to sell your condo?”
Jack looked up as her dad spoke. He was sitting in the old armchair closest to the kitchen, looking more tired than Jack had ever noticed before.
She shrugged in response. “I guess. I love that place but, well.”
Maddison cleared her throat and pulled her hand away from his. There was definitely more to this than just her losing her job.
“If you need help financially,” he said in a low voice, watching her face.
The smile she gave him was happy mixed with sad. “Thanks Jack,” she said. “But I think I need to sell it, given the fact that I’ve been told I’ll never work for anyone in the industry again. I’ll buy something smaller, maybe an investment.”
Anger made him steel his jaw. “Let me get this right, your boss told you that?”
Her frown told him he was right. “More of a bitch than even I realized.”
“Dinner’s ready,” her mom announced, marching toward the table with an enormous plate of something that smelled delicious.
“You’re going to be a married woman,” Charlotte called out, walking to the table. “You’ll be too busy playing the good housewife and making babies to even worry about work.”
Jack stayed silent, but he did glance at Maddison. Her cheeks were flushed and she looked like she might bolt.
He took her arm and walked them both a few steps away, leaning in close. “Are you okay?”
Maddie nodded. Jack wasn’t convinced.
“Can we talk later?”
He stared into her eyes, saw pain there, wished he could take it away. “Sure thing. We’ll head to my place after dinner.”
Jack let her walk ahead of him, pulled out her chair and sat by her side.
Only he could have been half way to Texas for the distance that stretched between them.
“So you two lovebirds make any more wedding plans?”
Maddison had never been so scared in her life. Nothing compared to the terror of sitting beside the man she was supposed to marry, the man who meant more to her than anyone else in the world right now, because he was the father of her child. Only she knew that the way he was looking at her right now? He might never look at her again like that. Not after he heard the news.
“We were thinking of watching a movie. You two up for it?”
She smiled at her sister as they stood to clear the table. “I think we might head to Jack’s for a while,” she said, glancing over her shoulder.
“So in other words you two are going to leave me with the old folks?”
They both laughed. “Sorry.”
Her mom took over for her then, giving her a gentle push back toward Jack. “You two go enjoy yourselves. It won’t take long to clean up.”
Maddison breathed deep, went to touch her stomach then stopped herself.
“Jack?”
He looked up, finished what he was saying to her dad before taking her hand and standing.
“Ready to call it a night?”
She just smiled and squeezed his hand. They said their goodbyes and headed for the door.
“You sure there’s nothing else troubling you?” Jack asked her.
Maddison kept hold of his hand as they walked to his car. Part of her wished she could just run back to her house, tuck up in a ball on her bed and not deal with anything that was going on. But she knew it was impossible, that she had to deal with this.
“Jack, there’s something I need to tell you,” she blurted out.
He stopped walking, reached for her other hand and dropped a kiss to it. “Before or after I take you back to my place?” Jack winked and she couldn’t help smiling, even though she knew his grin was soon going to be replaced with a very surly frown, at best.
“How about we walk for a bit?”
Jack shrugged and let go of one of her hands. They walked down the driveway toward the stables, wandering slowly. She ran everything through in her mind again, tried to prepare for how and what she was going to say, but there was no way to soften the blow.
“Jack,” she said, stopping and waiting for him to turn, holding his hand so tight it must have been hurting him.
He waited, watched her, tucked a loose strand of hair behind her hair where it belonged.
“Just tell me, Maddie. It can’t be that bad, unless you’ve taken your gay ex-fiancé back?”
“Jack, I’m pregnant.”
Tears flooded her eyes but she bit down hard on her bottom lip, forced them to stay and not fall. Because she couldn’t turn into a blubbering mess, not when she was telling Jack something so bad, something he had been so certain he didn’t want to happen. This wasn’t bad news for her, it was bad news for him.
Even in the half-light she could see the pulse, the tick at the top of his jaw as he clenched it. His eyes had left hers, were staring above her head, and when his gaze returned it wasn’t the soft, playful expression in his eyes she’d become so used to. This Jack was looking at her with soulless, angry eyes that could chill her to the bone.
“Is it mine?”
Her own anger rose to the surface. She snatched her hand back from his, fisting both at her sides. “Of course it’s yours.”
Jack was silent, his fury like another person standing between them, keeping them apart and making his feelings clear.
“I trusted you.” His words were final, so cold.
So he did think she’d done it on purpose.
“That night, I never even thought about… I mean, it all happened in such a…”
“You never thought about it? Give me a break, Maddie.” He yanked his fingers through his hair, turning to walk away before spinning back to her. “You expect me to believe that you went from being desperate to be a mom to suddenly not thinking about it at all when we had sex?”
Now she was angry. Her blood was pumping so hard it was thumping in her ears.
“We’re both adults, Jack, and we both had unprotected sex. Remember? So let’s not make this completely my fault. It wasn’t like I forced you to do it”
If she hadn’t known Jack, she’d have been scared by his anger, but no matter how furious he was with her, how much he hated her, he’d never hurt her.
“Are you keeping it?”
If she’d been angry with him before, now she was livid. “How dare you ask me that.”
“Did I not make it
clear that I didn’t ever want to be a fucking dad? What part of that didn’t you understand, Maddison? I…” he paused. “I take responsibility for having unprotected sex, all right? But fuck, Maddie. Fuck this.”
He was walking away from her now, his shoulders hunched instead of square.
“Walk away, Jack,” she called after him, watching as he turned and stood, with that distance between them, watching her like he didn’t trust her even one little bit. Note even enough to risk standing next to her. “You don’t want to be a dad? Then walk away. This is your out. You don’t have to marry me, and you certainly don’t have to be a father to our child.”
He marched back toward her again, like a giant about to crush his enemy. “You don’t get to tell me that, Maddison. You don’t get to act like I did something wrong here.”
“We both did,” she said, forcing the words out, needing to say what she’d lain awake thinking about the night before. “But I want this baby, Jack. I didn’t plan it, I didn’t do it on purpose, but now that I’m pregnant? I’m going to do everything I can for my child. For our child.”
He stared at her, like there was so much he wanted to say but couldn’t. “I trusted you.” He said it again and this time his words hurt even more than they had before. “And I will never, ever trust you again.”
Jack walked away again, only this time she knew there was no chance of him coming back. No last words to say, no reason for him to change his mind and walk back to her.
And it hurt. Like he’d stabbed a knife deep in her chest that was going to slowly, painfully kill her.
Now she’d lost the one man she’d ever truly cared about. Her best friend. Her lover.
She was going to be the mom she’d always dreamed of being, but right now, all she wanted was Jack.
CHAPTER TWELVE
JACK was sitting in the dark like a recluse. Right now, even thinking about the sun was enough to give him a headache. He opened his eyes again and looked around the room. He hadn’t even made it to his bedroom, and there was an empty bottle of bourbon lying on the sofa beside him.