Golden Torment

by Janelle Taylor

  Unknown emotions called out to her and ensnared her. Instinctive longings plagued her. She had no desire or strength to prevent this heady tune from playing its sensual song on her taut and responsive body. She loved him and wanted him.

  Tantalizing kisses played over her lips and face; intoxicating nibbles attacked her ears and shoulders. Her remaining two under-garments were removed. Caught up in a swirling and torrid vortex of passion, she could not resist him. Without pulling his lips from hers, he deftly came out of his own clothes and knee boots. Kathy moaned against his mouth as Landis’s hand teased at her taut breasts. Such intense and bittersweet agony fused through her, a blissful agony he was increasing and stimulating.

  His hand slipped down her flat stomach and found a secret place which brought forth more hunger and moans of desire. He moved between her thighs; yet, she did nothing to stop him. She was mindless with overpowering desire and greedily accepted his loving torment.

  “Love me, Kat,” he huskily whispered into her ear, causing tremors to sweep over her with his warm breath and tender, but urgent, plea. He was beyond thinking or halting, his mission here forgotten.

  He gently probed her resistive maidenhead, then gradually severed it. Kathy cried out at the searing pain and a feeling of fullness. His pervasive kisses gradually removed her awareness and brought new tremors to her fiery body. He tensely waited for the burning sensation to lessen before beginning to move rhythmically within her. Between his devouring mouth, tantalizing hands, and stimulating movements, Kathy was once again transported beyond reality.

  Landis struggled to master his rising passion until she was aquiver with need. “My beautiful Kat, I want you. Yield to me, love…”

  Hopelessly enchanted, Kathy surrendered to the novel and powerful emotions which were storming her senses and betraying her. Golden lights danced before her hazy vision as sweet rapture consumed her. Exquisite pleasures attacked her mind and eternally enslaved her. Landis hadn’t planned to seduce her; yet, it was too late to restrain his passion or to heed duty. The probing letter about Kathy and Jake he had sent to America was forgotten in the furnace of blazing passion.

  As they gradually eased down the conquered spiral of their explosive union, satisfaction and contentment filled them. They relaxed in each other’s arms. He held her possessively; she snuggled peacefully against him. Time passed as they savored this unique moment: the forging of two bodies into one and the fusing of two hearts for all time.

  Clasping her to his sated body, reality drifted back to him. He was confounded by these unknown stirrings of affection and tenderness which consumed him. He had taken lots of women, but never with such intense need and utter completeness. Kathy had come to him and had shaken the core of his being. No woman had stripped away his reason and control. He felt he could lie here entwined with her forever, possessing her and loving her time and time again. Why, he didn’t understand. What should he do now? How could he stake a claim on a female he had been ordered to investigate!

  He propped on his elbow and gazed down at her serene face. Such softness and warmth could be viewed within her eyes. He couldn’t explain it or even comprehend it, but he wanted her again! “You’re mine now, Kat, all mine. I’ve wanted you since the first moment I gazed into those lovely eyes,” he murmured huskily, his eyes tenderly relishing her beauty, branding her with his ownership.

  Strangely feeling no shame or modesty, she smiled and whispered, “It would appear that way, my love. I didn’t know it could be like this between a man and a woman,” she demurely confessed, lost in the wonder of love. The first time she had seen him, she had known he was different from other men. He had made her feel and think things she didn’t understand, until moments ago.

  “Nor I,” he readily agreed, smiling provocatively. “You’re quite a unique woman, Kathryn Hammond. Stay here; don’t leave. I want you,” he carelessly admitted, as he lovingly stroked her silky hair.

  Her hand came up to trace the proud lines of his arresting face, then moved seductively over his full lips which had driven her wild with desire for him. “I could never leave you, Landis. You’re everything a woman could ever want or need.”

  His mouth came down on hers as her arms encircled his neck. This time, their lovemaking was deliberate. He whispered instructions into her ears which she eagerly and willingly obeyed. He was so gentle, and yet so demanding. He claimed her mouth, skillfully and hungrily ravaging it. He trailed consuming kisses over her closed eyes and face, utterly intoxicating her. His deft hands leisurely roamed her pliant body which burned for his possession. When he nibbled at her taut breasts, she moaned in rising need to end this blissful torture. Her body trembled as he gently moved his probing hands over it, exciting her and increasing her desire. He discovered every inch of her body, enticing it to quivering hunger. His sexual prowess rewarded them with wave after wave of undeniable pleasure. Later, they lay exhausted within the peaceful aura of sublime tranquility.

  When Landis began to seductively tease at her breasts with his moist tongue, Kathy murmured happily, “Do all men possess such stamina, or is your appetite greedy? As you’ve learned, this is new to me,” she jested, her molten blood singing within her veins. How she wished she knew what to say and do in such an intimate and tender moment. In spite of her strict upbringing and purity of mind and body, she felt this loving encounter with Landis seemed so right, so perfectly natural, so utterly beautiful.

  “You don’t need any more skills than you already possess, my golden Kat. I am hopelessly enchanted by you, and I’ll never have enough of you. I sorely missed you these past two days. I could hardly keep my mind where it should have been. I didn’t realize what I was missing. Perhaps my heart and life have been as barren and glacial as the Yukon,” he whispered, though Kathy interpreted more from his words and mood than he intended. He didn’t know which path to follow, his emotions or assignment, especially since such emotions were new and he always carried out his missions. Somehow, he had to keep her out of the line of his duty.

  “If the Yukon is as cold and empty as they say, perhaps you need something to keep you warm or something to keep you entertained,” she teased in return, laughing contentedly as lovely dreams flooded her ecstatic mind and heart. He could fill so many voids in her life.

  “Not something, Kat, someone,” he playfully corrected her, unintentionally misleading her. Could this be the woman he had waited for all his life? Did he dare carry out his orders now? God, what if he and Bill were wrong? If she discovered the reason for his hasty return, she would despise him. He had to find some way to halt her trip inland, to entice the truth from her. He resisted this demanding task. She was alone and in danger. He must protect her until…

  “Not someone, but Kathryn Hammond,” she clarified.

  Sighing peacefully, she glanced above her head, the ceiling in the cabin returning her to full awareness. She looked at him and asked, “Is this your cabin? I thought it belonged to Cardone.”

  He chuckled heartily, shaking his head to her first question and nodded yes to her second one. She paled, then blushed. “You mean we’re lying here like this in another man’s home? What if he walked in on us?” Horror flooded her; she shuddered in dismay.

  Assuming she was only chilled, he pulled a blanket over them. “He won’t, love; he’s in Dawson for another week or so. He lets me use his cabin when I’m in Skagway. I have a key.”

  “But what if he returned earlier than planned? I would die if someone caught us in such a…compromising position. Not to mention how my name and reputation would suffer,” she added.

  “Relax, Kat. He won’t be back for at least seven days. I’ve missed you terribly. Stay a while longer,” he coaxed, grinning enticingly. There was so much he needed to learn, but dared not birth suspicions in her. Besides, he was enjoying this unexpected situation.

  “I really should go, Landis. It must be late. Harriet is probably frantic wondering where I am. Besides, wouldn’t that be placing too many dema
nds on your time and energy,” she reminded him of his past words, then smiled. “You’re a carefree loner, remember?”

  His igneous eyes danced merrily as her words hit home. “Perhaps before I met my Golden Torment…don’t go yet, love. I’ll explain things to Moore. You said you have plenty of money, so you don’t need his job. You work too hard over there. And I don’t like those lumberjacks gaping at my woman everyday,” he confessed to stirring jealousy.

  She laughed. “Since I am so obviously your woman, you have nothing to fear. I would never look at another man with you in my life. But I did promise Harriet I would help her until she gets things under control. She’s been such a good friend to me. I would feel terrible if I deserted her. The work is hard, but I can handle it for a while longer. Besides, the men seem so appreciative of what we’re doing for them; they’re warm and friendly, and so kind and courteous. Another thing, with the outrageous prices here, my money won’t last very long. Worst of all, Mr. Jurrell, if I spent all of my time in here with you, people would gossip. How many vulgar tongues can you silence like you just did Marc’s?”

  “I would cripple the first man who opened his mouth against you,” he fiercely vowed, rekindling her qualms about a ruthless and stormy streak within him. “Who cares about the idle chatter of dreamers and fools?” he scoffed. It wasn’t like him to be so indecisive and tense. As to jealousy, this was their first introduction; and Landis didn’t like the green monster at all. For a man accustomed to governing himself and his destiny, he fretted over the loss of his control.

  “I do. I wouldn’t want them chasing around my skirts every time you leave on your mysterious business ventures. What kind of business do you have? I know so little about you.”

  “A little bit of everything: gold, furs, and supplies. Sometimes I hire out as a guide,” he lazily and smoothly deceived her.

  “A guide? Doesn’t that take a long time?” she fretted.

  “Sometimes,” he nonchalantly replied. “Perhaps not as long now that you’re here in Skagway,” he ventured with a devilish grin.

  “How long do you normally remain here?” she inquired.

  “A day or two every five to six weeks,” came the unwanted reply.

  “I won’t see you for over a month at a time!” she exclaimed miserably. “Can I go with you?” she boldly implored, dreading such a lengthy separation from him, needing to search for her father.

  He stiffened slightly and altered his mood most noticably. “No, Kat. It’s too dangerous out there. It’s no place for a gentle girl.” To distract her, he began to fondle her breasts, bending forward to tease them with tantalizing kisses and light nibbles. His lips moved up to her ear. She shuddered and moaned. He made his unwitting mistake when he huskily murmured, “This is the place for you, my golden torment, safe in my arms, torturing me with desire.”

  “You’re a sneaky devil, Landis Jurrell! Do you mean I’m supposed to sit here patiently waiting for you to show up every month or so?” she anxiously demanded, sounding possessive and petulant.

  “I’ll come to visit you every chance I get,” he lightly promised, caressing her cheek, bristling slightly at her attitude. After all, she had willingly surrendered to him.

  His tone and words panicked her. Visit me? she mentally echoed. She suddenly realized he had not mentioned love, commitments, or marriage. He had only spoken of companionship and desire. Anxiety and alarm raced through her mind and body. Was she so naive and gullible that she believed such an intimate and total submission revealed and expressed love and permanence? Yes, she positively felt that way! She had trustingly assumed he felt the same, but did he?

  In heart-stopping dread, she forced herself to say, “But what about us, Landis? I thought you needed me and wanted me.”

  Her meaning eluding him, he gazed at her in bewilderment. “What about us, Kat?” he casually repeated. “Of course I want you; I’d be a fool if I didn’t! I just told you I’ll come to see you as often as I can. But right now, my schedule’s unpredictable. Don’t fret, love; I’ll fit you in,” he teased.

  Fit me in! she mutely exploded. “I’m not a business matter! I don’t want an occasional visit! After what happened between us, I thought you would take me with you. I have to locate Jake Hammond; I can’t do it here,” she angrily informed him. “Did this mean nothing to you?”

  “Of course this meant something to me! Why would you think it didn’t? But I can’t take you with me! I’ve told you before, there’s no room in my kind of life for commitments. I promise to come here as often as possible; what more can I do? If you think Skagway is rough and uncivilized, it’s nothing compared to the Yukon Territory. Men suffer and die in there. I’ll try to locate your father. But you’ll have to remain here with Harriet. That’s the best deal I can offer,” he remarked unwisely, again alluding to her as a business matter.

  Dread washed over her as she prayed she was misunderstanding him. She was observing him intently, absorbing his tormenting words and their dire indications. Evidently he was viewing this intimate episode in a much different light. “Are you suggesting I stay as your…mistress?” she voiced her fears aloud in a tremulous tone. “You don’t want to marry me? You don’t…,” she stammered.

  “Marry you?” he echoed in disbelief. “Where would you get a crazy idea like that?” he snarled, as if the very thought attacked him savagely. Hell’s bells, he wished he could! It was impossible.

  She paled at the frigid tone in his voice and the brittleness in his eyes. “But we just made…love,” she quietly argued, as if that fact changed anything. “I need your help. Let me go with you.”

  “Is that why you submitted to me? You hoped I would feel obligated to marry you afterwards? If that’s why you did, Kat, then you made a grave mistake. I told you bluntly that marriage wasn’t for me, and I bloody well meant it!” he snapped, cursing the fact he would be forced to hurt her. He realized he was handling her and this situation wrong, but he was trapped, just as she was.

  “You said I was your woman! You begged me not to leave you! All lies to disarm me?” she accused, his sharp words cutting into her soul.

  Studying her explosive reaction and defiant expression, reality slapped him on the face: she actually believed he should marry her. Even if he did want her, marriage, a home, children, responsibilities, commitments, and truth…They weren’t for Landis Jurrell anytime soon…It tormented him to realize he wanted her and needed her, but couldn’t have her except on her terms, impossible terms at present.

  His mind was spinning. Was she desperately lonely and afraid? Did she view him as a protector, a solution to her many problems? He hadn’t tricked her. How could he stall her, but keep her?

  He calmly explained his views once again, “I did say you were my woman, Kat. But a woman and a wife are worlds apart. In all honesty, I do want you. I find you the most stimulating and refreshing woman I’ve met. As for deluding you—there, we don’t see eye to eye. From the first moment we met, I haven’t given you any reason to expect love or marriage. In fact, I made my feelings on those subjects very clear. Perhaps you were teasing and playing games the other night, but I wasn’t! I was deadly serious. I told you there was no place in my life for them, at least no time soon. I didn’t force you to make love to me; you wanted me just as much as I wanted you. If you want to call it rape or seduction, feel free to do so. But you know that isn’t true. I can’t take you with me, and I can’t marry you now. If you want me, great; if not without marriage, fine,” he stated more harshly and indifferently than intended, riled by the thought of losing her because of his refusal to marry her.

  They were each so involved in their argument, neither noticed that off in the distance, three shrill blasts announced a ship’s arrival.

  During this lengthy explanation, Kathy had time to comprehend her mistakes. Fury, disillusionment, shame, and agony stormed her ravaged heart. Yet, her pride and resilient nature took over in this devastating situation. No matter what he claimed, he had cruel
ly used her and deceived her! She would never forgive him for this pain which knifed her heart, this humiliation which stormed her mind, and this wanton hunger which viciously chewed at her traitorous body! But let him witness her defeat? Not on her life!

  “Evidently we’re at cross angles,” she stated. “When I asked for you to take me along, I meant to search for my father, not remain with you. Once we find him, I’ll either go with him or return home. You did say you hired out as a guide; how much do you charge?” she asked, her voice strangely calm, her expression obscure. “Just to clear the air, Landis, I was also serious the other night. Marriage sounds bad enough, but to a man I would rarely see? That doesn’t appeal to me. As for an intimate relationship between us, it wouldn’t work; we’re too different. I’m not foolish enough to call it rape or seduction. So are you for hire or not?”

  “Nope! I’m already hired out to several explorers who’ll be mapping the upper Yukon area, then to a group of trappers looking for new hunting grounds,” he claimed to halt any further discussion of that ridiculous idea. Had she merely been using him, setting him up?

  “You must know this area very well. Why can’t I come along, at least to Dawson? You can earn twice the money with one job. I won’t pursue you or be any trouble. I must find Jake Hammond. Tell me about the Mounties,” she abruptly pressed, ignorant of these formidable men who might aid her.

  Why was she so anxious to tag along with a stranger? he wondered. Was she trying to spy on him, or use him to find Hammond? She was far too inquisitive and enchanting. What better secret agent could there be than a bewitching woman? Who would suspect this creature? After his meeting with Bill at the Mounty station, he should. Suspicious and cynical by nature and training, Landis wondered how far this mercurial female would go to disarm him into complying with her wishes, or orders. Where was Jake Hammond? Sergeant Thomas had quickly responded to that name; he was anxious to find Hammond! What better way to deviously contact Jake than to put out feelers for a missing father! Damn, he was a blind fool! He had allowed this female to get to him! “Yep, I know this area better than any other man. But I’m not for hire by you,” he stated crisply.