My Life With Deth
Page 21
That said, I don’t have a problem being around people who are drinking. Sometimes I see someone drinking a beer and I think, “Wow, a beer would taste good,” but it doesn’t get its hooks into me so that I obsess about it. I don’t mind being in a party situation for a while if there’s a reason for me to be there, like there’s a business conversation or I’m just sharing some camaraderie with a friend. I don’t mind being in it for a minute or two for that purpose. But I have to be honest with myself: if my purpose for being there really doesn’t exist, and I’m trying to get a little pleasure from the atmosphere, then it’s definitely time to leave.
One of the good things about being a seasoned musical artist with some maturity is that you can say no to certain opportunities. You can measure the money, which is obviously a consideration but not the only one, against your spiritual health and well-being. If nothing else, it stems from the desire for self-preservation. Most of the problems that befell me in the 1980s and early ’90s were of my own making, out of selfish ambition, lust, greed, and “I need to make a ton of money so I can afford to buy more stuff.” I was young, and experience has a way of teaching these lessons.
The struggle in my head going on right before I got clean in early 1990 was that quitting drugs and alcohol would take all the fun out of rock ’n’ roll. That was the lie of addiction speaking to me, saying, “Look how great you play when you’re on heroin; look how creative it makes you; you’re not inhibited; blah blah blah.” That’s the voice of the enemy. The rush of walking out onstage is still there, as strong as it ever was. Anyone who has ever rehearsed music with a band in a secure environment will know that as soon as you step out onstage, it’s an instant adrenaline rush. All theatrical performers of any sort have to be on autopilot to deliver their performance, because if you’re actually thinking about your performance, you’re missing a big part of the moment.
It’s simple. God does for us slowly what the drugs used to do for us quickly. When we put that junk into our bodies, we cut off our route to Him, and in doing so we shortchange ourselves. Some people can party and have a great time: I can’t. I’ve already proven that, so when I see that happening, as much as the first couple of beers and joints look like they’re a lot of fun, all I have to do is see people three hours later when they’re ten shots of Jäger and five joints into the night, and I think, “Thank God I didn’t start out when they started out.” I usually go to bed happy, thinking, “What looked good at 9 P.M. doesn’t look so good at 1 A.M. . . .”
Here’s the bottom line for me. I came back to find faith because of my need to have complete, 100 percent abstinence. I couldn’t do a little: I had to do none. I had to stop completely. We have a saying: “If you sober up a horse thief, what do you have? A sober horse thief.” At some point, the actual behavior has to change. Once you remove the drugs and alcohol, there’s still a spiritual void, and that’s what gets filled up through God and the process that eventually led me to finding faith.
I just couldn’t stop, and when I stopped on my own I couldn’t stay stopped on my own. I needed faith to make it work. As a guitar tech friend of mine told me back in 1989, “Seeking help to get clean is a sign of strength, not weakness.” How true! I will admit that just because I chose a spiritual path to fill for me slowly what the dope and booze used to fill quickly doesn’t mean that it must be the same for everybody. The whole process has been about accepting one’s place in this world and everyone else’s place, too.
A final word on alcohol and drugs. I think everyone knows, deep inside of them, if they’re in over their heads. They know if they’ve gone to a bad place and if they’re having a hard time coming back. All of us, with or without religious or spiritual convictions, can feel there is a level of honesty inside each of us that is our guiding compass. It can be said that is the voice of God speaking to us, and that is the first step in admitting our plight.
My time away from Megadeth really allowed me to do a lot of things with confidence. It taught me that I’m okay without Megadeth, and that’s a good place to be. Job or no job, family or no family, we can and should be happy with where God has placed us and with what He gives us. Simple, but not easy. It’s about reliance on God, not people. This allows us to be evenly yoked to those He puts in our path.
As a result of how things have panned out, I have a truly wonderful and blessed life. To have a host of friends around the world, to constantly experience new things and integrate into new cultures on foreign shores is all the result of picking up that bass guitar so many years ago. Being able to use my experiences to help others is a gift more valuable than gold. More than anything, I’ve learned that no life can be a happy one if we are only here to serve ourselves. Service to others is the grease that makes the wheels go around in this life. Just as important, it’s never to late to start anew. What once was doesn’t have to control the future, and what is today doesn’t have to be what it used to be.
Looking back on it all, God seemingly knew the end of my story before I even understood the beginning.
Selected Discography
A THOUGHT
The music
Music is something that moves people. I felt it when I heard rock ’n’ roll on the school bus radio, way back in elementary school. I wanted to capture and continue to create that feeling as a musician, for me and the listener.
With that said, hard rock and heavy metal are in my blood. I love this kind of music; it moves me and motivates me. But I also have a soft side that gets satisfied with acoustic instruments like piano and guitar, too. As a musical artist, I like to use all of the brushes and colors in the palette, not just the heavy ones all the time. That creates dynamics, which is what music really offers, and why it resonates so well with the human soul. We are dynamic creatures, and music helps us relate to things and people who are on our same wavelength.
Music started as a passion for me, and to this day it still is. Some musical settings can really rob you of that passion and leave you empty, even to the point of disliking music altogether. I try to avoid those people and those settings. After all, if music is your gift, anyone who tries to quench that gift is like a thief robbing you of what is rightfully yours to enjoy.
MEGADETH
Killing Is My Business . . . and Business Is Good! (1985)
This was a really raw album. I had great hopes and expectations for this album, but because it was on an indie record label we had little time or money to make it what I had hoped it would become. Fortunately, we got to go back and remix and remaster it in 2001—with proper album artwork, too.
Peace Sells . . . but Who’s Buying? (1986)
This was initially recorded for release on our first record label, Combat, but was picked up by Capitol in early 1986. It was remixed and released later that year and Capitol became our home for the next several albums, until 2001. It has a uniquely dark and menacing quality about it.
So Far, So Good . . . So What! (1988)
This was a fun and rowdy album, and the lineup change that preceded it was actually invigorating in some ways. It was the first album on which I started to compose for the band, and it was a great experience to work as a cowriter. I remember there was a massive earthquake in L.A. during the recording of the album, which was absolutely frightening—the first one I had ever experienced. A highlight for me was having Steve Jones of the Sex Pistols come in and record guitar on “Anarchy in the U.K.” He had some great stories, and as a fan of the Pistols, I was thrilled that he was playing on our album.
Rust in Peace (1990)
This album was written in the darkest days of my career, as far as lineup changes, management changes, and certainly drug use went. Fortunately, out of the darkness came a new dawn that yielded a powerful lineup with great chemistry and many successful albums to follow. It was also the pinnacle of thrash metal with the Clash of the Titans tours in Europe and the U.S. in 1990 and 1991.
Countdown to Extinction (1992)
This is still one o
f my favorite Megadeth albums. It was such a great time of brotherhood, with everyone writing together and developing the charisma and personalities within the band. Track after track, the songs really shone, and they still sound timeless to me.
Youthanasia (1994)
This period of the band also brings back good memories for me. There was a strong musical camaraderie within the group, and moving the operation to Arizona helped us escape the pretentious atmosphere of living and working in Los Angeles—a city in many ways the polar opposite of everything we stood for as a group.
Cryptic Writings (1997)
Next to Countdown, this was probably the group’s most musically invigorating and exciting album for me. There was a new optimism in the band, and new management that was very focused on helping carve out a new future for us. It was also the first record we recorded in Nashville, where there was a real buzz because country music was exploding at that time. Ironically, we gained great respect from the town and its notoriously accomplished musicians. I think this was because of our own musical fortitude and the integrity of working with Dann Huff, who had an amazing reputation industrywide with his own guitar playing and producing ventures. The mid- to late 1990s were not very favorable to thrash metal, but this album really thrived and put the band on top in the U.S. in spite of the many obstacles that plagued many of our thrash metal contemporaries. We ended up touring for almost two years on this album as a result.
Risk (1999)
We had just come off of a hugely successful tour with Cryptic Writings, and optimism was initially quite high for this next album. However, it was a transitional period for metal music. “Prince of Darkness” is still one of my favorites from this album.
The World Needs a Hero (2001)
This album had a good “band” vibe. Some of my favorite songs are the riff-heavy ones like “Dread and Fugitive Mind” and “Motopsycho,” whose video was filmed at the Hells Angels’ old haunts in Simi Valley, California. This album was supposed to be our last for Capitol, but instead it became our first album for Sanctuary. Instead, Capitol agreed to release a greatest-hits record called Capitol Punishment, which allowed us to move on to our new label. We are one of only a handful of metal bands who actually completed a multiple-album record contract for a major label. It also yielded the double live CD and DVD Rude Awakening, which was my last recording with the band until I rejoined in 2010.
Thirteen (2011)
This was my first studio album back with the band after rejoining the fold in 2010. In some ways, it was probably the most fun album I have ever made with Megadeth. The vibes were good and because we had such a limited time to record, with huge tours to follow, there was a real commitment from everyone to make a crushing album and get it completed on schedule. That urgency has made it one of my favorite albums to date.
Super Collider (2013)
This album marks my second record back with Megadeth since 2010. In many ways, it reminds me of some of our albums in the 1990s, mostly because the lineup has been solidified for two albums and extensive world touring. Being on the road tightens up a band, and I think you can hear that chemistry in the tracks of this album.
. . . AND SOME OF MY OTHER BANDS AND RECORDS . . .
F5, A Drug for All Seasons (2005), The Reckoning (2008)
After Megadeth disbanded in 2002 I had no intention of ever putting another band together in my lifetime. However, after several producing and songwriting opportunities that year, F5 formed in 2003. The band was a refreshing change for me. It was actually one of the most invigorating periods of my life, in terms of opening the floodgates to my songwriting.
Killing Machine (2006)
This opportunity came to me initially through drummer John Dette and vocalist James Rivera. I knew James from his Helstar days, as they opened for Megadeth in the 1980s and I produced an EP for them in 1993. I loved the songs on this album and the band had a great recording lineup. This also included Juan Garcia, whom I had known from 1983, when he was in a band called Abattoir. He played some of the first Megadeth shows in San Francisco in 1984. We never toured this band, as it was mostly an album project with veteran metal musicians.
Temple of Brutality, Lethal Agenda (2006)
Peter Scheithauer was the writer of the Killing Machine material, but before we recorded that album he wanted to do a Temple of Brutality record. I think Peter felt that ToB was more thrash metal in style, and a better fit in that era’s metal scene. Once we got in the studio to record in Fort Myers, Florida, we had a total blast together and couldn’t wait to get the band out on the road. We did some touring the following year and the group was ferocious live, with a great thrash and punk attitude.
Avian, From the Depths of Time (2005)
Avian started in 2003 when I produced a song for writer Yan Leviathan at the Saltmine Studios in Mesa, Arizona, close to my home. From there, Yan got excited about completing a full-length album. So I helped him produce it, brought in most of the musicians, and played bass on the album for him. It also led to a working relationship with former Balance of Power vocalist Lance King, who sang on the album and was able to help with its production once I got busy with F5 the following year.
Acknowledgments
HEARTFELT THANK-YOUS GO OUT TO:
God; my mother, Frances Ellefson, and my brother, Eliot Ellefson; my wife, Julie, and my children, Roman and Athena Ellefson; John and Lucille Foley and the entire Foley family; and all the folks who kindly contributed their stories and editorials to this book, including Frank Bello, Pastor Jon Bjorgaard, Randy Blythe, Chris Broderick, Rex Brown, Alice Cooper, Shawn Drover, Marty Friedman, Greg Handevidt, Glenn Hughes, Scott Ian, Kerry King, Fred Kowalo, Mike Kroeger, Ron Laffitte, Dave McRobb, Chris Poland, Jesse Reeves, and Jay Reynolds.
Mark Abbattista, Mark Adelman, Bruce Adolph, Steve Bailey, Tony Bass, Jim Beaugez, Chuck Behler, Karl Bergstrom, Ray Berry, Ron Bienstock, Scott Bird, Kyle Borman, Paul and Susan Brandt, Corey Brennan, Jim Brennan, Greg Carlson, Jim Carroccio, Jeff Cary, Frank Casanova, Max and Gloria Cavalera, Mike Clink, Bryan Coleman, Steve Conley, John Dallmus and family, John Davis, Jimmy DeGrasso, Jeremy DePena, Ryan Downey, Doug Dreyer, Tamra Feldman, the Fiala family, Paul Fisher, David Fishof, Jonathan Foster, Brett Fredrickson, Ethan Frier, Mike Gaube, Willie Gee, Tom Gibbons, Jerry Giefer, Brent Giese, Bob Goheen, Larry Hartke, Byron Hontas, Stet Howland, Mark Hudson, John Jackson, Jimmy Jacobs, Val Janes, Jaison John, Angie and Al Jourgensen, Matt Kees, Randy Kertz, Andreas Kisser, Mike LaTronico, Bill Leigh, Troy Lucketta, Kirk Martin, Larry Mazer, Brian McDonald, Lee Meecham, Mark Menghi, Nick Menza, Tony Moscal, the Neuenschwander family, Daryl “Barney” Olson, Tim “Ripper” Owens, Al Pitrelli, Keith Rawls, Jon Rayvid, Mike Renault, Pat Ritchie, Jon Romanowski, Peter Scheithauer, Brad Schmidt, Jim Schmidt, the Sether family, Rob Shay, Doug Short, Rat Skates, Mark Slaughter, Dave Small, Rod Smallwood, Billy Smiley, Andy Somers, Michael Spriggs, Dale Steele, Fran Strine, Doug Thaler, Scott Uchida, Mr. Udo, Jon Vesley, Randy Walker, Jeff Waters, Todd Weber, Mary Ann Werner and her family, Scott Wesley Brown, Jason Witte, Steve Wood, Bill Xavier, Jeff Yonker, Jeff Young, Danny Zelisko.
Dr. Wollenberg and all at Concordia Seminary, Shepherd of the Desert Lutheran Church and School, the Christian Musician Summit, all the teachers and staff of the Jackson, Minnesota, school system, CCV, the friends of Bill W. worldwide.
Bass Guitar Magazine, Bass Player magazine, Beamz Interactive, EMG, ETA, Hartke, Jackson Guitars, Jim Dunlop, NSFC, Peavey Electronics, Peterson Tuners, Planet Waves, Shure, SIT Strings.
Anthrax, Guns N’ Roses, Iron Maiden, Motörhead, Metallica, Nickelback, Slayer, Slipknot.
ADDITIONAL THANKS GO OUT TO:
My agent, Lisa Gallagher; Matthew Hamilton; Joel McIver; Philis Boultinghouse; and everyone at Howard Books for believing.
Dave Mustaine, for all the years of musical brotherhood.
In memory of my father, Gordon G. Ellefson; Craig S.; and Gar Samuelson.
TINA KORHONEN/WWW.TINA-K.C
O.UK
DAVID ELLEFSON is a founding member of the Grammy-nominated heavy metal band Megadeth and founder of the worship service MEGA Life! Ministries in Arizona. Megadeth has sold more than twenty million albums, received eleven Grammy nominations, and built a loyal fan base of millions over the last thirty years.
JOEL McIVER is the bestselling author of several books on rock music. His writing has appeared in several publications, including Rolling Stone, The Guardian, and Classic Rock.
MEET THE AUTHORS, WATCH VIDEOS AND MORE AT
SimonandSchuster.com
authors.simonandschuster.com/David-Ellefson
authors.simonandschuster.com/Joel-McIver
DISCOVER MORE GREAT BOOKS AT
Facebook.com/HowardBooksSimonandSchuster
Twitter.com/Howard_Books
We hope you enjoyed reading this Howard Books eBook.
* * *
Join our mailing list and get updates on new releases, deals, bonus content and other great books from Howard Books and Simon & Schuster.
CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP
or visit us online to sign up at
eBookNews.SimonandSchuster.com
Index
Abattoir (band), 160, 221
Abbattista, Mark, 166
Abbott, Darrell (aka Dimebag Darrell, Diamond Darrell), 81
AC/DC, 100
“Ace of Spades,” (Motörhead song), 166
“A Course in Miracles” (religious teachings), 204
Adler, Chris, 169
Adler, Steven, 71, 73