Alex Hope

by Aj Estelliam

  I saw her eyes brighten at my words and hope fill her. It was the first time I had ever lied to her. I didn’t intend to deceive her but I wanted her to get through this okay. I hadn’t seen our future, in fact the last image I had of Jess was her lying in the snow looking almost dead. I didn’t mention that fact, hoping that it wouldn’t turn out like that.

  ‘I feel better now you’ve said that,’ she murmured.

  ‘Good.’

  ‘It’s going to be so strange,’ she then murmured.

  ‘To see him again?’ I asked, reading her thought process.

  She nodded.

  ‘He’s so angry…’

  She shook her head, looking confused. ‘Yes…I just don’t understand it! Why is he so angry with me? Why does he blame me?’

  ‘I wish I could tell you,’ I replied. ‘His thoughts are very erratic and almost manic…I don’t think he’s quite ‘with it.’

  ‘He did get into drugs pretty badly…’

  ‘Maybe that’s screwed with his head…maybe he’s a bit messed up because of it. Perhaps things are confused in his memory.’

  ‘That’s a lot of maybes,’ she commented.

  ‘Yeah…it’s just that I don’t know, Jess. I only know as much as I am shown.’

  She nodded. ‘Come on…we better go.’

  I pulled her back by the arm as she turned to go.

  ‘You okay?’ she asked, turning back towards me.

  I reached up and kissed her gently on the mouth. She sighed and returned the kiss.

  ‘About what you were going to say earlier,’ I began. ‘Me too,’ I said softly.

  Her eyes lit with warmth and she smiled at me happily. ‘I can’t wait for this to be over so we can get back to being together.’

  ‘Me too,’ I replied quietly, but as I followed her down the stairs, I was saying a silent prayer that we were going to get a future together. The image of Jess lying on the snow kept popping into my head. Once again, I shook it away. That wasn’t how this ended, it couldn’t be.

  We went en-mass to the station where I sat at a desk while the police officers met and talked strategy. They got me to pinpoint where I thought it was on a map but I struggled. I could only see it in my mind’s eye…I couldn’t identify it on a map.

  As I sat on my own, I could see him at his desk. His anger was increasing as he once again looked over the pictures in his scrap book. He reached into a drawer and pulled out a gun. I watched as he loaded it and then held it to his temple. He considered pulling it for a few moments but then his gaze landed on Jess. No…he would kill her first, he mused. She had to suffer and then he could die and rest. He was exhausted, tired. He turned to look at the bed in the shadows beyond but then the image faded. I saw no more.

  ‘He has a gun,’ I said loudly, stopping Captain Withers in mid-flow. ‘You’re going to have to go armed. He has a gun.’

  He stared at me for a moment and then turned and started barking orders. They were going to go in full riot gear, decked out for a fight. I sighed as I watched the commotion all around me. I prayed for it all to be over. I longed to be back in Jess’ arms and this to be a thing of the past.

  An hour later, we made our way to the forest. I led the way but was flanked by men…and Jess. I tramped across the snow, with heavy footsteps. I could feel his presence near and knew we would find him in the place he had been hiding. What I didn’t know was when Jess would end up lying hurt in the snow. The scene was unclear…blurred around the edges.

  I walked on, feeling exhaustion and cold seeping through me with each passing moment.

  When I reached a clearing, I stopped and looked around. I knew we were near but I was waiting for his voice. He had gone quiet though. It was as if he had warning we were coming…suddenly he was quiet.

  I turned to the left and then kept walking. Everything was becoming more familiar. I imagined him walking these tracks and planning his evil. I could feel his intentions and they were awful.

  As I went on, I began to see Jess in my mind’s eye-but from his perspective. I walked blindly, following his thoughts. While he was thinking about her, I was following the right trail.

  ‘Are we close?’ Captain Withers asked me, coming close to my side.

  ‘Yes…I think we are.’

  ‘We don’t want to spook him…we’ll go silently from this point on,’ he said, giving his officers a signal to indicate silence.

  I nodded in his direction and then walked on. They let me get a few steps ahead before following. I could hear the Captain’s silent directions to the teams from his thoughts behind me.

  I focused in on the man again and followed my instincts. I knew we were very close and as I got to the next clearing, I knew we had arrived.

  I stopped and watched as his image came into my mind.

  He stood in the bunker, preparing himself. He was ready. It was Jess’ turn…finally. He patted his gun in his pocket and then went to his desk to collect a photograph of his father. He then turned and caught his reflection in the mirror. A flash of eyes, familiar to me were seen then. His face, so similar to Jess’ alarmed me. This was his time, he thought.

  I turned slowly and looked at the Captain.

  ‘He has a gun…he’s preparing to leave the bunker,’ I told him.

  He nodded and turned immediately, giving instructions. I watched, feeling panicked as officers spread out, covering the perimeter. I felt my heart begin to pound as two men flanked me and led me to a tree nearby to stay behind. Jess followed and stood beside me looking grim.

  The Captain turned in my direction and asked me a silent question. I lifted my hand and pointed. I then lifted my hands and curved them over, to indicate the slight hillock under which he hid. He turned and looked and then pointed at the small rise in the ground. I nodded when he looked back at me. Yes, I told him mentally. That’s where he is.

  Another question popped into my head-once again from Captain Withers. ‘Shall we wait? Is it better to wait for him to come out first. It’s either that or take him by force.’

  I met his eyes across the snow and lifted my palm and held it out as if to stay stop…wait a minute.

  He nodded and then turned to watch the little hillock. I knew he was preparing to leave; I could see him. It wouldn’t be a long wait, I knew.

  I waited by the tree, feeling sick to my stomach. I wanted this to come to an end, but I didn’t want anything to happen to Jess in the process. I tried to see her beyond the image of her in the snow but nothing would come. I said a silent prayer that I would be granted a future with her.

  The first indication that he was on the way out was a metallic sound. A turning of a handle, grating on metal and then snow was displaced. I watched as the men closed in, forming a circle around the bunker…waiting…just waiting to take him.

  The scene which followed happened very fast, and in a blur for me. The hatch opened and he made his way out, completely oblivious to the fact he was surrounded. The second he was out, the men swarmed him, pummelling him to the ground and removing the firearm from his person. I heard the call that he was clear of weapons and felt a feeling of relief. I then watched the struggle as the man fought, screaming and shouting awful abuse at the officers. He fought and fought but they overpowered him, putting him in handcuffs and holding him down with force.

  Moments later, Jess left the tree we stood beside and walked towards him. I could feel her anger, her sadness and her dismay all in one as she struggled to contain her emotion towards her lost brother. I didn’t follow. She didn’t need my distraction in this moment.

  I stood back from the scene but could see and hear everything from my place by the tree. Jess reached him and stood in front of her. He looked up at her, with his face snarling in distaste.

  ‘Here she is,’ he growled.

  ‘Jamie,’ she murmured, looking at him in astonishment. ‘What happened to you?’

  ‘Not quite the darling brother you remember, sis?’ he asked. ‘Well, fuck you!’


  She recoiled, startled. ‘Jamie…why did you do all this? Why all the women? Was it because of me?’ she asked.

  He laughed, a maniacal sound which echoed through the woods in a haunting fashion. ‘I just wanted to feel what it’s like to take life…but you know all about that-don’t you sis?’

  She glared at him, as tears threatened. ‘Fuck you,’ she murmured.

  ‘Nah,’ he replied, curling his lip and turning away. ‘I’ve already been fucked over more than anyone could ever imagine.’

  ‘Yeah,’ she said quietly, to which her voice could barely be heard, ‘but the sins of the father should not mean the son-or daughter- suffers…’

  He shook his head. ‘You’re just as fucked up as I am, Jessica.’

  ‘But there’s one clear difference, Jamie. I didn’t go and kidnap and kill a load of women.’

  ‘Maybe not…but you’re still fucked up. You’ll never be normal. You’ll never lead a normal life. You may as well go and do the things I did-it feels good…it feels good to inflict suffering just as he did. Try it, you might just enjoy it,’ he said, his eyes glinting, unblinking with evil.

  ‘Take him away,’ Jess said sadly. ‘This isn’t the brother I knew.’

  ‘I hope you fucking die!’ he screamed as the men lifted him bodily and led him towards the police van which had pulled up. ‘You will fucking die! You have no idea what I know and what I can do! You’re over, Jessica! You’re fucked!’ he screamed, his voice breaking and loss of control making him shake and wrestle with the officers.

  They manhandled him into the van and I watched as they drove the crazed brother away. Excited chatter then filled the air around me but I ignored it and headed straight for Jess. She stood frozen to the spot where she had confronted her brother. I knew she was ready to break, I could feel her cracking.

  I hurried over as I felt her concern about her knees about to give way. When I reached her, I pulled her into my arms, unconcerned about anyone around me. I didn’t care who knew about us now. All I needed to do, was to comfort Jess. She was ready to collapse.

  Chapter 22

  ‘Get me out of here,’ she whispered against my shoulder.

  ‘Yes. Come on,’ I said, putting a strong arm around her waist. I began leading her towards the car.

  ‘Jess?’ Captain Withers said, falling into step beside us.

  ‘Help me support her,’ I said to him, ‘she can barely walk,’ I told him. He looked at me with a frown, as she slipped out of my hold and down into a dead-faint. I bent to her immediately, seeing her lying in the snow with vacant eyes. The image in my imagination became a reality as I tried to rouse her.

  Captain Withers quickly took over. Without a second thought, he moved and took over, scooping Jess into his arms as if she was as light as a feather. He was a large bear of a man but Jess wasn’t small. She was tall, even though she was athletically built.

  We traipsed over to the car and he loaded Jess in the back with me. I climbed in beside her as her head lolled. She was coming too, but drowsy.

  ‘It’s okay, Jess,’ I told her as Captain Withers slammed the door shut and headed around to the driver’s seat. ‘Everything is going to be okay now.’

  The Captain drove us to the station. We were required to be part of the questioning, even if we didn’t want to. On my part, I needed to explain my knowledge of the crimes and for Jess-she had a link to the suspect. Her involvement needed to be addressed.

  Separated from Jess immediately, I sat in a cold, uninspiring room and spoke to many law enforcement officers during that afternoon. I drank tea and vending machine junk and felt increasingly worn down as the afternoon progressed. I longed for it to end and to leave the station. Unfortunately, the hours dragged on.

  I eventually had hope when a new visitor arrived at my door. I looked up as the door opened. I anticipated it being another officer asking me yet more questions. It wasn’t. It was Jess.

  ‘Oh my God! Are you alright?’ I asked, springing to my feet and rushing over to hug her fiercely.

  ‘I’m fine…I’m fine,’ she said, detaching herself from me gently. She smiled down at me fondly.

  ‘How are you feeling?’ I asked, concerned.

  ‘I’m tired,’ she replied wearily.

  ‘Yeah…I can imagine.’

  ‘I came to get you…if you want to come with me, you can.’

  ‘I’m free to leave?’ I asked, surprised.

  ‘Yes, of course. You’re welcome to come back to mine if you like…I got one of the officers to collect your stuff.’

  ‘Ah thanks. Yes, I’d like that,’ I nodded.

  ‘Come on then. Let’s get out of here.’

  I followed her out of the room, only to bump into Captain Withers.

  ‘Hey. You two off then?’ he asked.

  ‘Yeah,’ Jess replied.

  ‘Remember I don’t want to see you for at least two weeks, JJ. Alright?’

  Jess made a sound of disgust. ‘Yeah, yeah…ridiculous, but whatever.’

  ‘It’s alright, Captain Withers. I’ll make sure she has a proper holiday.’

  ‘I’m sure you will, Alex,’ he said smiling.

  I watched him, feeling surprise. His face, when smiling, transformed completely.

  ‘Thank you for all your help in this case, Alex,’ he continued.

  ‘You’re very welcome,’ I nodded.

  ‘If you ever find yourself living in Scotland, I’m sure there’d be a job for you in my station,’ he told me.

  My eyebrows rose. A job? I listened to his thoughts. He was deadly serious. I had helped a lot and he believed in what I could do. He could imagine having me on board and being extremely helpful. ‘I…thank you, Captain. I haven’t really made any fixed plans about my future, but I’ll definitely bear it in mind.’

  ‘Good. You do that. It’d be good all round,’ he murmured, thinking internally that I was good for Jess and that I would make her happy. He felt fondness for Jess, similar to his own daughter. He just wanted to see her content and fulfilled.

  I smiled at him. ‘Thank you for your support, Captain.’

  ‘Please; call me Dan.’

  My smile grew wider. ‘Okay…Dan. I hope to see you again sometime.’

  ‘I’m sure you will,’ he said, looking at me closely.

  I chuckled. ‘You’re the psychic now, are you?’

  He shrugged. ‘I don’t know…I just have a strong feeling about it.’

  I waved as we left and then Jess and I headed to her car. Once inside, she drove out of the car park and towards her home. She seemed quiet and melancholy.

  ‘Are you alright?’ I asked after a while. She was thinking about Jamie; how changed he was since childhood. Her regret was palpable.

  ‘I feel so sad, Alex.’

  I nodded. ‘I can imagine…it must be awful to see one of your family become…well, become such a different person.’

  She sighed deeply. ‘Yeah…’

  ‘You need a holiday.’

  ‘I do,’ she agreed.

  ‘Will you have one with me?’ I asked.

  ‘What are you suggesting?’

  ‘I’m suggesting you come on holiday with me. With could go down South and stay with my parents or we could go somewhere nice. It’d give you a chance to get away for a bit and give me a chance to deal with this thing in my head. It would also give us time to spend with each other…see whether this thing between us is real.’

  ‘You doubt that it’s real?’ she asked.

  ‘Not exactly…I just…well, we got caught up together in the midst of one hell of a strange situation. I just want to get away with you alone and see if things are still the same.’

  ‘It would be nice…’ she mused.

  ‘It would?’

  ‘Yes…I mean, I haven’t been anywhere in years. I love the sea so somewhere close to a picturesque beach might be nice. I’d also be interested to visit your parent’s home,’ she told me.

  ‘Well, let’s
do both then!’

  ‘Okay! Which one first?’ I asked.

  ‘How about the holiday by the sea?’ she smiled. ‘I’d quite like to spend some time alone with you as soon as possible.’

  I looked over at her happily and smiled. ‘Me too…’

  ‘Will you book something?’

  ‘Why me?’

  ‘Because you’re the one dealing with the ‘thoughts’ and ‘visions.’ I want you to go somewhere you’re comfortable.’

  I nodded. ‘Okay…when we get back to yours, I’ll have a look on the internet and find somewhere quiet and relaxing for us to go to.’

  She nodded, looking satisfied. ‘Good.’

  When we reached Jess’ house, I was reminded of just how beautiful it was. It really was set in stunning surroundings and once again, I pictured myself being a part of the scene. I didn’t know whether it was a prediction of a future to come or just wishful thinking.

  We headed inside and Jess headed straight upstairs for a soak in the bath. She wanted some time to clear her head apparently so I got my laptop from my bag and started looking up holiday destinations.

  Sometime later, I found what I was looking for. It was perfect. It was a small village by the sea, secluded in a picturesque cove and its name? Hope. It was perfect to me-just what Jess and I needed.

  When she came down the stairs, I looked up at her and smiled.

  ‘How are you getting on?’ she asked.

  ‘Good. I’ve found the perfect place for us to go on holiday.’

  ‘Oh yeah? Where’s that then?’ she enquired, sitting down beside me.

  ‘It’s a little cove in South Devon. It looks absolutely gorgeous, Jess!’

  ‘Let’s have a look then.’

  I showed her my laptop and scrolled over some pictures for her.

  ‘Wow…that’s gorgeous.’

  ‘It is…and the village is called Hope. Isn’t that lovely? Doesn’t it inspire such…romance…such inspiration?’

  She smiled at me fondly. ‘It is a lovely name…and your name, Alex,’ she agreed.

  ‘So, can we go there? It looks fairly secluded and quiet. I think I’d get on okay there.’