by Aj Estelliam
‘You were wondering if you were going to catch the man who did it…the man who destroyed her face and left her like that. I just wanted to tell you-you do.’
‘Oh…I’m sorry, but you’re freaking me out with knowing stuff in my head. Maybe you just shouldn’t tell me?’
‘Yeah…I tried that and it hasn’t worked so far. I’ll make more of an effort.’
‘Thanks,’ she said quietly.
‘So, what’s your first name?’ I asked into the darkness. ‘I mean, it’d be nice not to call you Detective Love all the time.’
‘It’s JJ,’ she told me.
‘That’s not a name-that’s initials!’ I commented.
‘It’s what people call me.’
‘What does JJ stand for?’
‘Jessica Jacqueline.’
‘Oh…nice. Can I call you Jessica?’ I asked her.
‘Nope,’ she laughed.
‘What about Jessie?’
‘Definitely not!’ she said, sounding amused.
‘How about Jess then?’ I asked.
‘Jess I could live with,’ she murmured quietly.
‘Oh good…I’ll call you Jess then.’
‘What’s your name, Miss Hope?’
‘Alex,’ I told her.
‘Oh yes…you did tell us.’
‘Yes, I did…it’s been somewhat of an overwhelming day though, hasn’t it?’
‘It has-but I should have remembered.’
‘It’s fine,’ I told her softly.
Jess fell silent for a long moment and when she finally spoke, she surprised me with her words. ‘Alex?’
‘Yes?’
‘Why did you react like that when I took off my sunglasses?’
I swallowed hard, wondering how to tell her about what I had seen in the week leading up to meeting her. I decided to go with honesty. ‘I was surprised to see your eyes,’ I told her.
‘Why? Because they’re a bit freaky?’
‘No,’ I said flatly, ‘and stop talking like that about them. Your eyes are unique and very, extraordinary. They’re beautiful.’
Jess cleared her throat and seemed uncomfortable as she shifted in her seat slightly. ‘You looked shocked though…you reacted badly.’
‘I…okay, I don’t know what this means but I’ll tell you anyway…’
‘Tell me what?’ she asked.
‘Well, for the past week, every time I’ve closed my eyes I’ve seen your eyes.’
‘What?’ she exclaimed, with clear disbelief.
‘I close my eyes and then this image comes-crystal clear, green eyes with a fleck of brown. It was clear and detailed. The thing is, I don’t know why I was seeing them.’
‘I do,’ Jess replied.
‘Oh yeah? Why then?’ I asked, turning towards her in the car.
‘Well, I’m guessing it’s because we were destined to meet.’
I felt the breath in my body being stolen away at her beautiful, soulful words. Of course! She was my soulmate!
Chapter 7
‘We were destined to meet?’ I repeated dreamily, loving the phrase she had used.
‘Yes! Of course we were! You probably knew deep down that you were coming here and you were going to need police. You were just seeing me ahead of actually meeting me.’
‘Oh…yeah…’ I said, taking that on board while disappointment flooded through me. I thought she had meant that we were destined to meet for reasons related to romance. Clearly, I had been wrong.
‘Here we are,’ she said then, pulling up outside a nondescript house in a quiet-looking neighbourhood.
I looked up at the simple, brick house. It was nothing like the pretty cabin in the snow. ‘This is where we’re staying?’
‘Yes. It’s a safe house. You’ll be fine here.’
I wrinkled my nose.
‘Look, there’s an officer stationed outside already…they’re going to cover the perimeter twenty-four hours a day until the criminal is caught.’
‘I don’t think I’m in danger though…do you?’ I asked, turning towards her in the car.
I met her eyes and heard her thoughts before she spoke.
‘You do?’
She looked away briefly. ‘I think we should be careful.’
I frowned at her. ‘You think I’ve ruined his fun. You think revenge will be on his mind and it will be focused towards me!’
‘Stop doing that!’ she muttered angrily.
‘Well speak what you’re thinking then,’ I replied, just as cattily. I was as fed up as she was. ‘I just wish to God that people would say what the hell they mean. You wouldn’t believe the crap I’ve dealt with since my head has gone crazy.’
She went quiet for a minute, her eyes scanning my face. ‘Come on…let’s get inside and settled. It’s been a long day.’
‘Damn right it has,’ I frowned, unhappily.
I followed her out into the snow and we carried my belongings into the house.
Once everything was inside, Jess spoke with the other officer at the door for a few moments before saying goodbye and locking up as if it were fort knocks. The house was small and decorated simply. It was pleasant enough though and the only thoughts I could hear were Jess’ so it wasn’t too bad.
I unpacked the food into the fridge and the kitchen before joining Jess in the lounge. She had taken off her shoes and was pulling off wet socks, grimacing.
‘You look as wet as I feel,’ I commented.
‘Yeah…traipsing through the snow wasn’t exactly fun.’
‘No,’ I said, sitting down. ‘We saved her though,’ I said very quietly.
Jess looked up at me and met my eyes with an intense look. ‘No-you saved her, Alex.’
I looked downwards, embarrassed. ‘I couldn’t have done it without your help.’
She shrugged. ‘That’s our job.’
‘Yes, but it’s a very noble job you do…and very scary…’
Jess’ eyes flickered downwards and her thoughts ran through the image of the dead girl from earlier. Fear laced through her gut as she remembered being down in that hole in the ground.
‘Don’t think about it,’ I said, feeling sad.
She looked up, surprised.
‘Try and get the image out of your head.’
‘I’m trying-it’s easier said than done.’
‘I know!’ I exclaimed. ‘You must have pictured her six times in the past hour alone!’
‘I’m sorry,’ she said quietly. ‘I bet this was the last thing you wanted to be dragged into during your holiday.
I nodded. ‘You’re spot on there. The irony is, I came to Scotland to get away from all of this. I haven’t been dealing well with these thoughts in my head so I thought I would come away somewhere quiet. The ridiculous thing is, I’ve just brought more trouble to my door.’
‘You should change that thinking around in your head,’ she told me.
‘Huh?’
‘You saved a life tonight, Alex. That isn’t something to dismiss. That’s incredible and you should be proud.’
‘What about the other woman though? The one I didn’t save?’
‘That isn’t at your hand…think of Janey and the life she gets to live because of you.’
I nodded. She was right. I sighed. ‘Okay…I’ll try and feel proud.’
‘Good. Now, do you want to get settled? Can I do anything to help you?’ she asked.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, you’re still wet for one…are you planning on changing?’
‘Yes. What about you though? You’re wet too!’
‘I haven’t got any spare clothes. I’ll be fine though…I’m used to this kind of thing.’
I smiled at her. ‘Your words say one thing while your thoughts say another,’ I chuckled.
‘What are you talking about?’
‘You desperately want to be out of those cold, wet clothes!’ I laughed. ‘You were debating asking me to borrow something but you decided it woul
d be inappropriate given the circumstances.’
‘Will you please stop delving around in my head?’
‘I’m not!’ I exclaimed. ‘You’re practically throwing your thoughts in my face!’
‘I’m not doing it intentionally. In fact, it freaks me out,’ she said, muttering the words.
‘You mean I freak you out.’
‘No, I mean the skill or talent-whatever you want to call it-freaks me out. I don’t get it so it scares me I guess.’
‘You don’t need to be scared of me,’ I murmured, looking at her from under my lashes.
‘I’m not scared of you, as such…it’s what you can do that bothers me.’
I shrugged. ‘If I could get rid of it, I would. Come on…you’re uncomfortable. Let’s get changed,’ I said to her.
Jess and I headed up the stairs with my suitcase. I was surprised to find only one bedroom, a study and a bathroom upstairs.
‘There’s only one bedroom,’ I said, frowning.
‘Yeah…’ she replied, as if that wasn’t an issue.
‘But where will you sleep?’ I questioned, looking at the double bed as I dumped my suitcase on it.
‘In here-with you,’ she told me bluntly.
I whirled around to frown at her. ‘You’re not sleeping with me!’
‘I’m afraid you are! In fact, you’re not leaving my sight while I am guarding you. I’m under very strict instructions not to allow you out of my sight.’
‘That is utterly ridiculous! I am not being shadowed by you. I am perfectly safe.’
‘You don’t know that, Miss Hope,’ she said, in a slightly condescending manner.
‘For goodness sake! If you’re going to be sleeping with me, you can at least call me Alex!’
I stomped off towards the bathroom.
‘Don’t follow me! And get those lewd thoughts out of your head!’ I ranted, whirling to walk away.
I slammed the door shut to the sound of Jess’ amused chuckle. I sat down on the edge of the bath and sighed heavily. This holiday wasn’t panning out as I had hoped. Still, I had saved a life, I mused. That wasn’t something to be sniffed at.
I peeled off my wet clothes and ran the shower. When the hot water came, I stepped underneath the spray and sighed in contentment as the water warmed by cold skin. I stayed underneath the spray for a long time, able to shut out the voices and enjoy the peace. When I finally stepped out of the shower, I felt calmer.
I pulled a large towel around my body and walked to the door. I then paused as I realised she was waiting on the other side of the door, guarding me as instructed. I yanked open the door and stared at her. ‘I’m not happy with you,’ I told her.
She smiled at me and her face transformed. I realised just how stunning she was as her eyes lit up and her dimples showed.
‘Never mind,’ she said, on a gentle chuckle. ‘We’re not here to be friends.’
I frowned at her. ‘Nice.’
She shrugged. ‘I’m here for work. It’s not about keeping you happy.’
‘Well, you could at least be friendly.’
‘I could be…and I’m trying…I just seem to keep pissing you off!’
I looked at her again, holding my towel protectively around me. ‘Your thoughts are pissing me off…you have no right to be thinking of me in such a way.’
For a moment she looked suitably chastened. ‘I didn’t intend for you to hear any wayward thoughts I may or may not be having…I apologise.’
I nodded. ‘Thank you. Now why don’t you go and have a shower…you’re just as cold as I am.’
‘Thanks, but I can’t leave you.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous.’
‘I’m serious. I’d be neglecting my duties.’
‘But you want a shower…’
‘Of course-I’m cold and wet but work comes first.’
‘All work and no play makes Jess a dull girl,’ I laughed.
‘Well, unless you’re willing to stand in the doorway while I shower, I won’t be taking one. I can’t let you out of my sight.’
Even though it was slightly annoying, her over protective nature also made me feel cared for and looked after. ‘I’ll do that.’
‘What?’
‘I’ll stand in the doorway…I can’t have you feeling this cold.’
She gave me a strange look and then a look of contentment spread across her features. ‘Thank you, Alex.’
‘You’re welcome.’
I followed her to the doorway and then turned my back to the bathroom.
‘I’ll stand here where you can see me but I will turn my back.’
‘Thanks,’ she replied.
I listened as she undressed, as she hoped I wouldn’t turn around and see her scars. I frowned to myself, more than curious to know about her ‘scars’ which she hated about herself. Her thoughts told me no more than that; in fact, she was a closed book as far as they were concerned. She didn’t want me to see them and was full of self-loathing but that was the extent of it.
I waited while she took a quick shower and then the water stopped and I listened as she climbed out.
‘Okay, I’m done…thanks.’
I turned around and found myself looking for her scars. There was nothing visible on her arms or legs and I was intrigued.
‘What?’ she asked, begging with me in her mind not to bring it up.
‘Nothing,’ I murmured. ‘Shall I find you some dry clothes?’
‘Yes please…I mean if you can spare some?’
‘Of course-I packed for comfort and warmth and there should be something that fits you…we look about the same size-even though you’re taller.’
‘I don’t mind anything so long as it’s warm and dry!’
‘Exactly,’ I smiled.
She smiled back at me and I felt warmth in the pit of my stomach. I turned away feeling rattled by my reaction to her.
‘So, uh…you weren’t serious earlier, were you?’ I asked.
‘About what?’
‘About sleeping in here with me…that surely wouldn’t be appropriate in your line of work?’
‘Actually, you’re wrong-I have to stay with you-especially when sleeping. If I fall asleep too and am away from you when something happens, it could be a whole lot worse. I need to sleep beside you in case you have an emergency during the night.’
‘I’m not in the slightest bit comfortable with that,’ I told her bluntly.
She shrugged. ‘It’s how it has to be. I’ll sleep on the floor next to the bed if you’re really that bothered.’
I looked down at the hard, wooden floor. ‘You can’t sleep down there on the floor!’ I exclaimed.
‘I can and I will. I don’t want you feeling uncomfortable about all this.’
‘Oh, for goodness sake! Fine, just sleep on the bed! I can’t let you sleep on the floor just because I’m a frigid, old maid.’
Jess threw her head back and laughed at that comment. ‘Alex! You do make me laugh! Frigid, old maid?’
‘Yeah…’
‘I think that might be inaccurate somehow.’
‘Oh really? Why’s that?’ I asked.
Her beautiful green eyes with flecks of brown flickered down towards my mouth. ‘I don’t know what makes me say that but I think you’re wrong…’
I swallowed hard and tried to tear my gaze away from hers. It was impossible. She had me captivated in their intriguing depths.
‘However, this is work…and I don’t plan to be anything but professional with you.’
I nodded, slowly. ‘Jess,’ I said, needing to change the subject as an image came to mind.
‘Yes?’
‘Why don’t you have a Scottish accent?’ I wondered.
She frowned at me and turned. ‘Come on…we can talk over some dinner.’
I trailed behind her down the stairs as a little girl with unique, green eyes flashed before my eyes. The images were shocking and troubling. I shook them away with force.
Chapter 8
I followed Jess down the stairs feeling uneasy. What was I seeing now? Why were images of Jess’ past coming forward now?
‘What shall we make?’ Jess asked as we reached the kitchen.
‘Whatever,’ I said absently.
Jess turned and frowned at me. ‘Are you alright?’ she asked, looking at me curiously.
‘Not really, no.’
‘What’s going on?’ she questioned.
‘I just got a weird image,’ I told her.
‘About what?’ she asked.
‘You,’ I told her.
She looked at me intently. ‘Stay out of my head. This situation here is not about me and what my life entails-please don’t start all this…’ she warned.
I found the images difficult to shake but I did as she asked. I knew why she didn’t want to talk about what I had seen. Her past had not been pleasant.
‘Okay,’ I murmured, hearing her all-but beg for me to not question her on the topic of the past. ‘Let’s just make something to eat.’
‘Yes…what though?’
‘Well, I got everything for a vegetable lasagne. Shall we make that?’
‘You’ll have to show me how, but yeah…it sounds good.’
‘You’ve never made one?’ I asked, stunned.
‘No. I’ve eaten plenty of lasagne but always straight from the packet.’
‘Oh dear,’ I commented.
‘I work long hours,’ she explained. ‘And often into the night.’
I shook my head in wonder. ‘I can’t understand why anyone would want to be a police officer, if I’m honest. Everything you have to go through and experience…I wouldn’t last two minutes. What made you want to become a police officer?’ I wondered.
She shrugged, and avoided my eyes. ‘It just called me…’
I looked over at her and saw another image. ‘I guess when you’ve suffered, you want to protect. What better way than to become a police officer?’
‘Get out of my head, Alex,’ she ordered, looking at me sternly.
I shook my head, ‘Sorry…but I mean, that could have just been a comment in general! Most police officers want to protect people.’
She nodded, but looked aggrieved. ‘I do want to protect people. It’s why I’m here right now. I don’t, however, need you psycho-analysing me at every second of the day. Alright?’