Worthy of Magic (The Ancient Magic Series Book 4)

by Stephany Wallace

  Fuck. I stepped in front of Lia blocking her from him. His royal markings were glowing again. He didn’t give up, did he?

  “Can you please stop using your royal markings to seduce these women?” Kyr sounded like he had enough of Ash's games. I didn't take my eyes from Ash as he tried to look over me at Lia. It was all a game to him, but she wasn't a game to me. I wasn't letting him seduce her.

  “Oh come on!” Ash said, laughing. “That's one of my coolest tricks.”

  "Lia is not yours to seduce," I said, and he frowned.

  “Hey, you know how this works. I taught you everything you know. You should be facilitating things for me, brother, not making them more difficult.” Ash added, swinging his arm over my shoulder. He winked at me and my gaze became murderous.

  "Not with her," I answered in a clipped voice. I was really going to punch him, which would not be ideal considering Ash had part of his royal guard with him. Right now though, I didn't really care.

  “Oh, she's yours? I'm sorry, brother. I respect that.”

  "She's not mine." Art answered while something in my chest reacted to his statement. I didn’t like where the conversation was going.

  “Then who's is she?” Ash asked, looking at Lia behind me. Then his eyes focused on someone else to my right. “Hhmm, I see. My apologies, Warrior. I meant no disrespect.”

  My head spun in the direction Ash had looked towards, and my heart briefly stopped. He was talking to Cathair. No. That wasn't possible. Why the fuck would he say that to Cathair? I stared him down expecting a response to my silent question, as my heart now thundered in my chest. My blood had begun boiling with the insinuation, but Cathair's gaze was fixed on Ash. He looked as though he wanted to gut him. Damn it. I knew that look. No. It wasn't true. It couldn't fucking be.

  “Interesting,” Ash added, looking at me and stepped back.

  The voices became muffled and disappeared in the background, but I couldn’t drag my eyes away from the man I had called my friend. The one who had promised me he would talk to me if his interest in Lia became serious.

  My eyes remained on him, as I began to walk towards the trees that bordered the village. Our shoulders collided harshly as I passed him, making him take a step back to regain his balance. I felt him turn and begin to follow me, but I continued forward until I reached the trees.

  When my feet finally stopped, I was rooted in place. There was a storm of emotions raging inside me, and I wasn't sure I would be able to control them.

  “Is it true?”

  "Art, brother…" he didn't really answer, but he didn't need to. His words were filled with guilt.

  I shut my eyes as what felt like volcanoes began to explode inside me, burning through me. “Have you touched her?

  I got nothing but silence.

  “Have. You. Touched. Her?” My fists trembled at my sides with rage, and a part of me feared what I might do if the answer was yes.

  "We have been intimate with each other."

  I shut my eyes as the world violently dipped under my feet. The blood roared in my ears, and I couldn't hear anything else, I couldn't think, I couldn't process. I was trying with everything inside me not to kill him.

  “When did it start?” I asked through my teeth.

  “Art…”

  I whirled around. “When?!" I shouted, of the top of my lungs. My swords materialized in my grasp in response to my outburst.

  Cathair stepped back but maintained my gaze.

  "About three weeks ago."

  Everything stopped at once. My breathing. The boiling blood that rushed through my veins. The storm that had torn me apart inside, and even the thunderous beating of my heart.

  Three weeks ago had been right after I almost made Lia mine. Had she run to Cathair as a result? Had I pushed her into his arms?

  Cold and emptiness replaced it all. Ice traveled through my veins as I paled. A gaping hole opened up in my chest, and I couldn't find an ounce of air to breathe in this damn rainforest. Lia had given herself to him. The swords fell from my grasp and disappeared, returning to their essence. My eyes roamed the trees before me, but I couldn't see anything. I still couldn't breathe. I had to get out of there.

  I walked passed Cathair, without even looking at him. I couldn’t.

  "Art, brother. Please let me explain!" He called after me.

  “I am not your brother.”

  When I stepped back into the party, I couldn't focus on anything. My gaze went straight to Lia and her eyes filled with alarm once they settled on me. I didn't know what she saw on my face, but I hoped it was nothing like what I felt inside. Her gaze shifted behind me to Cathair, and once her eyes returned to mine the emotion in them changed to pain and regret. I began walking away from her, but Kyr stopped next to me and leaned closer.

  "I can feel a disruption of energy in the forest, by the mountain behind the river. It would be wise of you to check on your prisoner at once."

  I took a deep breath allowing the Warrior in me to take over. The man was worthless right now. My eyes immediately went to Cyn, and I maintained his gaze as I called the others. He would know something was happening, but I didn’t want to ruin this moment for him and Bri.

  "Cathair, Ronan, I need you to come with me." My gaze moved behind Lia but I could still feel her watching me. "Seima, where is Eghan?"

  “He went to look for Eisha.”

  “Tell him to meet us at the cave. I need him too.”

  When my gaze returned to Lia, I saw her eyes glistening with unshed tears. My heart constricted in response, but I ignored it and took off to the trees with the others behind me, opening a portal to Felix's cave.

  This was just another reminder that I needed to let go of Lia, and focus on what I had with Eisha.

  CHAPTER 12. FORGIVENESS

  LIA

  * * *

  Day 46…

  “I forgive you… I forgive you… I…” the tears fell from my swollen eyes as I repeated the words over and over again, looking at myself in the mirror.

  The memories of what had transpired at the cave, when Felix and his family had kidnapped Bri and me replayed in my mind, slicing through my soul just like the scalpel had my skin. My hands trembled as they tightly held the edge for the washbasin, but with each image, I repeated the words Ronan had ingrained in me during therapy for the last couple of months.

  I needed to forgive, if not for Felix, then for myself.

  "I forgive you," I whispered, and my lips quivered, the words cut off. I swallowed down the sob and took a settling breath. “I forgive you.”

  The warmth of Ronan’s hand settled on my shoulder, and I could feel his comfort and encouragement traveling through me. Thanks to him I had been able to forgive Felix for many things, yet the one act that had marked me for life, was still the one I feared I might never be able to forgive.

  Felix's face returned to me. He stood still as his father beat up Briana and Julius plunged his scalpel into my thighs repeatedly. The sob escaped me this time, and I shook my head as the pain inside me won.

  "I can't do it, Ronan. He just stood there while we were tortured. He watched while I begged him again and again to help us." My voice broke, and Ronan pulled me into his arms.

  “It is all right, Mo leanabh milis”—My sweet child. Forgiveness takes time.

  I rested my cheek on his chest and accepted the solace he was offering me.

  "Is it better now?" Ronan asked, and I nodded stepping out of his embrace.

  “Thank you.”

  “It is no use to force ourselves to do something we are not ready for. Nevertheless, sometimes we need someone to help us get there.”

  “You’ve helped me a lot Ronan. I wouldn’t have begun to heal if it wasn’t for you. In fact, I wouldn’t be able to endure much right now if it wasn’t for you.”

  He smiled. “I know, and I shall be here for you always. However, that is not what I meant.”

  I frowned looking at him. “What do you mean then?”
/>
  “On occasion, it is easier to absolve someone when we have allowed them to ask for our forgiveness.”

  “You want me to go see Felix?”

  “He has realized his mistakes. He is trying to change, but it would be easier if we gave him a chance to do it.”

  "I'm not sure I can face him…"

  “Perhaps he will be the one who cannot face you.”

  I shut my eyes closing myself to the possibility that Felix had repented for what he had done. Could he be experiencing his own kind of torture after realizing what he had allowed the others to do to us? Ronan held me again and kissed my forehead. I welcomed the hug, but I couldn't help wishing it were Art's arms around me right now. I hated myself for it. Ronan was a dear friend and had been there for me so many times. Especially since the engagement party, but I missed Art so much it was killing me. Ever since he found out about Cathair and I… My throat closed up again, and I had to shut my eyes to repress the tears.

  “What has happened? Are you alright?”

  I lifted my gaze to Ronan's and nodded, but a new tear escaped me. It was hard to believe what a mess my life had turned out to be. I never thought things could get worse between Art and I, yet they had.

  “Art didn’t come home last night.” Another tear slid down my skin as the pain ripped through my chest, Ronan wiped it. "He's never done that before. I know we are barely speaking now, and I imagine he was with her last night. Still, I thought he would at least have the decency to let me know that he was spending the night away so that I wouldn’t worry about him.”

  "It is unlike Art to disappear without announcing where he will be in case someone needs him," Ronan added baffled. "Something must have happened. It is not in his nature to act with such disregard for someone else."

  I nodded. “I agree. I was worried sick about him until I concluded that he was with Seima. I haven’t even seen him today, but I’m assuming he’s fine. Maybe Seima asked him to stay."

  Ronan frowned. "Seima? He is not..." His words cut off when Eghan walked through the door. They looked at each other, and a silent exchange passed between them. Eghan kissed my cheek and held my hand which was strange. He always gave us space when we were in therapy.

  Ronan sighed, his attention returning to me. "I am sorry to hear that, Lia, but there is something you must know.”

  He guided me to the bed and we sat on it. “Art is not with Seima. He is with Eisha.”

  My heart began to slam against my ribs. What the hell was he talking about? Ronan remained quiet as though waiting for a response but I couldn’t process. I blinked looking at my hand as Eghan rubbed it soothingly.

  “The thing is, “Eghan added, forcing me to look at him. “Art has been in love with Eisha for as far as I can remember.”

  “And long before that,” Ronan Added. “It was not my place to tell you, but I did not want your heartbreak to be unbearable if you ever saw them together. I believe things are becoming more serious between them.”

  And there it was. The blow I couldn’t handle. “Art lied to me,” I whispered, feeling the tear in my heart. Btu it couldn’t be. I had seen him with Seima.

  “Perhaps he was with Seima prior to this,” Ronan spoke again. “Nevertheless, I know Art has always been ruled by the feelings he has for Eisha. If she showed any interest in him, and gave him a chance, he would have taken it without a single thought.

  I nodded understanding that I my situation was even worse than I imagined. I wasn’t second to Seima. I was third to Eisha, and I couldn’t even begin to compare myself to her.

  “He lied to me,” I whispered, feeling numb. “The one thing I asked him to never do to me. He lied.”

  Eghan shook his head. “He did not. Art kept from you something he thought you would not understand. Perhaps even the thing he feared would make you see him differently.” His hand cupped my cheek as a fresh tear rolled over my cheek. “Sometimes our wants are irrational. We focus so intently in them, until we convince ourselves that what we desire and what we need are one in the same.”

  “In my experience,” Ronan interceded. “That is never the case. Perhaps Art didn’t tell you because he was afraid of what you would think of him.”

  “I assume that is the reason you did not tell Art about Cathair,” Eghan said, with a certainty that crushed me.

  The look in Art’s eyes, after he found out about Cathair returned to me. There was such pain in them. I had lied to Art, because I couldn’t bear to have him look at me the way he had, as though I had betrayed his trust, by having a relationship with Cathair. It was the same feeling squeezing my chest at this moment after learning he was with Eisha. I nodded, realizing Eghan’s words were true, and wiped my cheeks.

  “I think I’m going to go home and lay down for a while.”

  “That sounds like a marvelous idea. Some rest will do you good.” Ronan agreed, kissing my forehead again.

  "Or you could stay here, and take a nap with us," Eghan offered with a kind smile. "Ronan and I give the best cuddles."

  I chuckled. "A Lia sandwich with you two? Mother May I?" I wiggled my eyebrows, and they laughed.

  "You might be mistaken the type of cuddles we are offering," Eghan answered chuckling.

  "Damn. Way to kill a girl's dream." I kissed both their cheeks an d stood from the bed. "Thank you, but I think I want to be alone for a bit."

  * * *

  I stepped into Art's hut, and as expected it was empty. It didn't even look like he had been here at all. I sighed and closed all the shutters, leaving the space in darkness although it was early afternoon. Taking my shoes off, I laid on the bed and brought Art's pillow to my chest, hugging it. His baby scent enveloped me, and sleep soon dragged me under.

  A warm touch reached my cheeks bringing me out of my slumber. I tried to open my eyes, but I wasn't fully able. I felt strange. I wasn't awake, but I didn't feel like I was still sleeping. There was this feeling…

  The touch remained, and I could feel the small hands getting warmer on my skin. Once again, I tried to open my eyes, but a soft light clouded my vision, then the images began. I stood in a dark space. It was cool and a bit humid. My gaze roamed the surroundings, and my heartbeat picked up speed. I was in a cave. Had the Romans captured me again? No. I couldn't be here again. No.

  “Shhh. There is no need to panic. You are all right, Lia. You remain in Art’s hut. Safe. This is only a memory I’m sharing with you.”

  A young girl said as though she could feel my agitated state. Was she here with me? Was it her hands I felt? Other voices filled the cave and realized I wasn't alone. The image in front of me changed, as though someone was zooming in and I saw Felix sitting on a bed. It was he in the cave, but he didn't look like the Felix I knew. He was skinny, like "a second away from walking a fashion runway" skinny. He looked emaciated and was barely covered by a sheet. Seeing him this way made my chest constrict. My gaze fell on Eisha. She was sitting next to him.

  “Are you ok? Did you get hurt? You didn’t get burnt did you?”

  Felix asked her anxiously. Was he worried about her?

  Tears spilled from Eisha’s eyes, and I could see the distress in him at the sight of her. He seemed to care about her.

  “Don’t cry, please. I can’t see you cry.”

  Felix reached for her, I assumed to wipe her tears away, but closed his fist a second before his fingers touched her skin. Eisha’s eyes widened when she saw his gesture, and she leaned back in the chair, wiping the tears away herself.

  I frowned.

  “I am alright. Thanks to you. Why would you put yourself at risk for me that way? Why would you catch me when you were certain it could harm you?”

  "I just had to."

  "Thank you,” she whispered, and her voice quivered.

  Felix shook his head. "Don't thank me. The last thing you should ever do is thank me."

  “Why?”

  "Do you really have to ask? I've taken away too much from you, and even after realizing what
I have done, I haven't even had the balls to say I'm sorry."

  She looked at him as though trying to find something in his eyes. “Are you sorry?”

  Felix held Eisha's gaze, and I could see the pain and regret in his eyes. He nodded, and the muscles of his jaw strained.

  “I’m sorry would never be enough.”

  “Yet, it could be the first step.”

  “I’m truly sorry I killed your friend, Eisha. I realize now how horrible that was. I was wrong. Please forgive me for killing Phelan.”

  I stared at him in shock. He was sorry for what he had done? What his family had done?

  Eisha nodded contented by his apology, as the tears fell freely over her cheeks, and she offered him a small smile.

  "I forgive you." She said, whipping the tears from her cheeks.

  He nodded, and although there was relief, it was too brief. Felix's eyes filled with a pain so deep it felt like my own.

  The image disappeared, and I was back on Art's hut, laying down on his bed. When I opened my eyes this time, I noticed the silhouette of a girl right next to me. I should have been scared, but I wasn't. Had she just shown me the vision?

  "Was that true? Did he actually ask for forgiveness?" She nodded. I tried to see her face, but the hood of the robe she wore covered her in shadows. "Who are you?"

  She tilted her head, and the sliver of light coming through the window shutters illuminated her eyes. They were a beautiful dark green.

  "It's time to forgive." She said, instead of answering my question.

  Ronan’s words returned to me.

  “In occasion, it is easier to absolve someone when we have allowed them to ask for our forgiveness.”

  “Should I go see him?” I asked.

  "That is your decision. I just came to give you a little nudge." She stood, and her hand lifted to her neck. She touched a stone necklace.