Beautifully Toxic (Toxic Love #1)

by L. M. Roberts

  “But sweetheart, he deserves to know. If I had a kid out there that I didn’t know about, I would be heartbroken that the mother didn’t tell me.” My dad can be such a douche sometimes when he makes complete and total sense; I so freaking hate him.

  “I can’t tell him about Triple-A. What if he tries to take him away from me?”

  “What if he tries to bring you all together and be a family?” he countered.

  Like that would ever happen.

  Not feeling hungry anymore, I politely tell my mom and dad that I’m not feeling well. Of course, they both have a skeptical look on their face, but they don’t say anything else. I give them both a kiss and make a promise to come out to the house within the next week so I can help them clean it up a bit before winter comes.

  Making my way out of the diner, I get to my car before coming to a stop. I look up at the night sky and see all the stars twinkling brightly. I can’t halt the rush of breath that leaves my lips. There is always something so calming about the night sky—it's like a constant that will never let you down. There are many variations of it. It's like you can tell if it’s angry, sad, happy, or frustrated. But it always shows its feelings at face value; not like the many people that I know who hide behind a blank mask.

  I like being able to read things. It's what helps me keep my calm in the world. It’s also the reason why I began tattooing. There are so many emotions that come over a person's face when you are permanently marking their skin. During the tattoo process itself, you can see pain marring their features; but when you’re finished, you see elation replace the pain. It’s like the pain of getting the tattoo is forgotten once they see the end product.

  It centers me--calms me to a point where the thoughts swirling around in my mind have to slow down as well. Tattooing people isn't just a job for me; it’s a lifeline. Without it, I would probably become psychotic. No one truly knows what others go through in this life. We only see what’s on the outside—the mask they wear to hide their real emotions.

  It was something that I did often; I hid my emotions from everyone around me. The only person that has ever been able to break through was Alex, and that was at the bar the other night. I normally wouldn’t have kissed a man like I did him that night. The other men I’ve been with didn’t get to me nearly as much as that kiss with Alex had.

  I didn’t know what I was going to do about Alex, but I had to figure out something quick. It was eating at me to keep this from him. He never did me dirty, but that didn’t mean that he never would. I couldn’t lose my baby. I just couldn’t. The sound of squealing tires caught my attention and it was like a flashback to the bar a few weeks ago. I could have gone another year without this happening. Hell, my whole life.

  How do you tell the man you lost your virginity to that you had his love child? I was in the process of getting into my car when something came out of nowhere and hit me in the side of the face. My head snapped back against the car door and I instantly saw black dots line my vision. What the fuck was that? I felt light-headed like I might be having an out-of-body experience. I glance up, and the last thing I see is my mom and dad running toward me before I feel hardness at my back, and I give in to the darkness that had been creeping up on my vision.

  Chapter Eight

  Alex

  This is fucked up!

  Just as soon as I pulled into the diner parking lot and saw that Sin was there, I was ecstatic. There were things that we needed to talk about. It had been a week since the kiss and I was ready to face the music and get the awkward conversation out of the way. It was ignorant for me to keep holding this shit in when all I wanted to do was take Sin to bed and fuck her out of my system. I was determined that what was wrong—that one time when we were younger wasn’t enough.

  I was finally ready to face her, but before I could get out of the damn vehicle, a fucking bird tries to take her out. That son of a bitch side-swiped her head and knocked her the fuck out. It would be funny as hell if she didn’t look like she’d been hurt and could use some help.

  I put my truck in park and slowly got out of it just as I saw two people come running out of the diner. I have no idea who those people are, but apparently they know Sin. The giant of a man picks her up off the ground and holds her to his chest. I’m instantly overcome with rage at another man touching her. I know I don’t have the right to say anything, but I can’t stand seeing her in another man’s arms.

  “Where are you taking her?”

  He glared back at me while he set her in the front seat of what I figured was her mom’s car. “That’s none of your damn business, boy. I’m her father.”

  It was good that he clarified that for me, but the rage was still on the precipice of boiling over and his snotty attitude wasn’t making things easier. He may be her father, but he wasn’t mine and he wasn’t going to talk to me like that either.

  I narrow my eyes at him. “Let’s get something straight here; Sin is my business. If I ask you a motherfucking question, I expect an answer,” I seethe.

  Her mother pushes against his chest as if to hold him back. “Deacon, let it go. This has to be the man that she was talking about. Let. It. Go. Don’t you recognize him?”

  He shrugs off her hold and comes to stand in front of me. He was an intimidating man, I’ll give him that, but I was not going to stand there and let him talk to me like I was a damn horny teenager trying to get with his girl.

  “Marge, get in the car,” he orders, giving me a onceover.

  I stand my ground and never let my eyes leave his, even though I desperately wanted to see how Sin was holding up. I hear her car door quickly open and then shut within the next breath. The snarl curling his lip led me to believe that he was almost at the end of his rope with my antics. Well, I was at the end of my rope with people that thought they could boss me around. I got away from that when I was sixteen, and I’m not going back to it.

  He lifts a hand to my chest and pokes his finger into my pectorals. “I will say this one time and one time only. Stay the fuck away from my daughter. I know who you are, and I know you’re the reason she has that damn brand on her motherfucking chest.” I gasp like I’d been slapped across the face.

  That tattoo was because of me?

  “Why?” I whisper in a pained voice.

  He cocks his head to the side as if to say I was a dumb, clueless asshole. “Seriously? You really don’t know? Don’t fucking play dumb with me, boy. You fucking broke her heart all those years ago. Trust me, my wife had to sit in Sinclair’s room many nights and talk her down. You are the motherfucker that broke my little girl!” he finishes on a shout. His eyes were blazing with so much pent-up fury I thought it would swallow me up and drag me all the way to Hell.

  “I didn’t know.” I try swallowing the lump that now constricted my throat. “If I meant so much to her, why didn’t she just say something?”

  Deacon blew out an exasperated breath. “It’s because she fucking loved you! And right now boy, you’re on my fucking shit list. You need to take your ass on home and leave her alone.”

  I stepped away from him like he burned me. She loved me? What. The. Fuck. There was no way that piece of heavenly perfection loved me. I was bad news. I was someone that you were scared to bring home to meet your parents. I was the person that always, always fucked things up.

  “You’re lying,” I gulp, my nerves already past being frayed.

  Her father bit out a menacing chuckle. “Lying?” He shook his head. “No, dumbass. I may be a lot of things, but a liar is not one of them. You didn’t see her every day. You didn’t see the shell of a person she turned into when you moved away. I don’t know why you did, but to be honest, I’m fucking glad. It took her years—years to get back to the person she is today, and I’ll not have you ruin it!”

  While he was ranting, the only thing I was stuck on was the fact that Sin had loved me. I wonder if she still did? Could it be possible that fate brought me to the tattoo shop where she was working? Th
ere were dozens of tattoo shops around my home. What brought me all the way to this part of town to Get Inked? What caused me to travel fifteen minutes to that part of the city and then find that shop?

  I looked past Deacon to the car that held the only woman that I’ve ever had strong feelings for. Deacon must have noticed my gaze because before I could summon up enough courage to walk toward the car, he stopped me.

  “Don’t even think about it, pretty boy. I’d hate to mess you up and I’ve just eaten dinner. I tend to keep the messing up before my last meal of the day.”

  For some ungodly reason, his response had me chuckling. “So, you have schedules, huh?”

  I glance back at Deacon to see a dumbfounded look on his face. The only thing he did was nod his head. I smile. “Well, that’s funny, because so do I.”

  Deacon groans. “I know what you’re trying to do. You’re not going to be seeing my little girl anymore. You got that?” he says in a stern voice, more than likely trying to scare me. “We’re going to leave, and you are going to go on your way.”

  It was then I heard a screech from the car. I quickly turn my head to the sound and found Sin looking at me with wide eyes. I smirk in her direction. I start to step forward to go to her and her dad places his hand firmly against my chest. I cock an eyebrow in question and shoot a lethal glare at him. He doesn’t back down from my glowering in the slightest. If anything, that seems to light an inner fire in him as well.

  “I’m going to her,” I force out, taking another step forward.

  He slowly shakes his head from side to side. “Nope, I don’t think you are, pretty boy. We’re leaving and you are going to go the opposite direction. Understand?”

  I burst into a fit of sarcastic laughter. “Do you really think that I am going to allow you to leave without me speaking to her first? Please don’t tell me you’re that fucking dumb.”

  He forces himself close to me and opens his mouth with a comeback, but I beat him to it. “What? You going to kiss me now, old man? Let me just tell you something,” I say as I step away from him “I don’t swing that way.”

  Deacon growls and grabs the collar of my shirt just as the door to her mom’s car opens. I stare into his eyes defiantly. There is only one way I will back down from not seeing Sin, and that’s if she comes with me right now.

  “Will you two stop with the pissing contest? My God.”

  Just hearing her voice eases my nerves—especially hearing the feistiness in her tone. I step away from her father to see that she was standing next to the hood of the car now.

  “There is no pissing contest when I am the victor, Sinclair,” I seduce, walking toward her.

  Her dad made a move to stop me, but I just look at him and kept walking toward her. When my eyes fall back to her, I saw her visibly shiver. Just that one innocent act had me hard. I came to a stop just in front of her and had to look down at her because of my towering height. I smile when I see her swallow hard and avert her eyes away from me.

  “Sin, go get in the truck,” I say, my voice coming out as a low, drawn out order.

  “No,” she whispers.

  I lift my hand and lightly graze the tips of my fingers along her jawline. “No? Are you sure that’s what you really want?”

  Instead of speaking, she just nods her head, which really amps me up. I lower my lips until they are next to her ear, lightly licking the shell of her ear. “Get in my truck, now.”

  I was through playing these little games with her. I didn’t love her. I’m not even sure that word was even correct in a sense. But I did want her; I’ve wanted her more than I have ever wanted anyone. And I always got what I wanted. It may be an ignorant move to put myself in this position, but I would make it work. Sin was mine and I would be the only man allowed to touch her from now on. I was lost to her, and I would have her until I got her out of my system. Then, and only then, could I return to normal.

  Chapter Nine

  Sinclair

  I didn’t know what to do. Just the roughness of his voice had me frozen in place. He wants me to get into his truck, but how am I supposed to do that if I can’t fucking walk? It’s taking everything in me to stand in this spot and not move. His presence is so overwhelming that I feel like a sex-crazed teenager when I’m near him. How does he make me feel like this?

  I need to be strong. I have to fight this pull I feel toward him. That’s the only way I can make it out of this alive. Last time about killed me. Now, it probably would. I can’t let that happen again. I got this tattoo across my chest so I’d be reminded of all the pain I felt when he left all those years ago.

  How was I supposed to do that when he was looking at me like he wanted to jump my bones? Just the mere presence of him has lit up all of my senses. I need to diffuse the situation before it becomes even more out of hand. It wasn’t a want; it was a need to be out of his presence. Each moment I stand here and he’s within arm’s reach, is a moment that my resolve crumbles more. I take a step back from him and lift my eyes to his. I don’t know what I’m searching for, but I hope that I can find it in his gaze.

  Just one hint that you don’t want me. That’s all I’m asking for. Please¸ save me from me.

  The more I stare into his eyes, the more lost I become. Fuck. The only thing I see in his eyes is a strong need to protect me.

  “No,” I finally find my words as I continue backing away from him.

  At my words, a flicker of something, maybe anger, passes in his eyes. His nostrils flare just the tiniest bit, which tells me that he is trying to hold on to the last shred of control he has over his body. He wants me, I would have to be ignorant not to see that.

  He takes one giant step toward me and pushes his body flush against mine. “I’m not asking you, Sin; I’m telling you. Get the fuck in my truck. Now,” he growls low in his throat. The sound causing my heart to beat faster than it did a few moments ago.

  I try one more time to get him to go away. “I said no, Pierce.”

  He releases a menacing chuckle that has me shivering in my heels. He smiles, leans over and whispers in my ear, “Just remember you asked for this.”

  Before I can ask what he is about to do, he bends lower and grabs me by my upper thighs and picks me up over his shoulder. I start yelling obscenities at him and glance over to see that my father is standing there in shock. I wave my arms around wildly at him to get him to help. He starts walking toward us before I hear the car door open and my mom step out.

  “Deacon, get on the fucking bike.” I open my mouth in shock and just stare at my dad, seeing his jaw tick with restrained anger. “I think this is a long time overdue, don’t you?”

  “Mom!” I scream. “Dad! Get me out of this fucker’s arms.” I see my dad close his eyes before he starts to walk over to his motorcycle. “Dad!” He throws his giant leg over the side and immediately the bike roars to life.

  He looks at me and then at my mom. He releases a sigh before glancing back at me. “Sorry, baby girl. What momma bear wants, momma bear gets.”

  He revs up the bike motor and then releases the clutch and brake. His tires screech against the asphalt of the parking lot and the last I see of him is his brake lights before he pulls out into traffic. My mouth falls open in shock for the second time. How could he? Is my dad really going to leave me with this monster? I start to struggle in Alex’s arms only to have a hand come down hard on my ass.

  “Ouch!” I squeal and double my efforts to get away from him.

  Another smack comes down on my cheek with just as much force, if not more, than the first one. “Settle down up there, Sin. I love the feistiness, but you twisting and turning is getting on my nerves.”

  I struggle again, testing him. I hear a chuckle just before another slap lands on my smarted ass. I whimper more from the pleasure than the pain, but he doesn’t have to know that. His hand soon closes over my pained ass and begins to rub as if to get the pain to go away. Yeah, no chance of that. Especially, when it’s a deep throbbing pl
easure I am feeling. The worst part about it is that I can feel myself becoming wet from it. If he ever finds out that I was getting off on him spanking me, I would never live it down.

  I look up to see my mom standing with her arm resting on the open door, a bright smile on her face. I call out to her in hopes that she will break out of the momentary lapse of sanity she was currently struck with.

  “Mom! Help me with this ogre!” When she made no movement to come help me, I let the words fly, not caring what all I was saying. “I thought you were my best friend! To hell! If you were my best friend, you would help me out! How could you? You know what this asshole did! Oh my fucking God! Mom!”

  When Alex comes to a stop next to his Ford Raptor, I make one final attempt at getting away. I grab for the hood of his truck with all my might. He is momentarily thrown off balance and I have the upper hand. He starts to fall backward only to catch himself at the last minute. As he was falling, he lets go of me and my body fell on top of the hood. I scramble to the other side just as his head comes back into view.

  His eyes narrow when he sees where I am. “Sin. Don’t make this harder than it has to be.” He growls as he places his muscular arms on the hood.

  “Yeah, bullshit,” I scoff. “There is no way that I am going back to you.”

  He chuckles and the sound chills me to the bone. “You will be getting into this truck… There is no doubt about that, little girl. Now be a good girl and come over here or a punishment will be what you get instead of a reward,” he finishes with a lick of his lips. My body automatically responds to his devilish promise and I shiver.

  Does he realize who I am to him? Little girl is what he called me all those years ago. I want to say that he does, in fact, know who I am, but that would just be wishful thinking. There is no way that I made that much of an impression on him. If I did, he wouldn’t have left all those years ago.

  Just the sight of his pink tongue slowly gliding over his lips has me weak in the knees. If I was standing up instead of kneeling on the hood of his Ford Raptor, I’d have hit the pavement by now. No man has ever gotten to me this way before; and to be honest, I’m not sure that I like that.