External Relations

by Pam Uphoff

  "I am twenty-two. I just graduated from the Princess School." Her eyes were angry now. Affronted. She pulled in her glow and Ohno staggered back.

  "Why don't you two show me the family quarters? Have you been briefed, Ohno? My wife and I are expecting twins in about two more months. I expect my parents will be frequent visitors."

  "Oh. You'll want to be away from your wife, so you can sleep." Gee Wiz smiled cattily.

  "No. Absolutely not. And you will not be sleeping in the family quarters, Princess."

  "I am assigned to you!" A bit of a growl to that.

  "Yes. As the One's check upon me. Not as my mistress. Some men no doubt enjoy such relations with their Princesses, I'm not one of them. You can be a social secretary here, something useful at the Directorate, or do absolutely nothing. Your choice."

  The family quarters consisted of the standard two large bedrooms separated by dressing rooms, closets and two complete bathrooms. All interconnected, so one could get from one to the other without going out into the "public" hallways. Five other bedrooms, each with its own bath. The one closest to the master suite was obviously occupied.

  "Move. Preferably to the opposite wing."

  Inarticulate growl.

  Izzo compared the two connected bedrooms. "We'll take the corner room, the babies the other, until they are grown a bit."

  Ohno nodded. "You have an excellent library and office, just above these rooms." A door gave access to a stairwell and he followed the old man up.

  Real, actual paper books. Gleaming wooden furniture, all carved curlicues. "It's magnificent." Right in keeping with the exterior.

  ***

  "Princess, I am in so much trouble."

  Xiat snuggled into the pillows and grinned at the tiny hologram. "And what did all those subdirectors do to my poor little Colonial?"

  "They gave me a pet skunk. Being careful to get one that hadn't been de-scented. They thought a species specific to Homestead would be a touch of home for me. Unfortunately for them, I do in fact have extensive experience with the critters. I know how to shield, and clean up. So I shielded most of the room, and sat back and watched them. They got much more, emm, business-like in the afternoon. Now, are you brave enough to hear about the bad part and the horrible part?"

  She wished she could read his aura, along with his voice and face. She didn't like the undertones in his voice. "I'm braced. Tell all."

  "The Directorate, in its beneficence, provides housing for its Director. Designed and built by the Third Director. It is a bit too small to call a Palace. Gothic architecture with gargoyles and curlicues. Possibly a few Greek columns. A fencing salle in the basement, a library with real paper books bigger than your flat. Two hundred and twelve bedrooms, each with a bathroom, as the third Director thought sharing was unhygienic. Yes, it comes with funds and a staff of forty." He paused, looking a bit daunted. "And the One has assigned me a Princess."

  Xiat sat up and winced at a pulled muscle in her abdomen. "Who?"

  "Gewz. Looks sixteen and acts like a spoiled darling. Says she just graduated from Princess School. She expected to sweep me off my feet and wrap me around her little finger. Any thumps you hear in the background are her packing up and moving to the far wing. I told her to go find a professional attitude and it didn't go down well. And she really didn't like me calling her Gee Wiz."

  Xiat snickered. "Oh dear. Some men's fondest dream, other men's worse nightmare. A baby Princess."

  "I was hoping for a different kind of scary. Qayg-like, you know? I can deal with a threatening professional. This one needs to be sent to the Principal for a grow up lecture."

  "Hmm, well. It sounds like you had a delightful day. There's just one thing I need to know."

  "Yes. You own me heart and soul. Yes, you can redecorate as much of this gothic horror as you wish. No, we are not keeping the skunk."

  She couldn't stop the giggle. "How bad was the smell? I mean, there are skunks on the West Coast. I know what they smell like. The mind boggles at the thought of one indoors."

  "Fortunately it was a very young skunk. It had the salutary effect, provided me with an opportunity to show off my dim colonial wits and language skills. The chap that delivered the skunk was an old friend—CEO of a pharmaceuticals company, these days. He caught mention of my name and just had to come see what happened. We chatted in T!ectlk* while I demonstrated how to de-scent and neuter a skunk with my pocket knife on the conference room table. The few tough guys that hadn't run off to puke turned green at that point."

  "Oh, you were enjoying yourself, weren't you? For shame." She narrowed her eyes. "What did you do with the skunk? Assuming it survived all this."

  "Of course it survived. Goodness, I've assisted my father often enough poking around in animal gizzards. I thought he would make an excellent Directorate mascot."

  "I love you, you insane Colonial. I'll be there with you soon enough, and in shape to deal with your spoiled Princess. And don't forget that Ajha and the Fiend are there, so you can ask for help if she stays obnoxious." She rolled out of bed and onto her feet. Ridiculous to be so big! She waddled out to the living room. Zowz looked up in inquiry.

  Izzo snickered. "Ah. Good idea. Unless Fean is inclined to help her. Do you suppose Gee Wiz’d fall in love with a former Philosopher? That would solve half the problem."

  "Poor Ajha, you're going to make me feel sorry for him. Here, talk to your mother for a moment." Xiat handed over the comm and waddled for the bathroom. Ridiculous that I have to keep peeing all the damned time. Just as well it's twins, I'm not sure I'm ever going to do this again.

  Back to the living room, where Zowz was chatting away about nursery colors. Xiat put her feet up and listened contentedly, then took the phone back.

  "Anyhow, I'm trying to set up some appointments, and hopefully I'll have time to see you as I whizz in and out of Paris. I may have to pick you up after talking to the President and ditch you as I dash in to speak to the Council. But that would give us nearly four minutes together."

  Xiat snickered. "Poor Colonial. And me in no shape for a quickie."

  Chapter Six

  20 April 3523 ce

  Serene, Granite Peak

  The problem with aircars—apart from their cost—was the trade-off between carrying capacity and range. In theory Jack could carry enough extra fuel to extend the range of the sole company aircar enough to get to the rendezvous point and back. On the ground, it would be a four day road trip, with a day for talks. With luck the return trip could be quicker, stream crossings already located. But he really wasn’t going to be able to take his armored gyp. But a fuel dump for the aircar, way out in the grasslands would be a good idea.

  Arrow laughed at his preparations.

  “I’ll pull a corridor along behind us, and we can return home every night to sleep here, and then come all the way back when you’re done talking.”

  Jack boggled at that . . . and thought out the implications.

  “All right. In that case we’re going to start this afternoon. Put the corridor a bit out of sight . . . Say the far side of the garage. We’ll fly that wretched aircar out past all the farmland and put the other end of the corridor up out there. Tomorrow we’ll pop back to that point and start a second corridor, which we’ll take to within fifty or a hundred kilometers of the rendezvous point. And we’ll end it there. We’ll go the rest of the way in a gyp. No need for the Oners to realize how fast we can get there. Besides, my gyp is bulletproofed.”

  Arrow sniffed. “As if I can’t do a simple physical shield? Might be handy, though, if they start throwing spells. I can concentrate on energy and mental influence spells.”

  “Mental influence?”

  “Sleep, hiccup, spin, orgasm. Things like that. Very distracting in the middle of a battle.”

  “Uh . . . yes . . . I can see where that might be distracting.”

  “I’ll start the corridor. Why don’t you get the aircar?” She smirked and headed across the parking lot t
o the garage.

  Jack scowled and headed the other direction, to claim the aircar for the next three days. As aircraft went, it was fairly slow, just a hair over 200 kilometers an hour. But the combination of jets and antigravity gave it not just four times the speed of a gyp, but there wouldn’t be any time-consuming searches for a way across any streams.

  When he got back to the garage, Arrow was climbing down from a ladder beside the big square of bronze—he poked it—rubbery thing.

  “That’s what the inside of a bubble looks like.” Arrow hopped off the ladder. “I made it big enough for the aircar.”

  Jack blinked. “So instead of flying out five hundred klicks, pinning it down, then flying home, we can fly out a thousand, and just pop through the corridor and be home?”

  “Yep.”

  It was a boring flight. A thousand kilometers west-southwest. Mostly flat prairie and occasional meandering streams, with a fringe of trees. Then as the ground rose toward the mountains out of sight to the southwest, something that approached “river” in size and a forest of sparse trees. Native broadleafs, for the most part, but as they climbed a bit the pines became more common, and by the time he landed in a meadow, they were dominating the forest.

  Arrow placed her corridor, climbing two trees to attach the top corners.

  “There. You’ll have to roll the aircar through, I don’t know what trying to fly it through might do.”

  Jack stared at the square of night. The edge of a familiar parking lot and roughly mown native grasses, side-lit by the parking lot floodlights. “And anyone who walks by will see this?”

  “Yes, but we can leave it closed most of the time. Or just put an illusion over it—anyone who leans on the wall will get a bit of a shock.”

  “But you can open it up, right to out here?”

  “Or wherever I move it tomorrow.” She grinned. “Don’t look so shocked. I thought you were the hotshot Merc with security contracts on five worlds.”

  “I am. I just never saw a corridor being installed.” Jack frowned at the corridor, a faint stirring of . . . worry? Guilt? “Arrow . . . when we meet the Oners, we need to be very clear that they paid me a finder’s fee for an employee. That you will work for them, for pay, and walk away whenever you want.”

  Her brows lowered. “Was something else planned?”

  “Not by me. None of my business what sort of relationship they planned on having with you.” He met her glare evenly. “I didn’t know you then. I didn’t care what happened to some nebulous unknown woman. So we’ll go talk to them . . . in four days. And you can accept or turn down the job, however you like. Stay back in the woman’s barracks, or go with them.”

  Her glare faded, and she unfocused a bit.

  Jack let her think while he unloaded a cooler. Drinks, sandwiches, an assortment of desserts.

  “If I go with them . . . you won’t get your world.”

  He rubbed his forehead. “I don’t know, anymore, what are my ambitions or what came in those potions. And if it’s not mine . . . I’m going to be royally screwed in six months.”

  I’m going to be royally screwed in six months, no matter what.

  Arrow picked up a sandwich and walked away. Staring up at the tall trees.

  How the Hell did I think this was going to make me rich? I should never have ever talked to the Oners. I was curious, couldn’t resist . . . and walked away ready to help them.

  Oh. Shit. Did the Oners get to me mentally? Make me want to do this?

  No. I was already ambitious. They just . . . magnified it. They took my dream of a nice big HQ on an Empty World . . . and made me think I could really have it.

  Jack looked at Arrow as she walked back. “And . . . they may be able to influence me, so keep an eye on me as well.” He hunched his shoulders and made himself say it. “They may have got to me already.”

  He turned away and forced himself to eat a sandwich, drank straight water. Then he taxied the aircar through the corridor and into the parking lot. Fueled up and rolled it into the garage.

  When he walked around the corner, the wall was plain white-painted metal panels. He tapped his way along the wall until his fingers sank in. He snatched them back, and marked the spot with a rock. Found the other side and set another rough cobble there.

  Not that I can see them from the driver’s seat when I get close, but it’ll help me get lined up.

  Tomorrow we’ll take a good look at the meeting site. And maybe prowl out a bit further, and see what the Oners are up to, out there.

  ***

  The coordinates of the meeting place led him to a cleared area beside a river. He landed and walked out to look around. A bulldozed road led down to an area of broad shoals. The river bed, exposed now in the dry season, was all loose rounded pebbles. Hell to drive on. Four channels still held water. On the far side he could see where the bank had been cut into for the road to continue, and that faint, distant buzzing could be chainsaws.

  “So, this isn’t the end of the line. Just a remote site, suitable for a brief chat.” Jack looked at the forest to the east, and a bit north. “It’s pretty open. I can probably get my gyp through it.”

  Arrow shrugged. “I can cut down trees, at need. Let’s look for a good place to put the corridor.”

  Back in the air, twenty klicks took them to a grassy area on a hill. Well, grass, weeds and seedling pines, burned stumps, a few quite tall. A jagged border between the old forest and the new.

  “Forest fire.” Arrow hopped out and looked around. “Two or three years ago. If I put the gate between those two trees over there, it’ll be side on to anyone coming from the meeting site.”

  “Right. Place the corridor and I’ll see about clearing a path from there to the other side.” Jack landed at the crest of the hill and eyed the half-burned tree trunks laying scattered about.

  Arrow strode down the hill, stepping across the tree trunks without a problem.

  Jack eyed a way through that would only involve moving three tree trunks. He searched the aircar, and found a crowbar. It was not impressive when it came to shifting the logs. “I’ll come back tomorrow with a longer pry bar. Maybe a saw.”

  Arrow snorted, and made a chopping motion. The half burned bole fell apart.

  Jack cleared his throat. “That makes it much easier. Thank you.” By the time he’d cleared that one away, Arrow was a good way down the far side.

  Jack grimaced and got to work.

  By the time he’d run out of tree trunks, Arrow had cut back the brush under the old forest, and shoved it to the side. He followed the path for a good mile as it wound around between the large trees. Two had been felled, and then cut into meter long sections and rolled out of the way.

  Arrow was sitting on the ground rubbing her temples.

  “Are you all right?”

  “Headache. Doing too much magic. It causes low blood sugar, among other things.”

  “Can you walk? I really don’t want to try to get the aircar in here.” Jack knelt beside her. “What do you need?”

  “Food. And sweet stuff.”

  “Right. I’ll be right back.”

  She grabbed the water and chocolate candy, first. Relaxed as if the headache was fading. Then she wolfed down two sandwiches.

  And looked back toward the meeting place.

  “No. No more today. We’ll bring the gyp tomorrow, and quit before you run out of energy.” He helped her up and they walked back to the aircar. And rolled it down their path and made a sharp turn for the corridor.

  This is the way to travel!

  Chapter Seven

  2 Rajab 1408 yp

  Gate City, One World

  !Tok felt a wash of shame, as he took advantage of the Permanent Gate Pass Izzo had given him. Izzo's deep. He knows what he did. The automated machinery read the pass and sent him through. He waited for a truck to roll by, then walked through.

  First *Zolt to set foot on Embassy. He strolled to the center of the Plaza, and circled the
fountain. Hopefully any watcher had gotten bored and taken to tracking someone else. He headed for what he believed to be the Comet Fall Embassy.

  Ambassador Franki Negue was amused and had a flunky escort him through their gate, for a stroll through a very attractive city full of horses and wagons. And then through two corridors. To meet a lady.

  "You want to add all the Prophet's genes to the genes of your people?" Rustle gawped a bit. "Old Gods, that'd stir things up, wouldn't it." Her eyes unfocused a bit. "There's a hundred and five genes, plus the One Gene." She eyed the man. "A lot of them are cosmetic. What do your people look like? Dark like you, or is there a range in coloring?"

  The old man chuckled. "There's a bit of variation, but most of us are dark and reddish. Perhaps there should be a selection of attributes." He flipped on his comp and brought up the list. "These are the Prophet's gene complexes, and what they do. These cosmetic ones have multiple possible genes, for the coloring and all."

  "What a very useful list. We could work out a dozen variations on color schemes that converts some genes and leaves others alone. So it would lighten or darken a bit, but the individuality would remain. Other physical attributes, height, weight, gender distinction, improved immune and repair systems. We've already got a von Neumanns potion for all the longevity genes. Then there are the power genes."

  "What about those three rape genes? The ones you removed from the Oners?"

  "Their original purpose was to bump up the ambition, leadership, and charisma. Frankly the lack of turnover in leadership positions since the removal demonstrates how minimal any effect was—until you got an unbalanced combination, then the effect was hideous. I recommend leaving them out." Rustle looked down at her list and smiled.

  "This is an excellent challenge. I will need to be careful, so I'll take, umm. Six months. But in the meantime, we have several ready to go. This is the longevity suite. It will alter the genes in artificial insertion packets, or finding none such, add it to a normal chromosome. It's a von Neumanns. Just keep adding red wine. Please label carefully, because people who don't want things changed or added shouldn't be given it accidentally. It doesn't change genes, but it will cure ills associated with age. In combination with the Longevity, it will regress a person's apparent age. If the person is extremely old or otherwise sick, start with the Wine of the Gods, the Original Joy Juice, and give it a week or two to work on general repairs. Then dose with the elixir of long life. Hmm, these others are not von Neumanns. A bottle this size you could dose maybe three people. Try them on a few volunteers, as examples of what will happen to people who take the things I'll be making."