The Baby Plan

by Tia Siren

  “Sometimes you have to show a person they need you. They may not realize it until you make them see it.”

  “It’s fine, Junie. Really, I am glad you did right by the patient. It’s a sticky situation, and I think it’s best if we handle it with the utmost professionalism. We are a medical practice first. Our personal relationship can’t interfere with that. I’ll give her a call later if she doesn’t want to see me now. I’m not going to pressure her.”

  Junie scoffed. “If you say so, but I think you’re just as stubborn as she is.”

  Maybe so, but it didn’t change the facts. It was the right thing to do.

  I was still working in my office when I heard her voice in the hall. My heart leapt at the sound, and I silently pleaded for her to make the move to see me. I waited—and nothing. I walked to the door to pop my head out. Her eyes met mine, and I could see she was troubled. I waited, not approaching her. I couldn’t pressure her. Her shoulders were slumped and I could see by the way she was holding herself that something was terribly wrong.

  It was pretty simple to guess what that something was. I was sad for her, but deep down, relieved. I wasn’t sure how a pregnancy would impact our relationship. I was a little afraid she would dump me the second she found out she was pregnant. Even if she didn’t dump me, I would have to figure out how I fit into her life. She clearly didn’t want me to have anything to do with her child. That was not exactly conducive to a solid relationship.

  Instead of coming to me, like I had been hoping, she left. I stared after her, doing my best not to let my disappointment show.

  Junie walked over to where I stood staring. “She seems upset. Something had her distracted before I even did the test.”

  “Hmm,” I mumbled more to myself. She had seemed fine last night. What could have happened between then and now?

  “I drew her blood and promised to get back to her today,” Junie said with a sigh. “The urine test was negative.”

  I nodded. “Damn.”

  “She hid her disappointment, but I know she was crushed. I tried talking with her, but she seemed to be in a hurry.”

  I hoped it wasn’t because of me. “Can you send me the blood test results?”

  She hesitated but finally agreed. “I will, but I need to be the one who calls her with the results.”

  “Fine, yes.”

  Junie spun around and headed back down the hall to see the next patient. Just like that, it was back to work for us. We had crushed a woman’s hopes of being pregnant and now it was time to carry on with the day.

  I pushed away the feeling of sadness for Lara and got to work. I had a full schedule today. It was a typical Monday with emergency appointments stuffed into an already full schedule. I didn’t have a chance to sit down for lunch or check Lara’s blood test results. Deep down, I knew the urine test had likely been accurate. It was only her first round, and it wasn’t completely abnormal for it to fail the first time.

  There was also a slim chance that the test was too soon. Hopefully, her doctor would have her come in again next week to repeat the test. Delayed implantation was always a possibility. By the time I got through all my patients, it was close to four. I plopped down with the soggy sandwich I’d had sent in for lunch hours ago and took a few bites while I pulled up Lara’s chart. The blood test was negative for a pregnancy as well.

  Damn.

  I reached for the phone on my desk but quickly changed my mind. This was a personal call, and I didn’t want the clinic’s number showing up on her caller ID.

  She didn’t answer, which didn’t surprise me. I would leave her a voice mail.

  “Hey. I wanted to check in. Did you want to get some dinner tonight? I may be a little late, but I can bring something over or we can go out. Uh, Lara, I’m sorry. If you don’t want to talk about it, we won’t. If you do want to talk, I’m here. I don’t have to be your doctor. I can be your friend. Please call and let me know about tonight. I miss you,” I added as an afterthought.

  I hung up, not knowing what else to say. I could talk to patients all day about what Lara was going through, but I was too close to this particular situation. I personally knew how badly she wanted a baby and felt like I should be able to make it happen for her. If only medicine were foolproof.

  “Did you get ahold of her?” Junie asked from the doorway.

  I sighed. “No, I didn’t. Did you?”

  She shook her head. “No. I had to just leave her a message. I hate this part of my job. I wish every test result was positive. I feel so bad for these poor women.”

  “We do what we can. It was only her first round. She hadn’t been on the fertility meds very long. It really would have been more of a surprise if she had been pregnant.”

  “You’re right. Listen, your next patient is here, plus we have an extra patient. She’s having some cramping and is panicking. Work your magic and calm her down,” she said with a smile.

  “I’ll do what I can. I’m going to scarf down the rest of this horrible sandwich, and then I’ll be right in.”

  She chuckled as she shut the door behind her. I picked up my phone, checking to see if Lara had texted. Nothing. Of course not. It had only been a couple minutes. She was sad. I knew that. I wanted to make her feel better.

  I tossed the sandwich. The sooner I saw the last few patients, the sooner I could go see Lara.

  By the time I finished with my last patient, it was close to six. I still had no messages from Lara. I knew she had to have seen that I’d called and texted several times. She was intentionally ignoring me. I didn’t know if it was because she was depressed, embarrassed, or just not in the mood to see me, but I was going to make her tell me.

  Heading to her building, I planned to wait there until she got home. Yes, I knew I was getting dangerously close to the stalker line, but I had to make sure she was okay. I felt horrible for her and wanted to try to share her misery. She didn’t have to go through this alone.

  I couldn’t show up empty-handed, though. That gave me an idea. If I showed up with dinner, it would seem less stalker-like. I hoped so anyway.

  Chapter 25

  Lara

  I shouldn’t have been upset. I knew that. I’d expected this even. I’d been warned and cautioned against getting my hopes up, but I had done it anyway. Despite all the warnings, I had been clinging to the hope that I would, by some miracle, be pregnant.

  But I’d been assured my hormone levels were fine. My ovaries were working as they should. There was no reason I couldn’t get pregnant. I was healthy. This damn body of mine had no right to let me down! It pissed me off to think that other women got pregnant without even trying and here I was paying thousands of dollars for the chance to grow a child in my womb. It should have been a God-given right. If I had to suffer through a period every month, I should at least get to decide if I wanted a baby or not.

  Though in reality, my empty womb was the least of my problems.

  “Hello. Miss McCall for Mr. James,” I told the receptionist at the front desk of my attorney’s office.

  Mitchel’s attorney had filed paperwork last week and my attorney was just now made aware. Instead of being at work or sitting at home and crying over my failed attempt to get pregnant, I had to meet with my attorney. My grief would have to wait. Right now, I was pissed as hell and ready to fight Mitchel.

  “I’ll let him know you’re here,” the receptionist said.

  I sat down in one of the chairs in the lobby and picked up a magazine. I wasn’t interested in reading anything, but I needed to stay busy.

  “Miss McCall, he’s ready for you.”

  I stood and made my way back to his office.

  “Hey, Lara,” he said from behind his desk.

  It was only a little sad that we were on a first name basis, the familiarity a product of the many meetings that had cost me a small fortune already. It was only right that he called me by my first name at this point.

  “Hi. Todd, please tell me you have somethi
ng in mind,” I said, taking the seat across from his large cherrywood desk. I knew the thing cost a small fortune. My fees probably helped pay for the damn thing because Mitchel was such a jackass.

  “We’ll file papers to have his new request dismissed. If he wanted to bitch about the settlement, he could have protested then. According to what I gathered from Daniel, Mitchel is pissed that you’re seeing someone.”

  I scoffed. “He was cheating on me while we were married! I caught him in our bed!”

  Todd held up a hand. “I know, I know. This is just one of those things that guys do. He tossed you away, but he doesn’t want anyone else to have you. It’s what keeps me in business,” he joked.

  I didn’t find any of this funny. “Just tell him no. Not only no, but hell no!”

  My lawyer laughed in my face. “It isn’t so easy. He claims this person lives with you and he doesn’t want to pay alimony because you have financial income from another man.”

  I slapped my palm to my forehead. “No one lives with me. I live alone. And doesn’t he still have to pay alimony until I get married again? Or for the next ten years?”

  Todd nodded his head. “Yes. This petition is garbage, but there’s enough legal mumbo jumbo in here to warrant a letter back. This could end up in mediation. I hope I can convince his attorney to drop it, but you just never know.”

  I groaned. “Why won’t he just go away and leave me alone?”

  My lawyer shook his head. “I’m telling you, I see this every day. It’s always the same old story. I think we’ll be okay. Don’t worry about it. Give me a week or two to get this taken care of. I’ll let you know if we have to fight back.”

  “If we have to fight back, I want his balls on a stick!” I fumed.

  That got a laugh out of him. “I understand, and if we do have to renegotiate a settlement, we will make him very sorry he opened this can of worms.”

  “Good. Stick it to him. Teach him to leave me the hell alone.”

  I stood up and turned to leave. If we could keep the meetings short, it would save me money. I knew they tended to round up, and I didn’t want to risk crossing the thirty-minute mark.

  “Thanks for seeing me on such short notice,” I said before leaving the office.

  I headed for work, happy for the distraction.

  “Well?” Kali asked.

  Since I hadn’t told her about the insemination last week, I knew she wasn’t asking about the results of my pregnancy test. I had kept that to myself.

  “My lawyer doesn’t think Mitchel has a leg to stand on, but it’s still going to cost me to prove that. The man is a toad.”

  “I can’t believe he actually thinks you owe him anything,” she agreed.

  “It’s ridiculous. He told his lawyer that Mason lived with me,” I said through gritted teeth. The whole day was shit.

  I wanted to cry, scream, and hit something all at the same time. I didn’t know if it was the stupid hormone injections or if the stress of everything was finally getting to me, but I was ready to crack.

  “Do you want to take the day off?” Kali asked gently.

  I vehemently shook my head. “No. I need to be doing something or I’ll end up painting my bedroom pink or something equally awful. Work is good. It will keep me busy so I don’t have to think about everything else.”

  “Is there something else going on?” she asked.

  I sighed. “I’m not pregnant.”

  I could see the confusion on her face. “Okay, well you haven’t tried yet, have you?”

  There was a lump in my throat preventing me from talking. I could only look at her, saying the words my mouth couldn’t utter.

  “You did.”

  The words were said as a statement, not a question. I nodded my head, confirming her suspicion.

  “I’m sorry, hon. It was the first time, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “You knew it could take a few tries. You yourself were expecting at least three rounds, right? I know it’s hard, but don’t get discouraged.”

  “Thanks.”

  “I’ll close up. You go on home.”

  “I can’t really. I need to work for a little bit.”

  “Fine. We got a shipment in and I haven’t had time to check the invoice against the delivery yet. You do that and I’ll man the front of the house,” she instructed.

  “Thank you,” I told her, giving her a quick hug before heading to the back storeroom.

  I managed to get through the day, but it wasn’t nearly as enjoyable as I typically found work. I needed some downtime, a little “me time” where I could drown my sorrows. Kali and I locked up and I made a spur-of-the-moment decision to stop by my favorite sushi restaurant and I picked up a bottle of wine. It wasn’t like I was pregnant.

  Obviously, I was pouting, but I didn’t care. I was looking down at my feet and not paying a lot of attention to where I was going. I didn’t need to look. I had walked this hallway to my front door a thousand times.

  “Hi.” Mason’s voice cut through my pity party.

  I jerked my head up. “Mason. You’re here.”

  “Yeah, I am. You didn’t return my call. I was thinking maybe you needed a friend. And I brought food,” he said, holding up a bag identical to the one I was carrying.

  I held up my own bag and started bawling.

  “Let me get the door,” he said, grabbing the keys from my hand and quickly pushing it open. He took my bag and purse from me and ushered me inside.

  I felt like a complete fool, but I couldn’t stop crying. The tears were flowing freely. He set everything on the table, then grabbed a couple napkins from the holder and handed them to me.

  “I’m fine,” I mumbled. “It’s just been a rotten day.”

  “Sit. I’ll get a couple plates and pour you a glass of this wine.”

  Sitting down, I managed to get myself under control. I watched as he moved around my kitchen as if he had been in it a hundred times.

  He brought two glasses of wine and sat down. “Wanna talk about it?”

  Before I knew what I was doing, I was yammering on about Mitchel and the negative pregnancy test. He never questioned me about the secret insemination. I had a feeling he had figured it out or had looked at my chart. I knew he would find out.

  “Let your lawyer handle Mitchel. He’s probably just doing this to piss you off. Don’t let him know he is getting under your skin. As for the other matter…”

  “I know, I know. It was the first time and it doesn’t mean I can’t.”

  He grinned, took a drink of wine, and then got very serious. “I made the offer once, but I will make it again. I would love to help you get pregnant the old-fashioned way.”

  “You wore a condom yesterday,” I pointed out, a little offended.

  “Because I didn’t want to accidentally get you pregnant and have you get pissed at me. I didn’t know there was a chance you could already be pregnant.”

  I swatted playfully at his hand that was resting on the table between us. “We don’t even know what we’re doing. Having a baby together to satisfy this base need of mine is reckless. I don’t want to bring a baby into a world where he or she will be a human yo-yo, pulled back and forth between parents.”

  “I wouldn’t do that, and I know exactly what we are. We’re together. I want you. I want to be with you in every way. I’m just waiting for you to catch up.”

  He leaned forward and kissed me. It was a sweet, gentle kiss full of warmth and affection.

  When he pulled away, I felt stunned. I didn’t know how to respond to that, so I did the next best thing—I shoved a large chunk of sushi in my mouth to avoid having to say anything.

  He grinned, clearly on to my plan.

  We finished eating our meal in relative silence. I enjoyed a second glass of wine but noticed he wasn’t drinking his.

  “Stay.”

  He raised an eyebrow, questioning me, but I wanted him here with me. I needed him next to me, giving me the stren
gth and comfort that only he could provide.

  “Okay.”

  We watched television for a bit before heading to my bed. He stripped to his underwear while I put on a pair of sleep shorts and a loose T-shirt. Crawling into bed with him felt so natural. We had developed a routine in the short time we had been together. Mason held up his arm as he lay on his side, and I scooted backward until my ass was nestled against his crotch.

  Once again, he enveloped me in his arms and held me close.

  “It’ll be okay,” he whispered in my ear. “Mitchel will get rejected and the baby thing will work out, one way or another.”

  I released a heavy sigh. “I hope so. I feel like it’s my turn for things to go right. It seems like I’ve been fighting for so long. I don’t want to fight anymore. I just want to live life and be happy.”

  “You will, Lara. You will. I’m sure you’ve heard all the sayings, but I’ve got some personal experience with the one that says it’s always darkest before the dawn. Keep fighting. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Thanks. I appreciate that.”

  He kissed my cheek and squeezed me tightly. I knew he was speaking what he felt. It wasn’t a line. He had already had me every which way possible. He was successful and didn’t need my money. Could Mason really be the man I had been searching for?

  Chapter 26

  Mason

  I either needed to keep a change of clothes in my car or ask Lara if I could keep a few things at her place. I knew the latter was not an option. Not yet anyway. She kept one foot out the door of our relationship at all times as it was. If I tried to take a step forward, she would likely run scared.

  For now, I would have to settle for what I had. I wouldn’t give up spending the night with her for anything. We didn’t need to have sex. I loved cradling her and hearing her breathe. It was enough for me.

  As I made my way into the office, my thoughts drifted to how sad and broken she had been last night. I wanted to make it all better for her. I knew that medically speaking, there was no reason I couldn’t get her pregnant. I wished she would agree to it, but knew that was a big step. I couldn’t even believe I was actually thinking about having a child. It hadn’t really been on my radar before I met Lara again.