Let it be Us

by Barbara Speak

  "I want answers now!"

  She was cupping her face, balling her eyes out and nothing in me held sympathy. Nothing was making sense until the guy she was giving her support to jumped up and screamed inches from my face, "He was my son!"

  What came next was pure chaos. Canyon grabbed the guy’s arm and jerked him away from me as Tonya screamed "No!" I tried to stop Canyon, but his fist was flying too fast and crashed into the guy’s face before he fell backward and hit the ground. The staff came from out of nowhere. Some were checking on the guy, who I overheard Tonya tell them was her brother, the other half were trying to calm a raging Canyon down as he screamed, "Where is she?"

  Every time one of them would attempt to touch him his arm, he would jerk back saying the same thing over and over. "Where is she?"

  When he didn't get answers, he started storming the halls. I stood there completely confused. I didn't know if I should go after him or press Tonya for answers. What the hell did he mean he was the baby's father?

  Before I could make my decision, Canyon had found Brooke. He disappeared going into the room, leaving me to confront Tonya or go with him. As much as I wanted to hear Brooke's explanation, it wasn't my place, even as his soon-to-be wife.

  Instead, I stepped over to the sobbing man in Tonya's arms and asked, "Why would you think it was even possible this is your baby?"

  He never explained, but she did.

  "She found out she was pregnant before she ever slept with Canyon and thought that if she could convince him it was his he would take care of her. She knew her family would disown her for getting knocked up. Then, you showed back up and ruined everything, so she decided to just take his money. I always told you she was an evil bitch! Don't you dare blame my brother! The only thing he did wrong was love her!"

  I had never wanted to punch someone so bad in my life. Instead I just said, "You disgust me" and ran to find Canyon.

  Chapter 32

  Just as I rounded the corner of Brooke's room I ran smack into Canyon. I lost my balance and fell to the floor, catching myself with my hands, but he never stopped to pick me up. All the while Brooke was screaming, “I’m sorry!”

  He never slowed down as he stormed the hall leaving me scrambling to my feet to catch up to him. The elevator door was closing by the time I got to it.

  "Canyon, wait!"

  The door closed, taking away any chance I had to catch him. I turned around and screamed, "Where are the damn stairs?"

  A nurse pointed to a door opposite of where I was standing. I burst through it seconds later taking two steps at a time, trying my hardest to beat the elevator he was on. By the time I got to the ground floor and threw the door open, I was watching him walk out of the hospital. Running as fast as I could, I caught up to him just as he got in his truck. The passenger side door was closer to me so I jerked it open just as he put it in gear. Launching myself onto the floorboard as he hit the gas, I climbed up and pulled the door closed.

  "What the hell are you doing, Canyon? Slow down!”

  He said nothing as I sat down on the seat and grabbed for my seat belt.

  “Will you please just talk to me? I know you are hurting but this isn’t helping anything!”

  We were out of the parking lot in a blink and flying down Second Street. Looking at the speedometer he was at sixty-five miles per hour and climbing.

  "Canyon, please slow down. You’re scaring me!”

  His grip tightened on the steering wheel, and then I heard him speak for the first time.

  "Why did you say yes?"

  At first I had no idea what he was talking about.

  "If you didn't want to marry me, why the hell did you say yes?"

  He turned to look at me just as we were approaching an intersection. The rage coming from his mouth didn't match the sorrow in his eyes.

  "I said yes because I love you I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Why would you question that?"

  Just as the words left my lips everything switched to slow motion. Canyon reached in his pocket for something at the same time over his shoulder I saw a red truck though the driver’s side window behind him, coming straight for us. He held my ring between his fingers and said, "I don't know what hurt worse, finding this on the back of the Goddamn toilet or losing a son that I thought was mine" the truck was right next to his door seconds later.

  "Canyon, look out!"

  He didn’t even have time to turn his head. The impact came a moment later, sending us in circles before the truck flipped several times and everything went black.

  It was blurry when I tried to open my eyes. I didn't know how much time had passed, but as my vision became clearer I saw my worst nightmare had come to life.

  “Canyon!"

  Inside, I felt like I was screaming, but I knew that my voice was barely audible. The only inclination that he heard me was that I suddenly felt as his fingers grabbing for mine. The pain I felt through my body was nothing I can even explain with words. There was no doubt that this was bad, and if I could feel the blood gurgling in my throat I knew the end was coming. I thought of Shelby and was grateful she at least had our mother to raise her into the amazing woman she would be, even if I was never going to see it with my own eyes. There were a million things I would never get to experience, but one thing was certain, whether we got married or not, I would have said yes a thousand times over with no reservation if given the chance again.

  Suddenly I felt something cold rest in the palm of my hand and knew immediately what it was—my ring.

  It was the faintest of whispers but I know I heard, "It was always you."

  I wanted to scream back the same words to him, but they wouldn't come out. My eyes wanted to close, but I fought with everything I had just to see him one more time. Just to tell him how much he meant to me one last time. I did all I could to get the words to escape my mouth, but they wouldn't come. It didn't matter anyway because I felt his hand go limp just as my life slipped away from me as well.

  In the end it all made sense. We were never meant to be apart even if that meant in death.

  Epilogue

  There is no place like the screened-in porch we have on the back of the house. So many memories have taken place in this very spot. Looking out onto the property, I see several generations laughing and playing, but when I turn and look in the eyes that once were so bright they sparked that now were set in deep wrinkles, I fall in love all over again. We created a legacy that would continue to grow and thrive. It was everything we ever wanted in front of us, a true gift from God himself.

  His shaking hand reaches for mine, and as much as I would like to tell you I am in perfect health, the years have taken their toll on me as well. When our fingers intertwine, he says, "There you are. You have been in a daze for a while now, darlin’."

  I smile knowing he is right.

  "I was just thinking about when we were young and didn't know anything about anything."

  His smile matches mine.

  "We may not have known much, but I have loved you from the beginning. That’s all I care about anyway."

  "Mom, Dad, I'm going to call everyone in for dinner. Would you like to take your place at the table?"

  Our youngest son, Dylan, took after his father in the cooking department and went on to become a professor at the Culinary Institute in Helena. His wife, Olivia, and he had granted us with four boys and one girl who were now all married with young ones of their own.

  Gabriel, our oldest, took over the quarter-horse business and married a lovely girl named Brenda. They had two boys and two girls, all which are now parents, giving us nine great-grandchildren.

  And lastly, our only daughter, Amelia, is the writer in the family. She herself married, but lost her husband Marcus to colon cancer last year. She has two boys, seven grandsons and her first granddaughter was born three weeks ago.

  "Hey, old lady! Get up and get in here while the food is still warm. Canyon wants to carve the turkey but won't without yo
u."

  "Shelby Jergensmeyer, you call me old again, and you will see just how fast I can still kick your butt."

  "Says the woman who needs help out of her seat."

  She has me there.

  I gratefully take the hand she offers and with her help stand, resting my arm on the crook of hers for balance. Slowly, two old ladies make their way into a very packed house. Between Shelby’s and my family, we have tables set up throughout, but there is nowhere to celebrate Thanksgiving other than in the house that started it all.

  I take my seat next to Canyon at the head of the table with Shelby across from me next to her husband Jason.

  I wish my mother could be here to see what life has brought us, but we lost her twenty-six years ago. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of her.

  "Are you all ready now that Mom's here to lead us in prayer?" Canyon asks.

  The sound of a resounding, "Yes" makes me chuckle under my breath.

  After the Lord's prayer is spoken, everyone tears into the food like they haven't eaten in years, forgetting all about the part where we talk about what we are thankful for. It isn't something I want to make a big deal about. I simply grab for Canyon's hand under the table, look at my amazing husband, and know I probably don't have the breath for all that I could have listed. In short I have love, I have family, and for now, I have my health. What’s left to come is a story I am forced to leave untold. What I do know is, it started with us, but will never end with just us. That’s the best part of life.

  Acknowledgements

  First, I need to thank Mac Robinson again for making this story what it is. The idea for Let It Be Me was created by a simple picture of you and will now stand the test of time. You have only grown to be closer of a friend over the past year, and I can only hope for plenty more years.

  Kara Bailey aka Little Momma. You have always been there for me day and night when I needed an ear. You are my biggest and by far best cheerleader, and I love you to pieces.

  Wendi Temporado, oh my God where do I start? You have become one of my best friends, and I seriously could do nothing without you. From the fifty plus messages a day to the occasional freak out phone call, you are always there to smooth out whatever catastrophe I fall in, and you know that happens way too often.

  Rebecca Pau, you are simply amazing. The deadlines I put you through were flat ridiculous, and yet you still created magic. Just shows what a real designer should be, and you set the bar high.

  My BETA readers, Jennifer Mitchell and JC Kane, you guys gave me the support I needed to bring this book to life. Jennifer, there never would have been an US without you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

  To my family and friends that have to put up with me blabbing about my stories all the time, I'm sorry! If this wasn't a passion, I would throw it away so you could have the old me back, but I'm not letting this go so you will have to just get earplugs.

  And lastly to my readers, hot damn are you guys amazing! I never thought after writing my first book that it would lead to this. That I could have strangers love my characters as much as I do. You guys make this way more fun than I ever saw this to be, and I am forever changed because of you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.