Worthy of Magic (The Ancient Magic Series Book 4)

by Stephany Wallace

  “This is my fault as much as it is yours, Art. It takes two, and I’m not innocent here. Let’s forget it. Just go, they are waiting for you.”

  She walked away from me leaving me standing there.

  I swallowed as the pain ripped through me. Taking a deep breath, I put on my jeans and a t-shirt and walked out the door.

  CHAPTER 10. WITHOUT YOU

  ART

  * * *

  Day 1 without Lia…

  I wasn’t strong enough for this.

  I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what had happened. No. That wasn’t true. I knew exactly what happened. The images were clear in my mind. They played over and over again, relentlessly. Each caress, each kiss was tattooed in my mind, making my skin tingle as though Lia was still in my arms. The concerns my brother had shared during the meeting had eluded me, and Lia's words replaced his.

  “Even if a day comes when you might not remember me anymore, I'll always be here, frozen in time. Safe, in your arms."

  Damn. Even now, her words singed my chest leaving a hole behind.

  “Don't you know what you mean to me?”

  What did she mean to me? She was my friend, nothing else. The desperate need I had inside me to make sure she was safe, came from my innate desire to please and look after everyone around me. That was all. The words I'd shared with her were true, but I couldn't let the friendship I had formed with her get in the way of being with Eisha. We were meant to be together, and she was everything to me. I couldn't let my sexual desire ruin everything that had taken me centuries to achieve. I finally had the opportunity to be with the one woman I had dreamed about from the second I first looked into her eyes. Even as a boy I never "discovered girls." It was she, and only she. My very first fantasy had been of Eisha. The first time I ever got aroused, felt pleasure and desire was because of her. I wanted Eisha by my side, more than anything. I needed her to love me. I couldn't afford to do anything to compromise what we could be together.

  Last night I'd almost made love to Lia and fuck. Everything in me protested at the thought, and the worst part was, I wasn't sure if it felt that way because I had almost been with her, or because I hadn't gotten the chance. Her moans were still fresh in my ears and the way her body shuddered and tensed under mine as she became undone for me… Damn it! How could I be so fucking weak? What the hell had possessed me last night??

  Whatever it was, it had to stop. Now.

  I shut my eyes tightly, erasing the images, and tried to mute the sounds that came over and over, torturing me.

  Enough.

  Taking a deep breath, I stood from my desk and walked towards the student's workstations. My eyes roamed their 3D models pretending to inspect them as I walked by, but another image snuck up to my mind. Lia's silhouette in the middle of the night, as she laid on the bed silently crying. I laid on the sofa, looking at her and feeling like the world was crumbling around me because I couldn't reach her. I couldn't go to her. No, that wasn't the truth. I could have walked up to Lia and laid beside her. I could have taken her into my arms and make the tears stop. I also could have kissed her, and finish what only a few hours earlier I'd been only too eager to do. Make love to her.

  Last night I'd wanted to feel every inch of Lia under my lips. Touch her in a way she had never been touched before. Give in to her every wish, and fulfill her every desire. I'd wanted to give her pleasure like no one had ever felt, and give my body to her in such a way, that I'd never be myself again because from that moment on, I'd only be hers…

  It was precisely the reason why I hadn’t held her last night, and why I shouldn’t anymore. I had gotten too attached to Lia, but she wasn’t mine to comfort.

  Eisha was, and I had to focus on her.

  After making a date with Max and Peter to see the land in the next three weeks, I returned to the village.

  My first instinct was to go to my hut to see Lia. I had stepped out this morning before she awoke, but I knew I couldn't see her. There was something I needed to take care of. No matter how hard or heartbreaking it may be, I couldn't put it off any longer.

  The portal opened, and I found Seima sitting in bed. Her long golden hair fell in wet strands over her bare shoulders and back while she brushed it. She had just bathed, and the robe she wore was draped around her hips, giving me a full view of her back and waist. She titled her head as the air shifted and looked at me over her shoulder. Her eyes twinkled when she saw me, and a brilliant smile curved her soft lips. My chest tightened.

  “I am so pleased you came to see me, a chara. It has been too long since you were last here. I have missed you.” The words were said with excitement, as she stood from the bed and began walking towards me.

  The robe hung from her forearms, remaining open. It showed her flawless figure. She was truly beautiful. She stood before me and gave me a small kiss, but my lips didn't respond. Instead, I reached for the edges of her robe and gently pulled it up her body, covering her. She frowned.

  “I was hoping to speak to you, a chara.”

  Holding her hands, I brought them to my lips and kissed them. My eyes closed as soon as I felt her skin. I wasn't entirely sure I could do this. I guided her to the bed and sat beside her.

  “I love you, a chara.”

  She smiled at my words. "I know, Art. I love you too."

  I nodded caressing her cheek. "I will always be here for you. You are my friend, and I would do anything for you. That will never change…"

  The light in her eyes transformed. “But something must change?”

  "Yes. I know we have been together for a long time, and centuries of caring for one another are not easy to set aside. Still, I must. I can't be with you anymore, Seima. I'm sorry."

  Sadness began to fill her eyes, but she nodded. "I assumed something had occurred when you stopped coming to see me." Her hands left mine, and she grabbed the edge of her robe. "You are with Eisha at last?"

  “I am. She finally gave me a chance to be with her.”

  “I understand,” seima said, as tears began to gather in her eyes. “I am joyful for you, a chara. I sincerely am." Her hand cupped my cheek, caressing my cheekbone slowly. "You deserve to be happy, and so does she." She nodded, and a smile curved her lips, yet the tears began to fall from her eyes.

  My heart tore. “Seima…”

  She shook her head. "I am all right." A sob escaped her with the last word, and her hands flew to her face, covering it.

  I pulled her into my arms as the sobs began to shake her body. “I’m so sorry.”

  "No, Art. You should not be. This is no one's fault but my own." Her gaze settled on mine while the pain ran freely down her cheeks. "My innocence has been my downfall. I got used to having you here. To feel wanted, loved by you. I thought I would never be without you. An eternity is a long time to spend alone, and now you got your dream and I…" She stopped, trying to regain her composure but failed. Another sob escaped her lips as more tears fell. "I don't want to be alone."

  “You are not alone, Seima. I’m still here for you. Always.”

  “It is not the same, Art. It will never be.”

  "Go to him, Seima. Tell him how you feel."

  She shook her head. "We have discussed this before, Art. I cannot."

  "Then I shall speak to him myself. Make him see what his blind eyes have not. That he belongs with you."

  "Do not. He will never want me, Art. Not, when I cannot offer him a family, the one thing he desires most." Seima pulled away from my arms and got up, walking away and ripping a part of my soul in the process. "Just leave me be. I will find comfort again. You should not trouble yourself with this." She gripped the edge of the windowsill as the tears ran down her skin. "The Mother Goddess has wanted this for me. There is nothing any one can do. If being alone is my destiny, there is no use in fighting it. Her will shall be done."

  I walked towards her fighting the ache in my heart. My jaw worked as I restrained the tears. I had promised to be there for her alway
s, and now I was leaving her. Seima and I had been together for over nine hundred years, and there was nothing worse than knowing I was hurting her this way. I brought her into my arms again and held her as tight as I could manage.

  "I will always be here for you. I swear it." I kissed her lips and left small kisses all over her face. " I swear it," I repeated, carrying her in my arms and taking her to the bed.

  I enveloped her in my arms and held her with all the love I had ever felt for her. Seima gave into the pain, and I felt horrible for doing this to her, after everything we had shared together. Maybe I didn't deserve to be happy.

  The hours passed but I remained there with Seima, while her tears burned permanent trails down my skin.

  LIA

  * * *

  Day 15 without Art…

  There was no heaven like being in his arms, and no hell like knowing he loved someone else.

  I didn't know how all of this had happened, but once again everything had changed between Art and I. It had only taken one kiss. One real kiss for my world to be turned upside down and then burst into flames. One kiss for me to do the unthinkable… Betray a good friend.

  I could still feel his kisses on my neck. The shadow of his lips was still visible on my skin even after all this time.

  That night Art had marked me in more ways than one.

  "Please do not cry. I cannot bear it." Eghan said, wiping away my tears.

  "I'm sorry. I just feel so empty. Art pulled away from me. One minute he was there and then he disappeared. I understand why he did it. It was the right thing to do, except he's still here, in my heart.” I wiped my face bitterly. I had vowed never to cry for a man again, yet here I was. “I barely see him now. He spends the whole day out and then goes to see her every night after I fall asleep. When he returns, he sleeps on the sofa and by the time the morning comes he’s gone again.” I shook my head. “I guess he doesn’t owe me any explanations. I’m just a guest at his house. I’m in the way.”

  "You mean much more to Art. We are all aware of that," Ronan countered, giving me the tea he had prepared for me. It brought me even more pain. It was passion flower tea. The same Art always made for me, to help me rest and avoid the nightmares. I couldn't drink it. I set it on the table, and hugged the pillow to my chest again.

  Eghan sighed, holding my hand, and offered me a small smile. "Ronan will fight Art to defend your honor. He shall do as I ask."

  I chuckled in between my tears. Ronan rolled his eyes. It was so out of character for him that it took us by surprise. We laughed.

  “Go beat him up, husband. Bitch-slap him!”

  Ronan's eyes became so wide with alarm, I thought they would pop out of their sockets. Eghan looked at him dead serious. "Go!"

  “What have you done to my husband?” Ronan asked, finally sitting with us.

  Eghan and I chuckled, but I felt bad. It was evident Ronan was uncomfortable about something. He had not stopped fidgeting with anything he touched, since I admitted what had happened between Art and I.

  "I wanted to tell her," I said, resuming our conversation. "I wanted to confess to Seima what had happened." Eghan looked at me shocked, while Ronan just seemed worried.

  "I didn't. I won't. You have nothing to worry about. I thought it would be the right thing to do until I realized I wasn't doing it for her. I was doing it for me. It was nothing but a sad attempt to clear my conscience. To feel better about what I did. It was a mistake, and it will never happen again. She doesn't deserve to live with the pain of knowing what happened. Art obviously loves her, and I don't need to ruin what they have, but I do deserve to live with the guilt of what I did."

  Eghan and Ronan exchanged a glance, but they didn't say anything.

  "We shall always be here for you. You can talk to us about anything you wish. Your secrets are safe with us." Ronan said, kissing my cheek. "We love you dearly."

  I smiled. “I love you both too.”

  "Are you going to defend her honor now?" Eghan asked Ronan and looked at me amused. "Maybe you should be the one to tell him to go beat Art. He will do anything you ask. He has a crush on you."

  I gasped staring at Ronan. His face paled, and he looked at Eghan appalled. "I do not! She is a child, for Goddess' sake."

  I laughed. It was hilarious seeing Ronan this embarrassed. "It's ok Ronan. I mean I'm gorgeous, and you are only human. You won't be the first one to fall for my sexy charm." Eghan chuckled.

  Ronan sighed, frowning like Mr. grouchy pants. "I do not see her that way. I regard her as a daughter. That's all." He mumbled, almost ashamed.

  “Awe, Ronan!”

  I jumped him, hugging the life out of him as I sat on his lap. He hugged me too while chuckling at my antics. I loved his butt so much, he would never understand. He had been a real friend. He helped me with my trauma and the nightmares. I still had a long path ahead of me, but I had begun to forgive and let go thanks to him. Granted, I had a small set back a few days ago when I accidentally overheard Art and Cyn talking about Felix, but I was working on it. Thankfully, Art had been there me for me that night. He held me in his arms like before, and for a moment it was as though nothing had happened between us. I hadn't wanted to let him go. On the other hand, it had reminded me of how much I missed him now. Of how much Art had taken from me by pulling away. I blinked, interrupting my train of thought and preventing it from going any further. I planted a big kiss on Ronan's cheek and sat back on the bed.

  "The truth is we both do," Eghan confessed. "We have always wished we could have children. Unfortunately, that is not in our destiny due to the nature of our relationship. Then you arrived in the village, and in a way, it is as though our wish came true."

  “Damn it! Now I’m going to cry again!”

  I complained a little too late. Eghan hugged me, and I could physically feel the love flowing through him and into me. New tears spilled from my eyes. No wonder Eghan followed my craziness, and complied with my every wish. He was like a father letting his six-year-old paint his nails glitter pink. I chuckled, wiping my cheeks and leaning back. Their smiles widened.

  "You know, in my world couples like you can have children and a family." Their eyes widened. I nodded smiling. "They can adopt a baby, or have a surrogate help them carry and deliver the child for them. The second option is a lot more complex and requires modern medical technology that is not available here, though."

  Eghan frowned. "Adopt a baby?"

  "Yes. When a woman gets pregnant and doesn't want the child, she can put it up for adoption so couples that can't have kids, like you, can adopt them and have the opportunity of a family."

  "Why wouldn't anyone want their child?" Eghan asked appalled.

  "Life is hard sometimes, and maybe they can't offer them the love and security they deserve."

  Eghan nodded understanding. "I would love to live in your world, but we do not. No one here would give up their child for us."

  "You are all the family I need," Ronan vowed, holding Eghan's hand and kissed it. I could see the emotion in their eyes. The love. It was weird to see these guys look only a few years older than me and realize the life they had actually lived.

  "Wait! If you guys consider me your daughter, does that mean we can't have a threesome anymore?" They laughed. "Damn. I thought I was working you two all this time. Typical."

  Ronan chuckled and stood, kissing my forehead. “Would you like something to eat?”

  I nodded, and my eyes followed him to the kitchen. He took a fruit that looked just like a brown coconut except it was smooth outside, and opened it. It was a bit familiar, but it wasn't until he grabbed the white, fleshy chunks inside, and stripped the big seeds from them that I recognized it. It must be in season because that was the same fruit Cathair had fed me just before… crap.

  “So… something else happened.”

  I said, cringing at the thought of my newly acquired set of fathers learning about my sexual escapades. Of course, I didn't know they were my Dad's before I
told them about my heavy petting session with Art two weeks ago.

  “What has happened?” Ronan asked bringing me the bowl of fruit with a spoon. He gave one to Eghan too.

  “I’m kind of dating Cathair.” They gasped. I cringed. “And by Dating I totally mean I had sex with him… twice.”

  "Dear mother Goddess," Ronan said, rubbing his temples.

  "What? Daughter not looking so adorable anymore?" Ronan sighed, and for a moment I thought I was actually talking to my Dad. Except my real Dad had met my Mom, so the things I did weren't really a surprise. She was a handful. "Well I'm sorry, but my mother always said, ‘Un clavo saca a otro clavo,’ which means the best way to get over a man is getting under another one. So there you have it.” I crossed my arms and raised my chin.

  Eghan repressed a smile. “Cathair, huh?” I nodded. “I approve of that threesome.”

  We laughed when Ronan practically growled.

  "I am yours, and only yours," Eghan vowed, kissing him.

  My heart smiled. They were so perfect together.

  “Ok, save me the lecture for another time. I want to know how my ‘new fathers’ fell in love.”

  “I seduced him,” Eghan answered right away, not giving Ronan a chance to breathe.

  I chuckled. “Sexy.”

  "Essentially, I tried to be where he would be just so he would see me everywhere. I told him that I loved him and we belonged together repeatedly, until he had no choice but to give in.” Eghan added smirking.

  “Stalker love. Even better.”

  Ronan chuckled. “That is not what transpired.”

  "It is not?" Eghan asked pretending to be surprised.

  "You know as much. You are merely offering false information, so I will decide to correct you and tell the story in the process."

  Eghan winked at me. Ronan chuckled taking the empty bowls from us, and placing them on the kitchen counter.