by J. Nichole
I stop walking and look up at Jason. "I'm good." His description of the fish fry they are throwing at the frat house makes my stomach growl. "I don't have too long before my next class."
"Oh, when he's back I'm sure you'll be around." He looks at me then covers his mouth. "I'll see you next class."
Chapter Thirteen
My phone has been ringing non-stop for the past few hours; from my parents checking on me to the newspaper staff coordinating a meeting point and perspectives for the paper. When a freshman was leaving a party last night he was shot by the police. The students of L.U. organized a march to the governor's mansion.
"I can't believe this shit." Nicole wipes tears from her face. "Watching the incidents in the news have infuriated me. These attacks on people of color have to stop." Monica paces the floor with her phone glued to her ear. "Have you heard from Jennifer?" She looks to me while she rakes her hand through her hair.
"I haven't. I'll call a few of her L.O.S. sisters." Jennifer is a member of a dance troupe on campus, and if she isn't with us she's usually with them. "Nicole, you have to calm down." Nicole is typically the confident one. Seeing her all shaken up is making this situation worse.
Monica drops the phone on the couch and grabs Nicole by the shoulders. "Come here." Nicole wraps her arms around Monica and cries on her shoulder. "More details are coming out and it's worse than what we heard."
I whisper to Monica, "Maybe keep the details. Nothing you can tell us will make this situation any worse than it already is..." I collapse on the couch and say, "Nothing he could have been doing would require a bullet to stop him."
Monica tells us about the march and what has been organized in the few hours since the incident. She'll be walking with the other class presidents, but we'll be nearby.
I thumb through my contacts a few times looking for Jennifer's troupe members, but I can't remember any of their names. Nicole looks at me and asks, "Did you check on Jennifer?" She paces the room a few times before grabbing her phone. "I can find her."
My phone vibrates and I walk to my room to answer the call. "Hey."
"Laila, are you okay?" Josh breathes heavy into the phone. "I just heard about the freshman down there who got shot."
"I don't know." Sobs begin to drown out my voice and I realize the sobs are coming from me. "Before you asked me how I was doing, I was okay." I lean against my door then say, "This is all beginning to be too much." Josh doesn't confirm he hears me but I know he is listening. "When will it stop?"
“I wish I had answers for you.” He clears his throat and whispers, “I wish I had answers for the black community.” I tell him about the march and the article I'll need to craft for the paper. "Be safe out there during the march. We've seen one too many marches that spawn more problems for us."
"I wish that weren't the case but I will make sure I keep my head on the swivel." Monica already briefed us on the do's and don'ts of the march. We promised we'd stay nearby her at all times and she ensured us there would be officers in attendance.
"Call me when you get home from the march?" He takes a deep breath before he says goodbye.
Jennifer is in the living room with the girls. Her face is stained with eyeliner and her hair is matted on top of her head. She stops mid-sentence when I walk towards her and we hug, her body frail within my embrace. "Are you okay?"
Monica responds, "She was at the same club last night." We all squeeze beside each other on the same couch while Jennifer tells us about the night.
"A fight broke out and we all got shuffled outside. The cops pulled up and tried to disperse the crowd." She closes her eyes and says, "The guys who were fighting inside started fighting again and the cops sprayed pepper spray in the air." Nicole begins to cry. "People started running and the cops followed a few guys."
"Does anyone need something to drink?" Monica walks towards the kitchen. Nicole nods her head. Monica hands us each a bottle of water. Jennifer continues the story but her words sound distorted. I get off the couch and lie on the floor.
Nicole and Jennifer decide they are both too emotionally drained to march. If it weren't for the newspaper I'd probably stay back with them. Instead Monica and I ride in silence to campus. We join the crowd gathered in front of the library. The president of the university stands on the steps before us, his polo and khakis starched to perfection and speaks to the crowd. "We have to stand for something or fall for anything. With each step we take on this march remember why and who we are marching for. Don't let your emotions get the best of you, and most of all remain peaceful." Before we begin he says a prayer over us and we begin walking.
The freshman class leads the march, walking hand and hand, followed by the student government representatives, and finally a mix of everyone else. Along the way Tallahassee residents join the march. Even though the sun is relentless and the dense crowd stifles the air we are marching on.
News reporters and cameramen are scattered in front of the governor's mansion. Someone begins a chant, "We matter, we matter," and everyone joins along. Observing the crowd, I take notes for the paper and I begin to wonder if the other journalists will have the same perspective; if the other journalists will be empathetic.
The student body president takes the loud speaker and he says, "Jace McFadden. Another name we must add to the long list of men and women killed by improperly trained police. The narrative is the same. We'll hear what Jace could have done to prevent his death." He paces the length of the mansion. "But unlike the others that have gone before him, he was one of our own." He clears his throat and hangs his head. "We want answers and we want justice."
The crowd begins to chant again, "We matter, we matter!" The freshman class president takes the loud speaker and begins to elaborate on the night and how we must be our brother's keeper. How we must encourage the de-escalation of fights so that the cops are not called in hot and ready.
Someone taps my shoulder and I turn around to face Jason with a downturned smile. "Hey, I saw you taking notes." He points to the journalists surrounding us. "This story will be in more than a few media outlets tomorrow." I nod my head in agreement.
Different student organizations are usually at most of the freshman parties to welcome them to campus. Just like Jennifer was at the party representing Ladies of Sophistication, I'm sure there were a few fraternities and sororities there too. "Were you at the party last night?" Jason's eyes widen then he looks down at my notebook.
"Are you looking for inside details?" A smile tries to creep onto his face but it leaves as the crowd begins their chant.
"No, thankfully I'm not covering the party in my piece. I don't think I can manage hearing the details from multiple people. Just wanted to make sure you were alright if you were there."
He wraps his arm around my shoulder and I look up at him as he says, "Thanks for asking. I never expected this could happen here in Tallahassee." He shrugs his shoulders. "Not to someone from L.U., especially not a freshman."
I take a deep breath. "I can't imagine how the other freshmen feel right now. A horrible way to start off their college experience."
The mayor of Tallahassee is on the loud speaker, as a former L.U. graduate he empathizes with us. He describes the marches he participated in while he was in school. He confirms none were ever as important as ours today.
Jason squeezes my shoulder and says, "What do you think they were marching about when he was in school?"
My phone vibrates and I look to see who is calling, and it's Josh. The crowd is too noisy for me to hear anything. The phone stops ringing and a text displays.
Josh: How's the march going?
Laila: It's tough. Ready to get home and unwind.
Josh: Alright. Let's go.
I feel a tap on my shoulder and jump. Jason looks down at me with his eyebrow cocked. "You alright?" I nod my head and then turn around.
"Josh?" A smile spreads across his face and then he looks at Jason's arm around my shoulder.
"Thought yo
u could use a break from all of this." He looks me in the eyes then shakes his head. "Maybe I should have told you before making that drive here. Then finding you in the crowd."
Jason looks between the two of us and then says, "Oh shit, sorry man." He moves his arm from around my shoulder and reaches out to shake Josh's hand. "I'm Jason. We have a class together."
Josh shakes his hand and introduces himself. I turn to Jason and say, "I'll see you in class." Jason opens his mouth to say something but closes it and waves as I walk out of the crowd. "This is truly a surprise." I turn to Josh and he wraps me in his arms.
"When I spoke to you earlier I just wanted to be able to see you and make sure you were okay." He kisses the top of my head. "Sorry to just pop up on you."
"I appreciate it. Driving over two hours to check on me." I squeeze him tight. "Wanna give me a ride?" He nods his head. "Let me tell Monica I'll meet her at the apartment." He follows closely behind me.
Jennifer and Nicole are still on the couch where we left them when I walk through the door. When they realize I'm not with Monica they straighten up. Nicole pats her hair down and looks at me with her eyebrows scrunched.
Josh sits on the chair beside them and asks, "How are you two?" I stand with my hands crossed over my chest and lean against the kitchen table.
Nicole looks at Josh and says, "Doing better now." She turns to me and says, "But I think Laila has the right idea."
"What?" I laugh at Nicole and cock my head to wait for her to respond.
"Getting dicked down will distract you from the crazy events of the day." She grabs her phone and walks towards her room, whispering, "Who can I call?" Her bench of ready and willing fuck buddies is always full, and I'm sure she won't have a problem finding someone to keep her busy.
Jennifer stands and says, "Guess that's my cue to go to my room."
Josh throws his arms in the air and says, "I didn't mean to scare everyone away." He pats his leg and calls me over to him. "Come sit with me?" I position myself on his lap and lean against his shoulder. "Nicole has the right idea." He kisses me behind my ear. "Is there anything I can do to occupy your mind?" Moisture pools between my legs and my thighs begin to shake.
I take him by the hand and guide him to my room. After shutting the door I say, "What were you thinking?" I wrap my arms around his neck and look into his hazel eyes.
He looks around my room, gazing over my head at my bed with the covers sliding off the side and my pillows thrown onto the floor. "Did you rush out of the house today?" Josh has never been in my personal space, and today it looks as though it imploded.
"Something like that." I reach down and grab a pillow off the floor throw it on the bed and lie back. I wiggle my eyebrows at him, with my lips puckered up. "Tell me again what you can do to de-stress me?"
He leans down and unlaces my shoes, throwing each one across the room. "I imagined you'd have a clean room. Everything in its place." He massages my foot and works up to my thigh.
"Usually it's fairly clean." I close my eyes as his hand lands between my thighs and eases into my panties. Rubbing circles over my clit my heels dig deep into the mattress and I scoot across the bed. Josh encircles my calf with his free hand and stills my movement. He crawls over me and kisses my neck.
"No biggie." He covers my mouth with his and darts his tongue into my mouth. "We would've made a mess of it anyway," he says before kissing me again. He turns onto his back and pulls me on top of him. "Is this okay?" I moan in response. He reaches into his pocket and I hear the crinkle of plastic.
I pull my shirt over my head and throw it to the floor, and Josh pulls my pants down over my hips. I toe them off and kick them to the floor. I climb off of him as he pulls his clothes off. He's gained a little weight since he graduated but his abs are still intact. He catches me staring at him and flexes his pecks.
His eyes skim my body from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet, and then he lies on top of me. His manhood brushes against my clit and I grab his face for a kiss. He dodges my lips and slips down my body, kissing between my legs instead. He stays there until my body begins to quiver and I can no longer sustain the anticipation of the climax. I dig my nails into his back and moan out in release when I finally come. "That moan alone almost sucked everything out of me."
My body relaxes into the bed and he positions himself above me. He lowers himself down with his manhood hovering between my legs. He makes eye contact before inching himself inside of me. When he can't go any further he grunts. Then he moves in and out, in and out, until we are both panting. He wraps his arm around my waist, flips over, and mounts me on top of him.
My hips rock back and forth into a steady rhythm. Josh rubs circles into my lower back and I lean in to kiss him. He thrusts into me and I moan into his mouth. My mind goes numb and my body jerks. I drop my head onto his shoulder and he rolls us onto our sides. "How are you feeling?"
"Great." He rubs my ear between his fingers. "I could take a nap."
"Let's do it." He pulls my blanket off the floor and covers us both. "I have a few hours before I need to head home." I scoot against him while he wraps me in his arms.
A knock at the door wakes me, but Josh doesn't move. I'm still cradled in his arms as he sleeps, breathing deeply. I move his arm and crack the door open.
Nicole looks at me and shakes her head. "Come out for a minute," she whispers.
Chapter Fourteen
I look back at Josh with his eyes closed tight, and then I grab my shirt and throw it over my head. I close the door behind me and say, "What's up?"
Nicole looks at my shirt then says, "Maybe grab some bottoms." She looks towards the front door. When I don't move she waves her hands at me. "Like now."
After I pull on my shorts I tell Nicole, "Alright, what's your issue?" Nicole looks between the front door and my bedroom door. "Nicole, what the hell? You're acting crazy."
"Chris is here." She looks at the front door. "I told him to wait outside." My eyes bulge and I put my hand over my chest to still my fast heartbeat.
"What the fuck?" I close my eyes and pray that Josh is still asleep. "But why is he here?"
Nicole shrugs her shoulders and points towards the door. "Ask him."
I walk to the door and open it. Chris isn't standing in front of the door. I step out and look at the stairs. Chris is walking down the stairs. I try to say his name but the only thing that I can do is clear my throat. He turns around and a smile crosses his face and he hurries back up the steps. When he reaches me I say, "What are you doing here?"
He shoves his hands in his pockets. "I planned on coming next weekend, but with everything going on I wanted to be here sooner."
I look at him with my eyes squinted. "Everything going on?" He convinces me that he couldn't stay away while everyone is here protesting on Jace's behalf. I lean against the door and say, "That explains why you are in Tallahassee. But why are you here?"
He shifts from his right to left foot, and back left to right. "I owe you an apology, an explanation."
I shake my head and say, "It's not a good time." Chris reaches out for me and puts his hand on my arm. I move my arm away from him as the door opens. Josh looks between the two of us and says, "Are you okay?"
Nicole pulls the door open and looks around Josh. "Sorry," she mouths to me then stares at Chris.
Chris looks at me and says, "My bad, Nicole didn't tell me you were busy." We all look at Nicole and she hunches her shoulders. "I'll be at the frat house." His mouth downturned, he clears his throat and says, "Come by when you're free?"
I don't respond, and my feet can't move. I'm forced to watch him walk away, back down the stairs out of sight. I stand thinking about what I would've said a few months ago if he showed up on my doorstep. I would like to think I would have cursed him out for showing up, for dragging my heart through hell again at the sight of him, for acting concerned, when before, he showed little compassion for my feelings. But I'm here. Speechless.
"Laila.
.." Both Josh and Nicole are screaming trying to get my attention. I turn to look at them but before my tears can form streams, I walk into Josh's arms and allow him to take me into the apartment. As we walk back into my room Nicole asks if I'm okay, and just like I ignored Chris, I let her question float in the air.
"I didn't know he would show up here." I look down at my hands. "Today is full of surprises."
Josh grabs my chin and looks me in the eyes. "Laila, I came here because I was concerned about you." He kisses my forehead. "I'm sure he means well too." He sighs. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss his lips.
He backs away and takes a seat on my bed. He clears the pillows from beside him and grabs my hand, easing me down beside him. "You know I want you." He licks his lips. "Bad." He traces a circle over my chest. "But I'm willing to wait until you know, without a doubt, you want me too."
My heart aches where his imaginary circle lies. As much as I want to give into my mind and test out being serious with Josh, my heart walked away with Chris. I grab his hand and nod. His eyes close and he leans his forehead against mine. Neither of us moves, not another word is spoken.
Josh stands up and grabs the door handle, and when the door opens he says, "When you're ready, call me." I hear Nicole speak to him before he leaves.
She knocks on my door, although it's wide open. "Laila, I didn't know what to do. It was like I was waiting for the cameras to flash on like it was an episode of the worst plotted reality show."
I laugh and look at her sideways. "Well if we had to boot someone out of the house it would be you. Why wouldn't you just tell him I wasn't home?"
She taps her chin and squints, "Guess I could have said that." She looks away. "Are you okay? Josh didn't seem excited when he left."
Nicole is still lingering in the doorway, and I look around the room at my pillows and comforter sprawled out amongst the piles of books on the floor. "I feel how my room looks right now."