Secret Intentions

by Caitlyn Nicholas

  “You are perfectly, wonderfully, marvelous,” she told him, trying to decide if she wanted strawberries and ricotta on toast for breakfast, or maybe croissants.

  “Finally you realize,” he said, but Zani could see he was pleased. He’d been so patient the last few months. She knew she hadn’t been easy to live with. Often moody, always teary. But he’d just kept feeding her and loving her. She’d changed because of it. Because of everything, but mostly because of him. She didn’t feel lost and alone anymore. She didn’t feel that every day was just a new disaster waiting to happen.

  “I wouldn’t be surprised if we don’t hear from Paul for years,” she said. “He must have stashed away the money from his house and Marion’s house, not to mention the money she gave him from selling the game to Vivre. He’ll turn up when it’s all gone. I just wish for Marion and Dad that he was around. Though he doesn’t deserve her or Grace.”

  The aggravation and irritation she used to feel about Paul had solidified into a deep sadness. The Sunberri shareholders were baying for his blood. Everyone assumed he’d sold the game and fled the country. If he did return then he’d likely face a court of law.

  “Forget Paul for now. There’s nothing you can do for him,” Corbin advised quietly.

  “I know,” she sighed. “I just wish it hadn’t all worked out this way.”

  Later that day, Zani sat nervously in the back of the auction room as Georgiana Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire by Thomas Gainsborough sold for the staggering price of ten and a half million pounds.

  “Holy mother of God,” she whispered to Corbin.

  “Just two million to go,” he whispered back. “The Cellini salt cellar should come close. I think you’ve done it, Zani!”

  “Let’s wait and see.” Holding Corbin’s hand in a death grip, she peered over the heads of the packed room. They started to bring out the furnishings from Everwood and her father’s house.

  “I had no idea this stuff was worth so much…” she whispered to Corbin after the first couple of items had gone under the hammer.

  “Well, the old place has been kept like a museum for years. It’s not surprising.”

  “Oh…” She gasped in dismay as the next item came up. “It’s my mother’s dressing table. I don’t think I can watch.”

  “Do you want to leave?”

  “Um, yes. No. I don’t know.”

  “How about we go and get a coffee. This’ll go on for hours. Let’s come and check up on them later.”

  “Here.” Corbin put a large slice of mudcake in front of Zani. “I had them warm it up and put extra cream on.”

  “You are the most perfect man!”

  “I know.” He grinned.

  “This is harder than I thought,” she said, gritting her teeth so she wouldn’t start crying again. She was getting very tired of crying, and the café was busy. “I feel like I’m being dismantled.”

  “Let’s run away,” he said.

  “What a wonderful idea.”

  “No, I’m serious. Why don’t we take the Vixen and spend a few weeks exploring the Mediterranean?”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. You’ve got to work. I’ve got four projects on the go.” Even as she said it, she wished it wasn’t true. Ever since she’d walked into Sunberri, her life had been a rollercoaster. She needed time to get over it.

  “Actually I don’t.”

  “Don’t what?”

  “Have work. I resigned last week. I know I should’ve told you, but it’s never been the right time.”

  “But you love your job.”

  “Not especially. Anyway, I wasn’t given much choice by the Board. The share price is still dropping, and they thought a change in executive management might slow it down a bit, if not turn things around.”

  “They aren’t blaming you for Marion selling the game, are they?”

  “No, they’re blaming all of that on Paul. They just think Marion did as she was told. That’s why they haven’t put the Fraud Squad onto her.”

  Zani sat back, aghast. “It hadn’t even occurred to me that they might. Why didn’t you tell me all this before?”

  “Because you were dealing with Everwood and everything else.”

  “I’m not made of bloody glass, you know. I won’t break. Sometimes you can be so…”

  “What?” he asked, the dangerous note in his voice stopping Zani.

  She backed down. “It doesn’t matter.”

  “No, it does matter. I said I’m sorry. I know I should have told you before.”

  She sighed. “This happens all the time. Everything ends up in an argument.”

  Corbin stayed quiet.

  “This isn’t working, is it? Between us,” she asked.

  “How can we tell? Everything is worry and stress. There’s nothing normal…” Corbin trailed off.

  Zani pushed the cake away, suddenly not hungry.

  “It’s over, isn’t it?”

  “No, cherie. We just haven’t had a chance to start properly. It’ll work, you’ll see. We just need to get all this behind us.” He leaned over the table and covered her hand with his.

  His touch made her tingle, regardless of her emotions.

  “I don’t understand why you put up with me.”

  “I’ve told you a thousand times before, because I love you. I’ve loved you from the day I met you and I’m not going to let you down. One day I hope you’ll believe me.”

  “I do believe you,” said Zani, wondering how the conversation had suddenly become so raw. She knew what he wanted to hear, the three little words she held in her heart, terrified that if she let them out, he’d use them to hurt her, just like all the other men in her life had. She needed to say them, needed to get it over with.

  “I…” She tried to force the words out. She felt like they were lodged in her throat. “I love…”

  She looked at Corbin. He knew what she tried to say. She could see it written all over his face. Hope.

  “I love this mudcake.” She shoveled a large piece covered in cream into her mouth.

  “Do you know if I didn’t love you so much I’d want to strangle you?” he said, exasperation warring with disappointment in his eyes.

  “Yes, you’ve mentioned it before,” she said around the cake and daintily wiped away some non-existent crumbs with a paper napkin.

  Several hours later, a trifle stunned, Zani let Corbin drive her back to Chichester.

  “We did it.” She didn’t hide her elation.

  “You did it,” corrected Corbin.

  “We can send the money to Vladimir in a couple of weeks. It’s all over. Soon it’ll all be nothing but a bad dream. I’m exhausted.” Her mind spun as the stress of the last few months began to ebb. “I won’t have to sell the car, or the business, or my house. I thought I might. It was my backup plan.”

  “I know,” said Corbin dryly.

  “I can’t believe all that china went for so much. I mean, who pays three million pounds for china?”

  “Well, it was Limoges porcelain, a full set in mint condition and one hundred and fifty years old. Priceless,” he pointed out logically.

  “Yes, but three million pounds? It’s a good thing Paul had no idea. He’d have stripped the house bare.” She laughed a mite hysterically then realised what she’d said. “I need a cup of tea and a lie down, I think.”

  “You’ll feel better tomorrow.”

  “But Ocean’s Design, my business, it’s okay. I would have sold it, if need be.”

  “Yes, you mentioned that. I wouldn’t have let you. But I appreciate that was how far you’d go.”

  “Wouldn’t have let me? I don’t see as how you would have had much choice, Corbin.”

  “It didn’t happen…”

  “Look, can we just get one thing clear?” she asked, dripping sarcasm.

  “Certainly,” said Corbin mildly.

  “I love you.” She gasped and clapped a hand to her mouth.

  “Really?” he said, looking a lit
tle surprised. “I thought you were going to lecture me on being over-protective, over-bearing and French.”

  “Well I was, but that seemed like a counter-productive conversation, you can’t help it. And, I suppose I can learn to live with it. It’s quite sweet when you’re just saying it and not being it.”

  “Tell me again?”

  “No, you’ll just have to annoy me until I say it again.”

  “Okay…” He paused, obviously running through a list of her usual gripes.

  “No, don’t. It’s too nice a day.”

  “It is?” Corbin peered out the windscreen at the gloomy grey afternoon and the cars hurtling along the motorway with them.

  “Not the weather. You French, always on about the weather…”

  “If I wasn’t driving, I’d kiss you.”

  “Oh, but you are. You’ll just have to wait.” She ran a hand suggestively up his leg.

  “Oh look, a Little Chef…” He shot her a look that said let’s go and park in a remote corner.

  “Just drive. Oh, and Corbin…”

  “What?”

  “I love you.”

  Secret Intentions

  Chapter Sixteen

  The sound of squabbling terns woke Zani. She glanced at Corbin, but he slept on, undisturbed. Climbing carefully over him, she knelt on the bed, drew back the curtain and peeped out. The sight took her breath away.

  They’d moored a little offshore. She could see a coarse sandy beach and a steep hill covered with cubic whitewashed houses, and a couple of pristine snow white churches with electric blue roofs. Narrow stone-paved alleys twisted into shadows, overhung by flowered balconies. Each house had different coloured shutters and doors. They glowed, almost jewel-like in the early morning light. The gentle breeze brought the scent of thyme and wild rosemary from the hills.

  “Perfect,” she whispered.

  The stress and worry of six months before seemed like another lifetime. Another Zani. She’d changed, and she knew it. The insecure wreck who hated herself with a scalding self-destructive anger had all but disappeared replaced by a glowing, confident woman. Corbin had helped, of course. But Zani knew the strength to change had come from within herself.

  Not that she didn’t have bad days and moments when her past nagged at her, threatening to overwhelm her with self-doubt and anxiety. But now she knew how to handle it, how to be calm and confident and not give in to the demons that would, if she let them, torment her.

  She looked out at the peaceful Greek island of Sifnos, unable to imagine a more wonderful view to wake up to. They’d been sailing now for over three months, had borrowed the Vixen and simply headed south, leaving behind the baggage of home and simply spending time together. It’d been bliss. The raw and turbulent emotions brought up by the mess that Paul left behind had been soothed and slowly healed.

  Corbin moved behind her. A warm hand travelled up her leg. She turned to him, smiling in delight.

  “Do you remember what day it is?” she asked.

  “No. I can’t say that I care particularly, either. Kiss me?”

  Zani bent toward him, but then pulled away.

  “Thursday, it feels like Thursday. Yes. I saw a paper when we were on Kimolas yesterday, it said ¤µÄ¬ÁÄ·, that’s Greek for Wednesday. I’m sure of it.”

  Corbin growled and pulled her down to him.

  Kissing her slowly, deeply, he ran his hands up under the thin t-shirt she’d slept in, over her curves.

  She’d put on weight, and he loved it. In their worst moments, and there’d been a few, when she’d been so low, her misery and emotional torment had been almost palpable. He’d done the only thing he could think of. Fed her. It hadn’t been a chore. He loved to cook, and every meal he prepared had been a declaration of his love. Sometimes he liked to think he’d put his love into the food, and she’d absorbed it. Now, instead of being nothing but skin and bone, she had curves, wonderful soft curves. She complained, of course, but he didn’t care.

  He ran a hand over her hip to her round bottom, feeling her quiver under his touch. He loved how attuned they’d become. With just a look or a touch he could communicate how much he desired her. She was always willing and seemed to revel in the persistence of his want.

  She peeled off her t-shirt, preening for just a moment, letting him admire her. He loved that, how she still felt being naked in front of him was just a little bit daring. Reaching up, he slowly ran a finger from her collar bone down to a pale pink nipple, caressing gently when he got there and watching her face. She went almost cross-eyed with lust and, with a moan, bent and kissed him.

  He didn’t stop caressing her, and within minutes she stopped kissing him, resting her forehead against his, almost panting with longing.

  “Now. Please…” she said.

  He didn’t need asking twice.

  “I love you,” she gasped.

  A sunbeam shone through the crack in the curtains and lit up her hair like a halo as she moved above him. He watched her, marveling that she loved him. That she took such delight in being with him.

  He lifted a hand, and caressed her nipple again, and she threw her head back and groaned. He had to concentrate for a moment, grit his teeth and slow himself. Eyes closed, concentrating, she moved against him, her rhythm slowly increasing. Her breathing came faster and he could sense that she was holding back, trying to be quiet. She always tried to be quiet, but it never lasted very long.

  Later, much later, they surfaced.

  Taking their breakfast, they both went and sat at the front of the boat, the small village clinging to the mountainside on one side and the wide ocean on the other.

  “Should we start thinking about heading home soon?” asked Zani.

  “No, we aren’t going home yet.”

  “I dread to think what Karen is doing to the business,” she said with a frown.

  “Stop worrying, it’ll be fine. She’ll have everything under control. She runs her children like a military operation and manages to organise you. Overseeing a couple of shipwrights and tradesmen won’t even disturb her radar.”

  Zani grinned in agreement. They’d had this conversation regularly over the last few weeks. For a while they ate in silence, the only sound was the squawk of the seabirds and the rattle of ropes on masts as the boats moored around them rocked on the slight swell and shifted with the tide.

  Zani thought about her secret.

  “I’ll call Dad today, check up on how Marion and Grace are doing, as well.”

  “You spoke to them yesterday.” Corbin grinned at her.

  “Yes I know, but I miss them, especially Grace. I could hear her in the background. She kept laughing. Marion said Dad was playing peek-a-boo. Can you imagine, my father, playing peek-a-boo?”

  “I’d rather not, actually.”

  “You were on the mobile when I was talking to them. You never said who it was.”

  “I’ve been thinking about it.”

  “Oh, and…” said Zani, now quite used to Corbin’s inability to share any information without considering it first.

  “It was the chairman of Sunberri. They’ve come to an agreement with Vivre. They’re collaborating on the game, sharing the profits. Neither party is entirely happy, but it’s a compromise. The company won’t go into liquidation. All those jobs will be saved.”

  “Yes, Marion mentioned it the other day, it’s been in the papers.”

  “They want me back as CEO.”

  “Really? What do you want?” asked Zani, thinking he didn’t seem overly thrilled by this development.

  He shifted a little, looking at the view and sipping his coffee. “I want to go sailing with you.”

  “You are sailing with me,” Zani pointed out patiently.

  “Yes, but not just for a holiday. Forever. I don’t want to go back to that life, trapped in an office, slave to the computer. These last few weeks with you have been perfect.”

  “Well, we can’t stay sailing.” She smiled at him, a
nd he gave her a “let me finish” look.

  “I don’t need the money, and I don’t want that sort of challenging job any more. But I saw an advertisement before we left England for the Jubilee Sailing Trust.”

  “I’ve heard of it, helping disadvantaged kids by teaching them to sail tall ships.”

  “I thought I might see if I could work with them, as a mentor on the boat with the kids.” He said it very cautiously, not looking at Zani.

  “Corbin! That’s a wonderful idea,” she said. He visibly relaxed and grinned a little self-consciously at her enthusiasm.

  “I wasn’t sure you’d be happy. I wondered if a man with a nine to five type job was more what you wanted.”

  Zani snorted. “Hardly. I can’t think of anything more dull than kissing you goodbye in the morning and greeting you with a drink every night.”

  He laughed at the thought. “Knowing what you’re like when you’ve got a good design developing, I don’t think that situation will ever happen. So you don’t mind then?”

  “If you’re happy, then I’m happy, it’s that simple.”

  “The Jubilee Trust are based in Southhampton, so we wouldn’t have to move or anything. You could keep going at the Apuldram marina, though I’m not sure how much longer you’re going to fit there.” Zani smiled in agreement. When her current boat was finished, there’d be three days between its delivery and the arrival of the next one from Baltic Yachts.

  “You’ve got it all figured out, haven’t you?” she said.

  “Yes.”

  Zani thought about her secret again.

  “Do you know what Greek for pregnancy test is?” she asked lightly, peering at him over her sunglasses.

  “•³ºÅ¼¿Ãͽ· ´¿º¹¼¬¶É or something like that,” said Corbin, equally casually, though he couldn’t suppress a broad grin.